Your problems or The Solutions?

Where should your focus be; Your problems or The Solutions?

Easily many of us would say the focus should be on the solutions and not the problems but how practicable is this for most of us?

Problems are often the defining moments of our individual life. They are points we would be required to make complex decisions, getting off our comfort zone, having to mend ways with our enemies, sometime turn against friends and family, and other times it just simply going against the odds.

The funny thing about problems is that when you hold your problem up like it is one big insurmountable mountain, it turns out to be so but the moment you understand you can beat the odds, you start seeing Solutions. In variably, we cannot take our eyes off the problem however our attitude should reflect positivity if we want solutions and the moment we have the solutions we should be about it.

I remember a story my dad once told me, He said;

Long time ago, there was famine (problem) in the animal kingdom and all the animals became slim and many where dying of hunger. They had a meeting and all the young animals, after much lamentation and bickering (focus on the problem), they decided to survive, they should all kill the old animals and eat (at this point they have concluded that the famine would not end and they have to live for the moment at least). However, the tortoise had other plans. The tortoise sent its own mother into another land where there was no famine (solution). While others had killed every of their parents, and finally resigned to “fate”, the tortoise kept surviving from the food its mother was sending from the other land.

As funny as this story was to me then, I learned that no matter how big and complex a problem is, somewhere somehow there is an equally suitable solution, I just have to find.

Here is another fact, because majority have failed to see the solution doesn’t mean it doesnt exist. Seeing the solution like i earlier said depends on your attitude to the problem; are you focused on how insurmountable the problem is or on finding a lon term solution.

It is easy to focus on the problem and complain to everyone who cares to listen, in fact you will get many “likes” and “comments” for this on social media but it would never change a thing only at best give a temporal relief.

You have a whole lot of life ahead of you, be smart focus on the life ahead not your problems. Problems come and go, some you will have solutions to others you would just have to outlast or outlive them. Your life is precious, please make it count.

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Dear Friend,

I will not tell you I understand how you feel because the truth is only you understand how it hurts but this I can assure you, you are strong enough to make it through. Maybe you feel weak right now, maybe you are tired, a little hug here and a little love there may be all you think you have been living off for a while but I believe it only takes a strong spirit to have come this far. I know it hurts so much and you feel you can’t share, I can relate because your silence says a lot. I wish there is more I can do to let you see what I see in you.

I see is a Sun at dawn, even though it is still shielded by the thick dark cloud, soon there will come a time when nothing can stop its shine.

Most times life would not give us what we deserve, by a longshot we might be far from what we believe should be our reality or where we think we should be but that is life. The humiliation, the stigma and the “bitter after taste” might be too much to bear, this I understand is not easy but I also know many have come from the grave dark to grace the stardom lights.

Opera Winfrey was raped repeatedly for years, got pregnant and lost the baby. It seemed she was in that darkest place where no one can come out of but somehow she never gave up. Today, her light shines brighter everyday while guiding others to the light.

Joyce Meyer suffered abuse, molestation and rape from her own father for several years. She said those were her darkest hours but then she didn’t give in to those hours. God’s love found her and today she is touching lives with her story.

Steve Jobs was ‘fired’ from his own company ‘Apple’ by someone he hired but he didn’t give up, he didn’t let anger, feeling of being betrayed and quest for vengeance cloud his judgement. He built another company called NEXT and through that he was able to get back into Apple.

You may have been humiliated by people you trusted, people you thought you could count on through thick and thin but then life is a war with many battles, you may have lost several battles up till now but I can assure you the war is not over. So long as you don’t let depression bring the worst out of you, like a wounded lion, inch by inch, you can claw your way back into this fight.

It is easy to think revenge will set you free, this I will not stop you from especially when it seems your mind is all made up but here is a fact I know, no good thing comes from being vengeful. When you hold on to hate, revenge, or bitterness, it is like trying to smite someone who hurt you with hot iron rod in your bare hands, whether you succeed or not, you would have burned your own hands in the process. My honest advice, let it go! It won’t be easy but it is the right thing to do, let karma do her work and you concentrate on building your life a piece at a time.

Death may seem a way out, but suicide is for cowards. The brave would rather die fighting than commit suicide. You are brave my friend, I see so much life in you, even through the thick cloud, I believe your Sun will still get its turn to shine. I know you probably expect more from people but there is so little anyone can do, honestly. As much as I want to assure you things will be alright, there is just little I can offer you but my words. People may seem less concerned but that is not totally true, there is more than meets the eye; most people are also struggling with things they would rather not talk about, yet they wear the smile of ‘all is well’. However, after all said and done, never forget to reach out. It is easier to fight life’s battles when you have someone to rub minds with.

You are not alone in this struggle. It is a phase and it will pass. It is okay to be confused, it is human to feel insecure and unsure, these only remind us that we are not perfect; and nobody is perfect. You can ask questions or just do it anyway. Don’t give up on yourself on the account of how life has treated you, remember only the test of fire makes a fine steel. I believe in you my friend, I believe your light can still find its way through this thick cloud. Your past don’t define you, you are wiser, you are braver, you have all it takes; dig deep!

Letter to My Depressed Friend

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Not That I Don’t Have Faith

Faith is a very common word use in different sects of spiritual believes to inspire one thing, and that is HOPE. The root word from which we get ‘faith, the noun is PISTIS, the verb is PISTUEO. FAITH – PISTIS means belief, firm persuasion, assurance, firm conviction, faithfulness to which an end is assured. Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see (NLT). Faith has an aura of light at the end of the tunnel written all over it but with many questions about what happens before the light comes.

Does faith fail? Yes it does! But why?

Faith is one word we misuse obviously because most of us don’t really understand how it works. Note this, you can have faith and still fail, do you know why? Faith has some terms and conditions attached to it. Faith can’t work in a vacuum, it needs some condiments to make it deliver.

Elisha and the Widow’s Oil
A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the LORD. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.”
So Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” And she said, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”
Then he said, “Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels; do not gather just a few. And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it into all those vessels, and set aside the full ones.”
So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out. Now it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, “Bring me another vessel.”
And he said to her, “ There is not another vessel.” So the oil ceased. Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debt; and you and your sons live on the rest.”

Reference 2 Kings 4: 1-7 (NKJV)

Faith would only work well, when you fulfill your own part of the bargain, when you make available certain atmospheres for it to flourish. There 3 basic things you need to make your faith work for you;

1. Believe: You have to believe in something of higher significance; believe in God, His Son, His prophets, in possibilities and importantly in yourself. The widow took the words of Elisha and acted on them because she believed. She most likely had many questions but she was able to shut those questions and scepticism up because she believed not only in the God of Elisha but also in Elisha and the possibilities of miracles. Science has revealed that there is a part of the brain known as the “God Spot”, and its main function is to aide our believe system, and that is why everyone believes in something; that part of the brain must be filled. So it now depends on you as a person to determine what would fill that space in your brain. But if faith is what you throw around and rely on, then you will have to fill the God Spot with God.

2. Be ready to follow instructions: For faith to work, instructions have to be followed. There would be certain things that would be required of you depending on what you are exercising faith on, and you will have to do them for your faith to work. For instance, if you are trusting God for a new job you will have to apply or make your availability known to people, if you are trusting God for a child you will have to have a man to copulate with, if you are trusting God for financial empowerment you will have to meet people and so on that’s how it works. Elisha gave the widow instructions and she followed them to the letter, faith would require you to follow instructions, to be obedient and be detailed. Remember, the story of the Fishermen and Jesus, they had tried all night long but they caught nothing. When Jesus came into the picture he asked them to throw in their net one more time; that was an explicit instruction. Yes! It was the same water, in fact the same spot they had tried all night long but then they had to obey that instruction and the result was abundance of fishes. One could have expected Jesus to command fishes to start raining from the sky but No! there are processes to life, you have to do certain things before certain things can happen.

3. You would have to Work your Faith: Faith without Work is dead (FwWD). There are no shortcuts, if you don’t work for anything you can’t earn something and it is the same with God. With faith comes work, they go together. The widow had to do the pouring of the oil, that’s work you know? Have you tried filling a bottle with oil before? Trust me, just one bottle can be exhausting not to talk of filling many pots. Many people will tell you they have faith yet they are not ready to put their best efforts forward; my brothers and my sisters, it doesn’t work that way. Even the woman with the issue of blood had to work her way through the crowd to get to Jesus, before she could exercise her faith. In scheme of things, it is usually Faith Work Faith then Result. Let me point this out, most people’s faith gets disappointed because they hoped faith would work without them working. Remember, there are processes in life; even luck requires some real work of positioning.

Don’t throw the word “faith” around in ignorance and oblivion of what is required of you. Fulfill your own part, be diligent about it, follow instructions and be steadfast in believe. It might take a while before you see the results but trust me it will be worth every second you spent waiting. God can do beyond your expectations, keep trusting, keep hoping, something beautiful is coming your way.

Not That I Don’t Have Faith

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You Have All You Need To Start

If you have the passion, if you have a dream, if you have the Will, if you have You, then you have all you need to start! – Selahsomeone

A little bird looked at its mother and said, “mama when I grow big like you, I will fly to the top of the highest mountain and enjoy the coolest breeze of all”.

The mother bird smiled and replied, ” my little angel, if your dream is to one day enjoy the coolest breeze of all on the top of the highest mountain, then you will have to start your flying practice now”.

The little bird stretched its little wings, as if to say mum can’t you see, then said, “mum but you know i can’t fly that high yet, i am just a little bird”.

The mother bird replied, “I know you can’t fly that high yet but then if you want to someday fly that high you will have to start the lessons and attempts now”.

The mother bird went on; do you have wings?

The little bird answered, “Yes I do but they are pretty short!”

The mother probed further, do you have the Will and passion to drive your dream?

The little bird answered, “Yes i do but my friends said i need more than that”.

The mother bird shook her head, finally she asked, do you believe in yourself?

The little bird now not really sure of what to say, murmured, “Yes but i think i need to wait till i have big wings to carry me”.

The mother bird came closer and wrapped her wings around the little bird in a way to comfort and encourage her little baby. She then said, ” my baby, you have all you need to fly to the highest mountain, maybe you can’t fly that high right now but trust me, to grow big you have to start small. You have wings irrespective of the size, you have the Will and you have the dream to follow; that’s all you need. It is good to aim for the highest mountain, to set goals worthy of the future but it is wise to know that to fly to the highest mountain you will have to start from jumping ridges.


Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin… Zechariah 4:10

Many of us are like the little bird, we have big dreams and aspirations, some even have blueprints of where they want to be but the mistake most of us make is that we forget growing big means we have to start small.

Take for instance;

Steve Jobs all he had were his idea, few friends who shared his vision and a garage to start with

Arnold Schwarzenegger all he had was his body and a terrible English accent

Larry Page and Sergey Brin could not even afford the rent of a garage when they started, they had to wait like a year to get that yet that didn’t stop them from starting Google.

We would always have excuses why we cannot start living our dreams but when we understand the beauty of starting small we will understand that all these excuses don’t hold water; be it finance, personnel, experience, economic situation and so on, they are all things we can pick up along the way. The most important thing is that we start.

Know this, no matter how big and beautiful your dream is, if it cannot not be broken down into achievable pieces, stages, goals or targets then the dream is already self defeated.

Starting small presupposes that you get better per stage at doing something while growing at the same time. For instance, if your dream is become the President of a country, you will have to have achievable pieces or stages like get a political party, establish yourself in the party, try a couple of positions within the party, create big impression in your community, state and country, go for a state position then finally your dream, the presidency. You don’t just hope that you will wake up someday and become the president. Every dream should be capable of being broken down.

The beauty of starting small is that you are able to grow with your dream; along the way you learn from your mistakes, you adjust to reality, you grow into character and finally surpass your initial dream. However, if you are waiting to start big, most likely you won’t even start and when by a stroke of luck you are able to start, if you fail there would definitely be no way back.

You have a dream capable of being broken down, you have the passion, you have the will and you have You, that’s about all you need to start. Take the first step and don’t look back, start from the least and work your way to the top, set goals, have targets and plan stages, and whatever other things you think you need would find their way to you. Start flying now and very soon you will find your way to the highest mountain where the breeze is coolest.

You Have All You Need To Start

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Why Good Things Take Time

Why must we wait before things start turning right? Why must we go through the preparing stage before self actualization? Why must it first be stormy before a good rain comes?

There are a thousand and one questions that leaves us speechless when it comes to waiting for success to happen. In fact some say you don’t wait for it to happen rather you go after what you truly desire. One thing I have learned is that it would always be stormy but when we are not scared to face (wait) the storm, we will soon learn how to fly through it.

I implore you to watch this 6 minutes teaching video and learn!

Click Link Below To Watch

Good Things Take Time

You can also visit Selah’s Media (link below) for more audio and videos

Selah’s Media

Why Good Things Take Time

Your Attention Span

Your Attention Span

I learned a lesson from my little boy that I love to share with you.

My little boy is such a fine 4year old with lots of enthusiasm about almost everything; he wants to write, draw, discover new things, play and watch Nickelodeon all at the same time. On this day, he was trying to reassemble his scattered toy and he was at it for some minutes, trying to connect one part to another. As he was about getting it, another thing caught his attention, a piece of paper and pen, so he left his toy and moved to drawing with his new found writing tools. As I was still wondering why he left a toy he seemed so much interested in few minutes ago, I noticed he wasn’t even drawing again, now he was face fixed on SpongeBob on Nickelodeon. I just smiled and said to myself, “he still has short attention span”. Then it hit me, it might be excusable for my little boy but then some adults still suffer from this, especially with their dreams.

The average human attention span was 12 seconds in 2000 and 8 seconds in 2013. A drop of 33%. The scary part is that the attention span of a goldfish was 9 seconds, almost 13% more than us humans. That’s why it’s getting tougher by the day to get people to turn the page. – Ashwin Sanghi

Having so many talents and energy is a very good thing, in fact I love multitalented people but I have also noticed that most multitalented people are as confused as my little boy. Get this, being able to do so many things or being enthusiastic about different things is not a bad thing in itself, but not being able to see one thing through before jumping to another is dangerous. Going back to my little boy, he attempted about 3 things in less than 15minutes and he still didn’t achieve anything. Does this sound like you?

Short attention span has robbed many of the glory they seek; as they are working on one project, they jump to another and before they can achieve anything meaningful they hump on to another. The truth is, getting something done requires that we give that thing most, if not all of our attention. Most of us, myself inclusive, are guilty of this, once we try once or twice we abandon it and move to another thing, and before the turn of the year we would have tried more things than can be counted with the fingers, while if we had stayed with one idea, try and try and try till it starts working by the same turn of the year we would have gone really far.

Whatever you want to do, whatever is placed in your heart, whatever you are so convinced is your way, do everything within your means to follow it through. – Selahsomeone

Take for instance, today we want to do music, tomorrow we want to do modelling and before that could click we are thinking of going into branding business and so on, and at the end of the day we realize we have achieved nothing but pieces of dreams that can’t be put together. Understand this, having many streams of income presupposes that you establish one stream before moving unto another, not that you do one half way, then you jump to another.

Whatever you want to do, whatever is placed in your heart, whatever you are so convinced is your way, do everything within your means to follow it through. Yes! There will be hitches, hurdles and even mountains to climb but none would be enduring if you are persistent consistently. You will be tempted to quit and try something else but as the saying goes quitters don’t win. If you quit this now for something else, then soon you will quit that something else for another thing the moment you are faced with challenges. Even though we see ourselves doing so much, it is wiser to do things one at a time or at most combining two things that we can work together. Let’s look at people who have made impact, most of them are known for one or two achievements. You see, it is always easier to run faster when your load is light.

Be resolute in your approach, work on your attention span, be as excited as you were at the beginning even at the crises middle up till you start seeing results. Good ideas might get you started but without consistency and daily renewed passion, good ideas won’t translate to success. Focus on what you know you are best at and give it all your attention, don’t quit because the results are taking too long to come and say you want to try something else, be diligent, be persistent and be consistent, and when you become fully established in that thing you are best at, you can now bring in your other talents to support it.

How To Manage a fail

How To Manage a fail

Every successful person had failed at one thing or the other at a point in time. If you are willing to improve on yourself or try new things then you are bound to fail at a point, if you do not quit however, you will eventually succeed.

When we fail to get something we have worked so hard for, we tend to believe it is the end, nothing else is worth trying. Know this, the end of one thing is always the beginning of another but you have to decide what begins at the end of your fail. What some have termed epic fail has turned out to be the spurring beginning of a big time success streak for others. Our fails should spur us to trying again and again and again, after all we have learned new things from our last fail that would definitely help us to do better, if we try again.

There are few tricks to managing the fallouts of a fail to ensure you don’t get drowned in what is just temporary.

1. See a fail as an opportunity to learn: Because you failed doesn’t necessary mean you are not good enough rather most fails are just pointers to the fact that there are some things you don’t know yet. When you embrace a fail as an opportunity to learn new things, it won’t weigh you down, rather it will increase your desire to succeed. Success is not some thing we pick from the streets like garbage, success requires work on the dream and most importantly work on self. There are certain things we will have to give up and some things we will have learn to become successful, fails teach that!

2. Keep your focus on your dreams and not your current situation: It is easy after a big loss to get lost in the weakness of that moment. For example, in a Football league a team won’t say because they have lost their first two matches, they have lost the hope of winning the title, they know there is still a long way to go! The chase after success is not a dash, it is a marathon! The focus has to be on the dream or goal not what is currently happening; attention on goals not circumstances. Loss or fail is just an event not the whole story, we need understand this. How the story plays out depend on what we make of the different events in the story.

3. Avoid people with depressing comments: After a fail, it is not uncommon to have people around in a pity party mood with depressing comments that can kill one’s zeal to give it another shot; avoid this! We have the power to control the atmosphere in and around us by the choices we make. Even when you don’t have control over what you hear, you can still decide on what and who you listen to and when you can’t control what and who you see, you can always control the ideas you meditate on. Exercise your power of choice as your life and dreams depend on it.

4. Keep yourself motivated at all times: It is said that motivation is like having bath, you need it all the time to keep you refreshed but after a fail, you even need it more. It is like after a workout, even if you had showered already in the day, you would still need another to feel alright. After fails are exactly when you need motivations the most because at these times we are most vulnerable, different thoughts cross our mind; of regrets, of disgust, of weariness, of doubts, of distrust and if we allow them to take root, they will destroy all the hard work we have already put in to get to where we are at the moment. So we need motivation to clear our head and set us back on track. Talk to your mentor, rub minds with people who have trodden the same path and came out successful.

5. Don’t forget where you are coming from: Fails have a way of making us forget past successes but we would have to remind ourselves where we started from and what has led us to where we are now. Most need for success are driven by our past sufferings, humiliations, frustrations and need to see things change, and if we keep these in mind and while not forgetting what hurdles we have surmounted along the way to get to this point, we will see that this fail is not enough to stop us. Like the Biblical Israelites, after all their long suffering in Egypt, they knew the Red sea was not big enough to send the back to where they are coming from, so somehow amazingly they matched through it.

Have a mindset of a winner, even when you fail see it as part of your learning process. Don’t quit, try again and again and again till you succeed!

Work Your Strength

Work your Strength

We are all unique, each one of us with different skills, talents, reasoning, energy level, needs, greed, targets and history (STRENGTH), and that makes us special in our own way.

Some years back, there was this young undergraduate, he wasn’t too good academically, he was what most students call “let my people go”, he would not fail but he would always be on the bother line. Friends tried to help him with his studies and he tried his best to study hard but somehow he just doesn’t get it.

However, when it comes to business, this guy is never short of ideas. While he was in school, he was into importation of car spare parts, he helped most of his lectures to import spare parts for their exotic cars. After graduation, he could only manage a ” Pass Grade”, he decided to go into business fully but because he had just little money to start, he decided to go into importation of flashy Japanese cars on request, he does all the hard work till the car is cleared at the port and he was able to make a lot as he grew smarter in the business. Five years after living school, while his colleagues with good grades were still trying to adjust to the labour market, he was already making millions.

We are all special and blessed with something only very few people can do like we can. We might not be able to do things people expect from us but there are things we are capable of that can yield more than what people expect of us. You might not be talented to play football, sing, write or even be good academically, that doesn’t make you less special, there are a million and one other things you can be good at and when you can work your strength you will be whatever you desire.

Play to your strength, feed what you are good at. Put in everything you have got till it starts to pay off. Someone said, ‘Selah i wish i can write like you’ and i replied him ‘i wish i can talk like you’. we are gifted in different areas and that’s what makes us standout as individuals. We can maximize what we are blessed with by working to our strength, putting in efforts and channelling our resources to become better at what we are already gifted at.

I remember some twins i met, these twins are not identical in any way, Kehinde was brilliant while Taye was just the opposite. Their parents tried to slow Kehinde down academically just hoping Taye would catch up but all their efforts proved abortive, Taye wasn’t just the book type. By age 15, Kehinde was done with secondary (high) school while Taye was still stuck at Primary (elementary) six. However, Taye was a gifted artiste, without any special training Taye was already drawing a ‘look alike sketch’. The parents thought it wise to send Taye to a technical school to become an artiste while Kehinde went to university to study law. Today, both are doing very fine, Taye with his own art studio while Kehinde works for a law firm.

Nobody is useless! Because a fish cannot survive on dry land doesn’t make it inferior to a bird that walks the land, and because the bird cannot survive in water doesn’t make it inferior to fishes that swim the ocean. We are all unique in our own way. We all have our areas of expertise, we should not be shy to explore our strength, we should not give into what people expect from us that we fail to do what we know how to do best.

You are already a winner, all you need to do is to work your strength! Put your Skills to use, develop your Talents, give the decisions to your Reasoning, maximize the use of your Energy, take care of your Needs, don’t let your Greed ruin your life, act with your Targets in mind at all times and never ever forget your History.

You Can Do It

You can do it

No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you’ll find the positive side of things.

Demi Lovato

Success stories are often fun to read, my favorite is the story of Joseph in the Bible, after everything he went through and against as many odds as possible, at last, he ended up solving a huge famine problem and in turn he was made number two person in a foreign land with wealth beyond his imagination. But as much as this story is impressive and astonishing, imagine Joseph who lived it.

Joseph not knowing the end of the story from the beginning like you and I do, would probably at a point thought that every step he took forward, took him two steps backward instead, for every honest and kind attitude he showed he reaped shame and ingratitude, for every problem he solved, instead of commendations he got condemnations and for every hard work he put in, he got hard walls in return. At a some point in the prison, I am sure he would have thought of giving up and maybe blamed himself for not being like everyone else. But the best part of the story is that Joseph never stopped trying, he never stopped pushing, he didn’t give up on his dreams, even when the situation looked hopeless he never stopped believing in possibilities.

Yes, you too can do it!

Before the good times come the hard ones, times that it would seem nothing is working. Often at these times we wonder if there are things we have done wrong or if there were some past trying to catch up with us. In fact, at these times it seems as if every step we take, every effort we make takes us further back. But my friends, these times are our most critical times, these are the times our faith and our resolve to stay true to our dreams get tested. It is like the darkest part of our night that is just before the breaking of our dawn.

With a little persistence you can do it.

It is difficult to hold on to our faith at these trying times especially when most people who truly care about us begin to lose their faith in us. At this point, it feels like we are all alone and no one really understands what we are trying to make of our lives. These are times people refer to us as crazy, lazy or confused, and truly sometimes we are tempted to see it their way and abandon our dreams all together. But dear, that’s about the time things start to make sense, about the time we are pushed to the wall and we start to push harder till doors begin to open.

Please don’t be derailed by what you are currently passing through. I know it is not as easy as I am saying it but then i also know it is not as hard as it is pretending to be. You can pull through this part of your life. Dreaming is the easy part, keeping the dream alive is where the work is, but i am positive you can do it. I know people you trust are currently no where to be found and people who before now shared your views are gradually pulling back because the results are yet to be seen but all these are just like smoke screen, soon when the dust settles and the tide starts to roll your way, the good days would return, then friends and families would love to share the podium with you.

You are another Joseph in the making, just that you can’t see the end of your own story yet but I am more convinced it is even going to be sweeter and your success would be a lesson to others who wouldn’t give up, just because you didn’t. I believe in you not because i want to make you feel good but because I know your pain and I also know it would be well justified in the end if you can just persist consistently a little longer.

Dedicated to my adopted daughter Onome Omodara (www.onomewrites.com)

See The Positives in You

See The Positives in You

Whining is more like a trend these days, in fact unconsciously people just start to complain about anything and everything; how their life sucks, and some even compete with whose life sucks the most. You hear one person saying “my life is hell” and another saying “mine is more hell than yours”. Come on guys, we have to keep hope alive to stay alive, we have to focus on the positives we still have. Pity party can seem like fun and relieving but in the end it doesn’t solve the problem, rather it robs us off the zeal to fight back.

For every downside there is always an upside but it takes learning to appreciate what is unseen. Tragedy has a way of magnifying the buts, the should haves and the inflicted but with deep thoughts we can always see the blessings, the haves and the deflected. Raw diamond could be mistaken for an ordinary stone but even in its raw form people with knowledge still know its worth. No matter how tough times may be, if you have faith you will be able to see beyond the trials.

I remember some years back, I was battling with loss of job and many people i knew then kept reminding me of how many mistakes i made on my way to losing the job, some tried to shift and push the blame on my colleagues while others almost turn it into a charade of pity party and jamboree of condolences. I remember telling myself “I may have made some mistakes, some people may have had a hand in it but i can always come back from these better”. I didn’t just sit and allow life roll me over, I pushed back by not allowing myself drown in the negatives. I focused on the positives; my skill, my experience and my expertise, even when people said it was going to be hard getting another job, I was never in doubt i can come through.

Don’t hold your problems high up, don’t emphasize your negatives, focus on where you want to be, the kind of life you see yourself living five or ten years from now and work passionately towards it. We seriously have to quit bemoaning our situation, past or present, for a fact we will all pass through some forms of trying times, but these trying times are not meant to be our end rather a means to an end depending on our attitude during and after these times. Our attitude; did we choose to complain or embrace and forge ahead?

One day, a donkey fell into a pit. The animal cried and whined for hours while his owner tried to figure out what to do. Finally, the farmer decided that since the animal was old, and the pit needed to be covered up anyway, he’d just bury the old donkey right there. He got a shovel and started filling in the pit. The donkey kept up its wailing, but then fell silent. After an hour of furious shovelling, the farmer paused to rest. To his amazement, he saw his old donkey jump out of the pit and trot away! At first, when the donkey realized what was happening, he cried even more piteously. But then the wise animal hit on a plan. As each spadeful of dirt hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up on the growing mound of earth. Eventually, the mound grew high enough for him to jump out of the pit. Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the pit well is to shake it off and take a step up. We can get out of the deepest pits by not stopping and never giving up. Just shake it off and take a step up.

– Jew tales

Most people focus on the negatives because they keep comparing themselves with other people. They keep using other’s achievements as yardstick for their own lives. Life is not designed to be a rat race, as individuals we have our own unique contribution and they are embedded in the lessons we have learned and the positives we have taken from our troubles over the years. Don’t waste your time chasing others when you can be setting your own pace, there are lot of positives you can take from your current situation and create the kind of life you want for yourself. It is never too late to decide on who you want to be; the guy that whined about everything and did nothing or the guy that made the best of bad situations and lived happily ever after.

Life is no fairy tale my friend but miracles still happen, people still move from nothing to something, talents still make way, hard work still gets reward, faith still move mountains, persistence still breaks through, consistence still gets celebrated and negatives still yield a whole lot of positives.