Is love Enough For Marriage?
By Osikhena Dirisu
A lot of you people are buying into that dangerous notion of “Love is not enough” to Keep a marriage or a relationship and it is why most of you can’t keep a relationship and your marriage is in dire straits cos you don’t know what Love is.
You have been conditioned to think Love is a feeling or a state of mind forgetting that Love is basically a function of cognition and that if you don’t love a person enough you can’t even put in the work to make that relationship work…
The greatest show of Love is in the quality of the sacrifices you make for the people you care about. And the perfect example Of this is usually the unconditional love a responsible parent has for his or her kid..
Kids are a handful. But we love
them anyway. Through their rebellion and short comings. We love them still. Then it’s weird and funny that when love is discussed in the context of marriage or a relationship it is reduced to something as infinitesimal as feelings.
You think its feelings that will make a man go out to hustle everyday to put food on the table, clothes on your back and a roof over the heads of his wife and Kids? It’s responsibility. Because Love is actually responsibility.
So we go around Like headless chickens, looking for who will be compatible with us, who will understand us because we stupidly believe in the bullshit of perfect fits and soulmates. Forgetting that compatibility is something you build. A perfect fit is something you work on
See, Love is one of the most powerful things I have ever witnessed because it’s pure! How else do you explain the need to constantly make someone happy.
Love isn’t butterflies in your stomach, you probably have ulcer. Love is the Work you put in to make what u have last.
As a Christian, I understand Love
from God’s perspective, He so Loved the World that he “gave”… Love means you have to make sacrifices for the people you care about. Then in Ist Cor 13 God said even if you give to the poor, speak in tongues, have the gift of prophesy but have NO LOVE you have nothing. Meaning if we are more interested in putting up a performance but do not have Love. Then it’s Just a performance.
Then it goes on to say Love is patient, Love is Kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
This is the bible giving us a standard. But “someone” will tell you love isn’t enough and you will buy his bullshit and be equating Love to financial provision and all the other bullshits. That verse of Ist Cor l3 has on a plaque in my parents house when I was growing up. And it was so profound and so meaningful…
That Love isn’t What you feel
Love is what you do.
Love is who you become
Then another plaque in my mom’s room reads “Two cannot WALK together except they agree”. Adults are raised and formed differently with a lot of different values and morals. So when you meet a person you can’t be compatible. You Learn how to become compatible!
Compatibility means you can exist without conflict. So when people Fight at the early stages
of their relationship they are
part quick to abandon ship. Those fights are what is shaping you to Key into that man or that woman. Those fights are What WILL MAKE you become compatible because you PEOPLE ARE raised differently so you will have to come to a place of sacrifice in LOVE to be able to understand and walk together.
You don’t become compatible from the Jump. Compatibility is a journey not a destination.
Always remember that Love is all you need
Love isn’t mind games or manipulation
Love isn’t taking people for granted
Love isn’t waiting for who will call first
Love is responsibility and love is
action and sacrifice
Love is knowing you have an
obligation to make this person happy
The vows people take in church
are simple yet very deep. God is very intentional.
For Richer for Poorer! A lot of people argue that they won’t be poor bla bla… Forgetting you might be one disaster away from losing everything (God forbid). So if that happens will you still stay?
In sickness and in health!
Meaning will you up and LEAVE IF your partner suddenly becomes sick and it overwhelms you? That’s why you have to Love someone unconditionally not because of add ons like fine face, big yansh and so on.
To have and to hold and forsake all others. To Stay married to you till death do you part
See ehn, Love and marriage are not for people Who don’t have the mental capacity to process what it truly stands for. If you don’t Understand unconditional LOVE, then please don’t get married.
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