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People like to think that the opposite of fear is courage, when in fact the opposite of fear is faith. When you have faith to overcome your fears, you realize you had courage all along.” – Unknown

When you believe, you would come to realize that “nothing is impossible”.

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By selahsomeonetotalkto Posted in Legends
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Please Don’t Judge Me Wrong

I have my own ways, however they may not be what you are used to but so far they have worked for me. I may not be where you think I should be but trust me, I am not where I used to be. I make my choices and I have learned to live by their consequences. I want to improve but on my own terms, I want to see my dreams come to life but at my own time. Sorry if I come to you as a disappointment but soon you will give testimonies of how you met me.

My methods are not conventional, I don’t use the orthodox approach, being a conformist is not who I am, I may come to you as being lazy but I still get the job done. I may not yield to rules or bind my actions to general principles but I live by my codes. Don’t judge me based on your ideals, you are not the standard I live by. Your truth may not be my truth because we have different facts about living. You and I have a different path to take and a different part to play, so because something works for you doesn’t make it a must for me. I am me!

Don’t judge my faith, my passion, my relationship or my lifestyle they are all part of me, my experience and the way I have come to terms with life. If you truly love me, lead by example and if I am convinced I might follow you. I am not inferior because of the colour of my skin, my background or my level of education, they are no limits to what I can become and I have embraced that fact, so just you know, I have big dreams too.

Please don’t judge me because I don’t measure up to what you expect, I am still growing and I believe I still have enough time to be who I am destined to be. I have my dreams, I have set my goals, I know my mission, they may not be as big as you might have imagined them but this works for me. They will grow as I grow, they will become bigger as I nurture them and maybe you would come to learn a few things too about starting small.

I love who I am, don’t try to change me, don’t measure me on your own scale of perfection. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be measured but against who I was yesterday and who I can become tomorrow. Just as I have accepted you for who you are, do same for me. Watch me take shape, I will stumble but I will pick myself up, I may have my heart shattered but be sure I will pick up the pieces and move on.

I enjoy it when you share your thoughts with me, I learn and I adjust some things about me but when you pass judgement, the lessons become lost in the resentment. I am like the proverbial square peg in the round hole, I may not fit in but I am indispensable, please don’t judge me wrong.

Please Don’t Judge Me Wrong

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I Hate Him And I Hate Who I Am Becoming

This is a story of a young man who found out he can’t run away from who he is becoming. I will share with you this story as written by this fellow, please read, digest, make your own conclusions and if possible, drop your comments for others to learn from.

Happy reading!


Dear Selah,

Thank you for accepting to share my story. I know this is not where my story ends but I am sure there are many others who are silently going through similar experience and I just want to use mine to give them comfort and let them know they are not alone, the same feel I got when I read your article “I don’t want to be successful”.

I hated my dad because he was never around. He was basically preoccupied with work. We only get to see him once in a month and even when he was around, he was like a terror in the house, no one seems to know how to do anything right, even mom. He provided for us that I cannot lie about, when we needed money he was always there, we had a driver to take us to school and we got the best of things except a daddy. Now my father is old and he wants us around him but there has been a disconnect over the years, that somehow we have not been able to overcome that hatred we had for him while growing up.

Years, gone by now and I am also a father with three kids and I work away from my family. Due to the nature of my job, I only have Sundays to myself and public holidays. I am always away from my young family and I try to make it up to them by providing for all their financial needs. I ensure my kids go to the best school I can afford and my wife too, I try to give her the best, a car of her choice, good monthly allowance even though she works and gifts from time to time just to show her how much she means to me.

Some weeks ago, it was during the Christmas break, I overheard my kids arguing. The youngest was asking the oldest, “who is our daddy?”. This came as a shock to me, is it not obvious? Then the eldest’s response made me shiver, he said, “I think it is that man that comes during holidays”. I could argue all I can that it is because they are still young (8, 6 and 4years) but the truth is I am becoming what my father was to us, “a father and not a dad”.

Selah, that night I had a heart to heart talk with my wife and when she unbottled, I realized money can’t replace being around, and as much as they need comfort, they need me around. Today, I am still trying to find a way round it but I make sure I am around every weekend at least till I am able to find a permanent solution.

I know many families are going through this same issue, I just want to advise fathers like me; money can’t replace your role as a daddy and don’t think your kids will understand because you tell yourself you are doing it because of them. And even when your wife seems understanding, there is a lot bottled up inside of her because nothing can replace you being around.

Thanks for all your articles, selah, you are making a big difference.

I Hate Him And I Hate Who I Am Becoming

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Trade off to Success

“To get one thing that you like, you have to give up another thing that you like.”

Some will say you can’t eat your cake and have it, if you have eaten it then it is gone; the irony of life. The cost of something is what you give up to get it, the cost of building your own dream is to give up building another man’s dream.

Unfortunately, most of us want to eat our cake and have it. We want to party all night and still excel in the exam we write in the morning; we want to live in sin yet enjoy unlimited Grace; we want to lay idle yet except something to happen; we want to stay in bed and hope success will find us there… To have what we desire most we have to give up what we desire least. It is called sacrifice or trade off.

Winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the trade-off they’re making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that’s the difference.
Lou Holtz

Trading off is not an easy thing to do, losing what you desire is never fun, no matter how small it seems but the truth is that it will be worth it. It takes discipline for someone to give up what he is enjoying at moment just for the sake of what he is to enjoy in some distant future, a discipline many of us lack and the reason it has been difficult to change our status.

What are those things you need to give up to be able to focus on your goals? Deep down you know you have to let some things go, you have to avoid some sets of people and stop taking advice from some group of friends. These are little inconveniences you will have to bear if you desire to reach those goals. Trade offs are must on your route to success and a stitch in time saves nine!

Trade off to Success

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*To live without a dream*

I have lived in misery before. Not because of karma but because of lack of understanding. Day in and day out walking the tightrope of a mundane existence. Merely existing and nothing more. I think this defines what I went through “To live without a dream”.

Let me tell you something. There is no nobility in poverty. I’ve been a rich man, and I’ve been poor man. And I choose rich every … time. Cause, At least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of a limo wearing a $2000 suit …and $40,000 gold …’ watch! Now, if anyone here thinks I’m superficial or materialistic. Go get a job at … McDonald’s, because that’s where you … belong!

– The Wolf of Wall Street – Leonardo DiCaprio Speech

Not knowing all the while I was only sleepwalking, not living. The road to hell is plagued with misunderstanding after misunderstanding, a fortune I wish on no man. My road, my mind resembled a rickety street full of potholes at this time. All because I all too well knew what it was, like To live without a dream.

Paradise can resemble hell when one has no dream in heart. Nothing to wake up to, no sense of urgency about life. An idle mind, one without a desire to aspire to anything worthwhile. To live without a dream, makes the heart unworthy of the air we breathe. The only logical recourse to be taken, is to set your sights high and give your heart a reason to beat.

“Listen, and take my advice,” she urges. “Don’t overlook the money part of it (life), I’ve been poor and I’ve been rich. Rich is better!” – Fanny Brice,

By all means, dream. Think the best for yourself, act on those thoughts and for all those around you let them feel your impact. For all those with a vision, imagine what it would be like, To live without a dream! Push to achieve your greatness and you will inspire greatness in the others. Let the passion that pushes you to excel, be heard, let your stories be told beyond the reaches of your world and even after you are long gone your name will continue to live on.

To live without a dream

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Embrace Who You Are

Sometimes, however, there’s no one around to give you that hug you need. When you’re having a bad day, experiencing some sort of pain, or simply craving a bit of affection, why not give some love to yourself? … Mimic the pressure that you feel when you get a reassuring bear hug.

There is so much to you than meets the eye. True, you may not have figured out all about yourself but you can still build on the little you know. Don’t let people shut you down just because they don’t like the way you speak or your kind of ideas. Don’t let people put you down because you are not what they expect. Don’t shrink just because you want to make someone feel comfortable around you. Don’t become someone else because someone close does not like your kind of person. It is who you are, embrace it and make the best of it.

You have to stop apologizing for who you are. You can’t keep denying what your passions are, no matter who is misunderstanding what matters to you. You should be your own number one fan, no one should love you more than you love yourself. Your line of thoughts may seem very odd, don’t be shy to stand by what you think is real, be proud of your views. You may not have as much insights as others do but that doesn’t mean you are not capable of something more meaningful. There is a You in there, embrace it.

You can learn, learning is not beyond you. You can improve on your current self that is the idea of living but never let anyone take away your values and what you believes. These are your identity, fight to keep them, they are who you are, protect them with your life. You are special never let anyone tell you otherwise, even when people fail to see why, never doubt yourself. They will surely come around, each one bearing gifts when you fully form.

Photo Credit: Hugging Myself
by escaped-emotions

Love yourself, no one will do that right for you. Don’t let your head down less others will look down on you. Humility is good but do it with pride, self-belief, self-love, good self-esteem and unshaken desire to excel in all things. You are your own greatest ally, cast away all doubts and trust your instincts, listen to your heart and pay close attention to your mood. They are all part of your making, even when your eyes fail to see they will keep you safe and on track.

Make it all about you, when you learn to love yourself as you should, loving others won’t be a problem. This will impact on your friendship and relationship; it takes a complete you to complement another. You have got so much within you; talent, gift, wisdom, thoughts, passion… loving yourself is all you need to amplify all these. Don’t fail the You inside, embrace who you are and watch life get less complicated.

Embrace Who You Are

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I Just Realized I am god

I said, “You are gods, And all of you are sons of the Most High. – King David

A man’s strength is in his understanding of his potential. When you know the kind of power you possess you can know what battles you are equipped to fight. I made a shocking discovery today, I just realized I am a god!

I am god, this is not blasphemy this is reality, a reality that works base on my faith and not yours (so you don’t have to believe me for it to become my reality). By the way, I am still trying to wrap my head around what this means though but with all the movies I have seen about gods; god of Egypt, Odyssey, Zeus, Thor, clash of the Titians etc., I guess this must mean something great. To put the icing on the cake, I was also called the son of the Most High, wow! I own this world, man! I am really excited!

So here are few facts I have been able to gather about my new status:

A god never fears what is to come, as a god I create my future. This means I can’t be afraid to take on my dreams. I have got what it takes to make them come true. My future is mine to create, I write my own story, so no ill-fated experience can stop me. I am god, my worries should be kneeling before me, my uncertainties should tremble at the hearing of my voice. I should be ruling over my thoughts and controlling my words while guarding jealously what I allow into my life.

A god has no room for negative thoughts, complaints and regrets. So friends with negative words and feedbacks better watch out, you all may have to go. I shouldn’t be complaining about anything, I should be decreeing and watch them come to pass. And regrets? Na not me, I should give my best at all times, really it is beneath a god to be ordinary, so as a god, if I am going to do anything, it would sure be my best efforts.

I have the power to heal, to love and to empower others. What good is power if others can’t feel it? Being god means I have to impact on others, show love like never before, heal the brokenhearted and empower the powerless. Touch lives through my words, change lives through my actions, be a blessing to others as I become blessed beyond words after all I am a god, I am blessed already.

I have powers to set goals, to take on new challenges and to fulfill purpose. Like seriously, I should have purpose right? Not just waking, eating and sleeping like some animal, I should have something more to me than just existing. Being god won’t be interesting without having challenges to use my superpowers on, so yes I know there will be challenges, bring them on life, I have what it takes to win every battle and even when I fall short of winning it is not that I failed, It is just a setback and comeback is inevitable.

Being a god is not going to be easy I know, but I think it is something I will have to get used to, keep learning more about and never giving up on my superpowers. I know I have so many superpowers that I need to get a hang of but I can assure you, I will, I am already on the right path. My Father is the Most High, He is got me covered and you know what, I am going to build a better relationship with Him.

You are a god too but are you ready to start acting like one?

I Just Realized I am god

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Does God Prefer Polyester or Denim?

I used to be so judgmental about the way some people dressed. Not long ago, I thought that I couldn’t wear jeans while I was teaching at a conference, but my son said to me, “Do you really think that God anoints polyester more than denim?”

It took some things like that to shock me into the realization that I was just holding on to a religious attitude when God wanted me to freshen up my look in order to reach more people.

Sure, it’s good to dress nicely when we go to church. But the bottom line is, we shouldn’t be so focused on our outward appearance that we lose sight of our main goal: developing a close, personal relationship with God.

To sum up the complex matter of God’s desires, as we can understand them, we can look to one word: relationship. – Wesley Baines

God simply wants us to fellowship with Him, which means communicating with Him throughout our day just like we do with someone who’s our close friend or family member. He doesn’t care about the outward appearance, only real relationship.

Spend time with Him, being grateful for what He’s done and is doing in your life. Have a real relationship with Him.

Prayer Starter: God, help me to have Your attitude about outward appearance. Help me not to judge others who don’t dress the way I think they should, and help me to develop a strong inner relationship with You.

Does God Prefer Polyester or Denim?

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How to Bring Your Dreams to Life

There is nothing quite as empowering as the moment you realize you have reached your dreams.

Sometimes we can allow our excuses and self-limiting beliefs to prevent us from setting our dreams and goals as high as we truly desire in our hearts. There are hundreds of reasons we can tell ourselves about why we will never actually achieve what it is we are yearning for. It could be we feel we don’t have the time, money, strength, or support. Perhaps we believe we aren’t smart enough, talented enough, or good enough to have what we dream about. Maybe it’s because we are overwhelmed, or we believe our dream is an impossible undertaking.

When we live life believing we can’t reach our goals, we will prove ourselves right every time. Not only can we lose that sense of hope and passion, over time we may stop dreaming altogether.
The truth is we are all deserving of success and happiness. We are meant to live fully and experience what life has to offer. When we stay on the journey of pursuing our dreams and goals, we receive opportunities to learn valuable life lessons that help us see anything is possible.

Years ago, I dreamed of doing work in the world that would help empower others to believe in who they are. I knew and felt firsthand how debilitating it is to not believe in yourself. I wanted to somehow help others see their potential and true essence. I started out with a desire to create a resource that parents and educators could use to help instill a sense of empowerment in children. That was my initial goal. It turned out that this dream involved countless goals. Over the course of nine years I published eleven books with the intention, the messages would resonate and help others believe in themselves. Each of these projects was an enormous undertaking. The creative process involved many months of dedication and patience. Most of the projects took well over a year to create. I had to meet thousands of small goals on the journey to reach my original dream.

I had no idea how much time, effort, and perseverance it would require to reach my initial vision. I’m pretty sure if I had known it all before I put my dream in motion, I would have been too overwhelmed to take that first step. When we look at all of the steps and unknowns involved in reaching our dream, we can very quickly lose focus. The bigger the dream, the more daunting it can feel. Often this feeling of ‘overwhelm’ can prevent us from ever taking that initial step.

Over time, I have come to see that my life has been enriched because I have pursued my dreams and goals. Having the willingness to consistently show up and take a step forward is what has helped me truly believe in myself.

7 Proven Strategies To Transform Your Dreams And Goals Into Reality

Here are the 7 proven strategies I utilize to transform my dreams and goals into reality.

Strategy #1
Have fun setting your goals. Imagine how you want to feel when you reach them. Step into that feeling as though it was already a reality. Visualization is a powerful tool to help you know where you are headed. When we know where we are headed, it is easier to trust our instincts and stay on our path that’s aligned with our truth.

Remember to make your dreams and goals BIG, and create visual reminders of what they are. Keep those reminders close by. You will need them when you hit your stopping place and need to be reminded ‘why’ you started out and ‘why’ you don’t want to quit.

Strategy #2
Focus on taking baby steps in the direction of a goal. Instead of worrying about how many steps it will take, give yourself permission to simply take one step at a time.

Strategy #3
Write your goals down. Start with a monthly plan for what you want to focus on. Then create a weekly and daily snapshot of what you will work on — make sure your plan is realistic and attainable.
When you move all of the details from your mind onto paper (or computer), you end up spending less time overthinking and worrying about all of the many tasks and projects you have to do. Spend a bit of time each month downloading your game plan. Then instead of wasting a whole bunch of time fretting, you can use that time to actually get stuff done.

Strategy #4
Commit to allotting some time each day where you ‘laser focus’ in on completing one small task related to your weekly or monthly game plan. Consistency is key. When we spend too much time looking at the big picture, we can get overwhelmed and forget where to start. Know it is okay just focus on the one small thing at a time. Dream creation is a journey, not a race.

Strategy #5
Talk about your dreams with the special people in your life to create lots of energy around what it is you are doing. When you keep your dreams hidden, it is way easier to leave them in the dark and never bring them to light. When we have people behind us who know what our big dreams are, they become our support team. They are the ones we turn to when the journey gets discouraging and we need people we trust to remind us ‘why’ we ever started in the first place.

Strategy #6
The road to reaching our dreams is often bumpy — that’s normal, it’s not meant to be smooth and overly easy. The bumps are where all of our rich learning and opportunities exist. We may question ourselves (often) and we may feel vulnerable and discouraged. We may even be tempted to work ourselves to the point of burnout to try to combat all that is hard and uncomfortable.
When the journey feels overwhelming, that’s usually the first sign we need to take some time out for ourselves. Make a serious pact with yourself to NOT become so laser focused that you lose your joy in the journey.
Regular self-care is a mandatory part of bringing your dreams to life. Know you can take regular breaks to regroup and recharge and you won’t actually get behind. Recharging your batteries gives you a renewed sense of energy and passion you can put to good use. We can hit the restart button at anytime — a much better alternative than quitting or losing our faith in the dream itself.

Strategy #7
Remember to celebrate the achievement of each mini-goal along the way. This feeling of excitement and gratitude will create the momentum and confidence to help you feel like you will reach your BIG dream. Remind yourself often that turning your dreams into reality is not a race — it is a journey. Celebrate and enjoy your journey as much as possible, and above all be kind to yourself through it — you will thank yourself later.

A couple years ago, I had the opportunity to be in the same room with five of the children who inspired the characters in my children’s empowerment books. It was a surreal experience. The children were gathered together to take part in an esteem-building workshop. The books I created, that they inspired, were resources in the program. In that moment, I suddenly realized I had actually reached my dream. It became very apparent to me then that the journey of reaching our dreams is the most memorable part — so enjoy each step as much as possible and make your dreams as big as your heart desires.

On the journey to reach the goals you set, you build yourself up. When you experience what you are capable of first hand, you continue to create dreams that will ensure a full, happy, and satisfying life journey. When you turn your ‘impossibles’ around, it has a way of opening up the world and allowing you to see your limitless potential.

This is an adapted article from Emily Madill’s book, ‘Fall In Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time’ .

How to Bring Your Dreams to Life

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Do People Change?

This is one question many of us would have asked ourselves many times, with decisions over friendship, relationship, colleagues and family requiring constant need for reassurance. Really do people change?

From the religion point of view, it is believed that when you become a believer you put away old sinful behaviours and become a new person. The Bible actually emphasized that old things pass away and all things become new. Is this true of what we have come to know? How realistic is it for someone to turn a new leaf? Especially when some consider the way we are as our nature, so if this is true then can nature change?

Some few days back, I was with my four years old son and somehow he felt I had offended him, so he decided he wasn’t playing with me again. At first, I felt it was just a 4year old kidding around. So I tried getting his attention with an apple, which happens to be his favorite fruit but he refused. Still surprised, I tried teasing him but he was just blank. Who could have taught this little boy ‘Malice 101’? I used to be like that too though that was long time ago (I think), could it be something genetically transfered? Eventually, I had to apologize and slowly he became lively again. My point in all these, is that attitude, character or behavior starts to form at a very tender age, reason it is called nature, and somehow would become who we are as we grow older. If some attitudes are learned, while others are genetically transfered, then can something so intertwined like this change? Note: I am not trying to give you reasons not to want to change!

The desire to change is not enough to bring about change, not for love, not for religion, not for regret…

Change is said to be the only constant thing in life, it will happen with or without our consent. But with people there is always this mistaking of suppression or manifestation for change. I will like to share with you instances people term as change in others and what they really are:

1. Change by New Believe or Faith or Resolution

This is a change by choice, meaning the people involved voluntarily opt to change some things just to fit into a new lifestyle. This kind of change cannot be sustained over a long period of time without an external help. You don’t just raise your hand and confess some words and then become a changed person. Yes, you may be able to suppress who you are for some few weeks but not forever. Change by faith or believe is only sustainable when you have an external help (such as the Holy Spirit or friends who share your view around you ) constantly reminding you of the decision you have made (John 12:16). No wonder, you see people become born-again today and few months after they are gradually back to their old ways.

2. Change by Love

Love is the most beautiful thing with powers way out of the ordinary but even as powerful as love is, sustainable change is not assured. I will always tell people I counsel that if your marriage or relationship is based on “he/she will change” then you have failed even before you started. When it comes to love and relationship, people will promise heaven on earth, people will tell their partner whatever he/she wants to hear just to get what they want (have sex, peace of mind, marriage etc.). However, once they have what they want, they gradually warm their way back to their old ways. The best love can get is a lover that hides his/her old ways, suppressed though but still there and anything (fight, worries, money, discontent etc.) can trigger it.

3. Change by Wealth

It is always funny to me when someone tells me, ‘Mr. A has changed because he is rich now’. No Sir! Money doesn’t change people, it only brings out (manifestation) what the person has been suppressing because he was poor. So also lack of money doesn’t make man evil, it only brings out the evil the man has been suppressing. If lack of Money makes man evil then almost everyone on the street will be evil. Riches or lack of it is like catalyst, it (makes manifest) forces out into open what someone has been hiding, the true nature. Money doesn’t change people, money makes manifest!

Change requires more than making promises or crossing the heart, there has to be a third party involved; a being, a status, a personality constantly reminding us of the choice we made.

4. Change by Regret

Many of us can attest to it that we have changed so many things over time because at a point in time we have got burnt. Naturally, we learn more from our own mistakes and we are most likely to want avoid making same mistake all over again. That’s why it is often believed that when you correct a child with punishment, you have a high probably of moulding the child as desired. This is also the premises on which corrective facilities are built (jails). However, it is not 100%, as it is difficult to change nature, especially if it involves urge, desire and greed. When people get caught they are likely to hold back for a while but if it is something propelled by urge or greed, they are most likely going back there.

5. Change by Status

When status changes, some things just become beneath you or beyond you and this can definitely lead to some attitude being suppressed and eventually lost (change). Unlike what riches do, status adds a little bit of responsibility and this can go a long way to change people. But note that what status does first is to suppress not change immediately, it is only when an attitude has been suppressed for too long that it leads to permanent change.

My Conclusion

Do people change?

Yes! People change but most people won’t, not that they don’t want to but because it is who they are and they can’t just wish that away. The desire to change is not enough to bring about change, not for love, not for religion, not for regret. Change requires more than making promises or crossing the heart, there has to be a third party involved; a being, a status, a personality constantly reminding us of the choice we made. Change won’t happen overnight no matter how committed someone is to it but with gradual suppression of what we are, we can become something new.

However, if wealth is what you are waiting for to become a changed person, trust me that won’t happen because wealth would only bring out those other things that lack of wealth has been able to suppress and the truth is if you are a bad person wealth would only make you worse.

Never base your relationship decisions on ‘hope that someone will change’, if you cannot cope with the worst someone can throw at you, then you have no business signing “forever” with the person. Whenever, you look at someone, it is best you see them for who they are and not who you hope they would be. Life has shown that there is a higher probability they remain who they are or even worse, than to change into what you hoped they will be.

Do People Change?

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The Waiting Time

I perceive that most of our single girls don’t really know what waiting (singleness) time is all about. What the time should be used for, how much they can invest in themselves at this time and how productive they can be at this time. Little wonder, some jump from one relationship to another at this time or find themselves under pressure to do things they would normally not do.

Your waiting time is the best time for you as a lady to develop yourself. Most ladies these days are desperate to get married ( due to their age and maybe pressure from family and friends), to a certain extent, this is understandable, if you have been at this stage before you would know how difficult families can be but in spite of the pressure you should ask yourself, ‘what am I bringing to the table, what can I offer as a wife?’ Most wait for years jumping from one platform on social media to another, all in searching of a man (it is no longer man searching), putting the cart before the horse, it doesn’t work that way! You have to develop yourself first that’s what your waiting is meant for.

Bible promised every man a woman that is compatible unto him, a woman that will be able to help him in his God given assignment. Does God plan that some remain single forever? I am not sure but I think the answer is NO! However, reality has shown us that most are single and most will remain single because they major in minor; they leave the most important things and focus on the least important ones. To find a man is the easiest thing to do but to find a lasting relationship requires a lot more. Men who are goal getters always look for women who are capable of holding together goals and can manage success. Are you that kind of woman? And if you are that kind of woman, are you willing to let go your ego and submit to love and not fortune?

If you are waiting then you should be able to develop yourself to become an helper, a confidante and an asset to the home. The fear of most men is ending up with a liability. For a lady, self development is key to not being a liability, unless she want to be wife number 4 or 5 or end up as one rich man’s trophy wife. When you don’t have anything to offer even if God is telling a brother about you, that brother will most likely rebuke the vision because nothing about you says you are marriageable. On the other hand when you prepare yourself and you are an asset, if God speaks once, the brother hears Him twice or more because there is a reason to you.

You are like tree, no matter how attractive the leaves are, it will only remain relevant if it bears sweet fruits. What you bring to the table is most relevant not necessarily how much you earn at the moment but how much you have invested in yourself that makes you an asset and not a liability. Ladies please don’t rush into saying “I do”, don’t just agree because you are under pressure, be sure you have what it takes to be in a marriage, spend your waiting time right.

​The Waiting Time