Funny But True

Something to lighten up your mood at same time change how you see some things. Enjoy…. (In Nigeria’s local English)

1. I have been using my only car for over 7 years…
Bros no be testimony o or sign of good maintenance culture. Na lack of progress, deliverance is not a bad idea.

2. I used to be wealthy…
Uncle that one no be bragging right, Pray before you start begging for crumbs from those you used to give bread. I used to guarantees no respect.

3. If not what happened, me and you are not mates…
Well, it has happened, try to get yourself back up before you realize that baba gateman is not a sign of respect but ridicule.

4. I am still young, i can’t stress myself…
You better stress yourself while you are still young than to end up stressing your bald head with blocks at the site of someone young enough to be your grandchild.

5. I am beautiful, i can get all i want…
Yes o, miss Kim, remember beauty fades with age. What will happen when everything fades away? Chai! then you will know the meaning of “a life well spent”.
6. Yahoo na work no be thief, at least i no carry gun…
Sure you no use gun but when life catches up with you, you go wish say you use gun. Don’t worry if you escape all the authorities on earth be sure you can’t escape nemesis.

7. I like married men, they understand me better…
No wahala but know that when you eventually get married your husband too will be understanding young girls outside. And then when you are crying to God for assistance, the cries of the women you destroyed their homes will speak against you. No be curse Sis, enjoy it while it lasts.

8. Ijebu Gari doesn’t need sugar, i am okay with one room face-me-i-slap-you, i am okay with ponmo who needs turkey…
Daddy all these are not signs of contentment o, they are evidences of poverty with capital P! Cast, bind and work harder. God can set you free.

9. This is who I am, whoever loves me would accept me the way I am…
Well, that’s valid till you realize you are 35 and still single. Babe, after 35yrs of age, you go know say crayfish wey bend no craze, na compromise make am and to make head way in life you too have to be ready to give up some of attitude.

10. I won’t marry till I am made…
Bros, I pray you don’t wait till you are 50yrs, or else you will probably retire before your first born finishes secondary school and you end up using your pension to finance University education. Most times, you need a partner to find a strong foot.

If this made you laugh and taught you a thing or two,  then share it after all you don’t want to be a fish seller (selfish).


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