Why Most Ladies’ Relationship Won’t Lead to Marriage
Firstly, let me clear this, your not having a healthy relationship is not because you are ambitious, independent or of high standards, in fact those are exactly what real men are looking for. However, you are having issues sustaining a healthy relationship because of other things you are not conscious of. Unfortunately, marriage most often can only happen when you can sustain a healthy relationship over a period of time.
Marriage, as it were, is not for everyone, this i have also come to understand, so get that clear too! Marriage should be by choice because it is by far the longest compromise anyone can make and the most energy sapping venture anyone can be involved in but even with all that, it is by a long shot the most rewarding investment.
Having gotten the basics out of the way, now let’s talk about why most ladies hardly have a healthy relationship, capable of leading to marriage. I will like to point out that this is a product of research, using the life of 20 ladies who are of marriage age but still searching or in one complicated relationship or another. This might not be absolute but believe me this is conclusive.
3 Reasons smart ambitious women have unhealthy relationship
👍
1. Attitude
Attitude is just who we are and most times because it was formed over the years, we have tendencies to have difficulties changing, hence we conclude people should take us the way we are. My question is, “can you eat a rotten apple because you have accepted it is rotten?” I can’t and I am sure you can’t too. So when you ask people to accept you the way you are, it is like asking them to eat a rotten apple because they have accepted it is rotten.
Know this, bad attitude has nothing to do with how religious, faithful or witty you are. I have seen faithful and religious ladies with very terrible attitude; like obsession, pessimistic behaviors, mood swings, always being suspicious etc, all these have nothing to do with how religious you are. Bad attitude may have been formed due to personal past experiences, stories shared by others or just by habit.
In all fairness, often times people with bad attitude don’t know, they just think it is them acting normal and conscious. But here is the truth, whatever two or more people complain about of you most likely needs to be looked into. Reality is, random people won’t just pick the same fault in you, if it is not there. It may be hard to accept it but if you can put your ego aside and be critical of yourself too, you would be able to spot and fix it.
✌
2. Being Petty
Being petty simply means giving importance to something so insignificant when you look at the big picture. Usually, most women have what I call a ‘wish list’, a list of what their dream man should be or look like, this is not bad but then if you carefully review this list, it is 95% of insignificant things when you look at the big picture of healthy relationship and marriage; this list has made many ladies petty and end up in relationship with the wrong personality. This explains the high rate of divorce among elites.
People who are petty may not know because often times it is fueled by things they can hardly control like anger issues, unresolved emotional crises, ego issues, upbringing and fictional fantasies etc, which clouds their judgement, sense of priorities and open mindedness.Imagine a boat refusing to sail because it once capcized; it just defeats the purpose of being called a boat, if it won’t sail.
Being petty also means blowing issues out of proportion, I have seen a relationship end because of toothpaste, YES toothpaste! She doesn’t like the toothpaste to be pressed from the middle but he is used to it and the next thing, she calls the relationship quit. Being petty is why most people find it difficult to place their hands on why they ended a relationship because when they sit down to think about it, the reason no longer makes sense to them.
The antidote to being petty, is to open your mind and critically review your options. Focus on the bigger picture and ask yourself what you really want in life; happiness or empty wishes?
👌
3. Communication
There is no way a relationship can exist without communication. By communication, I don’t mean just having something to talk about but rather talking about what really matters. Yes, romantic and sexy talks make relationship fun but talking about plans and future expectations makes it even more fun and more healthy; it brings about hope, confidence and at the same time helps integrate dreams.
Most ladies would just rather smile and nod; sister, no guy would want to stay with a dummy. While others would rather dominate discussions and lord opinions, sis, no guy wants to be dominated. Communication only happens when roles interchange; speaker becomes listener and after some time listener becomes speaker.
When your man starts saying “talk now” or “just listen to me too”, communication breakdown is imminent, you either pick up or slowdown. I understand you can be an introvert, you don’t talk much but to have a healthy relationship you just have to learn to talk. And if you are an extrovert, always jumpy, you just have to learn to slowdown and let your man pick up pace.
This is not to say that there are some ladies out there who have not been lucky enough to find a good relationship even though they are 99% what a man should want. To this very few, I say to you, good things take time, don’t comprise on your standard, somewhere a man that can match up is looking for you and very soon will locate you. However, don’t stay hidden too, stand out, socialize, don’t be shy and don’t be too self righteous.
You can make a happy home happen, trust yourself you can do it!
Selah Someonetotalkto's Blog 