Arming Others Against Yourself
First of all, no one intentionally arms others against himself or herself. Of a fact, if we are all shown our enemies, most would learn to keep their distance. However, it is observed that on daily basis we continue to arm (empower) others against ourselves, others in this context doesn’t necessary refer to enemies rather and most especially friends and family.
Let me share my own experience with you. I was frustrated with my job and I was always ready to share my frustrations with friends and family; my job is this, my job is that, it is thrash, I hate my boss, the company is not organised etc but you know what, to me it felt like letting out my frustrations but little did I know I was arming others against myself.
So on this day, I got a pay rise on the same job and I was so excited then a family member made a comment that got me all weakened, “she said finally something good from that your thrash job”. That comment almost took the life off my joy. This person couldn’t have known what my job feels like, if I had not shared and the truth is her working condition might not be as good as mine but I couldn’t have known because she doesn’t talk ill of her work.
You see some people talking ill of their marriage, their husband, their wife, their business, their friends, their life all these are arming others against yourself. Washing your dirty leinel outside only signifies two things, you are dirty and now people know about it; and would definitely use it to judge you. When you bad mouth your friends just to entertain the crowd, eventually when you are done, the crowd would laugh but would also see you as a troubled guy surrounded by more troubled friends.
Everyone is passing through something, and you don’t see all of them dragging their situations like it is the cross of Calvary. There is no point bemoaning your situation to the hearing of every Tom, Dick and Harry. Share with only people who can help and even at that you don’t have to hang yourself dry. I could tell someone I need a new job without calling my old job thrash, I could say my marriage needs help without bad mouthing my spouse.
Be nice to yourself, don’t give others power over your life, know what to share and what to hold on to. If you are too bottled up and you need someone to talk to, choose wisely and most importantly, talk to God, He won’t use it against you.