Embrace Who You Are

Sometimes, however, there’s no one around to give you that hug you need. When you’re having a bad day, experiencing some sort of pain, or simply craving a bit of affection, why not give some love to yourself? … Mimic the pressure that you feel when you get a reassuring bear hug.

There is so much to you than meets the eye. True, you may not have figured out all about yourself but you can still build on the little you know. Don’t let people shut you down just because they don’t like the way you speak or your kind of ideas. Don’t let people put you down because you are not what they expect. Don’t shrink just because you want to make someone feel comfortable around you. Don’t become someone else because someone close does not like your kind of person. It is who you are, embrace it and make the best of it.

You have to stop apologizing for who you are. You can’t keep denying what your passions are, no matter who is misunderstanding what matters to you. You should be your own number one fan, no one should love you more than you love yourself. Your line of thoughts may seem very odd, don’t be shy to stand by what you think is real, be proud of your views. You may not have as much insights as others do but that doesn’t mean you are not capable of something more meaningful. There is a You in there, embrace it.

You can learn, learning is not beyond you. You can improve on your current self that is the idea of living but never let anyone take away your values and what you believes. These are your identity, fight to keep them, they are who you are, protect them with your life. You are special never let anyone tell you otherwise, even when people fail to see why, never doubt yourself. They will surely come around, each one bearing gifts when you fully form.

Photo Credit: Hugging Myself
by escaped-emotions

Love yourself, no one will do that right for you. Don’t let your head down less others will look down on you. Humility is good but do it with pride, self-belief, self-love, good self-esteem and unshaken desire to excel in all things. You are your own greatest ally, cast away all doubts and trust your instincts, listen to your heart and pay close attention to your mood. They are all part of your making, even when your eyes fail to see they will keep you safe and on track.

Make it all about you, when you learn to love yourself as you should, loving others won’t be a problem. This will impact on your friendship and relationship; it takes a complete you to complement another. You have got so much within you; talent, gift, wisdom, thoughts, passion… loving yourself is all you need to amplify all these. Don’t fail the You inside, embrace who you are and watch life get less complicated.

Embrace Who You Are


I Just Realized I am god

I said, “You are gods, And all of you are sons of the Most High. – King David

A man’s strength is in his understanding of his potential. When you know the kind of power you possess you can know what battles you are equipped to fight. I made a shocking discovery today, I just realized I am a god!

I am god, this is not blasphemy this is reality, a reality that works base on my faith and not yours (so you don’t have to believe me for it to become my reality). By the way, I am still trying to wrap my head around what this means though but with all the movies I have seen about gods; god of Egypt, Odyssey, Zeus, Thor, clash of the Titians etc., I guess this must mean something great. To put the icing on the cake, I was also called the son of the Most High, wow! I own this world, man! I am really excited!

So here are few facts I have been able to gather about my new status:

A god never fears what is to come, as a god I create my future. This means I can’t be afraid to take on my dreams. I have got what it takes to make them come true. My future is mine to create, I write my own story, so no ill-fated experience can stop me. I am god, my worries should be kneeling before me, my uncertainties should tremble at the hearing of my voice. I should be ruling over my thoughts and controlling my words while guarding jealously what I allow into my life.

A god has no room for negative thoughts, complaints and regrets. So friends with negative words and feedbacks better watch out, you all may have to go. I shouldn’t be complaining about anything, I should be decreeing and watch them come to pass. And regrets? Na not me, I should give my best at all times, really it is beneath a god to be ordinary, so as a god, if I am going to do anything, it would sure be my best efforts.

I have the power to heal, to love and to empower others. What good is power if others can’t feel it? Being god means I have to impact on others, show love like never before, heal the brokenhearted and empower the powerless. Touch lives through my words, change lives through my actions, be a blessing to others as I become blessed beyond words after all I am a god, I am blessed already.

I have powers to set goals, to take on new challenges and to fulfill purpose. Like seriously, I should have purpose right? Not just waking, eating and sleeping like some animal, I should have something more to me than just existing. Being god won’t be interesting without having challenges to use my superpowers on, so yes I know there will be challenges, bring them on life, I have what it takes to win every battle and even when I fall short of winning it is not that I failed, It is just a setback and comeback is inevitable.

Being a god is not going to be easy I know, but I think it is something I will have to get used to, keep learning more about and never giving up on my superpowers. I know I have so many superpowers that I need to get a hang of but I can assure you, I will, I am already on the right path. My Father is the Most High, He is got me covered and you know what, I am going to build a better relationship with Him.

You are a god too but are you ready to start acting like one?

I Just Realized I am god


Do People Change?

This is one question many of us would have asked ourselves many times, with decisions over friendship, relationship, colleagues and family requiring constant need for reassurance. Really do people change?

From the religion point of view, it is believed that when you become a believer you put away old sinful behaviours and become a new person. The Bible actually emphasized that old things pass away and all things become new. Is this true of what we have come to know? How realistic is it for someone to turn a new leaf? Especially when some consider the way we are as our nature, so if this is true then can nature change?

Some few days back, I was with my four years old son and somehow he felt I had offended him, so he decided he wasn’t playing with me again. At first, I felt it was just a 4year old kidding around. So I tried getting his attention with an apple, which happens to be his favorite fruit but he refused. Still surprised, I tried teasing him but he was just blank. Who could have taught this little boy ‘Malice 101’? I used to be like that too though that was long time ago (I think), could it be something genetically transfered? Eventually, I had to apologize and slowly he became lively again. My point in all these, is that attitude, character or behavior starts to form at a very tender age, reason it is called nature, and somehow would become who we are as we grow older. If some attitudes are learned, while others are genetically transfered, then can something so intertwined like this change? Note: I am not trying to give you reasons not to want to change!

The desire to change is not enough to bring about change, not for love, not for religion, not for regret…

Change is said to be the only constant thing in life, it will happen with or without our consent. But with people there is always this mistaking of suppression or manifestation for change. I will like to share with you instances people term as change in others and what they really are:

1. Change by New Believe or Faith or Resolution

This is a change by choice, meaning the people involved voluntarily opt to change some things just to fit into a new lifestyle. This kind of change cannot be sustained over a long period of time without an external help. You don’t just raise your hand and confess some words and then become a changed person. Yes, you may be able to suppress who you are for some few weeks but not forever. Change by faith or believe is only sustainable when you have an external help (such as the Holy Spirit or friends who share your view around you ) constantly reminding you of the decision you have made (John 12:16). No wonder, you see people become born-again today and few months after they are gradually back to their old ways.

2. Change by Love

Love is the most beautiful thing with powers way out of the ordinary but even as powerful as love is, sustainable change is not assured. I will always tell people I counsel that if your marriage or relationship is based on “he/she will change” then you have failed even before you started. When it comes to love and relationship, people will promise heaven on earth, people will tell their partner whatever he/she wants to hear just to get what they want (have sex, peace of mind, marriage etc.). However, once they have what they want, they gradually warm their way back to their old ways. The best love can get is a lover that hides his/her old ways, suppressed though but still there and anything (fight, worries, money, discontent etc.) can trigger it.

3. Change by Wealth

It is always funny to me when someone tells me, ‘Mr. A has changed because he is rich now’. No Sir! Money doesn’t change people, it only brings out (manifestation) what the person has been suppressing because he was poor. So also lack of money doesn’t make man evil, it only brings out the evil the man has been suppressing. If lack of Money makes man evil then almost everyone on the street will be evil. Riches or lack of it is like catalyst, it (makes manifest) forces out into open what someone has been hiding, the true nature. Money doesn’t change people, money makes manifest!

Change requires more than making promises or crossing the heart, there has to be a third party involved; a being, a status, a personality constantly reminding us of the choice we made.

4. Change by Regret

Many of us can attest to it that we have changed so many things over time because at a point in time we have got burnt. Naturally, we learn more from our own mistakes and we are most likely to want avoid making same mistake all over again. That’s why it is often believed that when you correct a child with punishment, you have a high probably of moulding the child as desired. This is also the premises on which corrective facilities are built (jails). However, it is not 100%, as it is difficult to change nature, especially if it involves urge, desire and greed. When people get caught they are likely to hold back for a while but if it is something propelled by urge or greed, they are most likely going back there.

5. Change by Status

When status changes, some things just become beneath you or beyond you and this can definitely lead to some attitude being suppressed and eventually lost (change). Unlike what riches do, status adds a little bit of responsibility and this can go a long way to change people. But note that what status does first is to suppress not change immediately, it is only when an attitude has been suppressed for too long that it leads to permanent change.

My Conclusion

Do people change?

Yes! People change but most people won’t, not that they don’t want to but because it is who they are and they can’t just wish that away. The desire to change is not enough to bring about change, not for love, not for religion, not for regret. Change requires more than making promises or crossing the heart, there has to be a third party involved; a being, a status, a personality constantly reminding us of the choice we made. Change won’t happen overnight no matter how committed someone is to it but with gradual suppression of what we are, we can become something new.

However, if wealth is what you are waiting for to become a changed person, trust me that won’t happen because wealth would only bring out those other things that lack of wealth has been able to suppress and the truth is if you are a bad person wealth would only make you worse.

Never base your relationship decisions on ‘hope that someone will change’, if you cannot cope with the worst someone can throw at you, then you have no business signing “forever” with the person. Whenever, you look at someone, it is best you see them for who they are and not who you hope they would be. Life has shown that there is a higher probability they remain who they are or even worse, than to change into what you hoped they will be.

Do People Change?


Connecting the Dots

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

~ Steve Jobs

When we were much younger, there was this piece of assignment that was always fun to do for me, I loved connecting dots. To me the beautiful image that came out after I was done amused me. It gave me sense of fulfilment, a kind of gratification to see what I have laboured for come out so beautiful. However, in connecting these dots, some I have to start from the rear, some times from the middle and couple of occasions the connections would look so disjointed but in the end I always seem to come out with something beautiful.
Our lives are similar to this, in raw form before the dots are fully connected it seems uninteresting and meaningless but once we are done connecting the beauty comes out and we have that sense of fulfilment. Life may seem so meaningless now, it may seem frustrating and you just want to give up but my dear friend you just need to connect the dots. The truth is, what you are going through now is part of the dots. Whatever you may have passed through were not just coincidence, they were planted in your way to lead you to where you are today, you earned them and you have every right to put them to use. 

Discovering synergistic opportunities in any area of our lives — health, career, relationships, finance and more — begins with asking ourselves questions, observing our past and current experience, and looking for patterns. You might start with questions like these:

What have been the most influential experiences of your life?

What are your natural skills, talents and fascinations ?

What educational or professional backgrounds can you draw on?

What instincts or inclinations have you followed, and which have paid off for you in the past?

What unique or unusual life experiences have you had, and what have you taken away from them?

What personal relationships, professional connections and social networks are you a part of, and which do you most enjoy?

In what environments do you feel most alive, energized or at ease?

What knowledge and perspectives can your draw on from your family heritage and cultural background?

What moments of your current life bring you the most satisfaction?

What qualifies as “fun” for you, even if it feels like “work” to others?

As you begin to look at these and other factors, you’ll begin to see a series of “dots” that define who you are, and how you are naturally wired up. You’ll see ways some dots already connect, and you’ll probably also begin to see opportunities to leverage and connect more of them more powerfully.

Bahram Akradi 2012

Connecting the dots has nothing to do with how good you are or how careful you are. It mostly depends on how you flow with the tools (skills, knowledge, past experiences etc.) you have and how you are able to interpret what you have been given (opportunities, environment, people etc.). The most successful people are not necessarily the smartest people, they are just people who were able to connect the dots. And like you they had difficulties starting but with time and perseverance, they were able to put everything together.

 You have everything you need to succeed but some how you will have to dig deep and then you will have to understand how to put them together. It is all connected; your gift, your circumstance, your purpose, your imperfections, your journey, your destiny, all connected to moulding you to becoming something great, embrace it!

​Connecting the Dots


Words Nobody Wants To Hear

So you probably don’t want to read this, if so then it is time to choose another article. But if you are ready for some hard truth then this is the article you have been looking for. So here we go:

Life is just what you make of it, the quality of efforts you put in will determine what you get out of life. Note the word “quality“! It is not hard work that makes way for success but smart work. You have to identify first which direction you want to go before you start making conscious efforts in that direction. You will see people running from one end to another like headless chickens all in the name of hard work and at the end of the day they will have nothing to show for it. Quality input is what it takes to have a first class product. Quality over quantity any day. Quality is like having depth, roots, just like with trees the deeper the roots the higher the chance of survival. When you have the depth then you can start thinking of producing more branches. Read Jordan rule

In the laziness of man, we have made so many feel good phrases to justify our idleness such as money is not everything, happiness is free, best things in life are free, I can’t fight destiny etc. These are all feel good phrases and honestly, holding on to them would only make you feel less responsible for yourself. Money is as essential as breathing, I understand we won’t all have it on the same scale but at least getting to the comfortable level is important. Nothing is free, whatever you have somehow you or someone or something paid for it. So get off your lazy behind and earn some comfort for yourself and people who depend on you.

There is nothing special about you! Yes and I mean it. You have a head, two arms and two legs just like everyone else. You are just like anyone you know, you have seen or read about. So you can try and become like the successful ones or end up like the unsuccessful ones, it is absolutely your choice. But because you are like everyone else, you can be whatever you chose to be, it means you can choose any path you desire. You might have gifts, talents, consciousness, intuition or passion that may give you edge over others or guide which footsteps to follow but whatever you make of your life will determine where you will end up. Don’t feel too special that you start hoping things would just change overnight, you would have to work for it like everyone else and if you decide not to, then you will end where most people who chose that ended.

Fairytale life do not exist. I want to believe in fairytales too but reality would just not allow that. Miracles, lucks, fortunes are products of positioning. You will have to seek if you want to find! No fairy godmother is going to pop up in your room at 23:59hrs asking you to make a wish before 00:00hrs. You will have to go after your wishes with all you have got. You will have to do your research if you want to be well positioned, you will have to pay for lies if you hope to find the truth, you will have to meet the wrong people on your way to finding the right ones. You will endure failures till you find success. Midnight wishes will not happen, most prayers will not be answered, most dreams will die before you even wake up, most ideas will not even leave the paper you jot them. All these may seem mean but trust me they are designed just to ensure only those who are ready to go the extra mile get the extraordinary.

Motivational speakers would want to give you the impression that having dreams is all that matters, this is a lie! There are lots of dreamers in the world yet few achievers. It is not good enough to have dreams, you must be willing and able to bring them to life through consistent and coordinated actions. People want to sit back and read success stories, and at the end of it, they want to claim it without working for it. Nope! It doesn’t work that way. You will have to get up and swing to action; set goals and achieve them, approach people for assistance and some will turn you down but you won’t stop, you will hit brick walls and you will still have to find a way to push through it. It is not about the size of your dream but about how far you are willing to go to see your dream come to live. 

What is lost can never be regained; opportunities, trust, first impression and so on. I believe in second chance but nothing beats making the best of your first chance. No matter how well you have repented it cannot be the same. Opportunity lost can’t be regained, you can get something better, something similar but not same thing and if against all odds you get same thing it can’t be same time (time is irreversible). And when you let people down, it is never going to be the same again. The import of this is that you should take nothing for granted, do everything possible to give your best at the first time of asking; in life choices, creating impressions, relationships, career, business, loyalty and in friendship. 

“New year new resolution”, trust me that’s just another crap we tell ourselves to delay/postpone what must be done. You don’t have to wait till a new day, a Monday or a new year to start something new. In fact you are better-off starting immediately you realize what must be done. People who have changed the course of history didn’t wait till Monday to start, they started the moment they realized what must be done. Most ideas die because we delay starting, that wait kills our morale, passion and burning desire to achieve results. ” Delay is deadly” when it comes to starting something new and changing your game. If you have a dream start as soon as you wake up, no delays.

Lastly, you have to know that no emotion or feeling or situation is forever. Whatever it is, good or bad, happiness or sadness it is ephemeral. Your situation is only for a while, it could either get better or worse depending on whether you choose to do something or nothing. If you are happy now, there will be time you would be unhappy, if you are so much in love now a time will come when you will question your feelings, it is normal, it is the way life is wired. It is now left to you to choose what your reactions will be on those gloomy days when you are not so sure of who you are or what you want. Don’t beat yourself up over situations you couldn’t have prevented, don’t be too hard on yourself for things you can’t change, but if there is/are something(s) you can do to make life better for yourself never hesitate to do it/them. 

Life is so worth holding on to especially when you remember you don’t know what lies at the other side, though our life is borrowed, without a doubt we will all pay back that debt. So dear, make your life count for something, let your living be felt even by the generations yet to come. Play, work, have fun, get serious, make money, get fame, take risks, stay safe and above all touch lives!

Words Nobody Wants To Hear

Your problems or The Solutions?

Where should your focus be; Your problems or The Solutions?

Easily many of us would say the focus should be on the solutions and not the problems but how practicable is this for most of us?

Problems are often the defining moments of our individual life. They are points we would be required to make complex decisions, getting off our comfort zone, having to mend ways with our enemies, some times turn against friends and family, and other times it’s just simply going against the odds.

The funny thing about problems is that when you hold your problem up like it is one big insurmountable mountain, it turns out to be so but the moment you understand you can beat the odds, you start seeing Solutions. In variably, we cannot take our eyes off the problem however our attitude should reflect positivity if we want solutions and the moment we have the solutions we should be about it.

I remember a story my dad once told me, He said;

Long time ago, there was famine (problem) in the animal kingdom and all the animals became lean and many where dying of hunger. They had a meeting and all the young animals, after much lamentation and bickering (focusing on the problem), decided that to survive they should kill all the old animals and eat (at this point they have concluded that the famine would not end and they have to live for the moment at least). However, the tortoise had other plans. The tortoise sent its own mother into another land where there was no famine (solution). While others had killed every of their parents, and finally resigned to “fate”, the tortoise kept surviving from the food its mother was sending from the other land.

As funny as this story was to me then, I learned that no matter how big and complex a problem is, somewhere somehow there is an equally suitable solution, I just have to find.

Here is another fact, because majority have failed to see the solution doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Seeing the solution like I earlier said depends on your attitude to the problem; are you focused on how insurmountable the problem is or on finding a long term solution.

It is easy to focus on the problem and complain to everyone who cares to listen, in fact you will get many “likes” and “comments” for this on social media but it would never change a thing only or at best give a temporal relief.

You have a whole lot of life ahead of you, be smart focus on the life ahead not your problems. Problems come and go, some you will have solutions to others you would just have to outlast or outlive. Your life is precious, please make it count.


I Wish I Knew These Years Back

Life is a learning curve, we learn new things and unlearn old obsolete things. When we stop learning, we stop growing and some have even argued that we stop being productive. As much as we learn on daily basis, some knowledge or information we have them a little too late; I am sure most of us are familiar with instances like that. Imagine if you had the information with certainty 1year ago what value of Bitcoin would be this year; you would be in thousands if not millions not by now. That’s how precious having the right information the right time can be.

You are wondering now, how far you could have gone too, right? If only you had known a thing or two earlier. Well, it could be really painful especially when you imagine the impact it could have had on your business, relationship, career, academics and so on.

So here are few things I wish I knew years back:

1. Irrespective of what I do, I will succeed

Success is a product of sustained hard work and sometimes a bit of fortune. I wish I knew this earlier in life, especially the part of “sustained hard work”. Over the years, I have made it an habit to work on a project for a while and once I stopped getting my desired result, I abandon it and start another. I don’t sustain anything, I tell myself I have lots of ideas why tie myself down to what is not working. But now I know better, whatever I do, I will succeed, I just have to sustain it long enough till success finds me. Be it white-collar job, self employment, entrepreneur, intrepreneur, talent use, skill use, artistic or instructive whichever it is so long as I can sustain it, I will succeed.

2. The only time money grows is when it is invested

Investment is key, I have heard people say this over a gazillion times, but me? Always scared, I rather have a safe Naira (Nigerian currency) than risk making it four by investing. I think the problem is I prefer certainty. However, recently, I realized that life itself is a risk, a safe Naira won’t grow in value nor volume, and to be fair what’s the use of idle cash that cannot grow. Investment is not just a word thrown around by bookies, it is a word I need to practice, if I truly want to make a fortune. Damn, I wish I realized this earlier.

3. I don’t need people’s approval

I have missed many breaks because I was too conscious of people’s reaction. People will talk alright and I know this, in fact I understand even when you do nothing they will still talk but one thing I have not been able to over come is what would friends and family say if they know I did this. The feeling was that of needing their approval before I can do something meaningful with my life. Oh, how I got that wrong all this while! I need nobody’s approval, my friends and family might find it difficult to accept what I have chosen to become, mostly out of love but in due time when they see how meaningful, it all turned out, they will celebrate me for love. You know what, approval is overrated amongst other things especially here in the west, thereby killing talents, ideas, innovations and all that big English words that stimulate success. Don’t say “really”, just go with your inspired thoughts.

4. Relationship is overrated at early 20s

20s is that age when love and sacrifice get a little too confusing. You can bet I had my own fair share of the confusion. Killing big ideas, ignoring lifetime opportunities and taking off course decisions just because I want to be around someone I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with unfortunately at the wrong age. Seriously, love is something way off control and has a way of taking the power to decide from our head and giving it to our heart, not that bad till the love expires and we start seeing things we have lost because of those bad calls (raise your hand if you can relate). To make matters worse, we find a new love and we make same wrong decisions all over again. Ooh 20s! Relationship should be adding value and enhancing personal growth. Not that because my goals would put distance between us then I should abandon them, rather we should find a way to still love in spite of the distance, that is if we truly love in the first place. 20s you just get fond of someone you are close to, when they are gone you miss them the get close to another and the cycle continues; this cycle is not worth giving up your dreams for.

5. Friends with purpose are scarce

We make friends at different stages of life; the good, the bad and the ugly. Some we wonder how we even met (someone’s name came to mind right?), while others we wonder why we had to let them go (that one person you so missed). What I have come to realize is that true friends may be scare but friends with purpose are even rarer. What friends can do in one’s life cannot be overemphasized, many great names became great because they met friends with purpose while some people can only sit back and watch friends they have lost mount podium of greatness. I have been a victim of the latter but now I am wiser, to know who to hold on to and which friend to keep at arm’s length.

6. Spiritual is as important as physical

Growing up, my mum would always say “whatever is manifesting in the physical (reality) already took place in the Spiritual realm”, how I wished I had harken to that Woman’s words. Not too long ago, I finally realized that before swinging of swords there must be lifting of hands, before I can take control of the physical, I must first ensure my Spiritual life is on the right track. I understand if you find it difficult to agree with this, I used to be like you but in due time, it will all make sense. You may want to argue that many successful people don’t really have a spiritual life but I will also have you know that there is a big difference between wealthy and successful. Read my article “I don’t want to be successful” for clarification.

7. Success is the best revenge

If you knew me way back then you will know how vengeful I can be, I once inserted pins into my sister’s covered shoes just to get back at her for reporting me. I keep malice and I used to believe in tit for tat (the Mosaic Rule). Now a wiser me knows better, when you think people have offended you, don’t spend your valuable time on plotting how to get even rather disappoint them by not stooping low to their level. Use your valuable time to work on yourself. If you are the type that gets very angry, convert that anger into hunger for success (energy may be beyond destruction but can be converted), let the humiliation that you feel propel you to the point that you just want to amount to something big in life. I have also come to understand that people who hate on you get shattered when you finally succeed, so why deny them that devastation when all you have to do is just succeed.

8. Start first then worry about the problems after

I am a perfectionist, I love to have everything well spelt out before I engage in anything. As much as I love this about me, I have also learned that it is less effective when it comes to being an entrepreneur. There are many dreams I have conceived and abandoned almost immediately because I can’t see pass the problems of starting, the thing is I worry far too much about everything. But now I know better, if it is a dream then I will go after it, end of story! I will start first and ask questions after, I will jump then figure out landing afterwards. I think success is a risk on its own and what fun is life if I expect everything to be perfect.

9. Suck up but don’t give up

Pride goes before a fall, is already a cliché. We were raised to be humble, respectful and honest. I think we were raised right but something was left out of all these. They forget to tell us mean people will most likely have what we desire and to get it we will have to suck up to them and endure all the insults and disappointments, till we have what we want from them. I wish I knew this earlier, I can only imagine how far I would have gone if I had endure some rude bosses, crazy customers, cocky intellects, dare devil idealists etc, these people had at one time or another held the key to what I seek and I could have taken it from them if I had just been a little good at sucking up.

10. No one really cares

I have been really shy to try some things over the years or do I say I have been critical of what people will think. Now I see people pulling off those ideas and being celebrated. Little did I know that no one really cares about how you made it, there might be tongues wagging while you are at it but the moment results starts flying in their account of you would start changing. Success changes view! No idea is below your standard, it is what you make of it that sets the standard. Really there are no new ideas just old ideas presented in new enticing forms. I for one can’t be discouraged with initial comments; colleagues may think I can do better than this, family may think I had more prospects than this, friends may think this is a new low for me but when the results starting rolling in my favour, they will to do their rethink.

11. It is okay to ask for help

Many times I need help but somehow I tell myself I can still manage. Maybe I was shy, maybe it was pride, maybe I was scared of people telling me “NO”, whatever my reasons were at the time, I don’t think they were worth not knowing what could have been. Now when I need help I will ask, when I need information I will probe, when I need guidance I will seek. The only way you see further is to stand on the shoulders of someone taller. I am tired of wondering what the response could have been.

So bring it on, life!

Now I know better, and I am ready to do things better, I am putting all my past experiences into good use. I deserve better and I know it. So I won’t just sit around and hope things will change, I will make them change. I won’t keep doing things the old way and expect a new result, I will change my ways. I earned my experience from my past mistakes and hideous believes now is time to prove that I have learned and I am willing to rise because I have paid the price. So do you!

I Wish I Knew These Years Back



Many times we must have asked ourselves this question but again I put it to you, “who is it (life) all about?”

Is it about you?

Your friends?

Your family?

Your job?

Or your God?

You may take some time to reflect before you answer me.

Whichever your answer is, you are right because It is how you feel at this moment and probably your past experiences, after all, “we are a product of our past, a brand of our today and the advert of our future”.

Growing up, we were often advised by our parents to be serious and stay focused, then it seemed as if it was all about our parents, the family. In school and other social gatherings, we wanted to feel among (friends), be associated with the best click, it felt like life was about our friends. Working now we want to outshine colleagues, make a name for ourselves, so life seems all about (us) you. In church or mosque, you hear sermons, they talk about God, what He can do and His expectations, at this point life seems all about God.

But hear is what I believe. Our life is about making things work, putting smiles on the faces of people around us and not giving up even when everything seem awkward. When you touch lives, when you make positive changes, when you stand for something, when you ensure that you do your best to make things work, when you follow your dreams and become an inspiration to others, then you would have justified living.

Your life is about everything that matters to you, your life is about making your dreams happen and making your life count. You don’t want to just exist, you want to live and impact, and live so good that stories of you would go on for generations even after you are gone.

Give it (life) a bigger shot; it is never too late to try again. “Know that if it is not working yet then you have not given it your best and if it is working, there is always room for improvement”.

Originally published May 1, 2011



Dear Friend,

I will not tell you I understand how you feel because the truth is only you understand how it hurts but this I can assure you, you are strong enough to make it through. Maybe you feel weak right now, maybe you are tired, a little hug here and a little love there may be all you think you have been living off for a while but I believe it only takes a strong spirit to have come this far. I know it hurts so much and you feel you can’t share, I can relate because your silence says a lot. I wish there is more I can do to let you see what I see in you.

I see is a Sun at dawn, even though it is still shielded by the thick dark cloud, soon there will come a time when nothing can stop its shine.

Most times life would not give us what we deserve, by a longshot we might be far from what we believe should be our reality or where we think we should be but that is life. The humiliation, the stigma and the “bitter after taste” might be too much to bear, this I understand is not easy but I also know many have come from the grave dark to grace the stardom lights.

Opera Winfrey was raped repeatedly for years, got pregnant and lost the baby. It seemed she was in that darkest place where no one can come out of but somehow she never gave up. Today, her light shines brighter everyday while guiding others to the light.

Joyce Meyer suffered abuse, molestation and rape from her own father for several years. She said those were her darkest hours but then she didn’t give in to those hours. God’s love found her and today she is touching lives with her story.

Steve Jobs was ‘fired’ from his own company ‘Apple’ by someone he hired but he didn’t give up, he didn’t let anger, feeling of being betrayed and quest for vengeance cloud his judgement. He built another company called NEXT and through that he was able to get back into Apple.

You may have been humiliated by people you trusted, people you thought you could count on through thick and thin but then life is a war with many battles, you may have lost several battles up till now but I can assure you the war is not over. So long as you don’t let depression bring the worst out of you, like a wounded lion, inch by inch, you can claw your way back into this fight.

It is easy to think revenge will set you free, this I will not stop you from especially when it seems your mind is all made up but here is a fact I know, no good thing comes from being vengeful. When you hold on to hate, revenge, or bitterness, it is like trying to smite someone who hurt you with hot iron rod in your bare hands, whether you succeed or not, you would have burned your own hands in the process. My honest advice, let it go! It won’t be easy but it is the right thing to do, let karma do her work and you concentrate on building your life a piece at a time.

Death may seem a way out, but suicide is for cowards. The brave would rather die fighting than commit suicide. You are brave my friend, I see so much life in you, even through the thick cloud, I believe your Sun will still get its turn to shine. I know you probably expect more from people but there is so little anyone can do, honestly. As much as I want to assure you things will be alright, there is just little I can offer you but my words. People may seem less concerned but that is not totally true, there is more than meets the eye; most people are also struggling with things they would rather not talk about, yet they wear the smile of ‘all is well’. However, after all said and done, never forget to reach out. It is easier to fight life’s battles when you have someone to rub minds with.

You are not alone in this struggle. It is a phase and it will pass. It is okay to be confused, it is human to feel insecure and unsure, these only remind us that we are not perfect; and nobody is perfect. You can ask questions or just do it anyway. Don’t give up on yourself on the account of how life has treated you, remember only the test of fire makes a fine steel. I believe in you my friend, I believe your light can still find its way through this thick cloud. Your past don’t define you, you are wiser, you are braver, you have all it takes; dig deep!

Letter to My Depressed Friend


Not That I Don’t Have Faith

Faith is a very common word use in different sects of spiritual believes to inspire one thing, and that is HOPE. The root word from which we get ‘faith, the noun is PISTIS, the verb is PISTUEO. FAITH – PISTIS means belief, firm persuasion, assurance, firm conviction, faithfulness to which an end is assured. Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see (NLT). Faith has an aura of light at the end of the tunnel written all over it but with many questions about what happens before the light comes.

Does faith fail? Yes it does! But why?

Faith is one word we misuse obviously because most of us don’t really understand how it works. Note this, you can have faith and still fail, do you know why? Faith has some terms and conditions attached to it. Faith can’t work in a vacuum, it needs some condiments to make it deliver.

Elisha and the Widow’s Oil
A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the LORD. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.”
So Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” And she said, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”
Then he said, “Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels; do not gather just a few. And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it into all those vessels, and set aside the full ones.”
So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out. Now it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, “Bring me another vessel.”
And he said to her, “ There is not another vessel.” So the oil ceased. Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debt; and you and your sons live on the rest.”

Reference 2 Kings 4: 1-7 (NKJV)

Faith would only work well, when you fulfill your own part of the bargain, when you make available certain atmospheres for it to flourish. There 3 basic things you need to make your faith work for you;

1. Believe: You have to believe in something of higher significance; believe in God, His Son, His prophets, in possibilities and importantly in yourself. The widow took the words of Elisha and acted on them because she believed. She most likely had many questions but she was able to shut those questions and scepticism up because she believed not only in the God of Elisha but also in Elisha and the possibilities of miracles. Science has revealed that there is a part of the brain known as the “God Spot”, and its main function is to aide our believe system, and that is why everyone believes in something; that part of the brain must be filled. So it now depends on you as a person to determine what would fill that space in your brain. But if faith is what you throw around and rely on, then you will have to fill the God Spot with God.

2. Be ready to follow instructions: For faith to work, instructions have to be followed. There would be certain things that would be required of you depending on what you are exercising faith on, and you will have to do them for your faith to work. For instance, if you are trusting God for a new job you will have to apply or make your availability known to people, if you are trusting God for a child you will have to have a man to copulate with, if you are trusting God for financial empowerment you will have to meet people and so on that’s how it works. Elisha gave the widow instructions and she followed them to the letter, faith would require you to follow instructions, to be obedient and be detailed. Remember, the story of the Fishermen and Jesus, they had tried all night long but they caught nothing. When Jesus came into the picture he asked them to throw in their net one more time; that was an explicit instruction. Yes! It was the same water, in fact the same spot they had tried all night long but then they had to obey that instruction and the result was abundance of fishes. One could have expected Jesus to command fishes to start raining from the sky but No! there are processes to life, you have to do certain things before certain things can happen.

3. You would have to Work your Faith: Faith without Work is dead (FwWD). There are no shortcuts, if you don’t work for anything you can’t earn something and it is the same with God. With faith comes work, they go together. The widow had to do the pouring of the oil, that’s work you know? Have you tried filling a bottle with oil before? Trust me, just one bottle can be exhausting not to talk of filling many pots. Many people will tell you they have faith yet they are not ready to put their best efforts forward; my brothers and my sisters, it doesn’t work that way. Even the woman with the issue of blood had to work her way through the crowd to get to Jesus, before she could exercise her faith. In scheme of things, it is usually Faith Work Faith then Result. Let me point this out, most people’s faith gets disappointed because they hoped faith would work without them working. Remember, there are processes in life; even luck requires some real work of positioning.

Don’t throw the word “faith” around in ignorance and oblivion of what is required of you. Fulfill your own part, be diligent about it, follow instructions and be steadfast in believe. It might take a while before you see the results but trust me it will be worth every second you spent waiting. God can do beyond your expectations, keep trusting, keep hoping, something beautiful is coming your way.

Not That I Don’t Have Faith