Letter to my unborn daughter by Magnus Nwagu Amudi
Dearest, as you read this, I am glad you can now read and write. What beauty and wonderful things, lie in printed books and online resources. It is a door to new worlds and a window, to the old ones.
My dear beautiful daughter-yes, your mother is a queen, the most beautiful woman to have crossed my path. I am sure you were gifted her beautiful smile, that reduced me to a child, whenever she smiled. But remember, no one survives alone on being beautiful. Beauty is nature’s gift but should not replace knowledge, hard work, excellence, perseverance, kindness and tolerance. Your mother, chosen carefully amongst many to partner me, in this project called life. Chosen carefully to inspire you and to influence the woman you will become.
Listen and learn young lovely lady. Learn from the wealth of knowledge that I gathered while I sojourned, that you may grow to be both a strong woman and a loving mother and wife, each, well within your reach. Be not a timid woman who sacrifices greatness for motherhood or wifehood, nor overzealous, to sacrifice motherhood and wifehood for financial success. In all, balance is key.
First, always remember that no one owes you anything. Whatever your heart and mind seek, you must decide and plan on how to acquire it. With hard work and persistence, no dream is too far away and no barrier insurmountable.
By all means love and seek love in return. But do not depend totally on any man, for your survival or your daily bread. Go into any relationship for the company that he offers and how he makes you feel, but not for what he is worth in money or in properties. Define your criteria and do not compromise from day one. There are good men, but you must be a good woman. When in doubt, look at your mother and me, your father, we have taken every step knowing that you watch and we hope that we have lived by example. As you know, we have not always had it easy, nor did we always agree, but we always found balance. Your mother chose me because of the strength of my character and the excitement of my dreams. And the promise of support, care, respect and love that I solemnly made and honor.
Adannia, you are born into a generation where women have become free to fly high and reach for the skies. I know you would, for the offspring of an eagle must fly. But do not lose yourself in flight and forget that you are first a woman. A woman entrusted with the delicate task of raising the next generation. A woman who must bring forth eaglets and ensure they know the rudiments of life and of who they are. A woman who must pass across to her young, the message of right and wrong. A woman who must prepare the young ones for adulthood. I ask that you be sure to SELECT your partner carefully. For he too, must be very strong willed and well groomed, to play his part in this regard.
For me, the most vital requirement for love is respect. Anyone would care or pretend to, but not everyone would respect you and your views. Therefore, look out for a gentleman who respects your views and finds them useful. Who will not bring you to disrepute and drag our name, in the mud. Who would love you like I do love your mother and believe you as against anyone else. Remember to take your time, the race is not for the swift.
Enyi Nnaya, remember you will make mistakes. I did. Your mother did. Do not be too hard on yourself when you do. No one learns without mistakes. But, you must learn from your mistakes and reflect on them deeply. Do not let people change you or make you bitter. You may bend, but never be broken. Take chances. Travel new roads, see the world and satisfy your curiosities. But you must do so with your mind open and your brain functional. Be kind but not foolish. Give but do not expect to receive. Learn to forgive for we are fallible. But do not easily forget, that you may not repeatedly be harmed or hurt.
Remember to be humble. Arrogance and rudeness detracts from us all. It is like a rot in a banana. No matter how sweet the banana, it will not be eaten. You can stoop to conquer.
In the end, ensure to make yourself happy and fulfilled. Remember, that I am your father, forever. And I know when you are born, you will become my biggest project and my biggest source of joy.
Magnus Nwagu Amudi is a legal practitioner in Nigeria. He is a lover of art and poetry. A graduate of Enugu State University of Science and Technology and presently pursuing a postgraduate degree in law at Elizabeth Haub School of Law, Pace University, New York, United States.
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