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Not That I Don’t Have Faith

Faith is a very common word use in different sects of spiritual believes to inspire one thing, and that is HOPE. The root word from which we get ‘faith, the noun is PISTIS, the verb is PISTUEO. FAITH – PISTIS means belief, firm persuasion, assurance, firm conviction, faithfulness to which an end is assured. Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see (NLT). Faith has an aura of light at the end of the tunnel written all over it but with many questions about what happens before the light comes.

Does faith fail? Yes it does! But why?

Faith is one word we misuse obviously because most of us don’t really understand how it works. Note this, you can have faith and still fail, do you know why? Faith has some terms and conditions attached to it. Faith can’t work in a vacuum, it needs some condiments to make it deliver.

Elisha and the Widow’s Oil
A certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets cried out to Elisha, saying, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the LORD. And the creditor is coming to take my two sons to be his slaves.”
So Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me, what do you have in the house?” And she said, “Your maidservant has nothing in the house but a jar of oil.”
Then he said, “Go, borrow vessels from everywhere, from all your neighbors—empty vessels; do not gather just a few. And when you have come in, you shall shut the door behind you and your sons; then pour it into all those vessels, and set aside the full ones.”
So she went from him and shut the door behind her and her sons, who brought the vessels to her; and she poured it out. Now it came to pass, when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, “Bring me another vessel.”
And he said to her, “ There is not another vessel.” So the oil ceased. Then she came and told the man of God. And he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debt; and you and your sons live on the rest.”

Reference 2 Kings 4: 1-7 (NKJV)

Faith would only work well, when you fulfill your own part of the bargain, when you make available certain atmospheres for it to flourish. There 3 basic things you need to make your faith work for you;

1. Believe: You have to believe in something of higher significance; believe in God, His Son, His prophets, in possibilities and importantly in yourself. The widow took the words of Elisha and acted on them because she believed. She most likely had many questions but she was able to shut those questions and scepticism up because she believed not only in the God of Elisha but also in Elisha and the possibilities of miracles. Science has revealed that there is a part of the brain known as the “God Spot”, and its main function is to aide our believe system, and that is why everyone believes in something; that part of the brain must be filled. So it now depends on you as a person to determine what would fill that space in your brain. But if faith is what you throw around and rely on, then you will have to fill the God Spot with God.

2. Be ready to follow instructions: For faith to work, instructions have to be followed. There would be certain things that would be required of you depending on what you are exercising faith on, and you will have to do them for your faith to work. For instance, if you are trusting God for a new job you will have to apply or make your availability known to people, if you are trusting God for a child you will have to have a man to copulate with, if you are trusting God for financial empowerment you will have to meet people and so on that’s how it works. Elisha gave the widow instructions and she followed them to the letter, faith would require you to follow instructions, to be obedient and be detailed. Remember, the story of the Fishermen and Jesus, they had tried all night long but they caught nothing. When Jesus came into the picture he asked them to throw in their net one more time; that was an explicit instruction. Yes! It was the same water, in fact the same spot they had tried all night long but then they had to obey that instruction and the result was abundance of fishes. One could have expected Jesus to command fishes to start raining from the sky but No! there are processes to life, you have to do certain things before certain things can happen.

3. You would have to Work your Faith: Faith without Work is dead (FwWD). There are no shortcuts, if you don’t work for anything you can’t earn something and it is the same with God. With faith comes work, they go together. The widow had to do the pouring of the oil, that’s work you know? Have you tried filling a bottle with oil before? Trust me, just one bottle can be exhausting not to talk of filling many pots. Many people will tell you they have faith yet they are not ready to put their best efforts forward; my brothers and my sisters, it doesn’t work that way. Even the woman with the issue of blood had to work her way through the crowd to get to Jesus, before she could exercise her faith. In scheme of things, it is usually Faith Work Faith then Result. Let me point this out, most people’s faith gets disappointed because they hoped faith would work without them working. Remember, there are processes in life; even luck requires some real work of positioning.

Don’t throw the word “faith” around in ignorance and oblivion of what is required of you. Fulfill your own part, be diligent about it, follow instructions and be steadfast in believe. It might take a while before you see the results but trust me it will be worth every second you spent waiting. God can do beyond your expectations, keep trusting, keep hoping, something beautiful is coming your way.

Not That I Don’t Have Faith

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You Have All You Need To Start

If you have the passion, if you have a dream, if you have the Will, if you have You, then you have all you need to start! – Selahsomeone

A little bird looked at its mother and said, “mama when I grow big like you, I will fly to the top of the highest mountain and enjoy the coolest breeze of all”.

The mother bird smiled and replied, ” my little angel, if your dream is to one day enjoy the coolest breeze of all on the top of the highest mountain, then you will have to start your flying practice now”.

The little bird stretched its little wings, as if to say mum can’t you see, then said, “mum but you know i can’t fly that high yet, i am just a little bird”.

The mother bird replied, “I know you can’t fly that high yet but then if you want to someday fly that high you will have to start the lessons and attempts now”.

The mother bird went on; do you have wings?

The little bird answered, “Yes I do but they are pretty short!”

The mother probed further, do you have the Will and passion to drive your dream?

The little bird answered, “Yes i do but my friends said i need more than that”.

The mother bird shook her head, finally she asked, do you believe in yourself?

The little bird now not really sure of what to say, murmured, “Yes but i think i need to wait till i have big wings to carry me”.

The mother bird came closer and wrapped her wings around the little bird in a way to comfort and encourage her little baby. She then said, ” my baby, you have all you need to fly to the highest mountain, maybe you can’t fly that high right now but trust me, to grow big you have to start small. You have wings irrespective of the size, you have the Will and you have the dream to follow; that’s all you need. It is good to aim for the highest mountain, to set goals worthy of the future but it is wise to know that to fly to the highest mountain you will have to start from jumping ridges.


Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin… Zechariah 4:10

Many of us are like the little bird, we have big dreams and aspirations, some even have blueprints of where they want to be but the mistake most of us make is that we forget growing big means we have to start small.

Take for instance;

Steve Jobs all he had were his idea, few friends who shared his vision and a garage to start with

Arnold Schwarzenegger all he had was his body and a terrible English accent

Larry Page and Sergey Brin could not even afford the rent of a garage when they started, they had to wait like a year to get that yet that didn’t stop them from starting Google.

We would always have excuses why we cannot start living our dreams but when we understand the beauty of starting small we will understand that all these excuses don’t hold water; be it finance, personnel, experience, economic situation and so on, they are all things we can pick up along the way. The most important thing is that we start.

Know this, no matter how big and beautiful your dream is, if it cannot not be broken down into achievable pieces, stages, goals or targets then the dream is already self defeated.

Starting small presupposes that you get better per stage at doing something while growing at the same time. For instance, if your dream is become the President of a country, you will have to have achievable pieces or stages like get a political party, establish yourself in the party, try a couple of positions within the party, create big impression in your community, state and country, go for a state position then finally your dream, the presidency. You don’t just hope that you will wake up someday and become the president. Every dream should be capable of being broken down.

The beauty of starting small is that you are able to grow with your dream; along the way you learn from your mistakes, you adjust to reality, you grow into character and finally surpass your initial dream. However, if you are waiting to start big, most likely you won’t even start and when by a stroke of luck you are able to start, if you fail there would definitely be no way back.

You have a dream capable of being broken down, you have the passion, you have the will and you have You, that’s about all you need to start. Take the first step and don’t look back, start from the least and work your way to the top, set goals, have targets and plan stages, and whatever other things you think you need would find their way to you. Start flying now and very soon you will find your way to the highest mountain where the breeze is coolest.

You Have All You Need To Start

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Why Good Things Take Time

Why must we wait before things start turning right? Why must we go through the preparing stage before self actualization? Why must it first be stormy before a good rain comes?

There are a thousand and one questions that leaves us speechless when it comes to waiting for success to happen. In fact some say you don’t wait for it to happen rather you go after what you truly desire. One thing I have learned is that it would always be stormy but when we are not scared to face (wait) the storm, we will soon learn how to fly through it.

I implore you to watch this 6 minutes teaching video and learn!

Click Link Below To Watch

Good Things Take Time

You can also visit Selah’s Media (link below) for more audio and videos

Selah’s Media

Why Good Things Take Time

Performing Beyond Expectations

Performing Beyond Expectations

Please read this message and see what makes you different from other person.

*This is what I called life assessment without argument.*

Ezra and Thomas joined a company together a few months after their graduation from university. After a few years of work, their Manager promoted Ezra to a position of Senior Sales Manager, but Thomas remained in his entry level Junior Sales Officer position. Thomas developed a sense of jealousy and disgruntlement, but continued working anyway. One day Thomas felt that he could not work with Ezra anymore. He wrote his resignation letter, but before he submitted it to the Manager, he complained that Management did not value hard working staff, but promoted only the favoured!

The Manager knew that Ezra worked very hard for the years he had spent at the company; even harder than Thomas and therefore he deserved the promotion. So in order to help Thomas to realize this, the Manager gave Thomas a task. “Go and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?” Thomas returned and said, “yes there is someone!” The Manager asked, “how much per kg?” Thomas drove back to town to ask and then returned to inform the Manager; “they are N100.00 per kg!”

*The Manager told Thomas,* “I will give Ezra the same task that I gave you. Please pay close attention to his response!” So the Manager said to Ezra, in the presence of Thomas; “Go and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?” Ezra went to find out and on his return he said: *”Manager, there is only one person selling water melons in the whole town”.* The cost is N500.00 each water melon and N300,00 for a half melon. He sells them at N100.00 per kg when sliced. He has in his stock 93 melons, each one weighing about 7kg. He has a farm and can supply us with melons for the next 4 months at a rate of 102 melons per day at N350.00 per melon; this includes delivery. The melons appear fresh and red with good quality, and they taste better than the ones we sold last year. He has his own slicing machine and is willing to slice for us free of charge. We need to strike a deal with him before 10am tomorrow and we will be sure of beating last year’s profits in melons by over N2,300,000.00. This will contribute positively to our overall performance as it will add a minimum of 8.78% to our current overall sales target. I have put this information down in writing and is available on spreadsheet. Please let me know if you need it as I can send it to you in fifteen minutes.”

Thomas was very impressed and realized the difference between himself and Ezra. He decided not to resign but to learn from Ezra.

As we go ahead with our daily decisions on where we ought to be and what ought to be, let this story help us keep in mind the importance of going an Extra Mile in all our endeavors.

As an Event Producer, Baker, Consultant, Draper etc; hoping to grow to the top of their game within our businesses; you won’t be rewarded for doing what you’re meant to do, you are already paid, for that!

HOWEVER, YOU WILL ONLY GET EXTRA RECOGNITION FOR GOING AN EXTRA MILE

Performing Beyond Expectations. ABOVE AND BEYOND.

To be Successful in Life,

You must be Observant, Proactive and Willing to Do More, Think More,

Have a More Holistic Perspective and Go Beyond The Call Of Duty.

Author: Unknown

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A Lil’ Help!

As Leslie watched the pregnancy test stick on the bathroom counter, she couldn’t help but silently pray it was positive. That would be a whole lot of weight and stress off her shoulders.

It wasn’t like she and her husband Kane, were old or (have been) searching for a long time. In fact, their marriage was barely six months old and neither Kane nor their families was pestering her for a child. Yet, she knew she needed to be pregnant at all cost.

The alarm clock on her phone vibrated, signifying the end of the five minutes wait. She held her breath and gently peeked at the test. She couldn’t help the sudden rush of disappointment that filled her when she realised it was negative. She angrily pushed the stick and every other thing on the counter away.

She sank to her knees and gently placed herself on the bathroom floor as she cried silently. She couldn’t help but think about why it was very necessary for her to get pregnant. She needed it as an excuse for her husband to stop wanting her or touching her sexually.

To her surprise, Mary did not blame her. Mary had understood, even more than she had thought was possible. It was such a great relief.

No, she did not despise her husband. On the contrary, she had grown to love Kane, yet it was pretty difficult to make love to her husband. Each time, she had to think of something else, or in her case, someone else. She didn’t know why, but Kane’s touch repulsed her even though in her head she knew she loved him.

The problem had started in her final year in the University. She had been a victim of a gang rape, which led to bouts of depression afterwards. It did not help that her friend and roommate blamed her for walking at night even though she had been on her way to class to read. She had felt so useless and she never thought she would ever have anything to do with sex again.

Then she met Mary during her NYSC days. Mary was her roommate in the lodge they were given by the company they served. Mary had quickly noticed her skittish nature around guys. After much pressure, she finally caved and told Mary about her experience. To her surprise, Mary did not blame her. Mary had understood, even more than she had thought was possible. It was such a great relief.

Then Mary started becoming nicer, extra loving, attentive and most of all, extra touchy. At first, it was all strange but then she started enjoying it. The little touches became frequent hugs, cuddles then it advanced to pecks. She was very ready when Mary finally introduced her to full blown sexual activities. Mary told her only a fellow woman would ever understand her body and make her feel that much pleasure.

It wasn’t that he was a sex addict, but he had stayed faithful for a whole year of courtship and now, he had to remain celibate in marriage?

After service, she was retained by the company and Mary left, though she would occasionally come over for visits and other things. Then her parents introduced her to Kane who had just been called to Bar and had joined his Father’s chambers as a young Barrister. Both parents had high expectations for them and they did not disappoint because they got married after a year.

Then things became strained when after a month, she still hadn’t let her husband touch her even after making him wait all through their courtship days. It wasn’t like she didn’t love him, she did. A whole lot. Yet, she couldn’t get turned on by him sexually until she had to resort to thinking about Mary and their past escapades.

Things went back to normal for a while until she started finding Kane’s sexual appetite too much for her man-hating body to handle, which was why she needed to get pregnant ASAP. That way, she’ll be safe from his touch for nine months.

Leslie knew she was in serious trouble, she had researched it and the internet had called her bisexual. How was she supposed to get over this when her husband was slowly becoming colder and slipping from her grasp?

***

Kane sighed as he stared at the files the pretty secretary just dropped on his table. His thoughts weren’t there at all. A glimpse of the petite secretary’s cleavage had stirred something in him. He shook his head and stared at the shiny wedding band on his finger to clear his rampaging thoughts.

Kane explained everything to his Dad, who listened without any interruptions. After he let his son talk, he finally responded.

“You said it does not seem like she’s cheating?”

Ever since his wife had decided to limit their sex life to once or when he’s lucky, twice in a month, he had had to resort to crazy sexual thoughts. It wasn’t that he was a sex addict, but he had stayed faithful for a whole year of courtship and now, he had to remain celibate in marriage?

Leslie considered his sexual appetite too excessive and uncalled for. Sometimes, he caught her expression when he tried to be all romantic and touchy, and he could tell it was usually one of repulsion. She had become so secretive and moody that Kane didn’t know what to do anymore because no matter how much he pressed her to talk, she would never say anything. It seemed her friend, Mary, was even more interesting than he was to her because he could tell his wife showed more life and enthusiasm whenever Mary was around.

A light tap on his desk jarred him from his jumbled thoughts. It was his Dad looking at him with concerned eyes. The older man quietly drew a chair and sat down in front of his son, neither men speaking for a while.

“I have noticed this new far-away look on you for a while now. Is everything okay? Is Leslie giving you trouble?” The older man asked.

She had refused to talk in their first two visits but this third time, she had broken down and started crying when the therapist asked “Are you a lesbian?”

“Hmm Dad. I don’t know what to do anymore. I swear, I don’t. I am so lost and confused, what does she want?” Kane rambled.

“Calm down son and start from the beginning. What is the problem?”

Kane explained everything to his Dad, who listened without any interruptions. After he let his son talk, he finally responded.

“You said it does not seem like she’s cheating?”

“She comes home immediately after work, she only hangs out when Mary is around and they don’t stay out late. She doesn’t lock her phone neither does she fight nor neglect house chores. She just doesn’t want me near her, that’s the problem.” Kane confessed.

“Hmm. This seems like a very serious issue. Since she’s refusing to talk to you, no matter how much you press her, I’ll advise you get her to seek professional help. I’ll give you a number. It’s my friend’s. He is a psychologist and marriage counselor. I am sure he can help you.”

***

As Kane listened to his wife spill out her guts to the therapist after their third visit, he couldn’t help but feel so sorry for her. She had refused to talk in their first two visits but this third time, she had broken down and started crying when the therapist asked “Are you a lesbian?”

Leslie had thought she was bisexual because she looked at the therapist and said “Maybe I’m Bi.”

“No, Leslie, you’re not homosexual. You were just temporarily confused because your body needed a form of sexual outlet and since it wasn’t responding to men after what you went through, it only made sense for it to respond to the one person that understood your plight.”

The woman advised Leslie to try and stay away from Mary for a while, and she needed to realise, men are not evil. Not all men will hurt her. She also had to forgive herself and stop feeling worthless, but she had to go through this journey with her husband so that a new bond could be formed.

“Don’t rush it Leslie. Take it one step at a time. Find out why you chose Kane to go on this life long journey with you. You also need a Lil prayer every now and then. It will not hurt to commit everything in God’s hands. You might just be surprised at how much everything else will fall in place. Also, advise Mary to come see me. She also needs help.”

***

Leslie is now a proud mother of two and she couldn’t have been any happier with the man who fathered them. All she needed was someone to show her the best path and everything worked out just fine.

© Oluwaseun Wende, 2017

Seun is a 200 level student of Medicine and Surgery, Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma. Edo State, Nigeria. She is also a creative writer and blogger…

Visit her Webpage for more

Bea’s Aloe (Best of Stories)

A Lil’ Help!

You are a Success!

You are a Success!

I didn’t say ‘You are successful’. I chose my words carefully. Success is one concept that is difficult to pin down to a specific universal definition. It’s an elusive, evasive and slippery idea. Frankly, what really is success? What are the yardsticks for determining a complete success story?

If getting married was success, Jesus was a failure.

If being unmarried was success, Mohammed was a failure.

If amassing college degrees was success, George Washington was a failure.

If growing gray hair and dying old was success, Alexander The Great were failures. (He died at 32years of age).

If being the wealthiest man was success, Albert Einstein was a failure (in his time).

I think you get the gist by now.

There’s no way you’d define success universally without making light of and alienating many notable names; apparent success stories.

I wouldn’t say success is relative, but I’d say it is subjective. If it was relative (to persons), a murderer may define serial killing as his idea of success. But nobody in his or her right mind should see that as success. The fact that he kills people successfully doesn’t mean he is a success story. But when I say success is subjective, it means that the meaning of success is subject to circumstances and/or experiences of one’s life. For instance, a man who was physically and sexually abused as a boy is a success if he grows up to empower rather than abuse others. Rising above negative circumstances and experiences of life is my definition of success. The moment you rise above your negative circumstances, you are the real MVP (a success story).

A friend told the story of his life thus;

I remember when I was admitted to Nigerian Law School. My hope of being called to the Nigerian Bar was almost dashed. The problem was the Law School Tuition. It was #230,000. This was 2007/2008 Academic Session. You see, in my family at that time, #230,000 was a fortune. It would be a fortune if your Dad was a retired low-level NEPA official (Pensioner) and your Mum a medium-scale trader. My Dad literally called a nuclear family meeting to discuss how we would raise the almighty tuition so that I could make it to Law School. He even considered selling his car at the time.

Folks, that amount was a big deal to us. Well, to cut to the chase, through sweat and blood, my Dad raised the money. I don’t even want to know how. All I know is that on the day I was given the cash to pay into the Nigerian Law School designated account, I became paranoid. It felt like I was being followed. Until that day, I had never held that much cash in my life. I was more vigilant than an FBI agent even in the bank premises. I only regained my sanity after the cashier gave me my Bank Teller and said, ‘have a nice day’.

Today, for one court case, I charge almost twice or triple that amount. Someone might wonder, ‘but I spend #500,000 on feeding every month and you charge that for a lawsuit?’ Exactly! And that’s why success is subjective. One man’s lunch money is another man’s weekly budget. And they may both be success stories because their circumstances are radically different. My parents went to great lengths, running from pillar to post just to get #230,000. I make double or triple that amount in one brief. That is Success to me and my parents especially. They did for me what was not done for them. They rose above their own circumstances.

You too can. And when you do, you are for all intents and purposes a Success. No matter what your bank account reads, if you can rise above your challenges, You are a Success!

Work Your Strength

Work your Strength

We are all unique, each one of us with different skills, talents, reasoning, energy level, needs, greed, targets and history (STRENGTH), and that makes us special in our own way.

Some years back, there was this young undergraduate, he wasn’t too good academically, he was what most students call “let my people go”, he would not fail but he would always be on the bother line. Friends tried to help him with his studies and he tried his best to study hard but somehow he just doesn’t get it.

However, when it comes to business, this guy is never short of ideas. While he was in school, he was into importation of car spare parts, he helped most of his lectures to import spare parts for their exotic cars. After graduation, he could only manage a ” Pass Grade”, he decided to go into business fully but because he had just little money to start, he decided to go into importation of flashy Japanese cars on request, he does all the hard work till the car is cleared at the port and he was able to make a lot as he grew smarter in the business. Five years after living school, while his colleagues with good grades were still trying to adjust to the labour market, he was already making millions.

We are all special and blessed with something only very few people can do like we can. We might not be able to do things people expect from us but there are things we are capable of that can yield more than what people expect of us. You might not be talented to play football, sing, write or even be good academically, that doesn’t make you less special, there are a million and one other things you can be good at and when you can work your strength you will be whatever you desire.

Play to your strength, feed what you are good at. Put in everything you have got till it starts to pay off. Someone said, ‘Selah i wish i can write like you’ and i replied him ‘i wish i can talk like you’. we are gifted in different areas and that’s what makes us standout as individuals. We can maximize what we are blessed with by working to our strength, putting in efforts and channelling our resources to become better at what we are already gifted at.

I remember some twins i met, these twins are not identical in any way, Kehinde was brilliant while Taye was just the opposite. Their parents tried to slow Kehinde down academically just hoping Taye would catch up but all their efforts proved abortive, Taye wasn’t just the book type. By age 15, Kehinde was done with secondary (high) school while Taye was still stuck at Primary (elementary) six. However, Taye was a gifted artiste, without any special training Taye was already drawing a ‘look alike sketch’. The parents thought it wise to send Taye to a technical school to become an artiste while Kehinde went to university to study law. Today, both are doing very fine, Taye with his own art studio while Kehinde works for a law firm.

Nobody is useless! Because a fish cannot survive on dry land doesn’t make it inferior to a bird that walks the land, and because the bird cannot survive in water doesn’t make it inferior to fishes that swim the ocean. We are all unique in our own way. We all have our areas of expertise, we should not be shy to explore our strength, we should not give into what people expect from us that we fail to do what we know how to do best.

You are already a winner, all you need to do is to work your strength! Put your Skills to use, develop your Talents, give the decisions to your Reasoning, maximize the use of your Energy, take care of your Needs, don’t let your Greed ruin your life, act with your Targets in mind at all times and never ever forget your History.

​Interview with a player 5

​Interview with a player 5

This is my interview with a new friend of mine, he used to be a player, a heartbreaker and a chronic womanizer. He agreed to share some of his experiences with me and I hope we can all learn from them as well as from the few notes I took during the interview. You are welcome to the series.

Previously on Interview with a player

Selahsomeone: Welcome back readers, let’s learn as Mr. A continues with his story.
Selahsomeone: Mr. A welcome back after a long absence. I am glad to have you back. So let’s start this way, how did you handle it, when the truth came out that Miss O had been playing you all along?

Mr. A: Nice to be back Selah. 

To be honest, I was taken by surprise with the turn of events with Miss O. She fooled me right from the onset. After she showed me the text, I now told her, nothing like that happened at Miss D’s place that it was all a ploy to unravel the mystery behind her threat texts, calls and claimed beatings. There and then she knew her game was up, she then started crying, she claimed she did it all for love and because she was scared of losing me. Selah, I was dazed, I have been played by one lady I could have sworn was naïve. She lied about Miss T and her lies practically killed every good memories of Miss T and almost made me an enemy of my good student.

You don’t judge by looks, when it comes to relationship even what the eyes see cannot be trusted. People can hide things and still join you in searching for them. 

Selahsomeone: Hmm, painful I guess. But the truth is, the player was played, big time.

Mr. A: Hmm, you might want to say, that about summarized it. Though, a part of me realized that, it still didn’t feel less painful. Anyway, there and then, I made up my mind it was over with Miss O, I may be a cheat but I was not ready to settle down with another cheat, remember no honor amongst thieves.

Selahsomeone: So true. Okay, so what happened after that, your promise to take up her school responsibilities, miss D and Miss B?

Mr. A: Selah, a lot happened. My service was over and almost immediately, I got a job with one of the old generation banks. The pay was quite good for a fresh graduate and luckily Miss O got admission at the prestigious university in Ibadan. Even though we had agreed to go our separate ways, I still paid her fees up till her final year. And for miss D, I eventually found out she too had been all lies; false claim of being a virgin (still don’t understand why girls lie about things like that), she had an incurable appetite for sex (actually that’s about all she knew how to do then, she is much different now though, because I still keep in touch) so, I had to let her go too. Finally, I was left with Miss B. 

Lies are the worst foundation you can build your relationship(s) on because when it storms, it would be blown away. You are better of, starting with the truth and reaching an understanding before you consolidate on what you have.

Selahsomeone: Wow! If I was right, that would be your 7th year of being together.

Mr. A: 8th actually! But unfortunately that was the last year we spent together.

Selahsomeone: What happened *now I was very curious* what could have separated Mr. A and Miss B (A&B connection) after everything they have been through?

Mr. A: Sometimes, karma has a way of coming back at us when we least expect. I proposed to Miss B on New Year’s eve of 2007 and sure her answer was “Yes”. We agreed we had to mend things with her cousins Miss K and Miss F (who both were still single at the time). We called them up one after the other, Miss K was too quick to give her blessings while Miss F was a bit reluctant but eventually she said okay but advised Miss B gets pregnant before we inform her parents (Miss B lost both of her parents some 5years back and since then Miss F’s parents had been like her Forster parents). 

Miss F’s advice made a lot of sense. Miss F’s parents knew I dated her, so if I now showed up that I want to marry Miss B, it will definitely be a No No but if she was pregnant, they would probably have no choice. So we agreed she should get pregnant, even though she was having her NYSC up north, she was most times with me. For over 6months we tried to no avail, we did tests and we were told we are both fine but still I couldn’t get her pregnant. Finally, after her service year, we agreed she should go back to Lagos for some few weeks then come back finally and stay with me while we hatch a new plan for our wedding. 

Some things would not work out just the way we want, not because we didn’t try enough but because somehow what we desire won’t fall fit in God’s perfect picture of us. Learn to live with your unanswered prayers!

That morning when she was going back to Lagos, I noticed she wasn’t her cheerful self, I asked her what the matter was but she just smiled and said, “I am going to miss you!”. I tried my best to comfort her, I told her it was just for some weeks and that I would always be with her on phone. I took her to the park, I was accompanied by a friend, I pulled her back as she was about to board the bus, I hugged her and I couldn’t miss the tears in her eyes, I smiled and planted a kiss on the teary cheek. She boarded the bus, I waited till the the bus was filled and the bus left. 

This was around past 7am, it was a Monday morning and I have to make it back to the office before 7:30am. It couldn’t have been up to 10mins when Miss B’s bus left when a text message came into my phone. I was driving, so asked my friend to check the text and read it to me.  He took my phone, flipped through the text and he said, ” turn the car around or pack this is bad”.

I was so confused, so I packed and snatched the phone from his hand to read the text and it went like this…

“‘A’ my love, it is so sad all these have to end, I want to be with you forever, God knows I want to but sometimes walking away is the only way forward, now that it is so clear some how the universe is against us. I will miss you and will forever cherish you. Never to see again!

Yours

B

PS: Don’t bother calling because I am breaking my SIMs now”

Selahsomeone: *sigh* wow! That’s harsh and almost unbelievable considering what you guys went though together and how many hearts suffered along the way. Did you make any effort to get her back?

We make the craziest decisions when we are emotional, often this point is our weakest yet we get stronger with each experience especially when we are not drowned by the bitterness or joy.

Mr. A: Selah, yes I did. I couldn’t reach her on any of her lines, and almost everyone we had in common said they didn’t hear from her. It was like in the movies, she disappeared only to resurface 3months after and guess what Selah!?! 

She was getting married!

Selahsomeone: What? How? To whom?

Mr. A: Same questions that gave me sleepless nights. This totally broke my heart and harden the shattered pieces. I was taken for a fool by Miss T, played over and over again by miss O and finally dumped after everything by Miss B, i spun out of control and ended up in a players rendezvous.

Selahsomeone: RENDEZVOUS? Can you shed more light?

To be continued

​THE LIFE OF A KING

THE LIFE OF A KING

In the game of chess, it is universally known that there are different officials on the chessboard with different level of strength and power, from the puns to the knights, and to the bishops and the rooks, and then to the queen, but the King is the most important of all. In fact, the queen can move both horizontally and vertically, and the King can only move a step to anywhere, yet the King has the ultimate prominence on the chessboard. It is interesting to know that no matter how talented, strong or versatile an official is on the chessboard, its primary duty is to protect the King from being checkmated or captured; the moment they capture your King, even with the queen and other powerful officials around, you have lost the battle, that is, game over. If you are primarily obliged to protect your King from being captured, then, the ultimate rule for playing the chess game is to think before you move.

There lived a chess grandmaster named Eugene Brown in the United States of America. He spent his youthful days as a drug dealer, and when the law caught up with him, he spent seventeen years of his life in prison. However, it was in the prison he finally found the purpose for his life and the ultimate rule of living. He played the game of chess throughout his year of imprisonment, and discovered that life is a game of chess, and everyone is a player. He painfully discovered that in his youthful days, he had only been moving his officials on the chessboard without thinking; he had been living his life carelessly without weighing the consequences, and the consequence of that unfortunately is that his King took the fall. After he was released from prison, he managed to secure a job in a high school as a cleaner. He had the chance to watch over the juvenile delinquents of the school in their confinement room, and showed great prowess in keeping them in order, and that was how he started impacting in the lives of the youths, he started to teach them the game of chess and its relevance to their respective lives. Even though he was later sacked from the school due to the revelation of his being an ex-convict, he later set up a chess club which produced excellent chess players and character-refined youths. Guess what the slogan of his chess club was- ‘think b4 you move’.     

Many youths nowadays also make the same mistake Eugene Brown made and had cost him seventeen years of his life. Yes, he did make a better life out of himself after been an ex-convict, but just imagine if he had been thinking before moving, and he had rather spent seventeen years of his life living his dream and living right, just imagine what he might have achieved. That is exactly the same with youths now, most of them don’t think before making decisions, and they later make costly mistakes which they bitterly regret. It is one thing to be talented or gifted, it is one thing to have big dreams, crystal-clear visions and impeccably structured future plans and it is one thing to have a good character. It is one thing to use the queen, knights, rooks and bishops to destroy the enemy’s defense, and it is one thing to keep yourself from losing by protecting your King. The King is your character, it is something you must protect to earn dignity and integrity, and dignity and integrity are the things you must earn to keep your talents or gifts, dreams, visions, plans, ability, capacity and agility relevant to the service of humanity. Your moral force or character is the stronghold or pillar of whatever you possess or might possess, and the moment things go wrong with your character, all other things like admiration, reputation, personality, prestige, power, honour and even wealth crumples onto the ground, and trust me, the rare chances to build them back up is very slim, and is not worth taking the risk. Therefore, protect your King jealously, protect your character carefully, and do that by ‘thinking before you move’.     

By Gbenga Kajopaiye

Read more from this talented writer especially his latest book

Title: The Married Bachelor


Genre: Modern African Fiction (Novel)

  Description: The story is set in the middle of a Nigerian economic recession; two young couples with an agile romantic were caught up in it. Their marriage is almost a year old when suddenly the roses of romance became pricking thorns of violence. Simi believes Teju is cheating on her and pursues justice. Teju on the other hand strives to show his unflinching love to Simi without knowing someone has come between them. And when he gets to know, he commits murder to save his marriage, but it is accidental. Would he be able get back his wife’s trust, can he save his marriage or would his strong love cost him his life?   

Link to the book: http://www.okadabooks.com/book/about/the_married_bachelor/13851  

I Don’t Want To Be Successful

I Don’t Want To Be Successful

Some days back I got this terrifying message from a teenager on my Facebook messenger “Selah, I don’t want to be successful“. I was so shocked, and immediately asked for his phone number so I can call him and get a better understanding of why and how he reached that hard-to-believe conclusion. When I finally got through to him, and heard his explanation, his earlier statement wasn’t as shocking as it sounded before. 

“I love your write ups Selah or do I say Sir, because it emphasizes self-belief, awareness, courage and faith but I don’t want to be successful. My father is very successful but because of that he doesn’t have time for us and in turn I do so many crazy things just to get his attention. He provides everything we need; money, clothes, vacation, good school but he is never there when we need him. Sometimes, I wish he just dies, so I will know I don’t have a father. Mum said he wasn’t this detached before success came and often I catch her crying too because she feels lonely. I have two other younger ones, they really don’t care because they seem to be used to dad not being around. Selah, success took our father from us and I have also sworn not to be successful so I can be there for my own children.” 

Those were his words (as much as I was able to document). I told him I understood his point but I am sure success had nothing to do with not having their dad around. I tried to encourage him and I promised to keep following up with him.

That night, I kept on pondering, was it success that took their father or misplaced priorities on the part of their father. In the first instance, from his explanation, his father is not successful, he is only rich. My understanding of success is having your dreams come true and for a family man your dreams should not only be having a flourishing source of income but also being a good father to your kids and husband to your wife. Success goes beyond money, even though too often we have made riches our yardstick for success, success touches every aspect of our lives; finance, health, family, spiritual, relaxation, relationship etc.

Perfection is something we aspire to be, so I understand that we are not perfect but trying or attempting is very important. Money would never replace time we have to spend with our loved ones as a father, a mother, a husband, a wife, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a brother, a sister or even a mentor. The key is to priotize carefully and consistently. Success should not be limited to bank balances, a successful person shines in all ramifications. Dictionary.com defines success as the accomplishment of one’s goals, not one goal but multiple goals. Being successful presupposes you must have attained success in most aspects of life and you must have touched many lives in many ways.

Whoever you are, don’t be too focused on financial success that you forget success goes beyond finance, success is way bigger than how much you have in your account.

So to my friend, you can be successful without neglecting your children, in fact, true success includes a well taken care family. What took your dad away from you was not success but misplaced priorities on the path of your father. Deciding to be a failure or an average is not going to get you the right attention from him or the world, rather excelling beyond expectations would put you in the right position to talk while he and others listen. Life is not a bed of roses, lots of people are passing through worse things but they have only resolved to make the best out of a very bad situation. Be strong, be hopeful and be courageous, your mum and your siblings need you more now than ever and just in case you have not noticed, they are already looking up to you.