Don’t Just Make Friends, Choose Friends
“Don’t Just Make Friends, choose friends”, if this is all you remember from this article, then it is fine by me.
For better understanding of this article, i will divide friends into two: 1. Be friends with (acquaintances) 2. Friends you keep (close friends that you allow into your personal space). Friends are inevitable, even when you choose not to have intimate friends, you would still have acquaintances. The kind of friends you keep would determine how far you will go in life. Even when you get a lucky break, how long you stay in that position would be dependent on the kind of friends you keep.
Friends are like the eyes through which we see things and a reflection of who we are (how others see us). If you are calm, gentle and polite but you move with vulgar, impatient and uncultured friends, somehow it will rub off on you. You either become like them or people just assume and threat you like them because they believe you are all the same. The kind of company you keep says a lot about who you are, hence that cliche “show me your friends and I will tell you whom you are”.
I was chatting with a friend some weeks back, on “keeping distance from your single friends when you are married”. She was of the opinion that it wasn’t necessary but the truth is, a married person hanging out with single fellows will most likely end up with a frustrated marriage or a broken home (this is always up for debate). As a single there are so many things you can do and get away with but a married person can’t. Hanging out with singles will mean you having to make such decisions on hourly bases, there’s so much temptation the mind can take before it breaks.
Your friends are your most assured connections, believe it or not. Most people up there have been fortunate to have kept at least a friend with purpose who eventually helped them achieve theirs. But if you have friends up there who are not willing to pull you up with them, then you need to ask yourself what kind of friend have you been to them; serious minded with purpose or a mindless fellow who trivializes everything? You have to be a friend worth keeping. You want to be a friend that his/her name comes to mind when your friends need someone who can make things happen. For instance if you need a problem solved, when you think of your friends, a name will definitely stand out. Be that kind of friend.
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Okay, let’s turn this around and say you are the friend with purpose, when you attain your desired height. Your friends will probably be your right hand persons, right? The vision-less ones encouraging you on how to squander all you have gotten and the clueless ones acting like sycophants just to see what they can gain. Need I say more on what would happen eventually? It doesn’t matter what people call it, pride, arrogance, forming, if you want to maintain and exceed your level of success, “the higher you go the smaller your circle of friends have to be”. You will have to decide which “friends to keep” and those to just “be friends with”.
Keep friends that will keep you focused on your goals. Be intentional about people you allow into certain spaces in your life. You can be friends with everyone but not keep everyone as friends. This is why, being friends with someone only entails “hi hi hi” but people you keep as friends have access to your space, are involved in your decision making process and to a large extent influences you. By all means be intentional about the ones you keep!