This is my interview with a new friend of mine, he used to be a player, a heartbreaker and a chronic womanizer. He agreed to share some of his experiences with me and I hope we can all learn from them as well as from the few notes I took during the interview. You are welcome to the series.
Selahsomeone: Welcome back readers, let’s learn as Mr. A continues with his story.
So Mr. A, This is like bondage right? You became a victim of your own game, unfortunately most of our readers are of the opinion that you deserved it.
Mr. A: I wouldn’t want to argue that because in truth karma has no menu, we get what we deserve! So maybe i deserved it or maybe not, but events that happened after left me wondering, who deserved to be punished? Anyway, it was towards the end of our last session in the university, I could not leave miss T even though I disliked her for all she had done (would not like to be killed because of a woman), so I just soldiered on but kept in touch with my ‘only’ true love, miss B (I had some one night stands and friends with benefits along the way though; back then when, as a student, you are on ride ladies have a way of ending on your bed). Eventually, school was over, we graduated, I travelled home and I stopped picking miss T’s calls.
You cannot hold anyone down against his/her will. If it was meant to be, it will be but relationship is never something to be forced. What is worse than falling for someone that doesn’t love you is being in a relationship with someone that doesn’t want you.
Selahsomeone: Finally, guess you were saved by the distance. How did she and her brothers handle the situation?
Mr. A: After 3months at home, I had another lady miss O, she was such a nice listener, very quiet and peaceful, she was quite the opposite of miss T. I explained everything that happened in school (my version of the story) to her and she was quite sympathetic with me, so with her nice comforting words, I finally had the courage to pick miss T’s call. When miss T called again, in a very sober voice, I told miss T “I mistakenly impregnate someone, my whole family’s aware and that was why I had been scared to pick her calls” (I resulted to my scoping skills). She cursed and cursed, she said so many unprintable words but within me, I could only smile because I knew it was part of the game plan to get her off my back. But after then she made it an habit of calling at least twice a week to either beg or curse and this went on for another few months till…
Selahsomeone: Hold on Mr. A, now I am a bit confused, if she loved you that much, why was she seeing another man? And the curses, were they to force you back or to haunt you going forward? Rhetorical questions, I know, but I can’t help but wonder. Please go on!
Mr. A: One day I got back from work (I was working pending when we would be called for Service-NYSC) only to find miss O (we were actually staying in the same compound then) crying. I was really worried, “what happened? Please tell me” I pleaded with her. When she finally spoke, she said some people accosted her on her way from work and told her to leave me alone or she would die. Instantly, I concluded that must be miss T’s brothers, I got very angry and immediately, I called miss T, told her what happened then told her, she should forget about me and any hope of us coming back together, finally I threatened her that if anything should happen to anyone on that account, she and her family would not go Scot-free. She was silent on the call, she could only manage to say, ” my brothers and I don’t even know your place”, I just ended the call. She stopped calling me after that episode, I started enjoying life with miss O, while miss B remained on the side.
Selahsomeone: Guess some things would never change, miss B still on the side. Don’t you find it strange that she was comfortable being a side chick? And, if you truly loved her like you claimed, why didn’t you just pick her and stay with her.
Mr.A: Selahsomeone picking was the least of my problems, even though I was not wired for long distance relationship, settling with one lady was not on my agenda at that time.
When my service posting came out, I had to take miss O along with me, as she had issues with her Foster parents. I wasn’t posted too far from my base, I was actually posted to the same state I schooled (my dad worked that), so I really understood the town. I rented a place in the town for her while I was at NYSC camp for the mandatory 3weeks.
My first day in camp, I got a shocker, I don’t make friends that easy, so I was alone waiting to be called for bed space when I heard someone yelled my name… turning back, I couldn’t believe my eyes, miss T in same camp with me! It was a mixture of fear and frenzy for me, I gave her a warm hug and exchanged peasantries; was I glad to see her? I can’t say. Then, she asked about my child, this question caught me unprepared, so I asked ” which child?” Her eyes immediately popped out, as she screamed,”so you lied that you impregnated someone just to get rid of me, ha! ‘A’, this is unfair o”. It was then the question clicked, I couldn’t lie anymore, so I told her, she was right that I just needed a break from the relationship. To my absolute surprise, she understood and I must confess, a lot had changed about her. We agreed to stay friends and she became my buddy throughout our NYSC days. I introduced her to one of my friends (another pal of mine while in NYSC camp) and today both are married.
Everyone we meet in life serves purpose; some are to teach us, others are to bring out the best in us while few come along and stay forever!
Selahsomeone: Wow! People change no doubt, no one is a complete write off, that I have also learned. Back to your story, now miss O was in the same town you were serving and guess you guys were thinking of staying together after your camp, right?
Mr. A: Very correct, selahsomeone. She lost her father (her mother passed while she was much younger) shortly before I was called to camp, as we were still battling with that shock, her school (polytechnic) listed her as one of the students with fake result, so she was denied her OND result and to make matters worse, her school certificate results mysteriously disappeared from where she kept them. It was like her whole life crumbled in the space of 2 weeks. I tried my best to comfort her and in the end, we agreed she should come with me, re-write her school certificate exams then process admission into a nearby higher institution.
When I was through with camp, I moved in with miss O. She started attending lessons to prepare her for the school certificate exams. I still kept my relationship with miss B on the side. The game was always to instigate miss O to travel to spend time with her siblings, while I invite miss B over from her own school that way I was able to give both ladies the impression they were the only one. Miss B’s first visit was the first time we had sex after dating for about 6years (on and off). I didn’t meet her a virgin, even though we had been dating before she turned 18; meaning along the line she had some other guy(s) and I was just her side guy too (I didn’t feel bad though but I didn’t feel too good either and we never talked about it).
Selahsomeone: *shaking my head* this you and miss B went too far. I think your affair passes for ‘complicated’.
Mr. A: Absolutely but then I wish it was easy for me to see, anyway, it is said that loving eyes never see. I loved miss B no doubt but I couldn’t stay without an alternative, maybe due to my fear of being alone or something, plus I always wanted to have a backup plan. Asides the two ladies, I had other lady friends, one in particular miss D. For my service, I was posted to the university of education as a lecturer and Miss D was one of my students. I was really fond of her, maybe because she was academically sound and yes, she was a virgin (according to her) and she said, ‘she intended keeping it that way till marriage (I love women with such determination even though I was not a guy with that much patience to wait around)’. So that I won’t be carried away by my platonic love for miss D, I told miss O about her and emphasized that “she’s just a friend”..but I guess that was my undoing as just few weeks after telling Miss O about miss D, she started receiving threat messages from miss D, telling her to leave me or else.
Selahsomeone: This is crazy, thought you said miss D was just a friend why would she be threatening miss O?
Mr.A: I was very furious, I asked miss D about it and she denied it. In fairness to her, I had never said a word about miss O to her before that time, so how she got to know about her or got her number was really confusing. So I told my two friends about it, miss T ( my ex) and Mr. R, miss T insisted miss O was lying just the way she lied about miss T’s brothers harassing her back then while Mr. K was of the opinion, ladies like miss D might want more than friendship.
I didn’t take miss T too serious (afterall she must still be jealous), so i went with Mr K’s advice, I cut down on my closeness to miss D. Then something happened again, miss O came back home one day, with red eyes claiming she was attacked by couple of girls. This got me really mad,after I tended to her, I drove to miss D’s house, didn’t even give her the chance to explain, I told her I don’t ever want to see her again (other than in class, of course) and I assured her she would most likely fail my course.
Love is worth fighting for but a lover is not! You can do your best to keep someone who loves you however it is useless fighting to keep someone who doesn’t even belong to you.
Selahsomeone: Miss D blew it obviously, she really made a mess of everything. Why would a lady attack another lady just because of a man; dating or not dating? I hope miss O didn’t take it too hard.
Mr. A: Well, I left miss D’s house in anger, I left her crying but I wasn’t sorry because I felt she just went too far (a coward who won’t admit the obvious). On my way back home, I stopped at miss T’s place to give her the update (Mr. R traveled at the time), miss T still insisted that something was fishy. So she asked me to do something and that whatever the outcome was, the truth would be revealed. She asked me to cook up a story about miss D and tell miss O, then see what will happen. It sounded crazy to me, ‘cook up a story’ how would that bring the truth? But to satisfy, both, our curiosity, I agreed. When I got home, I told miss O that, when I got to miss D’s house, there was a big fight, the father invited the police and I was taken to the police station but because I was a ‘corper‘, the police released me after paying a “fine” of #500.
The truth has no shades, there could be 50 shades of grey, 100 shades of lies but there is only one truth. If it is not the whole truth then it is a lie!
Selahsomeone: That was a big lie! How do you come up with these lies? Do you even care about what would happen if these people found out the truth?
Mr. A: I wouldn’t want to go into the subject of ‘lies and scopes’, believe me Selahsomeone, it is not as easy as it seems. Anyways, miss O had already made her papers, we were processing her admission into the premiere university and I was just few weeks away from my passing out parade (end of service year) when all these miss D issues turned out this bad. To cut the long story short, just the following morning, miss O got another text from miss D and this was the craziest text of them all. The text went, ” you have not seen anything yet, did your boyfriend tell you I got him locked up? That’s just a little piece of what’s to come, if you don’t leave him for me”.
Selahsomeone: What? You mean…
To be continued