People like to think that the opposite of fear is courage, when in fact the opposite of fear is faith. When you have faith to overcome your fears, you realize you had courage all along.” – Unknown

When you believe, you would come to realize that “nothing is impossible”.

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By selahsomeonetotalkto Posted in Legends

Why I Didn’t Give Up

Why I Didn’t Give Up

Hi Everyone, my name is Esther Damilola, first of all, I will like you to know I am not a writer, I am a computer scientists. I met Selahsomeone months back and I decided to share this, just to inspire others. I titled it “Why I didn’t give up” after re-writing my School certificate exams a couple of times. 

Many people tried to convince me, I couldn’t go beyond Secondary school and even close relatives started suggesting other alternatives to academics but I just wouldn’t give up for some reasons. Although repeating exams wasn’t my wish, on each occasion I could have sworn I had done my best but I guess life has its own ways of unfolding, however, I wasn’t ready to back down either. So I had no choice other than to keep going till I got the good result I was looking for. The major reason I kept going on was that I knew it deep down that the bad results were not a reflection of who I am, I am not a failure by any standard, however, if I stopped trying then I inevitably become a failure and that I wasn’t prepared for. I will decide how my story will end not some exams, examiners or examination board.

I also didn’t give up because I knew it was a decision that will affect the rest of my life. It has been my life long desire to work as an executive, designing programs that will touch on history, I needed higher education to get the basics to make my dreams come true. I have a desire to stand out amongst my mates, I want to be a leader and a person to be reckoned with. Passing the exams meant everything to me, my dreams and my future status.

Another reason I didn’t give up was my Mother. I wanted to make her happy, she is my all in all, number one amongst billions, my one and only, she was always there when everyone gave up, and I knew I had to repay her with a life of excellence. My mom is a faithful; even when my so called Father left us, she didn’t leave us to remarry though she was still very young. She gave up her feminine desires but she never gave up on us (myself and my two sisters) and I believe she deserves to be happy, celebrated and cared for. So keeping up with my dreams meant being able to give her all she deserves. God forbid but if I had to take the exams 50 times over, I will do it just to put smile on my mum’s face.

It you want it, you have to keep going till you have it! – Selahsomeone

Equally I wanted to prove some people wrong. I wanted to prove my dad wrong; he believes a girl child has little chance at success and for this reason he left us for another woman. I am determined to show him, I am more than an ordinary girl child, I am a person of dreams and desires, I can achieve whatever I set my mind to. I am a goalgetter and I would not give up till my dreams come true. Also to prove others who didn’t give me a chance wrong, relatives, past teachers, friends and other doubters. I didn’t give up and the truth is even though they were doubters, they became my motivation.
Finally, I didn’t give up because I wanted my life to be an inspiration to others. I want to be able to share my stories with people coming behind me and give them reasons to believe in themselves. I wanted the best of me to show forth, I wanted to be the light that leads the pathway and I still do, and going forward, I won’t still give up till I start to LIVE MY DREAMS. 

Dear readers, couple of fails are not the end of life, if you believe, you can make it. Please, don’t give up trying and i assure you, you will surely laugh at last!

​It Has Always Been Your Decision 

It has always been your decision

No matter who said what, It has always been your decision
You have made the choices and you are in this situation
People may have influenced your line of thought
But you could have looked back on what you have been taught
No matter how bad and demeaning the pressure is
You always had the chance to chose before it came to what it is

Many people will come along our way
Many of whom have lost their way
If we do not exercise caution we may join the trend
Forgetting we have a say on whom we choose to call a friend
We are responsible for our lives first before we care for two
Even when we are blinded by our feelings and needs too

Circumstances, most say led them to doom
But same circumstances had made others bloom
What we make of life is more of how we respond to life
Some challenges may seem insurmountable but that’s just life
When you go through history you will find people have survived worse
And what you are going through is just a phase in life’s posepose


No one can take the blame for the choices you have made but you
Bad character and uncontrolled childhood excesses kills prospects like flu
We have no sufficient reasons to end up as failures
In spite of the rough starts faith and hard work are often the best cues
There will be pressure from friends, family and life itself
But in the mist of all these pressures you will be wise to be yourself


You Deserve The Best

You deserve the best don’t let anyone make you think otherwise. You deserve to be loved, cherished, helped, understood and given second chances. You deserve to be successful, rich, famous, mentored after, listened to and taken serious. You deserve so much more than a man can limit you to and believe me you deserve the world.

Often people make you feel less deserving just to be able to control and manipulate you. They want you to see them as your all, your saviour, want you to think you are incomplete without them and not worthy of something better than they can provide. Here is the downside, most of these people might start up as meaning no harm but in limiting what you think of yourself they are actually causing more harm than they can imagine.

You have to believe you deserve the best first before you can experience the best. You need to see yourself as a complete being before you can enjoy meaningful relationship with others. People in your life are there to complement you not complete you, you are made in the likeness of a supreme being who is the definition of completeness. You don’t have to be in a forced relationship where you are always made to feel sorry, like a victim, a slave, a liability or like you are being done a favour. You can always get something better than you have now.

Life will make us cross paths with so many people, trust me, not all of them are meant to stay no matter how much we want them to but you know the good part, people who are best for us, who really want our happiness, who want to actually see us grow, would always find a way to stick around. Don’t give in to threats, don’t burge in the eyes of oppression, don’t let anyone coercive you, even when it involves someone you think you can’t leave without, always remember YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD.

It is not such a bad idea to be passionate, shy, considerate, amiable and even meek but in all of these don’t sacrifice your happiness because someone doesn’t feel secure about your growth. Reach out, go for what you desire, you have no limits, no bounds, no impossibilities, no constraints, you have everything you need within you, dig deep and you will realize you can do so much more. You are as complete as any other successful person you know, whoever comes your way is a complement, treat them as such and value their contributions but above all appreciate who you are, get the best for yourself because after all said and done You deserve the best.


Liar’s Corner

Liar’s Corner

It is said that, “a good liar must have a good memory”. This is indeed true because lying is a big task. It is born from hasty generalisation, assumptions, exaggeration and unnecessary make-believe. For one not to be caught, he/she needs to recall every history of lies told to a person or in a situation so, it can be built upon and adequately updated. Believe me, this is not an easy duty. So, I concur fully to that nugget for liars.

Most liars live in a world of fear and adjustments. They hardly notice or accept it though. Even when he is looking so calm in appearance while explaining his ordeal or convincing you about a deal, he is undergoing series of calculations and adjustments inside of him. His thoughts counter each other… he’s studying your actions and noticing your responses to know if you believed his last statement or not and how well he can continue to bamboozle you or shroud his last flaw. It is such a complex world for them. However, is it really needed?

Nothing tarnishes one’s personality more than when he is found to be dishonest. It takes just one lie to have all the truth you have ever told questioned. It ruins relationships, business opportunities and even one’s integrity. Someone who has never met you might not trust you because of your track records of lies that has widely spread; that can hinder so many opportunities untold. Your report, analysis, personal history and so on, does not have to sound interesting all the time. Just say it as it is! If you do not get an applause in the end, never mind… you got an integrity boost instead. Another badge of trust got added to your personality chest.

Telling a lie for a good reason doesn’t make it the truth and doing wrong with good intentions doesn’t make it right. When trust is betrayed, nothing else really matters. -Selahsomeone

It does not take a good lying technique to thrive in business or a relationship. It takes good strategy and communication skill. “If you don’t cheat, you won’t make profit”, who’s theory is that? Develop a good business strategy, get a good location, be appealing to your target market, be friendly and do not compromise your quality in goods and services… your business is going to soar. “My spouse/ parent never believes me until I lie”. Are you for real? Why not keep up with the truth? When loved ones find your words and the reality to be consistent, they will come to terms with your honesty, eventually you would become more appreciated and your bond would grow stronger.

There is no reason good enough to lie. Consider your options again… a safe route is staring at you in the face. Exploit it! Relieve yourself from the stress of internal clumsiness. Make the world a more reliable place to live in. Speak the truth always.



It is true that every normal being posses the ability to do one thing or the other, but do you know that despite the possession of this ability, there are some factors that want you to throw your ability or abilities as the case maybe into the a flaming incinerator.  

The greatest factor is FEAR! Most people give room for fear in the best place of their life, and this would make them shrink themselves; this would make them stop the rolling ball from doing what it was created to do, just to avoid what might happen in the process, such as rejection, condemnation etc. There are a lot of things that could happen if you take a stride, you could slip, the sole of your feet might get punctured by a nail or you could even hit your leg on a stone, but if you consider these possibilities strongly, you might never take a step, you might never move in life. 

My dear reader, there is a clear difference between “I wish I did” and “Thank God I did” and the ball is in your court to choose which statement you want to end your life with. 

The second factor is Low Self-esteem. Low self-esteem is when you see little of yourself, when you think the ‘top’ or the ‘best’ is not meant for you, Zig Ziglar said “It is only when you start seeing the ‘good’ in you, that’s when others will see the ‘best’ in you”, that is, you are in the position to set the ball rolling by never looking down on yourself. 

“It is only when you start seeing the ‘good’ in you, that’s when others will see the ‘best’ in you”

Lack of Boldness: This is the school mother of FEAR, the inability to express your feelings, emotions, mind set, thoughts, ideas and all sorts. Now tell me, you have a talent given to you by a Supreme Being, and the next thing you could do is to give it all up because you are shy? No, that’s not right, you can’t do that. Why not start reading motivational books and articles online, on the grave and unredeemable consequences of not been bold as brass. Watch T.V shows sharing outmost experiences on the regret of not having faith in themselves when they were supposed to be. 
These three factors works hand in hand, when you don’t allow them, no one can drag you down, be like the Aloe leaf, and stay strong. I am sure you should be able to change your inability to ability; it is just a matter of determination and focus.           

Post By Guest Writer

Kajopaye Gbenga



Love is Unconstitutional But Trust is Earned

I was talking to a friend, a young lady, and she said to me, “Selah, if he loves me then he ought to trust me”. At first I said ” sure!” but on second thought asked myself, how realistic is that?

I understand many relationship texts, speakers and writers are of the opinion that love and trust should go in the same sentence but in reality, it rarely works like that. We generally want to expect a lover to also trust but here is the twist, when someone is really in love with you, there is every tendency that the person becomes a ‘little’ jealous, do you agree? (I know I am but not obsessed, though). If you agree, then you must also agree that the element of jealousy, no matter how small it is, has an underlining root called “trust issues”. 

Now let’s agree on one more thing, love is unconditional (I am sure you are nodding your head now), yes! true love should be unconditional, not based on materials, assets, body structure, personality, status or gifts (even though these are major factors we have to consider before agreeing to marriage). You can love someone the first time you set your eyes on them, that is the nature of love, it is a gift you give to someone else most times in hope that they give it back to you, using same measure but not always necessarily so. However, trust on the other hand, has to be earned and most times after it is earned, it can also be lost. Quick example, a mother loves her kids, but some times you hear her say ” I don’t trust my kids with my phone”, and if you ask her why, you will find out it is based on her past experiences with the kids. Trust is based on individual’s past experiences and current events, and to be trustworthy partners must prove their worthiness.

How to build trust?

1. Good communication: Talk to one another about everything. About the guy eyeing you in your office, about the new friend you just made, about the lady in your class who is always chatty around you and so on. Be as open as possible, in fact be an open book to your partner. You don’t have to necessarily talk about your exes in details, in fact most guys don’t like that ‘talk’ and might even fuel trust issues but be as open as humanly possible. No keeping secretes, be transparent.

Scenario: Somehow a lady in a perfect relationship mistakenly kissed a friend (guy) in a moment of adrenaline rush. Now she is wondering if she should tell her boyfriend about this mishap or keep it to herself? 

2. Share itinerary: Exchange daily itinerary, let him or her have a rough idea of where you will be at a particular time, not saying everywhere you want to stop at but at least an idea of what your day is going to look like. Most girls want to be able to say, “it is 5pm, my guy should be at the gym or church rehearsal” and same goes for guys. This is not your guy or girl monitoring your movement, it is about him or her being able to vouch for your movement.

3. Be truthful: The quickest way to have someone trust you is to be truthful at all (most) times. Lies might save a face some of the time but the truth will save a face all the time. Let your “A” be confirmed as “A”, if you know you are in a scenario where the truth can wreck more havoc, I always suggest silence. The easiest way to destroy a relationship is to build it on lies. Tell your partner the truth and whatever you know you can’t share with your partner, DON’T DO IT!

Scenario response: You need to understand who your partner is, how he or she responds to issues, best time to talk to him or her and how stable your partner is emotionally. These are the key factors that determine whether or not, you have to share. However, this predicament is avoidable, remember “whatever you know you can’t share with your partner, DON’T DO IT!”

4. Be Yourself: The only way you can be consistent is if you are yourself. Don’t try to be what or who you are not, if your partner finds fault, he or she would correct and probably be able to vouch for you but when you are fake, you become inconsistent and inarticulate. When someone is not articulate, people find it had to trust them. Even though they are telling the truth, their body language and inconsistencies keeps giving them off as lairs.

5. Have common friends: This honestly would prevent more than half of trust issues in relationships. Having private friends especially of the opposite sex can easily stir up trust issues. Even when there is really nothing to it, when you start spending more time with a person of the opposite sex who is not a common friend,  you obviously are given reasons not to be trusted. Whoever wants to be your friend and not the friend of your partner, is worth avoiding. 

Scenario conclusion: Not telling your partner means you are keeping a secret and once you are able to keep one away from him or her, you will eventually keep many. However, sharing will get the load of guilt off you but here are the two possibilities 1. Your partner trusts you that you don’t hide things from him or her or 2. Your partner can’t trust you with person of opposite sex because another accident might happen again. It takes wisdom to do the right thing. An octogenarian once told me, if by accident you get your shirt stained with another lady’s lipstick, wash it off first then when you get home, you can joke about it with your wife, if not, any other way, won’t be a joke at all. Always apply WISDOM!


Keeping Your Dreams Alive

Dreaming is the easy part, if that was all it takes to be successful then success will be a piece of cake. – Selahsomeone

Dreams and aspirations are the foundation of success but our ability to keep these dreams alive, act on them, evaluate and correct our mistakes are how we build our success stories. 

Dreams are cool when we fantasize about them unfortunately cool fantasies don’t necessarily translate to real life success.

It is beautiful to have our dreams in our head/consciousness at all times but it is even more beautiful when we have them documented. This helps guide us on what next to do, how to go about it and keep us focus on what must be done. Have a personal notebook, write it down as it comes, go over it again and again, adjust as often as possible and update it to reflect times and trends. Let the book be your companion at all times, if possible wear your dream like a tag, so you do not forget what you want for yourself. A friend once told me, he had to get a wrist band that says “never give up”, just to keep reminding him not to give up on his dreams. Keep your dreams in clear view, a place where you will always see them and be reminded of what needs to be done. Keep your dreams in ink!

Giving life to your dreams is the only way to be assured of success, “it is said that we miss 100% of the shots we do not take”. – Selahsomeone

We should not wait for a perfect time to start working on our dreams, time can never be perfect. I believe in destiny, “what will be will be” but then I also believe in actions, “if you want to shape an iron, then you have got to keep hitting it while it is still hot”, meaning ‘what will be will be if we do not stop trying to be’. In spite of what you believe about destiny, you have to understand that you have to keep going at it, if you want it. Dreams that is left unattended to, is a nightmare in the making. You have to keep at it, pound the iron while it is still hot, over and over again. Go after what you want, overcome your fears with actions; just like a cold shower, the first splash of water is always the greatest challenge, once you get that part over with, the rest becomes easy. Take the first step!

The most hideous thing is to believe something cannot be done. Impossibility is a child of ignorance! Ask questions, meet people, widen your scope of knowledge, see things from other people’s perspective, be informed and see how you can project your own ideas better. Dreams are cool when we fantasize about them unfortunately cool fantasies don’t necessarily translate to real life success. We have to move our dreams from the fantasy land to the real world, if we want success. An idea that might seem impeccable in fantasy land might be an epic fail in real world, if care is not taken. No matter how beautiful your idea is, make enquiries to see how practicable and sustainable it is. Meet people!

Dreams without plan is like wanting to build a house without a pillar. Castle in the air sounds like fun but unfortunately there must be an anchor for anything to stand.

Quitting and starting afresh is the way a coward deals with challenges but the brave pauses, reaccesses the situation and make informed corrective decisions. You can’t keep abandoning dreams halfway because of startup’s challenges and expect to end up at the door step of success. If you have dreams, make rooms for fails and stomping blocks. It won’t be as smooth as it is on paper, you have to be ready for the unexpected and when it comes you would be require to revisit your plan and adjust accordingly, not quitting. It is said that if you are tired of starting all over again then you have to stop quitting halfway. Most times it seems there is no way to move ahead but trust me, that is the exact time you need to move ahead. The darkest part of the night is always just before the break of dawn. Don’t be a coward!

If you desire water you don’t wait in the desert, you look for where the river flows. We can’t have what we desire till we position ourselves where we need to be. To win a race, you must at least be on the track. As beautiful as going it alone is, without having the right knowledge, people, resources and information, alone will most likely lead to nowhere. We must position ourselves to take what we want, leaving our comfort zone to a place where we must be, if we want to be where we want to be. This will come with new challenges, new enemies, new friends, new perceptions, most won’t be comfortable but if the dream has to stay alive, sacrifices have to be made. Get uncomfortable being comfortable!
It is our job to keep our dreams alive; people, times, troubles, challenges, disappointments and life in general will try to dissuade us but we have to stand our ground if we must excel; that’s why it takes standing out to become outstanding.

Recreate Yourself Every Time

Evolution creates a baby but to be a man, a boy has to recreate himself.Whoever you are today is the creation of who you were yesterday.

A successful man is a man of different phases and who at each phase recreates himself to not only survive but to excel. Ask an old person, they have so many tales to tell, of times and events, how opportunities were lost and how unforetold doors were opened, how time stood still in times of hunger and how they sped during fun times, how being broke wasn’t fun and how being rich comes with its headaches; phases of life filled with both regrets and rejoice. Nonetheless, those who had more regrets than rejoice are often those who failed to recreate themselves regularly along the way.

I will share with you two of such stories and I will hope that you will pick up few lessons to better inform you:

There was this man in the 80s, a young brilliant telephone technician. This was the days of landlines (cable, poles and phonebox). This man was very popular amongst the rich who could afford the luxury of telephones and he charged them heavily. This man was living on top of the world, two vehicles (a convenience car and a truck), a house of his own and a happy family. It was all fun for this man till 2003 when GSM came to Nigeria, people started abandoning telephone boxes in exchange for mobile handsets. By the 2004, this brilliant phone technician had lost his relevance; no more installation works or quick fixes. By 2010, he had sold all his assets to feed his family and now he is just a nobody struggling to make ends meet.

Also in the same 80s was another man, a Volkswagen (beetle) automechanic. He was the mechanic of the educated and the creams of the society. This was the time when owning a Beetle meant you are a graduate with a beautiful job. This man made the most of the situation and like the phone technician, he bought two cars, built a lovely house and a beautiful family. By the early 90s, Japanese cars became the new toast of rich and gradually the numbers of Beetles started going down. This mechanic saw the trend immediately and sold one of his cars to raise money for a 3months’ course in Japan on “how to fix Japanese cars”. Most of his fellow mechanics thought that was a dumb idea and a complete waste of money, as they felt cars are cars, German or Japanese. However, by early 2000, there were very few Beetles left and the few left where owned mostly by the poor who can barely afford to maintain them. This mechanic had recreated himself, he was still the toast of the rich who now drives Japanese cars and also a star amongst his colleagues who now had to come to him for training on how to fix Japanese cars.

A successful man is a man of different phases and who at each phase recreates himself to not only survive but to excel. 


1. Life is dynamic, ever changing, if you want to stay relevant then you must continue to recreate yourself.

2. Comfort zone is great but it could also be a dangerous zone when you stay there for too long. 

3. Whatever field you find yourself, always look ahead and improve yourself accordingly. Acquire knowledge at high cost if that’s what it takes so you don’t pay the ultimate price in the future.

4. People with lesser ambition may call you over ambitious, don’t let that distract/deter you, it is better to standout than to be unnoticed.

5. Your life can only get better when you strive to be better. The quality of your input will determine the quality of your output.

Your life is a story in writing, a story only you determines how it will end. Create, recreate and re-recreate yourself!



Everyone Has Got A Price

We live in a society where people are quick to criticise other people, events or actions as long as they are not involved. Mind you, they may be engaged in something worse or close but as long as its not the present subject matter, they cast their stones on the accused without remorse. Most times, when situations occur, its sympathizers and critics fail to keenly ask themselves what they would have done if they were involved in it or if they could have acted better. If tides change and a critic of yesterday becomes a victim today, what should we expect?

In politics, it is observed that the incumbency is always inadequate at the time of power transition. However, when new individuals assume office, their flaws are seen in no time on either the same basis or similar ones with which their predecessors were criticized. My point is, everybody has got a price – you might never know yours until its the asking price. People are faced with situations daily. They have to make decisions, take actions and follow them through using methods they regard best to enable them cope with the situation. This is greatly influenced by their habits, personalities, etc. whether good or bad. When the result of these decisions become publicly known, a third party would learn from it by seeking better solutions to give him/her an edge if quizzed with such in the nearest future.

Passing judgement is easy anyone can do that but it takes compassion to understand while only the wise ones remember to live the lessons!

This develops one’s character and standards as the observer does not only seek for reasons to condemn but also unbiasedly analyses the situations and learns from it. People succumb to pressure when their charisma and values have been overpowered by it. Either in business or relationship, temptations will come. Being broke or lonely could be the asking price for a neighbour to do weird things. When exposed, they are castigated for not doing the right thing. Some people might even take out time to school them on how they could have acted better. If the same situation is redefined or intensified, these teachers mess up like no other. Wonder why? Its because they never learnt from the predicament of their neighbour; they only judged it.

In the days of Jesus, when the adulteress was caught without a defense, the perfect judge heard her case but denied her a sentence. I guess that was because He knew that a judgement on her would mean an equal judgement on everyone who was present either at that instant or a later future. We will all sell at a price, but what is your own price and because someone sold at a price less than we think we can sell doesn’t make them cheap, it only confirms they are human and they have a price.

We will all sell at a price, but what is your own price and because someone sold at a price less than we think we can sell doesn’t make them cheap, it only confirms they are human and they have a price.

Instead of magnifying people’s failures, show empathy and understanding, then you learn from them and step up your game. Increase the amount on your price tag so that on the bazaar of life, your shame will never be bought.


How do you want to die? 

How do you want to die? 

A quick look at today’s elders gives an insight to how the future of today’s youths will be. Elders are known for their stories; they have had an experience for almost every situation or question they are faced with. When given enough time, they reflect on their past, reminiscence on events that affected their lives and often times, contribute to their current state of living. The stories they share sometimes sound like movie scripts because of the intrigues, suspense, sadness and joy it entails, and not forgetting the vibrancy with which they shared them. A salient truth embedded in those details however, is that those stories reveal how the narrator spent his or her life. 

Their lives came in phases; childhood, teenage years, youthful stage then adulthood. Each phase was splitted into a time frame of twenty four hours a day as we have in modern times. Some of these elders, started out as privileged young chaps who got whatever they wanted or sought for opportunities to live their dreams. Either through formal education, skill acquisition or business orientation, they stepped out on a right footing in their youthful years. 

So, everything done has its place on the sand of time and would amount to ones biography someday. – Oluwatosin

As the phase concluded and the next commenced, they continually expanded their horizon in search for opportunities, knowledge, information and greener pastures. Thess exploits came along with exposure into different areas and it helped their choices in life decisions. When sharing their autobiographies as elders, they remember the years of troubles, adventures and celebrations. They re-live the moments of achievements with pride and would willingly set themselves as examples. 

There are also elders who would rather lie than expose their faults and regrets. For reasons which they wish never occurred, they lost opportunities, blew up the bridges to their success and a chance to have a better life for themselves and future generations. Instead of leaving a good legacy for their offspring, they depend on them for survival and serve those who they should have tutored. Elders like these, live everyday in regret, aggression and secret shame of how much of their lives have been wasted. 

A common gift from both category of elders to today’s youth and children is the nugget of how life should and should not be spent. As in the days of old, every man has got his life in phases with a fixed amount of time allocated to each. So, everything done has its place on the sand of time and would amount to ones biography someday. Spending time is easy but accounting for it can either result in pride or pain. A good number of the world’s population would rather live long but the question is what memories are we building?

What scares me are not the mistakes I have made everyone is guilty of that but what scares me are those mistakes I have covered up because I know someday I will have to make reference to them and when that day comes, I hope I have a good explanation. – selahsomeone

So I ask you, how do you want to die? Fulfilled or fool-filled?