Enemies are unavoidable, you would have to make them as you grow in wealth, position, knowledge, personality and as you expand your territory. When you start making enemies, usually it means you are doing something for yourself, not necessary doing something right. Enemies are necessary pivot to keeping us moving forward, to keeping us wanting more, to keeping us aspiring to surpass where we are at the moment, to keeping us seeking God for protection and grace. So yes! making enemies is as important as making friends.
However, some enemies we make are just not necessary. Having listed the usefulness of enemies, making unnecessary enemies would give us the opposite of what we aspire to become. Unnecessary enemies would make us lose favour, keep us from having quality allies, put us in bad light with neutrals and often kill our chances at extending our contact reach. Below are some of the enemies we should not make.
1. Acquiring enemies of your friends or family: Most people do this a lot without knowing, because someone is not in good terms with your friends and/ family doesn’t make them your enemy too. I recall when I was in University, same University my Dad lectures, so he had a fall out with one of the lecturers who happened to be my own direct course adviser. I had to find ways to get close to this lecturer in spite of his fallout with my dad, and you know what he told me, “he said, you are wise, I thought you would avoid me and I would have made sure you don’t graduate”. I understand, it is natural to want to side with your family or friends but if it is never your battle to begin with why make unnecessary enemy?
2. Making your direct boss or benefactor your enemy. This is another unnecessary battle, you obviously know a lot depends on your boss or benefactor when it comes to your growth, so why make him or her your enemy. There is a concept called “managing your superior”, in whatever form your superior presents himself or herself be it boss, benefactor, teacher, lecturer, landlord etc. You have to learn how to tolerate his/her excesses. I understand some times these people get on our last nerve and it feels like we should let all hell loose but trust me it is wiser to build tough skin and weather the storm. And even when you have to part, resist the urge to drop a stinker or have the last words. You don’t need that kind of enemy.
3 Faceless People: How do we even stoop so low to make enemies of faceless people? By faceless people, I mean random people on social media or celebrities. I get, trolling is like catching cruise but the truth is, it is fun till you are at the receiving end. So basically, you don’t need this kind of enemy. When people say things and you feel like insulting them, just scroll. My mom used to say, “if you don’t have something nice to say just swallow your spit”. By the way, why fight over celebrities and you spend all your time trying to defend them while making real life enemies. Some go to the extent of pitching one celebrity against another by comparing them. Let me ask, how would you feel if you are being compared to someone else? Look, if it is a celebrity that you are directly benefitting from I could agree you are working for what you are gaining but fighting faceless people over people who don’t know you exist? Come on, it is not worth it.
4. Making enemies of your family members: This is so many of us, you don’t talk to your sister, you have stopped calling your mom, you are not in good terms with your dad or perhaps you taking sides with one of your parents just because of what you have heard or seen, believe me, these are not the kind of battles you want to be fighting. Family is sacred, you need all of them especially your immediate family. You don’t side anyone, you should have everyone’s back and they will have yours too. No matter what the misunderstanding might have been, family forgives and party together. I understand parents try to make their kids love one parent more than the other and society often tilts towards empathy for the mother but know this, love both your parents for who they are, you need their support and prayers, don’t neglect one in your bid to side with the other. Don’t make enemies out of your family member(s).
5. Making enemies of those you have reached out to in the past. Whatever position we find ourselves today, we must have reached out to least the three categories of people. 1. People who said ‘No’ whether because they didn’t have or because they just don’t want to help. 2. People who ignored us, whether because they were too busy to help or they just don’t care and 3. People who said ‘Yes’, whether because they had excess or were just in a good mood. Whatever you do, don’t make enemies of any of these categories whichever answer they have given you in the past and this is why, for you to have even asked them for help means deep down you believe they can influence change in your life. Keep them as part of your contacts, every dog would have its day.
Life is a war with many battles but the wise chooses only battles he can win. Be wise, choose real enemies that would drive you and avoid making unnecessary enemies that would destroy your dreams.