What if I told you, you can’t solve all your problems? What if I told you not all your dreams would come true? What if I told you not every prayer will be answered? Finally, what if I told you not all good gestures will be rewarded in kind?
It is called the place of destiny. A place where some things are inevitable no matter how much we try, cry, pray or prey. People rarely want to talk about this because it is scary, to accept that you can’t change some things, to realize you have a path that must be followed to attain success, to understand that no matter how much you try you can’t solve some problems. Very scary right?
However, that is life; truth, patterns and cycles. Some spend ages in the church trying to break the cycle like it is a curse, some on noticing the pattern try to push their kids in a different direction just to avoid it but too often the consequence of trying to avoid what should be is often greater. I have seen people destroy a whole existence just to avoid what ought to be.
It is not a problem if you have tried severally to solve it to no avail. In fact, it stops being a problem the moment you fail at solving it. Many fight where there are no battles, continually pushing back on things that are inevitable. It is the truth, the most logical response is to embrace it. If you can see patterns and cycles, then it is a destiny to be shaped. Now whether a truth or destiny, it is not a death sentence. There are few tricks I have learned about situations like this that I am willing to share.
1. Accept the reality: The saying goes “it is what it is”: rather than wasting precious time fighting it, accept it for what it is; a truth or a destiny. Either way, it is a reality that must be lived. Using the lemon approach, life throws it at you, you throw it back only for more to come back right at you, at some point you will have to stop throwing it back and start thinking of what you can do with the lemons.
2. How do you want to live the reality? Being your reality doesn’t mean you must live it, however, avoiding it might mean getting something better or worse but in most cases worse. Some totally ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist while others embrace it. You have lemons from life, you decide to ignore it but it is there, you are not fighting it, you have only ignored that it is there or you pick them up and start thinking of how to actually use them to get what you want from life.
3. Getting the best of it: If you have chosen to accept the reality, then your next step is how to get the best of it. Finally, you have decided to own your lemons and you start shaping and reshaping them into the best things you can make from them. It is a lemon-lemonade world, you have the sugar and water in you to add to any soar taste life can dish you.
Don’t waste your time fighting when you can spend that same time and energy making the best of bad situations. Fighting back can be exhausting, demanding and demeaning but turning things in your favour is as simple as exploring how you can get the best of what life throws at you. Don’t be scared to ask questions, check your history if you see patterns, learn from the lives of others before you and where the cycle always ends badly learn from where others have failed.
One good thing about destiny is, it does not have to end badly for you because it did for others, we may have the same destiny but we have different fates. Your destiny is what you make the outcome of those truths, patterns, and cycles and the only way you can get the best out of them is to quit fighting and start embracing, learning from history, and doing everything within your power to get the best of every situation.