It Has Happened

“It Has Happened oooo!!! The worst has happened; you can’t take those words back, you can’t undo those actions, you can’t unsee what you have seen, you can’t unhear what you have heard, what you have dread has become your reality, what you have thought would never happen in a million years are unfolding in your presence and people you have thought can never be so judgey of you have suddenly become jury, judges and executioners.”

What I have painted above is the reality someone of us are facing everyday. “The hurtful feeling, like life itself is not worth living, like it is all over and no one can come back from this”. If this is you, I want to let you know, you can come back from anything. Loss of money, failed relationship or marriage, loss of financiers, loss of job, unwanted baby or pregnancy, expulsion from school, being disowned by parent or guardian whatever it is in your case, no matter how guilty you are or the events have made you feel, you can come back from it.

I know it is more breaking when people you feel should at least be on your side or understand or even bear with you are the ones to cast the first stones. The condemnation alone can make you feel worthless and not comeback worthy but believe me even in the midst of their disgust, hatred and disdain, your comeback is still possible. Know this, your coming or bouncing back has nothing to do with how others feel about you. You are the main character in your story and if you decide not to give up and lie down helplessly and hopelessly then you can always turn things around.

Guilt would try to tear you apart. I should have done this, I should not have done that, I should have listened, I should have been careful, I should have been more patient, I should have been faithful etc. It has happened, it may serve others seeing you wallow in regrets, especially the “I told you so” friends and family but my friend you have to dig yourself out of the guilt pit. You cannot change what has happened and the mistakes you have made but you can always start afresh any time you choose too.

Self pity usually follows guilt, the pain cannot be denied; pain of losing something that used to make you happy or losing something that you never realized how special it was till you have lost it or the pain of losing your comfort just because you were striving to be more comfortable. Whatever it is for you, the pain can easily affect your mental health and send you into depression and self pity but you need to know self pity won’t change a thing neither would being depressed. Most of your “co-pitiers” are just there for the trill, so you have to man/woman up, wipe your tears and rededicate yourself to coming out better than you were before. Starting over is not easy in any context but it is better than conceding defeat and living miserably for the rest of your life.

Starting over will be rough, you will have to take so many things you wouldn’t have taken before but with time you will have your head above the waters. The earlier you start the better for you. I admire those who can fall today and in another 12hours they are planning their comeback already, however I know we are not all like that some of us are more emotional and as such are more attached to things and the people made us feel. But I will still insist you start your recovery process as soon as possible you don’t have time to waste. The best time to start your recovery was yesterday the next best time is now.

Don’t build your come back on revenge, it is more poisonous to you than the people you think you need to get back at. Build your come back on being better than you were before. Let what fuels your need to bounce back be the fact the you know you deserve better and that what had happened won’t determine what you would be known for. You can come back from anything, let know one tell you otherwise. Don’t waste time feeling guilty, self pity or worthless. You have got this and you can still be your dream self.

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