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Look Closely

Look closely, you will find your game changer!

– @selahsomeone

Your life may seem to be in shambles, nothing seems to be working according to plans and you just want to throw in the towel and resign to fate. Or you just don’t see a way out of your current predicament and you think this is the end of everything good. I have this words for you today, “look closely!”

Look closely at your current situation, maybe some lame choices got you here but if you pay attention to what you have learned you can make better choices going forward. You can turn around your lessons into blessings, building from the pieces of what is left of you, making your experiences into a springboard, and a platform for something others can learn from. Many people have come off scenarios crazier than this and you too can but you will have to take a closer look.

I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.
– Marla Gibbs

Look closely at what you still have in your favour and how you can make them count for something great. No matter how bad things are, there will always be some positives, it just takes a closer look to figure them out. Identity these positives and how you can use them to get your life back together; your contacts, your friends, your goodwill, your faith, your free time, the fact that you still can breathe these are few of the many positives you still have, don’t hesitate to explore them.

Sentiment some times obscure our views, so much we lose hope, we get emotional about what we have lost; heartbreaks and the time we have wasted, the passion that went unrewarded and the investments that failed to yield, all these can leave even the strongest of us shattered. But when we look beyond the grief of the moment and the remains of our disappointment, we will see the dawn that is about to break before us. It is said that when one thing ends another begins. Look closely!

There are over 7 billion people on this planet, I am sure you have not met up to 700’000 people which is far less than 1%, and you think you can’t find someone who shares your dream or a way out your current situation? Think again! Take another look at what new skills and talents you have acquired over these few years, explore them market yourself to the world that is waiting. Don’t be shy be about what you desire, people will talk, make jest of you, even rubbish your efforts but then other people will buy into it, some will finance, most will be motivated by it and eventually it will pay off.

Look Closely

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But You Once Loved Her

Behavioural scientists have confessed that humans are the most difficult living thing to understand, as simple as rationality can be defined when it comes to application it is a different story entirely. Take for instance this sequence; love, relationship and family, this kind of looks like the way to go, right? Rationality also presupposes that if this is the sequence then it should endure.

Recently, I was drawn into a case of domestic violence where the husband vowed to kill the wife if she doesn’t move out with the kids. The wife insisted on holding on to her home and she ended up in the hospital almost in a coma. Then what I could not comprehend is how love can turn to hate overnight or how man’s best friend can become his sworn enemy in just few years.

I know love is one crazy topic with a bizarre measurement that varies from one person to another. Some measure on the strength of affection while others measure it on the strength of companionship and few religious people measure it on the strength of spiritual compatibility. However, no matter what strength it was measured, none is fool proof.

I remember my last relationship in the University, this lady was very caring but as caring as she was, when she was angry she becomes destructive. Knowing that about her, I ensured no misunderstanding went too far. However, one day a lady called my line, this was late 2003 just when GSM came to Nigeria and Motorola Blade was like the latest Samsung Galaxy S series. I was out and left my phone behind, so she picked my call on hearing the caller’s (a lady) voice, and I think they exchanged few words or so, I heard a smashing sound, I ran back inside to find my beloved phone in pieces. Before I could come up with the questions, she charged at me shouting “who is that lady that called you?” A part of me wanted to ask what happened but the other furious part took over and I slapped her like twice or so. She held my shirt, pushing and shoving, and screaming “oya kill me because of her”.

This was the only time I raised my hands against a woman, and believe me till date that memory scares me. I understand some situations can provoke one into acting out several bottled emotions but should love become hate? We could make several arguments why lovers can fight but I don’t think there is a sufficient reason for them to become enemies. Hate is such a strong word to use on someone, talk less of acting it out.

But you once loved her, why would you hate her so much till the point you want to beat her or maim her. She might have wronged you but does killing her compensate for all she has done? My mother used to tell me that it is only a weak man that beats a woman. There are many other ways to correct people, especially someone you love, in the family you correct in love; your children, your wife and your house assistants.

Why love could turn to hate?

In my counseling experience, I understand there are a number of reasons why hate could reign in place of love. So I have tried to compress those reasons as much as possible into these five below

Provocation: No matter how much you love someone and how compatible you are, there would always be personal differences, learn to resolve them amicably. A wise man once told me, “if you can’t apologize for being right, then you are not ready for marriage”. Women are like raw eggs, if you try too hard to clean it, you will break it. I know as men you are hoping to mould your woman into what you want but you have to understand that in other to make her what you want, you will have to bend to what she wants too, if not provocations will set in.

Don’t sleep on an argument: If you want to keep your relationship then you must be ready to lose arguments. I concede arguments to my wife not because I don’t know what else to say but because I don’t want a win that would leave bitter taste in the home. Whenever there is an argument, end it before it ends your love, if possible change the topic and let it go. As man, you want to believe winning an argument shows your superiority in the house but trust me it only shows how selfish you are and overtime it will create a rebellious wife.

Comparison: Comparison is the easiest way to kill feelings. An adage says “when you compare kids, you will beat one to death”. No two people are the same and you can’t expect one to be like another. Honestly, we see women outside and we wish dear wife is just like someone else maybe in terms of dressing, cleanliness, care giving, being romantic, being supportive etc. But we should also know that there are many other things dear wife has that these other women don’t have. And at that age, it is hardly possible to reshape anyone but we can learn to accept what we have.

The other woman: Being a man doesn’t make it right to cheat, honestly. I know that, it is harsh but we know it is true. Yes we might want to argue it is a man’s world but then we should not give what we can’t take. Seriously, we men are the most jealous and yet we expect our wives to live with the fact that we cheat; they will fight back, it is just the natural order of life. The other woman will create a war in our family, it is not worth it especially when we think of all the possible outcomes.

Man conquest mentality: To most men, life is just one conquest after another; “set a goal, achieve it and move to another” syndrome. When we do this with family, we tend to neglect the people we love. Unlike common goals who don’t have feelings, wife does and when you think you have other priorities like making more money at the expense of giving attention to dear wife, you are creating a template for hate.

Getting married is beyond a to-do-list that you achieve and just tick off, marriage is like a seed you plant, you have to keep nurturing it till it fully blossoms and even after that you must always be there to keep it flourishing.

On no account should a man lift his hands against a woman; wife, sister, mother, friend, maid or even stranger. It is against all what being the head stands for, there are many ways to resolve conflicts or punish disobedience. The first to result to violence is always the weakest and that shouldn’t be you, you are better than that. People respond better to dialogue and empathy, those should be your greatest weapons. Love is understanding, that and more is what dear wife really craves for don’t deny her what you willingly promised her before marriage, be the man you have vowed to be.

Share this with a man!

But You Once Loved Her

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Please Don’t Judge Me Wrong

I have my own ways, however they may not be what you are used to but so far they have worked for me. I may not be where you think I should be but trust me, I am not where I used to be. I make my choices and I have learned to live by their consequences. I want to improve but on my own terms, I want to see my dreams come to life but at my own time. Sorry if I come to you as a disappointment but soon you will give testimonies of how you met me.

My methods are not conventional, I don’t use the orthodox approach, being a conformist is not who I am, I may come to you as being lazy but I still get the job done. I may not yield to rules or bind my actions to general principles but I live by my codes. Don’t judge me based on your ideals, you are not the standard I live by. Your truth may not be my truth because we have different facts about living. You and I have a different path to take and a different part to play, so because something works for you doesn’t make it a must for me. I am me!

Don’t judge my faith, my passion, my relationship or my lifestyle they are all part of me, my experience and the way I have come to terms with life. If you truly love me, lead by example and if I am convinced I might follow you. I am not inferior because of the colour of my skin, my background or my level of education, they are no limits to what I can become and I have embraced that fact, so just you know, I have big dreams too.

Please don’t judge me because I don’t measure up to what you expect, I am still growing and I believe I still have enough time to be who I am destined to be. I have my dreams, I have set my goals, I know my mission, they may not be as big as you might have imagined them but this works for me. They will grow as I grow, they will become bigger as I nurture them and maybe you would come to learn a few things too about starting small.

I love who I am, don’t try to change me, don’t measure me on your own scale of perfection. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be measured but against who I was yesterday and who I can become tomorrow. Just as I have accepted you for who you are, do same for me. Watch me take shape, I will stumble but I will pick myself up, I may have my heart shattered but be sure I will pick up the pieces and move on.

I enjoy it when you share your thoughts with me, I learn and I adjust some things about me but when you pass judgement, the lessons become lost in the resentment. I am like the proverbial square peg in the round hole, I may not fit in but I am indispensable, please don’t judge me wrong.

Please Don’t Judge Me Wrong

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I Hate Him And I Hate Who I Am Becoming

This is a story of a young man who found out he can’t run away from who he is becoming. I will share with you this story as written by this fellow, please read, digest, make your own conclusions and if possible, drop your comments for others to learn from.

Happy reading!


Dear Selah,

Thank you for accepting to share my story. I know this is not where my story ends but I am sure there are many others who are silently going through similar experience and I just want to use mine to give them comfort and let them know they are not alone, the same feel I got when I read your article “I don’t want to be successful”.

I hated my dad because he was never around. He was basically preoccupied with work. We only get to see him once in a month and even when he was around, he was like a terror in the house, no one seems to know how to do anything right, even mom. He provided for us that I cannot lie about, when we needed money he was always there, we had a driver to take us to school and we got the best of things except a daddy. Now my father is old and he wants us around him but there has been a disconnect over the years, that somehow we have not been able to overcome that hatred we had for him while growing up.

Years, gone by now and I am also a father with three kids and I work away from my family. Due to the nature of my job, I only have Sundays to myself and public holidays. I am always away from my young family and I try to make it up to them by providing for all their financial needs. I ensure my kids go to the best school I can afford and my wife too, I try to give her the best, a car of her choice, good monthly allowance even though she works and gifts from time to time just to show her how much she means to me.

Some weeks ago, it was during the Christmas break, I overheard my kids arguing. The youngest was asking the oldest, “who is our daddy?”. This came as a shock to me, is it not obvious? Then the eldest’s response made me shiver, he said, “I think it is that man that comes during holidays”. I could argue all I can that it is because they are still young (8, 6 and 4years) but the truth is I am becoming what my father was to us, “a father and not a dad”.

Selah, that night I had a heart to heart talk with my wife and when she unbottled, I realized money can’t replace being around, and as much as they need comfort, they need me around. Today, I am still trying to find a way round it but I make sure I am around every weekend at least till I am able to find a permanent solution.

I know many families are going through this same issue, I just want to advise fathers like me; money can’t replace your role as a daddy and don’t think your kids will understand because you tell yourself you are doing it because of them. And even when your wife seems understanding, there is a lot bottled up inside of her because nothing can replace you being around.

Thanks for all your articles, selah, you are making a big difference.

I Hate Him And I Hate Who I Am Becoming

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Trade off to Success

“To get one thing that you like, you have to give up another thing that you like.”

Some will say you can’t eat your cake and have it, if you have eaten it then it is gone; the irony of life. The cost of something is what you give up to get it, the cost of building your own dream is to give up building another man’s dream.

Unfortunately, most of us want to eat our cake and have it. We want to party all night and still excel in the exam we write in the morning; we want to live in sin yet enjoy unlimited Grace; we want to lay idle yet except something to happen; we want to stay in bed and hope success will find us there… To have what we desire most we have to give up what we desire least. It is called sacrifice or trade off.

Winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the trade-off they’re making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that’s the difference.
Lou Holtz

Trading off is not an easy thing to do, losing what you desire is never fun, no matter how small it seems but the truth is that it will be worth it. It takes discipline for someone to give up what he is enjoying at moment just for the sake of what he is to enjoy in some distant future, a discipline many of us lack and the reason it has been difficult to change our status.

What are those things you need to give up to be able to focus on your goals? Deep down you know you have to let some things go, you have to avoid some sets of people and stop taking advice from some group of friends. These are little inconveniences you will have to bear if you desire to reach those goals. Trade offs are must on your route to success and a stitch in time saves nine!

Trade off to Success

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Embrace Who You Are

Sometimes, however, there’s no one around to give you that hug you need. When you’re having a bad day, experiencing some sort of pain, or simply craving a bit of affection, why not give some love to yourself? … Mimic the pressure that you feel when you get a reassuring bear hug.

There is so much to you than meets the eye. True, you may not have figured out all about yourself but you can still build on the little you know. Don’t let people shut you down just because they don’t like the way you speak or your kind of ideas. Don’t let people put you down because you are not what they expect. Don’t shrink just because you want to make someone feel comfortable around you. Don’t become someone else because someone close does not like your kind of person. It is who you are, embrace it and make the best of it.

You have to stop apologizing for who you are. You can’t keep denying what your passions are, no matter who is misunderstanding what matters to you. You should be your own number one fan, no one should love you more than you love yourself. Your line of thoughts may seem very odd, don’t be shy to stand by what you think is real, be proud of your views. You may not have as much insights as others do but that doesn’t mean you are not capable of something more meaningful. There is a You in there, embrace it.

You can learn, learning is not beyond you. You can improve on your current self that is the idea of living but never let anyone take away your values and what you believes. These are your identity, fight to keep them, they are who you are, protect them with your life. You are special never let anyone tell you otherwise, even when people fail to see why, never doubt yourself. They will surely come around, each one bearing gifts when you fully form.

Photo Credit: Hugging Myself
by escaped-emotions

Love yourself, no one will do that right for you. Don’t let your head down less others will look down on you. Humility is good but do it with pride, self-belief, self-love, good self-esteem and unshaken desire to excel in all things. You are your own greatest ally, cast away all doubts and trust your instincts, listen to your heart and pay close attention to your mood. They are all part of your making, even when your eyes fail to see they will keep you safe and on track.

Make it all about you, when you learn to love yourself as you should, loving others won’t be a problem. This will impact on your friendship and relationship; it takes a complete you to complement another. You have got so much within you; talent, gift, wisdom, thoughts, passion… loving yourself is all you need to amplify all these. Don’t fail the You inside, embrace who you are and watch life get less complicated.

Embrace Who You Are

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I Just Realized I am god

I said, “You are gods, And all of you are sons of the Most High. – King David

A man’s strength is in his understanding of his potential. When you know the kind of power you possess you can know what battles you are equipped to fight. I made a shocking discovery today, I just realized I am a god!

I am god, this is not blasphemy this is reality, a reality that works base on my faith and not yours (so you don’t have to believe me for it to become my reality). By the way, I am still trying to wrap my head around what this means though but with all the movies I have seen about gods; god of Egypt, Odyssey, Zeus, Thor, clash of the Titians etc., I guess this must mean something great. To put the icing on the cake, I was also called the son of the Most High, wow! I own this world, man! I am really excited!

So here are few facts I have been able to gather about my new status:

A god never fears what is to come, as a god I create my future. This means I can’t be afraid to take on my dreams. I have got what it takes to make them come true. My future is mine to create, I write my own story, so no ill-fated experience can stop me. I am god, my worries should be kneeling before me, my uncertainties should tremble at the hearing of my voice. I should be ruling over my thoughts and controlling my words while guarding jealously what I allow into my life.

A god has no room for negative thoughts, complaints and regrets. So friends with negative words and feedbacks better watch out, you all may have to go. I shouldn’t be complaining about anything, I should be decreeing and watch them come to pass. And regrets? Na not me, I should give my best at all times, really it is beneath a god to be ordinary, so as a god, if I am going to do anything, it would sure be my best efforts.

I have the power to heal, to love and to empower others. What good is power if others can’t feel it? Being god means I have to impact on others, show love like never before, heal the brokenhearted and empower the powerless. Touch lives through my words, change lives through my actions, be a blessing to others as I become blessed beyond words after all I am a god, I am blessed already.

I have powers to set goals, to take on new challenges and to fulfill purpose. Like seriously, I should have purpose right? Not just waking, eating and sleeping like some animal, I should have something more to me than just existing. Being god won’t be interesting without having challenges to use my superpowers on, so yes I know there will be challenges, bring them on life, I have what it takes to win every battle and even when I fall short of winning it is not that I failed, It is just a setback and comeback is inevitable.

Being a god is not going to be easy I know, but I think it is something I will have to get used to, keep learning more about and never giving up on my superpowers. I know I have so many superpowers that I need to get a hang of but I can assure you, I will, I am already on the right path. My Father is the Most High, He is got me covered and you know what, I am going to build a better relationship with Him.

You are a god too but are you ready to start acting like one?

I Just Realized I am god

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Do People Change?

This is one question many of us would have asked ourselves many times, with decisions over friendship, relationship, colleagues and family requiring constant need for reassurance. Really do people change?

From the religion point of view, it is believed that when you become a believer you put away old sinful behaviours and become a new person. The Bible actually emphasized that old things pass away and all things become new. Is this true of what we have come to know? How realistic is it for someone to turn a new leaf? Especially when some consider the way we are as our nature, so if this is true then can nature change?

Some few days back, I was with my four years old son and somehow he felt I had offended him, so he decided he wasn’t playing with me again. At first, I felt it was just a 4year old kidding around. So I tried getting his attention with an apple, which happens to be his favorite fruit but he refused. Still surprised, I tried teasing him but he was just blank. Who could have taught this little boy ‘Malice 101’? I used to be like that too though that was long time ago (I think), could it be something genetically transfered? Eventually, I had to apologize and slowly he became lively again. My point in all these, is that attitude, character or behavior starts to form at a very tender age, reason it is called nature, and somehow would become who we are as we grow older. If some attitudes are learned, while others are genetically transfered, then can something so intertwined like this change? Note: I am not trying to give you reasons not to want to change!

The desire to change is not enough to bring about change, not for love, not for religion, not for regret…

Change is said to be the only constant thing in life, it will happen with or without our consent. But with people there is always this mistaking of suppression or manifestation for change. I will like to share with you instances people term as change in others and what they really are:

1. Change by New Believe or Faith or Resolution

This is a change by choice, meaning the people involved voluntarily opt to change some things just to fit into a new lifestyle. This kind of change cannot be sustained over a long period of time without an external help. You don’t just raise your hand and confess some words and then become a changed person. Yes, you may be able to suppress who you are for some few weeks but not forever. Change by faith or believe is only sustainable when you have an external help (such as the Holy Spirit or friends who share your view around you ) constantly reminding you of the decision you have made (John 12:16). No wonder, you see people become born-again today and few months after they are gradually back to their old ways.

2. Change by Love

Love is the most beautiful thing with powers way out of the ordinary but even as powerful as love is, sustainable change is not assured. I will always tell people I counsel that if your marriage or relationship is based on “he/she will change” then you have failed even before you started. When it comes to love and relationship, people will promise heaven on earth, people will tell their partner whatever he/she wants to hear just to get what they want (have sex, peace of mind, marriage etc.). However, once they have what they want, they gradually warm their way back to their old ways. The best love can get is a lover that hides his/her old ways, suppressed though but still there and anything (fight, worries, money, discontent etc.) can trigger it.

3. Change by Wealth

It is always funny to me when someone tells me, ‘Mr. A has changed because he is rich now’. No Sir! Money doesn’t change people, it only brings out (manifestation) what the person has been suppressing because he was poor. So also lack of money doesn’t make man evil, it only brings out the evil the man has been suppressing. If lack of Money makes man evil then almost everyone on the street will be evil. Riches or lack of it is like catalyst, it (makes manifest) forces out into open what someone has been hiding, the true nature. Money doesn’t change people, money makes manifest!

Change requires more than making promises or crossing the heart, there has to be a third party involved; a being, a status, a personality constantly reminding us of the choice we made.

4. Change by Regret

Many of us can attest to it that we have changed so many things over time because at a point in time we have got burnt. Naturally, we learn more from our own mistakes and we are most likely to want avoid making same mistake all over again. That’s why it is often believed that when you correct a child with punishment, you have a high probably of moulding the child as desired. This is also the premises on which corrective facilities are built (jails). However, it is not 100%, as it is difficult to change nature, especially if it involves urge, desire and greed. When people get caught they are likely to hold back for a while but if it is something propelled by urge or greed, they are most likely going back there.

5. Change by Status

When status changes, some things just become beneath you or beyond you and this can definitely lead to some attitude being suppressed and eventually lost (change). Unlike what riches do, status adds a little bit of responsibility and this can go a long way to change people. But note that what status does first is to suppress not change immediately, it is only when an attitude has been suppressed for too long that it leads to permanent change.

My Conclusion

Do people change?

Yes! People change but most people won’t, not that they don’t want to but because it is who they are and they can’t just wish that away. The desire to change is not enough to bring about change, not for love, not for religion, not for regret. Change requires more than making promises or crossing the heart, there has to be a third party involved; a being, a status, a personality constantly reminding us of the choice we made. Change won’t happen overnight no matter how committed someone is to it but with gradual suppression of what we are, we can become something new.

However, if wealth is what you are waiting for to become a changed person, trust me that won’t happen because wealth would only bring out those other things that lack of wealth has been able to suppress and the truth is if you are a bad person wealth would only make you worse.

Never base your relationship decisions on ‘hope that someone will change’, if you cannot cope with the worst someone can throw at you, then you have no business signing “forever” with the person. Whenever, you look at someone, it is best you see them for who they are and not who you hope they would be. Life has shown that there is a higher probability they remain who they are or even worse, than to change into what you hoped they will be.

Do People Change?

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Connecting the Dots

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

~ Steve Jobs

When we were much younger, there was this piece of assignment that was always fun to do for me, I loved connecting dots. To me the beautiful image that came out after I was done amused me. It gave me sense of fulfilment, a kind of gratification to see what I have laboured for come out so beautiful. However, in connecting these dots, some I have to start from the rear, some times from the middle and couple of occasions the connections would look so disjointed but in the end I always seem to come out with something beautiful.
Our lives are similar to this, in raw form before the dots are fully connected it seems uninteresting and meaningless but once we are done connecting the beauty comes out and we have that sense of fulfilment. Life may seem so meaningless now, it may seem frustrating and you just want to give up but my dear friend you just need to connect the dots. The truth is, what you are going through now is part of the dots. Whatever you may have passed through were not just coincidence, they were planted in your way to lead you to where you are today, you earned them and you have every right to put them to use. 

Discovering synergistic opportunities in any area of our lives — health, career, relationships, finance and more — begins with asking ourselves questions, observing our past and current experience, and looking for patterns. You might start with questions like these:

What have been the most influential experiences of your life?

What are your natural skills, talents and fascinations ?

What educational or professional backgrounds can you draw on?

What instincts or inclinations have you followed, and which have paid off for you in the past?

What unique or unusual life experiences have you had, and what have you taken away from them?

What personal relationships, professional connections and social networks are you a part of, and which do you most enjoy?

In what environments do you feel most alive, energized or at ease?

What knowledge and perspectives can your draw on from your family heritage and cultural background?

What moments of your current life bring you the most satisfaction?

What qualifies as “fun” for you, even if it feels like “work” to others?

As you begin to look at these and other factors, you’ll begin to see a series of “dots” that define who you are, and how you are naturally wired up. You’ll see ways some dots already connect, and you’ll probably also begin to see opportunities to leverage and connect more of them more powerfully.

Bahram Akradi 2012

Connecting the dots has nothing to do with how good you are or how careful you are. It mostly depends on how you flow with the tools (skills, knowledge, past experiences etc.) you have and how you are able to interpret what you have been given (opportunities, environment, people etc.). The most successful people are not necessarily the smartest people, they are just people who were able to connect the dots. And like you they had difficulties starting but with time and perseverance, they were able to put everything together.

 You have everything you need to succeed but some how you will have to dig deep and then you will have to understand how to put them together. It is all connected; your gift, your circumstance, your purpose, your imperfections, your journey, your destiny, all connected to moulding you to becoming something great, embrace it!

​Connecting the Dots

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Words Nobody Wants To Hear

So you probably don’t want to read this, if so then it is time to choose another article. But if you are ready for some hard truth then this is the article you have been looking for. So here we go:

Life is just what you make of it, the quality of efforts you put in will determine what you get out of life. Note the word “quality“! It is not hard work that makes way for success but smart work. You have to identify first which direction you want to go before you start making conscious efforts in that direction. You will see people running from one end to another like headless chickens all in the name of hard work and at the end of the day they will have nothing to show for it. Quality input is what it takes to have a first class product. Quality over quantity any day. Quality is like having depth, roots, just like with trees the deeper the roots the higher the chance of survival. When you have the depth then you can start thinking of producing more branches. Read Jordan rule

In the laziness of man, we have made so many feel good phrases to justify our idleness such as money is not everything, happiness is free, best things in life are free, I can’t fight destiny etc. These are all feel good phrases and honestly, holding on to them would only make you feel less responsible for yourself. Money is as essential as breathing, I understand we won’t all have it on the same scale but at least getting to the comfortable level is important. Nothing is free, whatever you have somehow you or someone or something paid for it. So get off your lazy behind and earn some comfort for yourself and people who depend on you.

There is nothing special about you! Yes and I mean it. You have a head, two arms and two legs just like everyone else. You are just like anyone you know, you have seen or read about. So you can try and become like the successful ones or end up like the unsuccessful ones, it is absolutely your choice. But because you are like everyone else, you can be whatever you chose to be, it means you can choose any path you desire. You might have gifts, talents, consciousness, intuition or passion that may give you edge over others or guide which footsteps to follow but whatever you make of your life will determine where you will end up. Don’t feel too special that you start hoping things would just change overnight, you would have to work for it like everyone else and if you decide not to, then you will end where most people who chose that ended.

Fairytale life do not exist. I want to believe in fairytales too but reality would just not allow that. Miracles, lucks, fortunes are products of positioning. You will have to seek if you want to find! No fairy godmother is going to pop up in your room at 23:59hrs asking you to make a wish before 00:00hrs. You will have to go after your wishes with all you have got. You will have to do your research if you want to be well positioned, you will have to pay for lies if you hope to find the truth, you will have to meet the wrong people on your way to finding the right ones. You will endure failures till you find success. Midnight wishes will not happen, most prayers will not be answered, most dreams will die before you even wake up, most ideas will not even leave the paper you jot them. All these may seem mean but trust me they are designed just to ensure only those who are ready to go the extra mile get the extraordinary.

Motivational speakers would want to give you the impression that having dreams is all that matters, this is a lie! There are lots of dreamers in the world yet few achievers. It is not good enough to have dreams, you must be willing and able to bring them to life through consistent and coordinated actions. People want to sit back and read success stories, and at the end of it, they want to claim it without working for it. Nope! It doesn’t work that way. You will have to get up and swing to action; set goals and achieve them, approach people for assistance and some will turn you down but you won’t stop, you will hit brick walls and you will still have to find a way to push through it. It is not about the size of your dream but about how far you are willing to go to see your dream come to live. 

What is lost can never be regained; opportunities, trust, first impression and so on. I believe in second chance but nothing beats making the best of your first chance. No matter how well you have repented it cannot be the same. Opportunity lost can’t be regained, you can get something better, something similar but not same thing and if against all odds you get same thing it can’t be same time (time is irreversible). And when you let people down, it is never going to be the same again. The import of this is that you should take nothing for granted, do everything possible to give your best at the first time of asking; in life choices, creating impressions, relationships, career, business, loyalty and in friendship. 

“New year new resolution”, trust me that’s just another crap we tell ourselves to delay/postpone what must be done. You don’t have to wait till a new day, a Monday or a new year to start something new. In fact you are better-off starting immediately you realize what must be done. People who have changed the course of history didn’t wait till Monday to start, they started the moment they realized what must be done. Most ideas die because we delay starting, that wait kills our morale, passion and burning desire to achieve results. ” Delay is deadly” when it comes to starting something new and changing your game. If you have a dream start as soon as you wake up, no delays.

Lastly, you have to know that no emotion or feeling or situation is forever. Whatever it is, good or bad, happiness or sadness it is ephemeral. Your situation is only for a while, it could either get better or worse depending on whether you choose to do something or nothing. If you are happy now, there will be time you would be unhappy, if you are so much in love now a time will come when you will question your feelings, it is normal, it is the way life is wired. It is now left to you to choose what your reactions will be on those gloomy days when you are not so sure of who you are or what you want. Don’t beat yourself up over situations you couldn’t have prevented, don’t be too hard on yourself for things you can’t change, but if there is/are something(s) you can do to make life better for yourself never hesitate to do it/them. 

Life is so worth holding on to especially when you remember you don’t know what lies at the other side, though our life is borrowed, without a doubt we will all pay back that debt. So dear, make your life count for something, let your living be felt even by the generations yet to come. Play, work, have fun, get serious, make money, get fame, take risks, stay safe and above all touch lives!

Words Nobody Wants To Hear