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People like to think that the opposite of fear is courage, when in fact the opposite of fear is faith. When you have faith to overcome your fears, you realize you had courage all along.” – Unknown

When you believe, you would come to realize that “nothing is impossible”.

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Something you should know about Friendship

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Something you should know about Friendship

Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. For there to be true friendship, it has to be mutual. There are different circumstances that bring people together but somehow you realize some people just click with your spirit self and “boom” you become friends.

So do you have a friend?

It is the era of globalization and there are no boundaries to friendship however the fundamental requirement still remains the same “mutual affection”; the desire to excel or succeed together, to provide an anchor for, to encourage, to keep secrets and have each other’s back.

The beauty of friendship is when the affection is reciprocated. If it is one sided, sooner or later, it will hit the rock. An adage says “if we are eating together then we should both have something to eat”. There is a limit to how much an individual can condone a leech, at a point the blood sucker would have to go. Same goes for friendship that is one sided.

So at a point you will have to decide if what you have is a friend or a leech.

What kind of friend are you?

Unfortunately, these days friendship has been reduced to hanging out, getting drunk or high together, competing for girls/boys, backstabbing, swindling, chatting on social media, ‘famzing’ and the likes. These have made many regret meeting others in the name of friendship.

Some people delight in spreading bad news about their friends while others on hearing good news about their friend, they just want to do something to out shine that good news. The whole essence of friendship becomes defeated if friends don’t have one another’s best interest. Unfortunately, it is not easy walking it alone without friends. Success is easier when you have like minds with similar vision around you; the more the merrier.

No matter the number, 2,3,4 or more, being friends with someone means you should desire to see them do well, become better and get to top together. That’s what friends are for!

What is expected of a real friend?

A real friend asides from reciprocating the affection, first and foremost wants to see you excel, especially when nobody believes in you a true friend does. Even when he/she doesn’t fully understand what you are up to a true friend never leaves your side.

A true friend provides you with someone you can confide in. There are times we have to do things that we probably don’t want our family to know about, a friend provides backup in such instance. It is often easy to talk to a friend than any one else when real decisions have to be made.

A friend provides the first external support when you have an idea to pitch. In fact when you have a new product to introduce to the world, your friends are your first test market or subjects. If you are my friend I expect you to be my number one fan and vise versa. Friends support each other and help sell each other’s idea to the world. A friend is like your other voices.

Also consequently as a fan, a friend is expected to also be an honest critique with the aim of making you better. Being a critique mean being critical and objective about their analyses of you. Friends should be able to correct each other without fighting. An when there is a fight, friends should be able to move pass it but should not stop correcting one another.

A real friend is rare, so if you have one, trust me, you are lucky. Keep he/her/them and always reciprocate their affection. Success is easy when you have someone to hold your hands as you run the race of life. However, if you don’t have ‘true’ friend(s) yet, it is never too late to make one. Choose people whose vision aligns with yours, be selfless and open as much as possible. It may take time to fully trust but somehow if you click with someone, other things will seamlessly fall into place.

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How to overcome Enemies’ Plots (Abide)

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Abide

When you prosper; some will tend to change and be against you. Yet the scriptures say, ‘when the way of a man is pleasing unto God, God makes his enemies to be at peace with him. Is the Bible divided? No!

Jesus said, ‘offences must surely come’. He also said, ‘the prince of this world, devil, came to Him and found nothing in Him. Of Isaac, it was written, that the philistines envied him. Same goes for the 3 Hebrew children, who were envied and thrown to the fire. Mordecai, was also despised and was to be slaughtered by the enemy. As great as Elijah was, at a time he fled for his life on account of Jezebel the Prostitute’s threat.

The threat is real..when the threat becomes reality..we either sink like the disciples were sinking or we survive and overcome by despising the circumstances and look unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our Faith. Heb 12:2. The devil is in the circumstance but God sits exalted over the flood as the book of Psalms 29:10 says..But in the Bible God seems to raise His standard against the enemy when it comes like a flood as Isaiah 59 noted only on one condition.. ’when we abide in Him and He in us’.

True we belong to Christ, so normally Abraham’s blessing should be ours. In John 15 the full meaning thereof of verse 5 is not ‘you can do nothing’ but rather without Christ we are nothing. Let me expatiate a bit. John the Baptist was a great soul, I am not sure there was any prophecy he was going to be beheaded by the enemy but when he was in prison in that exponential situation, he doubted Jesus. Someone who had said behold the Lamb became someone asking, should we expect another Messiah?

Remember ‘looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith’ not the circumstances Though he was martyred am sure John the Baptist is in heaven. But at his point of doubting Christ,he still belonged to Christ but he was not abiding in Christ just as Elijah did when he ran to save himself. Recall, they also killed James during the time the Apostles were fleeing for their lives.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit asks folks to run for their lives though, so it is permitted when led by the Spirit of Faith. Nonetheless, when Peter was put into the prison and was to be slaughtered, the Bible recorded that prayers was made strongly for Peter and an angel delivered him from their wicked hands.

God can still do wonders if we can summon courage by His grace beyond our circumstances and abide in Him.
Paul and Silas were to be killed. They despised that circumstance and had the gut to praise the Lord in that terrible situation. What happened next!?! The prison doors were flung open.

Indeed God abides in the praises of His people as psalms 22:3 says. Perhaps if the children of Israel had despised their circumstances and praised the Living God during their ordeal rather than complained, maybe their deliverance would have been quicker.

By praise i mean real praise and worship and real dedication to abiding in the word of God. Why did I say this? It is unnatural for fire to burn a plant or bush without such plant not being consumed. Yet God spoke in the fire. The fire was burning the plant or tree or forest yet it was not consumed. Trees are living just as humans. In Isaiah, God reckoned believers abiding in His love as trees of righteousness.
Isaiah 61;3 that is why when we pass through fire as Isaiah 43:2 says, we are not to be consumed by the heat or fire thereof.

There should be a shout of the King in the situation for they should acknowledge that the Lord is with them and abides with them. If we purposefully believe this and despise the situations (not easy though) just as Jesus did as reported in Hebrew 12:2 -who for the joy that was set before Him despised the shame of the cross, then and only then we are really abiding in Him.

The joy set before is the Joy of our salvation. It is more precious than any inheritance. By knowing Jesus or by belonging to Christ you can have many inheritances. Jesus fed lots of people but told the disciples, these people are with me because of what they stood to gain from Him, yet he fed them and so the devil has tricked some of us to believe that by we obtaining riches or prosperity we abide in Christ as it’s evident, we are receiving blessings from or building great houses for Him. Jesus had been quoted that without Him we can do nothing

So by all these outward manifestations only, the devil makes us to believe we are abiding in Christ because we could only do anything by Jesus as believers. However, the devil’s mission is to kill us, to suffocate us through bad experience or circumstances when they arrive, so he is satisfied with folks not understanding that the expression means without Christ, we are dead.

When prosperity comes and keeps multiplying and then we begin to skip morning devotions, we die little by little

We can’t hear that Living Voice from the mountain top again. How then can we cope when the fire of trials show themselves in sickness and tribulations? Remember the bush didn’t get consumed in Exodus because God was with the bush. God told Moses it was a holy ground. Remember when the 3 Hebrew children were thrown in to the fire…they despised the situation and worshipped God saying, if God would not help them they were ready to die in the fire, but what happened? There was hot fire but they were not consumed just as the bush in Exodus was not consumed for the Bible says, “and a fourth person was present in the fire and He was like the Son of God”. Meanwhile those who threw them to the fire were consumed by the heat thereof.

If there is a lifelong message I would like to pass to my friends and loved ones. It is this note i have painstakingly written; as you struggle and succeed in life, many will not wish that you overtake them or achieve rapid progress; they would wish for your downfall or even death in that case if such happens, one experiences the true meaning of becoming nothing. Thus, in order to be living and overcome these agents of the evil one, you must abide in God forever.

Jesus talked about different seeds that fell on different grounds. All those grounds are people, we are all sands, we had same seed, so the seed is the word of God. All Christians belong to God but only those whose hearts made the word flourish truly abide, they are the one who are more than conquerors.

That is who we are and should be.
The Bible says in 1John 5:18: the wicked one touches them not if they do not keep sinning. This tallies with old testament prophecy…touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm. In 1 John 2, the Bible addressed young folks as being strong because the word of God abides in them and because of this Word abiding (not just memorising) in them they have finally overcome the wicked one.

Many Christians will still die untimely death even though they make heaven because they don’t really understand John 15 :5 my prayer for us all is that we shall not die untimely death and we shall still make heaven in Jesus name. (Amen!)

The only untimely death that might be permitted of a christian is such as that of Paul who had the opportunity to have his life saved but yet, willingly of his own volition, desired the death of the righteous. Balaam in Numbers 23:10 wished a fake death of the righteous but Apostle Paul died a death of the righteous, dying for the sake of Christ intentionally despite numerous saving grace by the Holy Spirit.

May we abide in His love now and forever in Jesus name and may God increase our greatness and comfort us on every side in Jesus name

Written By

Eniola Salako

I cannot come and kill myself

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I cannot come and kill myself

“I cannot come and kill myself” If you are a Nigerian then you must have said these words at least a couple of times. It is a common clause we Nigerians use to excuse ourselves from hard work or seemingly less comfortable situations.

Back in School, I had this friend who was very fond of “these words”, in fact he said his own like this, “I cannot come and kill myself for myself by myself”. He got out of every situation saying these words and usually he just let things play out. It was a very good idea back then because he hardly got worried about anything; academics, being broke, relationship, school politics, etc. “Ko kan” (he was not bothered).

This went on for so long until he was so used to it that he didn’t push for anything. Not going extra mile, if an assignment was proving too difficult, Bros would not touch it, if a lecturer was harsh last class Bros would stop attending the class, he was turning back at every obstacle and breaking up relationships at every misunderstanding, I am sure if using the gents would require extra effort my friend would rather hold it in. He perpetually became lazy to live.

Eventually, the repercussions started coming; his grades nosedived, he was living his life like he was living a proxy and relationship wise he became what ladies call “chronic player” because he couldn’t commit to anything.

Two years ago when we spoke, he said, “looking back now, I realized my attitude back then in school cost me 4years of my life”. After we graduated (he only got certificate of attendance), he had to move to Ghana to start all over again. He said, “I am wiser now, I take everything serious, in fact some say I am too serious but the truth is I rather be too serious and make head way in life than just lay back and self destruct.

Are you guilty of using these words too as your get-out-of-jail ticket? Believe me, it can only work long enough till you realize you are headed no where. You can’t wish your troubles away, you would have to face them. You will have to earn what you desire, it doesn’t work any other way.

If you want to excel in your academics you will have to study

If you want to excel as a worker, you will have to do beyond what you are paid for

If you want to excel as an entrepreneur, you will have to work longer hours than your counterparts

If you want to have a beautiful family, you will have to cope with the worst of situations and lead by example

If you want to be a celebrated personality you will be ready to venture into things most people won’t, discover new grounds

And so on…

Layback attitude won’t get anyone anywhere, don’t self destruct because you don’t want to go the extra mile. There is a lot at stake, wishing it won’t cut it, you will have to work it.

I Would Have But…

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I Would Have But…

Many years ago in a beautiful village was a blind beggar who was pitied by everyone because he was blind from birth. This blind beggar, would wake up early in the morning and make his way to the gate of the main market in the village just in time for people going into market to give him alms then he would stay at the gate till they are returning from the market so he could collect from those who promised to give him on their way back.

One day a stranger who visits the village occasionally was also making his way into this market when he saw the blind beggar by the gate. He was filled with compassion and curiosity. So he made his way to the beggar, He gently touched the beggar

Stranger: Sir, I have noticed you at this gate for a while and I think you should have gotten enough to start something of your own.

Blind man: Yes! I should have but I am blind and I can’t do anything on my own. Only if I can see… (tears running down his face)

So the stranger handed him a bottle of water and told him to wash his face with the water before he sleeps that night.

Two years after, the stranger visited the village again. On his way to the market, he noticed the blind beggar was no longer there. “He is in the market working for his money”, the stranger thought. The stranger made his way into the market and got his goods.

On his way back, lo and behold, the stranger found the blind man still begging for alms. So he went to him again,

Stranger: Sir, can you see now? Did you use the water I gave you some years ago?

Blind man: Yes, I can see now then he paused, Oh! You are the kind man that restored my sight

Stranger: Yes! But I thought you said you needed to see so you can make your own money. Why are you still begging for alms?

Blind man: Yes, I said that but now that I can see, I would have stopped begging for alms if have someone to set me up on a business

“If you are looking for an excuse, you will always find one” – Unknown

How many times have you used these words just like the blind beggar “I would have but…”

We all have excuses not to do the needful but those who have been able to overcome these excuses have turned tests to testimonies.

“Excuses are the tools of the incompetent, used to build bridges to nowhere and monuments of nothingness.” Excuses are cheap, little wonder lazy people can afford it. Excuses change nothing, but make everyone feel better. The origin of every excuse is the failure to do something. Excuses, are nothing more, than a reason to fail. An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie; for an excuse is a lie guarded.

Do you find yourself making excuses when you do not perform? Shed the excuses and face reality. Excuses are the loser’s way out. They will mar your credibility and stunt your personal growth. – Alexander Pope

Thinks about those excuses you are making now just to avoid doing what is required to improve your business, actualize your beautiful ideas, protect your relationship and build your dreams, you would realize that they are baseless. Many people have gone from worse situations to do something awesome. Once your excuses are gone, you will simply have to settle for being awesome!

Disappointment

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Disappointment

Disappointment is part of life and how we handle it would go a long way in determining how we relate with others. One of the things I first learned about living is that disappointment is inevitable.

Some people will say, “when you put your trust in people what you get is disappointment”, well this is true but how can we live life without trusting someone? Yes, we should trust God but if we can’t trust humans we see how can we trust God we cannot see? Hence, my conclusion that disappointment is just part of life.

In a matter of speaking, you and I have also disappointed people before; our parents, friends, lovers and ourselves. Even though these acts might not have been deliberate, we just find ourselves not living up to the expectations of others, no matter how much we try. On this basis you will probably agree with me that anyone can disappoint and most times not intentionally.

We should be bound by our words, we should uphold whatever we give promise to do that is how it should work but life has also taught me that sometimes things can really really get out of control and we find ourselves where our words and promises become the least of our problems. Ultimately, we disappoint people who ordinarily we would do everything to put smiles on their faces.

Having understood that disappointment can come from anyone you included, so how do you manage disappointment:

  1. See the positives in everything: I think why being disappointed hardly gets to me is because I see the positives in everything. I believe to everything is a reason and not all reasons are comprehendible. So even when I see no reason why someone should disappoint me, I still tell my self, it is for the best. A mentor of mine once told me that there is good in bad and there is bad in good. So whether good or bad, every situation provides reason to be happy and sad (#deep).
  2. Always have a backup plan; When I make plans, I always give room for “what if”, hence, a backup plan. If you observe this too, disappointment won’t hit you too hard. Call it plan B or Plan 2, always ensure you have what to fall back on so you don’t hit the solid ground after a disappointment.
  3. Build on what you can achieve: My ground zero has always been based on what I can personally achieve, then I commit people to helping me from there. Invariably when their help ceases or doesn’t come I will still have my ground zero which is better than nothing. See whatever anyone wants to do for you as just the icing on the cake you baked with your sweat. So even if they disappoint, you still have your cake.
  4. Focus on the big picture: There is this big picture in my head of where I want to be and you know what? I have come to understand that it only takes my commitment and God’s grace to get there. Whoever helps along the way is God sent and whoever chooses to quit on me is just someone God grew tired of using while those who failed to help at all are just people God won’t use for me just to protect my dreams. What do you think?
  5. Have a big heart: Forgiveness used to be one of the most difficult things for me to do, unconsciously I find myself referring to wrongs people did to me and I acted it out. But I think I have grown pass that now. I have grown my heart to accommodate the good, the bad and the ugly without thinking of getting even. This wont happen in a day but as you grow in point number 4, it becomes a piece of cake.

Handling Attention From The Opposite Sex

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Handling Attention From The Opposite Sex

Attention from the opposite sex can be very tricky especially when you are in a stable relationship and many have lost what they hold dearly because of how they have managed these flings of attention and throw around care that often starts as harmless.

When does attention start to generate tension?

How should you react to excessive care from the opposite sex?

What can you do to ensure your relationship survive this temporary attention span?

How bad is friends with benefits?

Watch The TYs Show on Selahsgroup YouTube Channel for answers to these questions and lots more.

This talkshow is informative, inspiring, funny and down to heart. You should not miss this.

Watch now

A little Nicer

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A little Nicer

Being deserving of a thing is not measured by what you went through to get it but your understanding of what makes that thing precious; passion does that for people more than pain could ever do, build passion in people and not pain. – Selahsomeone

You don’t have to have all you want before you make impact in other people’s life; a smile, kind words, gentle touch, constructive criticism are few of the ways you can reach out. I know sometimes you just feel like letting out your frustrations but you don’t have to make a third (innocent person) party a victim of your outburst. Everyone has a burden, transferring yours to others would only cause a ripple effect.

Many say the world is crazy, the government is bad, our leaders are malicious but you know what I think? I think we are all a victim of our own ills. I have encountered so many difficulties in my life and to each of them has a face of someone who could have been nicer. (I hope I am making sense). A sadistic lecturer, a difficult boss, a backstabbing friend, a cheating date, an oppressing rich man/woman etc, all individuals that could have just been a little nicer but instead chose to be selfish, eccentric and egoistic like you and I often do.

It doesn’t hurt to make life comfortable for others in spite of going through a difficult time yourself. You shouldn’t delight in seeing others suffer. Because you had a rough start at your workplace or getting your degree or getting to stardom doesn’t mean you should inflict same on people coming up through you. If we go by “an eye for an eye” the whole world will soon go blind. Making it easy for people coming behind should be your topmost priority. Being deserving of a thing is not measured by what you went through to get it but your understanding of what makes that thing precious; passion does that for people more than pain could ever do, build passion in people and not pain.

You know that giggling dance you do on the inside when you read bad news about celebrities and affluent people, that’s not nice. No one deserves to be wished evil upon. You wonder why bad news sell more, well it is because deep down most of us are of the opinion that if we can’t be happy no one deserves to be happy. This has to change! We can all be a little nicer, celebrating the good in one another. Do you know that happiness can be passed on just as sadness is contagious? That is the ripple effect! Make someone happy and you will see how happy it will make you feel.

Even when you feel compelled to correct a wrong, be subtle about it, remember it doesn’t end there. Don’t ripple the waters of karma, correct with the right intentions not out of envy or vengeance. When you have to teach a lesson, let the blessings be obvious. Because you are on top today doesn’t make you a supreme being nor omnipresent, you are but a man, remember someone would fill that position in a short while… Be mindful of this and let it guide your everyday actions.

Be nicer even if it is just a little more than your usual. Go out of your way to do something for someone. Do you know the greatest feeling of satisfaction comes from knowing that you have delighted someone? Don’t argue just try it and you will experience something different.

Share this with someone you wish could be a little nicer!