Disappointment is part of life and how we handle it would go a long way in determining how we relate with others. One of the things I first learned about living is that disappointment is inevitable.
Some people will say, “when you put your trust in people what you get is disappointment”, well this is true but how can we live life without trusting someone? Yes, we should trust God but if we can’t trust humans we see how can we trust God we cannot see? Hence, my conclusion that disappointment is just part of life.
In a matter of speaking, you and I have also disappointed people before; our parents, friends, lovers and ourselves. Even though these acts might not have been deliberate, we just find ourselves not living up to the expectations of others, no matter how much we try. On this basis you will probably agree with me that anyone can disappoint and most times not intentionally.
We should be bound by our words, we should uphold whatever we give promise to do that is how it should work but life has also taught me that sometimes things can really really get out of control and we find ourselves where our words and promises become the least of our problems. Ultimately, we disappoint people who ordinarily we would do everything to put smiles on their faces.
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Having understood that disappointment can come from anyone you included, so how do you manage disappointment:
- See the positives in everything: I think why being disappointed hardly gets to me is because I see the positives in everything. I believe to everything is a reason and not all reasons are comprehendible. So even when I see no reason why someone should disappoint me, I still tell my self, it is for the best. A mentor of mine once told me that there is good in bad and there is bad in good. So whether good or bad, every situation provides reason to be happy and sad (#deep).
- Always have a backup plan; When I make plans, I always give room for “what if”, hence, a backup plan. If you observe this too, disappointment won’t hit you too hard. Call it plan B or Plan 2, always ensure you have what to fall back on so you don’t hit the solid ground after a disappointment.
- Build on what you can achieve: My ground zero has always been based on what I can personally achieve, then I commit people to helping me from there. Invariably when their help ceases or doesn’t come I will still have my ground zero which is better than nothing. See whatever anyone wants to do for you as just the icing on the cake you baked with your sweat. So even if they disappoint, you still have your cake.
- Focus on the big picture: There is this big picture in my head of where I want to be and you know what? I have come to understand that it only takes my commitment and God’s grace to get there. Whoever helps along the way is God sent and whoever chooses to quit on me is just someone God grew tired of using while those who failed to help at all are just people God won’t use for me just to protect my dreams. What do you think?
- Have a big heart: Forgiveness used to be one of the most difficult things for me to do, unconsciously I find myself referring to wrongs people did to me and I acted it out. But I think I have grown pass that now. I have grown my heart to accommodate the good, the bad and the ugly without thinking of getting even. This wont happen in a day but as you grow in point number 4, it becomes a piece of cake.