Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Digest

SAME ROUTE, DIFFERENT DESTINATION

SAME ROUTE, DIFFERENT DESTINATION

We all were born into life without a clue of what living entails or what lies ahead of us. As children, we familiarise ourselves with the environment and people around us. A child accepts the people who they see often but are sceptical when strange people come around. As one grows older, this attitude to get attached to the known and become cautious of the unknown continues to characterize our actions in life. However, when a known individual becomes distant due to certain reasons, we sometimes hold on longer than we should because of the emotions which becloud our judgements.

The life in which we were born is rich in itself. It teaches us how to live in it through lessons that may be subtle or obvious. Take for example, you embark on a journey; whichever medium you choose to use, you meet people on your way. During the period of the transit, you may engage in discussions with people on topics helpful to your journey. If there is a cause to take some decisions about the journey, you tend to trust the opinion of your fellow commuters rather than someone without the experience of the journey. 

Nonetheless, once you arrived at your expected destination, you alight from the transportation medium. With little or no thought about those whose company you have enjoyed for hours, you continue to proceed in the achievement of the purpose for the journey. If you met anyone exceptional during the journey, you most likely keep in touch with such person.

The above analogy explains life though we rarely see the connection. Being on the same bus or flight to a city does not mean you must end your day with those people. Everyone you meet in life has got a time span to spend with you. Either we notice it or not, it is impossible to stay around the same set of people all your lifetime. You may be on the same route but your destination might be different. Hanging on longer than you should to your vehicle of transit will make you miss your destination and hence, forfeit the essence of your journey.

Those whose virtue have not completely rubbed off on you will still be on the same route with you as you advance in your journey. Twenty friends cannot play for twenty years because they all have different scripts and scenes cut out for them by life.  A scene needs to end for another to begin. As emotional as it may feel, it is the only way to a successful and meaningful drama.

Understanding when to keep on and when to quit a friendship is essential in order not to expend one’s energy in wrong areas. It keeps you abreast on who should feature in the next stage of your life. Not everyone you admire should remain in your circle. Some people should leave for some reasons or after a season. Others should always stick around because their contribution to your success in life is recurring; so says a woman of wisdom. 

It is not always an act of pride when people choose not to fight over some relationships. They may have realised that it is expedient to let go. Nevertheless, know your route and your destination and always identify those who should join you or leave at every juncture!

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Digest

​DO NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

​DO NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER

“You may not have a second opportunity  to make a first impression” suggests that you should always be at your best when meeting and interacting with people because it forma the basis of their perception of you. – Oluwatosin

When people interact with you for the first time, they are often interested in your appearance, body language and cognitive level. They assess you based on some preset standards they have set in their minds. It takes a couple of ticks on the assessment chart before one is referred to as a cool guy, a responsible lady or an intelligent individual. As good as this impression may be, if subsequent actions do not align with the existing impression, the perception of the onlooker is reviewed and disappointment soon follows.
Have you met someone before and he/she looks appealing- well cultured, good appearance, and so on but as time goes on, you begin to see traces of qualities that counter the one you got from your first impression? Then you wonder if you were wrong during your first encounter or you were unlucky to meet an impostor.

Perceptions could also change positively. You could meet someone today and notice a major turnoff which changes for good with time. The person might have been undergoing a hard time as at when you met which accounted for his or her high-hat attitude. Drawing up all the conclusions in one day because of a set of actions or reactions may be too hasty. Real people are often imperfect; they are cool on several sides but they also have their not-so-cool attitudes. If you are faced with the odd side during your first encounter, you might not have the pleasure of enjoying their cool selves if you draw the line immediately. Give people time to prove themselves.


On the other hand, total perfection is a pointer to pretense. When a person is always on time, no angry side, no provocative attitude, no weakness, be cautious- you might just be on the path of being taken in. Everybody is a work in progress. However, some people have accomplished more than others, there is no unit standard for assessment. Accept each person on a new page, allow them the chance to describe themselves and do not be hasty in judgements.

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Digest

Liar’s Corner

Liar’s Corner

It is said that, “a good liar must have a good memory”. This is indeed true because lying is a big task. It is born from hasty generalisation, assumptions, exaggeration and unnecessary make-believe. For one not to be caught, he/she needs to recall every history of lies told to a person or in a situation so, it can be built upon and adequately updated. Believe me, this is not an easy duty. So, I concur fully to that nugget for liars.

Most liars live in a world of fear and adjustments. They hardly notice or accept it though. Even when he is looking so calm in appearance while explaining his ordeal or convincing you about a deal, he is undergoing series of calculations and adjustments inside of him. His thoughts counter each other… he’s studying your actions and noticing your responses to know if you believed his last statement or not and how well he can continue to bamboozle you or shroud his last flaw. It is such a complex world for them. However, is it really needed?

Nothing tarnishes one’s personality more than when he is found to be dishonest. It takes just one lie to have all the truth you have ever told questioned. It ruins relationships, business opportunities and even one’s integrity. Someone who has never met you might not trust you because of your track records of lies that has widely spread; that can hinder so many opportunities untold. Your report, analysis, personal history and so on, does not have to sound interesting all the time. Just say it as it is! If you do not get an applause in the end, never mind… you got an integrity boost instead. Another badge of trust got added to your personality chest.

Telling a lie for a good reason doesn’t make it the truth and doing wrong with good intentions doesn’t make it right. When trust is betrayed, nothing else really matters. -Selahsomeone

It does not take a good lying technique to thrive in business or a relationship. It takes good strategy and communication skill. “If you don’t cheat, you won’t make profit”, who’s theory is that? Develop a good business strategy, get a good location, be appealing to your target market, be friendly and do not compromise your quality in goods and services… your business is going to soar. “My spouse/ parent never believes me until I lie”. Are you for real? Why not keep up with the truth? When loved ones find your words and the reality to be consistent, they will come to terms with your honesty, eventually you would become more appreciated and your bond would grow stronger.

There is no reason good enough to lie. Consider your options again… a safe route is staring at you in the face. Exploit it! Relieve yourself from the stress of internal clumsiness. Make the world a more reliable place to live in. Speak the truth always.

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Digest

EVERYONE HAS GOT A PRICE

Everyone Has Got A Price

We live in a society where people are quick to criticise other people, events or actions as long as they are not involved. Mind you, they may be engaged in something worse or close but as long as its not the present subject matter, they cast their stones on the accused without remorse. Most times, when situations occur, its sympathizers and critics fail to keenly ask themselves what they would have done if they were involved in it or if they could have acted better. If tides change and a critic of yesterday becomes a victim today, what should we expect?

In politics, it is observed that the incumbency is always inadequate at the time of power transition. However, when new individuals assume office, their flaws are seen in no time on either the same basis or similar ones with which their predecessors were criticized. My point is, everybody has got a price – you might never know yours until its the asking price. People are faced with situations daily. They have to make decisions, take actions and follow them through using methods they regard best to enable them cope with the situation. This is greatly influenced by their habits, personalities, etc. whether good or bad. When the result of these decisions become publicly known, a third party would learn from it by seeking better solutions to give him/her an edge if quizzed with such in the nearest future.

Passing judgement is easy anyone can do that but it takes compassion to understand while only the wise ones remember to live the lessons!

This develops one’s character and standards as the observer does not only seek for reasons to condemn but also unbiasedly analyses the situations and learns from it. People succumb to pressure when their charisma and values have been overpowered by it. Either in business or relationship, temptations will come. Being broke or lonely could be the asking price for a neighbour to do weird things. When exposed, they are castigated for not doing the right thing. Some people might even take out time to school them on how they could have acted better. If the same situation is redefined or intensified, these teachers mess up like no other. Wonder why? Its because they never learnt from the predicament of their neighbour; they only judged it.

In the days of Jesus, when the adulteress was caught without a defense, the perfect judge heard her case but denied her a sentence. I guess that was because He knew that a judgement on her would mean an equal judgement on everyone who was present either at that instant or a later future. We will all sell at a price, but what is your own price and because someone sold at a price less than we think we can sell doesn’t make them cheap, it only confirms they are human and they have a price.

We will all sell at a price, but what is your own price and because someone sold at a price less than we think we can sell doesn’t make them cheap, it only confirms they are human and they have a price.

Instead of magnifying people’s failures, show empathy and understanding, then you learn from them and step up your game. Increase the amount on your price tag so that on the bazaar of life, your shame will never be bought.

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Digest, Motivational

How do you want to die? 

How do you want to die? 

A quick look at today’s elders gives an insight to how the future of today’s youths will be. Elders are known for their stories; they have had an experience for almost every situation or question they are faced with. When given enough time, they reflect on their past, reminiscence on events that affected their lives and often times, contribute to their current state of living. The stories they share sometimes sound like movie scripts because of the intrigues, suspense, sadness and joy it entails, and not forgetting the vibrancy with which they shared them. A salient truth embedded in those details however, is that those stories reveal how the narrator spent his or her life. 

Their lives came in phases; childhood, teenage years, youthful stage then adulthood. Each phase was splitted into a time frame of twenty four hours a day as we have in modern times. Some of these elders, started out as privileged young chaps who got whatever they wanted or sought for opportunities to live their dreams. Either through formal education, skill acquisition or business orientation, they stepped out on a right footing in their youthful years. 

So, everything done has its place on the sand of time and would amount to ones biography someday. – Oluwatosin

As the phase concluded and the next commenced, they continually expanded their horizon in search for opportunities, knowledge, information and greener pastures. Thess exploits came along with exposure into different areas and it helped their choices in life decisions. When sharing their autobiographies as elders, they remember the years of troubles, adventures and celebrations. They re-live the moments of achievements with pride and would willingly set themselves as examples. 

There are also elders who would rather lie than expose their faults and regrets. For reasons which they wish never occurred, they lost opportunities, blew up the bridges to their success and a chance to have a better life for themselves and future generations. Instead of leaving a good legacy for their offspring, they depend on them for survival and serve those who they should have tutored. Elders like these, live everyday in regret, aggression and secret shame of how much of their lives have been wasted. 

A common gift from both category of elders to today’s youth and children is the nugget of how life should and should not be spent. As in the days of old, every man has got his life in phases with a fixed amount of time allocated to each. So, everything done has its place on the sand of time and would amount to ones biography someday. Spending time is easy but accounting for it can either result in pride or pain. A good number of the world’s population would rather live long but the question is what memories are we building?

What scares me are not the mistakes I have made everyone is guilty of that but what scares me are those mistakes I have covered up because I know someday I will have to make reference to them and when that day comes, I hope I have a good explanation. – selahsomeone


So I ask you, how do you want to die? Fulfilled or fool-filled?

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Good people

CHANGE OF NAME 

CHANGE OF NAME 


“Can you introduce yourself, please”? “I am Fagbenro Ogunyakin”. “What?! I thought you called yourself a believer!” Conversations like this has been part of our society. In this part of the world, people bear ancestral names as their last name. Although it is informally called “father’s name”, it is not literally so. Our ancestors were not opprotuned to have been exposed to the truth of the gospel- they worshipped the gods they understood, had communion with them and lived based on their principles. As a result, they bore names that reflected their belief. Presently, things have greatly changed. Most people no longer associate with their ancestral deities. However, the family name which they bear, reflects them. The question is, “should those names be changed?” 

It has been observed that some people revamp their names thereby modifying the meanings. For example, “Fatoyin”, which means, “Ifa(a Yorubaland diety) deserves praise” is changed to “Oluwatoyin” meaning, “Almighty God deserves praises”. This is because it is believed that the name one bears has a stronghold on his or her fate and future. On the other hand, others who have such names as first or last names, go ahead to answer them even when they personally have no connection to the deities. They believe that names have more effects spiritually than it does physically. So, they would rather disassociate themselves with those deities and ancestral covenants than change their names which they were christened. Which approach is advisable and more efficient? 

As Africans, we would always be attached to a belief system. Those belief systems will continue to affect our ideologies, productivity and the achievements we make out of life. Either it comes in form of the names we bear or the way we should be addressed, it is what defines us. The success of an average African man begins from his brain and ends up as his mindset. Firstly, he thinks of it then believes in it and forms his life around it. Nothing else will work for him unless it gets its way into his head for a rethink. So, be it an obvious change or a spiritual one, ensure that everything that defines you, conforms with your ideology.

By Oluwatosin Ayodeji

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Digest, Relationship

Ties that Bind

Ties that Bind; how compatible are you?

As a tie which it is, it merges hearts and most times confuses reasoning.  So, if you are in love wrongly, you tend to remain bound wrongly too. 

A lot of people have their lives wrapped around an abstraction which dictates much of their actions. It is termed, “love”. It is either love for someone, a deep attraction towards fantasies or the comfort they derive from a kind of activity or obligation. Whichever way it portrays itself, almost everyone has the feeling of love even if it is selflove.

The feeling can be consuming, always wanting to be around a person or thing, often times it can be really demanding though everyone else except the lover sees it that way. Little wonder, it is said that, “loving eyes never see”. The ecstasy it brings is like no other. It creates a bond with the object of affection- an inseparable feeling, a connection, a soul tie. Even when things go wrong and situations seem bad, love has its way of binding up wounds and subtly demanding sacrifices. You would not mind spending so much to fix your best car, travel across continents to visit your heartthrob or sitting down for hours doing a job you enjoy even when you are sick because it brings you happiness.

A verse of a popular song reads, “love is magical”, indeed it is, yet destructive when it involves two incompatible minds. Imagine that this magical feeling connects one incompatibly; it neither loses its potency nor bond, giving birth to a lover that is attached to someone or something that constantly derails him/her from a required course. It makes people put so much effort into a passion that leads nowhere. Since love is visually impaired, its leaves its captors with nothing else than the zeal to keep trying hard to “fix things” and sacrificing more to “make it work”.

Even when things go wrong and situations seem bad, love has its way of binding up wounds and subtly demanding sacrifices. 

Recently, it has become rampant to hear gruesome details about couples. Either a man beats up his lady to a pulp, a woman sends her husband to an early grave or a house owner is killed by his pet. Divorce has become part of nuptial agreement. Love is majorly responsible for these- not that it is an inappropriate feeling but because it was wrongly developed between incompatible lives. 

As a tie which it is, it merges hearts and most times confuses reasoning.  So, if you are in love wrongly, you tend to remain bound wrongly too. It is difficult to literally separate two bodies being held together by an adhesive, so it is when hearts adhere. It just sticks together, producing connections that can either build or mar its individuals; a forceful dismemberment always causes bruises, instability and hurt. 

Think wisely about that loveable attraction because its hold might be stronger than you could ever imagine.

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Motivational

LEAKING CHANCES

LEAKING CHANCES

Ever seen a worn-out tap? It continuously releases water even at its tightest adjustment. At intervals, the water runs out – either quick enough to make a pool or in slow succession that the last drop dries up before the next. Anytime you see the tap, it’s doing the same thing. If you place a bucket beneath the leakage, the observation becomes different. The tap does the same thing as always but the bucket bares witness to what is lost.

Let us liken this to life opportunities – have you ever missed an opportunity? Did you feel hurt about it like you have lost something important? Maybe or maybe not! Probably you had an assurance that something better was close, so missing this opportunity didn’t really matter to you. But did it happen again? Most likely! Can you take stock of your opportunities lost in one way or another? Just like placing a bucket beneath a leaking tap, you will realise how much you could have possibly gained cumulatively, if those deals were sealed, chances were taken, and those great ideas followed up.
image

Many of us disregard these little but important headways saying we await our golden opportunity.

Golden Opportunities are not some all glory written chances that drop from the skies, like people would have you believe, what makes an opportunity golden is how we utilize what is presented to us. Opportunities come in different shades; It could be a chance to meet someone, an avenue to mend fences in a relationship or attain more in life. The opportunities might come like droplets from a tap and dry away quickly like it was not as important as it seemed especially since another droplet is forming rapidly. As insignificant as it may appear, it increases the volume of unrecoverable chances when carefully analysed.

Nothing hurts more than the realisation of unutilized opportunities. So, cherish every drop of opportunity as much as you can, purse them with all you have got, nurture them like a mother would care for her baby and strive to make them count because they might be that golden move that makes all the difference.

By AYODEJI, Oluwatosin Abiodun 

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Digest, Motivational

A SNIPER’S PERSPECTIVE

A SNIPER’S PERSPECTIVE 

“What works well for Taiye might not work well for Kehinde”, is a Yoruba (a Nigerian language) adage that suggests that everyone has a unique way his/her life will follow. In military, to gain advantage at a war front, specialised personnel are placed at strategic positions to help bring down their enemies with precise but anonymous shots. They are called snipers. A sniper is relieved of the stress on the battlefield. He has the rare opportunity to fight as an external influence – having everyone within range while being out of sight. It’s like having to write an open test from the comfort of your home while your mates are under a tense condition- who wouldn’t want that?!

image

Having in mind the sniper and his rifle, here are few things we can learn:

📌 Some people get rare privileges, don’t compare your life with theirs.
This is how life plays out for some people; they have rare privileges, opportunities for second shots and a chance to display their expertise. Hence, they become models that others want to build their lives after. Just as the adage, everyone’s life has a unique course; you cannot live someone else’s life. So, there is really no need for the comparison. If I desire to live my life like yours, I won’t end up being me and the best I can be, is second best.

📌 We are all unique and have different paths
If two snipers are positioned in the same location, though they may have the same distance and wind directions to consider, there will be a slight difference in the trajectory to the enemy. This explains life! Even when in the same position with anyone, one must discover his/her path and walk in it. You need to know that because something works for your friend doesn’t mean it will work for you, even twins often have different paths.

📌 Don’t run your life on another man’s plan
Circumstances might be generic but it’s effect on an individual is often specific. Imagine yourself crossing a busy road with the observation of the person next to you. He might have decided to walk through the first Lane, stand by the barricade at the middle while the oncoming vehicle on the other side, passes by. You on the other hand, might assume he would want to run across the road and so, follow suit. If you do so, you might be unlucky to be run down by the oncoming vehicle. Do you now see why everyone has to plan for life? Focusing on the success of someone else can make you derail from yours because no one else can live your life but YOU. You can admire people’s lifestyle and success, use it as an example but do not plan to live exactly the way they do.

image

There is more to explore using the sniper’s perspective. The difference in opportunities, talents, paths, timing and success rate. We can not live like another, one person one life! Little wonder the Egyptian army died in the Red Sea – they saw the children of Israel walk through it like a parade on a red carpet and so did likewise. They did not think of how to cross the sea themselves instead, they trusted someone else’s faith. Many humans drown in the challenges of life because they trust in the fate of others. Your success or failure cannot be recorded in another person’s name. If a sniper takes a shot from the calculations of his neighbour, he might miss his target and hence, expose his location.

Take advice as you go through life, learn from others, admire their success but endeavour to live life from your perspective. 

By
Ayodeji Oluwatosin

Posted in Author Oluwatosin, Digest, Relationship

PURCHASE THE PREMIUM VERSION

PURCHASE THE PREMIUM VERSION

Mobile technology has found its way into the lifestyle of the modern day man. It is difficult to spend a day without using a mobile phone. Either as an alarm, to make calls, transact online businesses or to create and review memories, mobile phones will always come handy, anytime of the day. These phones run on software which coordinates their actions. The software is called an operating system. The model and internal specifications of the phone determines the operating system mounted on it. It could be JAVA, iOS, Android or Windows. However the operating system, with which a mobile phone operates, runs programs called applications (users prefer to call them apps). These apps make the phones interesting to its users.

The other day, I needed my phone for a particular purpose so, I downloaded an app that would render that service. In few minutes, I had the application on my phone. It looked really nice and the reviews of other users told me it was the best app that could work for what I needed. But just when I saw the button for the exact service I sought, I was disappointed with the response I got after clicking, it read,  “This feature is only available for the premium version, click here to buy now”. My bubble burst! I had thought it was a free app all along. While still thinking of my next move, a salient thought came to mind, “why can’t human beings think like these ‘lifeless’ applications?”

image

A lady gets into a romantic relationship this minute and the next thing we know, it’s all her brain can think about! She’s at his beck and call. She becomes his baby, girl, wife, cook, cleaner and even his nurse. She does everything a woman can do for a man…and she’s still at the level of a relationship. Then, she starts complaining, “we are not advancing!”, “he has not proposed”, “I don’t think he’s even thinking about marriage yet”. Please, why should he? Why pay for what I have had for free?, Why would I pay for an application when I can access all its features in its free version??? The lady does not know that some of those actions should only be given after the “premium version” has been purchased. A guy has a girlfriend and automatically assumes the role of her father, what else is he keeping to show after the “full-version” is purchased? Nothing! 

Love yourself, respect yourself. Never sell yourself short. Believe in yourself regardless of what other people think. You can accomplish anything, absolutely anything, if you set your mind to it.”—Marcus Allen

Most people (men and ladies) give it all at the ‘free version’ stage, this is the reason lots of relationships remain stagnant and why some other partners eventually break up when there’s nothing to look forward to, after a long courtship. Like the app, If you give it all at the “free version” stage, of course, hardly will anyone need to have the priced version. We youths, especially ladies should learn to put value on ourselves.  And if you have been giving everything at the free version level, it is not too late to say, ” dear, trial version has expired please purchase the full version to continue use!”. It is your life and you have to be in control.

“Worthless” people are not treated with care because there is nothing to lose if you lose them. The way you present yourself is often the way you will be accepted. It is hard to make people pay for what they have been enjoying for free. You are more precious than glittering stones you guard so jealously, so if you agree with me, then you will understand that you are the most precious asset you have; don’t sell yourself cheap!

image

Most likely, one day when my device  storage is overloaded, I would delete the application because it’s no longer of any importance since I never paid to get it, but the lessons will remain with me forever as I hope with you too. 

By AYODEJI, Oluwatosin Abiodun