Performing Beyond Expectations

Performing Beyond Expectations

Please read this message and see what makes you different from other person.

*This is what I called life assessment without argument.*

Ezra and Thomas joined a company together a few months after their graduation from university. After a few years of work, their Manager promoted Ezra to a position of Senior Sales Manager, but Thomas remained in his entry level Junior Sales Officer position. Thomas developed a sense of jealousy and disgruntlement, but continued working anyway. One day Thomas felt that he could not work with Ezra anymore. He wrote his resignation letter, but before he submitted it to the Manager, he complained that Management did not value hard working staff, but promoted only the favoured!

The Manager knew that Ezra worked very hard for the years he had spent at the company; even harder than Thomas and therefore he deserved the promotion. So in order to help Thomas to realize this, the Manager gave Thomas a task. “Go and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?” Thomas returned and said, “yes there is someone!” The Manager asked, “how much per kg?” Thomas drove back to town to ask and then returned to inform the Manager; “they are N100.00 per kg!”

*The Manager told Thomas,* “I will give Ezra the same task that I gave you. Please pay close attention to his response!” So the Manager said to Ezra, in the presence of Thomas; “Go and find out if anyone is selling water melons in town?” Ezra went to find out and on his return he said: *”Manager, there is only one person selling water melons in the whole town”.* The cost is N500.00 each water melon and N300,00 for a half melon. He sells them at N100.00 per kg when sliced. He has in his stock 93 melons, each one weighing about 7kg. He has a farm and can supply us with melons for the next 4 months at a rate of 102 melons per day at N350.00 per melon; this includes delivery. The melons appear fresh and red with good quality, and they taste better than the ones we sold last year. He has his own slicing machine and is willing to slice for us free of charge. We need to strike a deal with him before 10am tomorrow and we will be sure of beating last year’s profits in melons by over N2,300,000.00. This will contribute positively to our overall performance as it will add a minimum of 8.78% to our current overall sales target. I have put this information down in writing and is available on spreadsheet. Please let me know if you need it as I can send it to you in fifteen minutes.”

Thomas was very impressed and realized the difference between himself and Ezra. He decided not to resign but to learn from Ezra.

As we go ahead with our daily decisions on where we ought to be and what ought to be, let this story help us keep in mind the importance of going an Extra Mile in all our endeavors.

As an Event Producer, Baker, Consultant, Draper etc; hoping to grow to the top of their game within our businesses; you won’t be rewarded for doing what you’re meant to do, you are already paid, for that!

HOWEVER, YOU WILL ONLY GET EXTRA RECOGNITION FOR GOING AN EXTRA MILE

Performing Beyond Expectations. ABOVE AND BEYOND.

To be Successful in Life,

You must be Observant, Proactive and Willing to Do More, Think More,

Have a More Holistic Perspective and Go Beyond The Call Of Duty.

Author: Unknown

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A Lil’ Help!

As Leslie watched the pregnancy test stick on the bathroom counter, she couldn’t help but silently pray it was positive. That would be a whole lot of weight and stress off her shoulders.

It wasn’t like she and her husband Kane, were old or (have been) searching for a long time. In fact, their marriage was barely six months old and neither Kane nor their families was pestering her for a child. Yet, she knew she needed to be pregnant at all cost.

The alarm clock on her phone vibrated, signifying the end of the five minutes wait. She held her breath and gently peeked at the test. She couldn’t help the sudden rush of disappointment that filled her when she realised it was negative. She angrily pushed the stick and every other thing on the counter away.

She sank to her knees and gently placed herself on the bathroom floor as she cried silently. She couldn’t help but think about why it was very necessary for her to get pregnant. She needed it as an excuse for her husband to stop wanting her or touching her sexually.

To her surprise, Mary did not blame her. Mary had understood, even more than she had thought was possible. It was such a great relief.

No, she did not despise her husband. On the contrary, she had grown to love Kane, yet it was pretty difficult to make love to her husband. Each time, she had to think of something else, or in her case, someone else. She didn’t know why, but Kane’s touch repulsed her even though in her head she knew she loved him.

The problem had started in her final year in the University. She had been a victim of a gang rape, which led to bouts of depression afterwards. It did not help that her friend and roommate blamed her for walking at night even though she had been on her way to class to read. She had felt so useless and she never thought she would ever have anything to do with sex again.

Then she met Mary during her NYSC days. Mary was her roommate in the lodge they were given by the company they served. Mary had quickly noticed her skittish nature around guys. After much pressure, she finally caved and told Mary about her experience. To her surprise, Mary did not blame her. Mary had understood, even more than she had thought was possible. It was such a great relief.

Then Mary started becoming nicer, extra loving, attentive and most of all, extra touchy. At first, it was all strange but then she started enjoying it. The little touches became frequent hugs, cuddles then it advanced to pecks. She was very ready when Mary finally introduced her to full blown sexual activities. Mary told her only a fellow woman would ever understand her body and make her feel that much pleasure.

It wasn’t that he was a sex addict, but he had stayed faithful for a whole year of courtship and now, he had to remain celibate in marriage?

After service, she was retained by the company and Mary left, though she would occasionally come over for visits and other things. Then her parents introduced her to Kane who had just been called to Bar and had joined his Father’s chambers as a young Barrister. Both parents had high expectations for them and they did not disappoint because they got married after a year.

Then things became strained when after a month, she still hadn’t let her husband touch her even after making him wait all through their courtship days. It wasn’t like she didn’t love him, she did. A whole lot. Yet, she couldn’t get turned on by him sexually until she had to resort to thinking about Mary and their past escapades.

Things went back to normal for a while until she started finding Kane’s sexual appetite too much for her man-hating body to handle, which was why she needed to get pregnant ASAP. That way, she’ll be safe from his touch for nine months.

Leslie knew she was in serious trouble, she had researched it and the internet had called her bisexual. How was she supposed to get over this when her husband was slowly becoming colder and slipping from her grasp?

***

Kane sighed as he stared at the files the pretty secretary just dropped on his table. His thoughts weren’t there at all. A glimpse of the petite secretary’s cleavage had stirred something in him. He shook his head and stared at the shiny wedding band on his finger to clear his rampaging thoughts.

Kane explained everything to his Dad, who listened without any interruptions. After he let his son talk, he finally responded.

“You said it does not seem like she’s cheating?”

Ever since his wife had decided to limit their sex life to once or when he’s lucky, twice in a month, he had had to resort to crazy sexual thoughts. It wasn’t that he was a sex addict, but he had stayed faithful for a whole year of courtship and now, he had to remain celibate in marriage?

Leslie considered his sexual appetite too excessive and uncalled for. Sometimes, he caught her expression when he tried to be all romantic and touchy, and he could tell it was usually one of repulsion. She had become so secretive and moody that Kane didn’t know what to do anymore because no matter how much he pressed her to talk, she would never say anything. It seemed her friend, Mary, was even more interesting than he was to her because he could tell his wife showed more life and enthusiasm whenever Mary was around.

A light tap on his desk jarred him from his jumbled thoughts. It was his Dad looking at him with concerned eyes. The older man quietly drew a chair and sat down in front of his son, neither men speaking for a while.

“I have noticed this new far-away look on you for a while now. Is everything okay? Is Leslie giving you trouble?” The older man asked.

She had refused to talk in their first two visits but this third time, she had broken down and started crying when the therapist asked “Are you a lesbian?”

“Hmm Dad. I don’t know what to do anymore. I swear, I don’t. I am so lost and confused, what does she want?” Kane rambled.

“Calm down son and start from the beginning. What is the problem?”

Kane explained everything to his Dad, who listened without any interruptions. After he let his son talk, he finally responded.

“You said it does not seem like she’s cheating?”

“She comes home immediately after work, she only hangs out when Mary is around and they don’t stay out late. She doesn’t lock her phone neither does she fight nor neglect house chores. She just doesn’t want me near her, that’s the problem.” Kane confessed.

“Hmm. This seems like a very serious issue. Since she’s refusing to talk to you, no matter how much you press her, I’ll advise you get her to seek professional help. I’ll give you a number. It’s my friend’s. He is a psychologist and marriage counselor. I am sure he can help you.”

***

As Kane listened to his wife spill out her guts to the therapist after their third visit, he couldn’t help but feel so sorry for her. She had refused to talk in their first two visits but this third time, she had broken down and started crying when the therapist asked “Are you a lesbian?”

Leslie had thought she was bisexual because she looked at the therapist and said “Maybe I’m Bi.”

“No, Leslie, you’re not homosexual. You were just temporarily confused because your body needed a form of sexual outlet and since it wasn’t responding to men after what you went through, it only made sense for it to respond to the one person that understood your plight.”

The woman advised Leslie to try and stay away from Mary for a while, and she needed to realise, men are not evil. Not all men will hurt her. She also had to forgive herself and stop feeling worthless, but she had to go through this journey with her husband so that a new bond could be formed.

“Don’t rush it Leslie. Take it one step at a time. Find out why you chose Kane to go on this life long journey with you. You also need a Lil prayer every now and then. It will not hurt to commit everything in God’s hands. You might just be surprised at how much everything else will fall in place. Also, advise Mary to come see me. She also needs help.”

***

Leslie is now a proud mother of two and she couldn’t have been any happier with the man who fathered them. All she needed was someone to show her the best path and everything worked out just fine.

© Oluwaseun Wende, 2017

Seun is a 200 level student of Medicine and Surgery, Ambrose Alli University, Ekpoma. Edo State, Nigeria. She is also a creative writer and blogger…

Visit her Webpage for more

Bea’s Aloe (Best of Stories)

A Lil’ Help!

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SEX AND MARRIAGE

The only thing you uniquely share with your spouse that you don’t share with anyone else is sex. So sex is the only thing that sets you and your spouse apart from simply being roommates. It’s a vital part of marriage.

Not only does sex set you and your spouse apart from simply being roommates, it also requires a deeper level of communication that you don’t normally do with just anyone. Sex requires you to talk to each other about intimate, emotional things. For example, to have a truly intimate experience with your spouse, you need to tell your spouse where you like to be touched, and make requests for certain things. This requires that you both feel a comfort level with each other that you’ve never felt with anyone else before. It requires both of you to become very vulnerable by asking, receiving and giving sexually. And it requires you to reach a deeper level of trust that your spouse will respond to your requests without judgment.

Sexual intimacy in marriage is sacred, beautiful and good. It is the deepest level of intimacy you and your spouse can share. In fact, ‘making love’ is such an intense bonding experience that the Bible refers to it as “becoming one flesh.”

The truth is, God ordained sexual intercourse as a way to foster unity in marriage. If handled properly, what this means is that sexual intimacy has the power to create intense physical, emotional and spiritual bonds between you and your spouse.

Part of the challenge, however, is that the man and the woman have different attitudes to sex. This is one of the reasons sex is a sore point in some marriages. It is therefore little wonder many couples are more tolerant with their sex lives than they are satisfied.

Although there is no magic number that can tell couples how often they should have sex, it is important for couples to discuss their needs openly with their partners and negotiate a relationship that meets both of their needs. While having sex less than 10 times a year is considered sexless, having sex once or twice a week is generally considered average.

It is also important to understand that lack of enough sex in marriage can have grievous consequences:

When there is a major disconnect in the sex lives of couples, intimacy at all levels tends to drop. Lack of sexual intimacy will further draw couples apart and make it difficult for them to handle other less serious problems.

People in sexless marriages are less happy in their unions and more likely to consider divorce.

It has also been found that infidelity in marriage is sometimes a result of a partner not getting enough sex at home. The partner who is not getting enough is tempted to look outside for his/her sexual needs (although this should never be considered as an option or condoned).question is: If sex is so important, and naturally pleasurable, as indeed it is, why is it that some couples struggle in that aspect of their lives?

FACTORS AFFECTING A HEALTHY SEX LIVES IN MARRIAGE.

1. PHYSICAL FACTOR

a. Fatigue
Fatigue resulting from too much work. If husband and wife work long hours, there is less interest in sex. The demands of work and home rob people of their energy. This is often the case when husband and wife work round the clock to earn good salaries.

b. Routine and boredom
After about five years of marriage issues crop up in the marriage: loans/debts, school fees, frustrations at work, house maintenance and chores etc. Husband and wife settle into a home routine that almost always does not include sex. When they were just married, sex was more frequent. The sex was still great before the children started coming, but when more pressing problems come up, sex goes to the bottom rung of the ladder.

c. Medical condition.
Husband or wife develops a medical condition that could significantly lessen their sex drive, either from the condition itself or from the effects of the medication.
Men especially have this issue with performance problems such as premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction, but women also can have issues such as loss of feeling after childbirth and changes to the female reproductive system that can make sexual intercourse unbearable.

2. EMOTIONAL FACTORS

Couples may have unresolved differences that prevent them from enjoying sex together.

Unhealthy attitudes about sex. One spouse may have been raised to think that sex is more of a duty than something to derive pleasure from.

3. CULTURAL FACTORS

Cultural differences could affect the quality and frequency of sex between mixed-marriage couples.

4. PSYCHOLOGICAL FACTORS.
Deeply-seated psychological problems that make sex impossible. These could be anxiety, fear, or being a rape or incest victim in the past.
Other hindrances to sex in marriage include a job loss, a death in the family, or financial difficulties. Infidelity on the part of one spouse could also lead to the loss of interest in being intimate. Trust issues are also a factor.

Now, a lot of problems can also arise from a terrible sexual history. Some who were sexually abused in childhood become frigid, even when they are married; some become sexually wild and insatiable. Naturally speaking, this can affect people throughout their lifetime. But it shouldn’t. What you should do in such instances is talk to a professional counselor or pastor about it. Most importantly, talk to God, allow His Word heal your mind.
Now, if you are having sex with someone who is not your wife or husband, this is the time to break off that relationship because could destroy your marriage faster. And if your unfaithfulness in the past is constituting a hindrance to your having sexual fulfillment in marriage, then genuinely ask God for forgiveness and move on.

If you are married and your sex life is not as great as it should be, here are some for sexual intimacy.

TIPS FOR SEXUAL INTIMACY

1. Shun selfishness.
Sex is not just about you, it also about (and I dare say, much more about) your spouse. So get out of that ‘selfish mode’ and begin to place the needs of your spouse above your own.

2. Understand your differences.
God wired the man and the woman differently, so this affects their sexual desires and the way they handle sex generally. Together, you and your spouse can make the best of your differences.

3. Learn to forgive.
Resolve any lingering issues in your relationship that have not been dealt with properly.

4. Keep the fire of romance burning.
Sex is better and more rewarding when the ‘environment’ and accompaniment are right. With your husband or wife, constantly look for and embrace new and exciting ways to make your love and sex lives better and God-honouring.

5. Keep the communication line open.
It has been discovered that couples who talk over their sex lives (as well as other aspects of their marriages) tend to have healthier marriages. So learn to talk things over with your spouse.

6. Make time for rest and relaxation.
Today, many work very hard in pursuit of money and the good things of life, but so readily put off working on their relationships. We must understand that if there is no intimate bond between spouses, all that hard work is ultimately unfulfilling. The loss of our relationship can have deep consequences. So make out time for your spouse—just for relaxation.

7. Constantly pray for opportunities to ‘connect’ with your spouse.
Never neglect prayers in seeking solutions to sexual issues with your spouse. You will be amazed that praying together and ‘breaking bread’ can remove obstacles to sexual intimacy.
Now, God wired us with a sex drive, and this is one of the most powerful forces man can experience.
However, like fire, when it is not contained and controlled, it becomes a damaging and destructive force.
May your sex be a pleasurable, relationship building and edifying experience in your marriage now and always. Amen.

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SEX AND MARRIAGE

Your Attention Span

Your Attention Span

I learned a lesson from my little boy that I love to share with you.

My little boy is such a fine 4year old with lots of enthusiasm about almost everything; he wants to write, draw, discover new things, play and watch Nickelodeon all at the same time. On this day, he was trying to reassemble his scattered toy and he was at it for some minutes, trying to connect one part to another. As he was about getting it, another thing caught his attention, a piece of paper and pen, so he left his toy and moved to drawing with his new found writing tools. As I was still wondering why he left a toy he seemed so much interested in few minutes ago, I noticed he wasn’t even drawing again, now he was face fixed on SpongeBob on Nickelodeon. I just smiled and said to myself, “he still has short attention span”. Then it hit me, it might be excusable for my little boy but then some adults still suffer from this, especially with their dreams.

The average human attention span was 12 seconds in 2000 and 8 seconds in 2013. A drop of 33%. The scary part is that the attention span of a goldfish was 9 seconds, almost 13% more than us humans. That’s why it’s getting tougher by the day to get people to turn the page. – Ashwin Sanghi

Having so many talents and energy is a very good thing, in fact I love multitalented people but I have also noticed that most multitalented people are as confused as my little boy. Get this, being able to do so many things or being enthusiastic about different things is not a bad thing in itself, but not being able to see one thing through before jumping to another is dangerous. Going back to my little boy, he attempted about 3 things in less than 15minutes and he still didn’t achieve anything. Does this sound like you?

Short attention span has robbed many of the glory they seek; as they are working on one project, they jump to another and before they can achieve anything meaningful they hump on to another. The truth is, getting something done requires that we give that thing most, if not all of our attention. Most of us, myself inclusive, are guilty of this, once we try once or twice we abandon it and move to another thing, and before the turn of the year we would have tried more things than can be counted with the fingers, while if we had stayed with one idea, try and try and try till it starts working by the same turn of the year we would have gone really far.

Whatever you want to do, whatever is placed in your heart, whatever you are so convinced is your way, do everything within your means to follow it through. – Selahsomeone

Take for instance, today we want to do music, tomorrow we want to do modelling and before that could click we are thinking of going into branding business and so on, and at the end of the day we realize we have achieved nothing but pieces of dreams that can’t be put together. Understand this, having many streams of income presupposes that you establish one stream before moving unto another, not that you do one half way, then you jump to another.

Whatever you want to do, whatever is placed in your heart, whatever you are so convinced is your way, do everything within your means to follow it through. Yes! There will be hitches, hurdles and even mountains to climb but none would be enduring if you are persistent consistently. You will be tempted to quit and try something else but as the saying goes quitters don’t win. If you quit this now for something else, then soon you will quit that something else for another thing the moment you are faced with challenges. Even though we see ourselves doing so much, it is wiser to do things one at a time or at most combining two things that we can work together. Let’s look at people who have made impact, most of them are known for one or two achievements. You see, it is always easier to run faster when your load is light.

Be resolute in your approach, work on your attention span, be as excited as you were at the beginning even at the crises middle up till you start seeing results. Good ideas might get you started but without consistency and daily renewed passion, good ideas won’t translate to success. Focus on what you know you are best at and give it all your attention, don’t quit because the results are taking too long to come and say you want to try something else, be diligent, be persistent and be consistent, and when you become fully established in that thing you are best at, you can now bring in your other talents to support it.

You are a Success!

You are a Success!

I didn’t say ‘You are successful’. I chose my words carefully. Success is one concept that is difficult to pin down to a specific universal definition. It’s an elusive, evasive and slippery idea. Frankly, what really is success? What are the yardsticks for determining a complete success story?

If getting married was success, Jesus was a failure.

If being unmarried was success, Mohammed was a failure.

If amassing college degrees was success, George Washington was a failure.

If growing gray hair and dying old was success, Alexander The Great were failures. (He died at 32years of age).

If being the wealthiest man was success, Albert Einstein was a failure (in his time).

I think you get the gist by now.

There’s no way you’d define success universally without making light of and alienating many notable names; apparent success stories.

I wouldn’t say success is relative, but I’d say it is subjective. If it was relative (to persons), a murderer may define serial killing as his idea of success. But nobody in his or her right mind should see that as success. The fact that he kills people successfully doesn’t mean he is a success story. But when I say success is subjective, it means that the meaning of success is subject to circumstances and/or experiences of one’s life. For instance, a man who was physically and sexually abused as a boy is a success if he grows up to empower rather than abuse others. Rising above negative circumstances and experiences of life is my definition of success. The moment you rise above your negative circumstances, you are the real MVP (a success story).

A friend told the story of his life thus;

I remember when I was admitted to Nigerian Law School. My hope of being called to the Nigerian Bar was almost dashed. The problem was the Law School Tuition. It was #230,000. This was 2007/2008 Academic Session. You see, in my family at that time, #230,000 was a fortune. It would be a fortune if your Dad was a retired low-level NEPA official (Pensioner) and your Mum a medium-scale trader. My Dad literally called a nuclear family meeting to discuss how we would raise the almighty tuition so that I could make it to Law School. He even considered selling his car at the time.

Folks, that amount was a big deal to us. Well, to cut to the chase, through sweat and blood, my Dad raised the money. I don’t even want to know how. All I know is that on the day I was given the cash to pay into the Nigerian Law School designated account, I became paranoid. It felt like I was being followed. Until that day, I had never held that much cash in my life. I was more vigilant than an FBI agent even in the bank premises. I only regained my sanity after the cashier gave me my Bank Teller and said, ‘have a nice day’.

Today, for one court case, I charge almost twice or triple that amount. Someone might wonder, ‘but I spend #500,000 on feeding every month and you charge that for a lawsuit?’ Exactly! And that’s why success is subjective. One man’s lunch money is another man’s weekly budget. And they may both be success stories because their circumstances are radically different. My parents went to great lengths, running from pillar to post just to get #230,000. I make double or triple that amount in one brief. That is Success to me and my parents especially. They did for me what was not done for them. They rose above their own circumstances.

You too can. And when you do, you are for all intents and purposes a Success. No matter what your bank account reads, if you can rise above your challenges, You are a Success!

How To Manage a fail

How To Manage a fail

Every successful person had failed at one thing or the other at a point in time. If you are willing to improve on yourself or try new things then you are bound to fail at a point, if you do not quit however, you will eventually succeed.

When we fail to get something we have worked so hard for, we tend to believe it is the end, nothing else is worth trying. Know this, the end of one thing is always the beginning of another but you have to decide what begins at the end of your fail. What some have termed epic fail has turned out to be the spurring beginning of a big time success streak for others. Our fails should spur us to trying again and again and again, after all we have learned new things from our last fail that would definitely help us to do better, if we try again.

There are few tricks to managing the fallouts of a fail to ensure you don’t get drowned in what is just temporary.

1. See a fail as an opportunity to learn: Because you failed doesn’t necessary mean you are not good enough rather most fails are just pointers to the fact that there are some things you don’t know yet. When you embrace a fail as an opportunity to learn new things, it won’t weigh you down, rather it will increase your desire to succeed. Success is not some thing we pick from the streets like garbage, success requires work on the dream and most importantly work on self. There are certain things we will have to give up and some things we will have learn to become successful, fails teach that!

2. Keep your focus on your dreams and not your current situation: It is easy after a big loss to get lost in the weakness of that moment. For example, in a Football league a team won’t say because they have lost their first two matches, they have lost the hope of winning the title, they know there is still a long way to go! The chase after success is not a dash, it is a marathon! The focus has to be on the dream or goal not what is currently happening; attention on goals not circumstances. Loss or fail is just an event not the whole story, we need understand this. How the story plays out depend on what we make of the different events in the story.

3. Avoid people with depressing comments: After a fail, it is not uncommon to have people around in a pity party mood with depressing comments that can kill one’s zeal to give it another shot; avoid this! We have the power to control the atmosphere in and around us by the choices we make. Even when you don’t have control over what you hear, you can still decide on what and who you listen to and when you can’t control what and who you see, you can always control the ideas you meditate on. Exercise your power of choice as your life and dreams depend on it.

4. Keep yourself motivated at all times: It is said that motivation is like having bath, you need it all the time to keep you refreshed but after a fail, you even need it more. It is like after a workout, even if you had showered already in the day, you would still need another to feel alright. After fails are exactly when you need motivations the most because at these times we are most vulnerable, different thoughts cross our mind; of regrets, of disgust, of weariness, of doubts, of distrust and if we allow them to take root, they will destroy all the hard work we have already put in to get to where we are at the moment. So we need motivation to clear our head and set us back on track. Talk to your mentor, rub minds with people who have trodden the same path and came out successful.

5. Don’t forget where you are coming from: Fails have a way of making us forget past successes but we would have to remind ourselves where we started from and what has led us to where we are now. Most need for success are driven by our past sufferings, humiliations, frustrations and need to see things change, and if we keep these in mind and while not forgetting what hurdles we have surmounted along the way to get to this point, we will see that this fail is not enough to stop us. Like the Biblical Israelites, after all their long suffering in Egypt, they knew the Red sea was not big enough to send the back to where they are coming from, so somehow amazingly they matched through it.

Have a mindset of a winner, even when you fail see it as part of your learning process. Don’t quit, try again and again and again till you succeed!

Fundamental of an Healthy Marriage

Fundamental of an Healthy Marriage

Marriage is God sanctioned; it is an institution God initiated immediately after creating all that He created. God allowed marriage because it is the only institution capable of solving the complex society problems. If education was the solution, God would have raised Professors from the Garden of Eden, if it was politics, He would have raised politicians from inception, if it was religion, God would have raised Pastor and Imams from Eden but instead of all of these, God raised a family. Note this, if we all raise healthy and Godly families this world will be a better place for us all.

For us to raise a godly family, we must understand the role expected of us as a man or as a woman in marriage.

Genesis 1 vs 26: God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He Him; male and female created he them. I want us to at this point put up our thinking cap, God said he created He him, and also said He created them male and female. This means that it was not only man that was created at this point, a woman was also created. If we proceed a bit to Gen 2 vs 18, God says : And the Lord God said, “it is not good that man should be alone, I will make him an helper suitable for him(NIV). Looking at this, it could be interpreted that man that was created in Genesis 1 vs 26 was alone, but this is contrary to the word ” He created them male and female”. Genesis 2 vs 21: So the Lord cause the man to fall into a deep sleep; then took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place 22, the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man.

Get this, in Gen 1vs 26, God created them male and female, but the female could not be seen physically because she was still inside the man (except God was lying in verse 26, but you and I know He is not man that He would lie). Her being inside of a man hindered her from fulfilling the purpose for which she was created, so in Gen 2vs 18 – 22, she was brought out of the man into a physical state and her assignment was to help the man in fulfilling destiny; not as a servant or second-class object but as an helper, contributor or partner; even though the area of help was not mentioned.

You agree with me that you can only seek help in your area of weakness and not in your area of strength, right? So He carefully said, “an help mate suitable for you“. Your own weakness may be in areas orderliness and He will give you a woman that is orderly, yours may be financial instability and He will provide you a woman that is financially stable to fulfill the assignment given to you. It is shallow mindedness, when some women say they can’t part with their money to finance their home. You as a man may be grace in the area of cooking, and you have a wife that is weak in that area, you will have to help out, because God won’t give you what you have, an helper will always come in the form of who you need to be complete.

When God gives you the rib of your side in form of a woman, He expects both of you to become one entity, with each one playing his or her own part in that entity and that is when the promise of favour from Him(God) comes to be.

Understand this, when the man and the woman become one, and go back to the original way it was before the woman was remove from the man (working in synergy as an entity), that is when God’s promises concerning marriage are made to manifest. It is like buying a new phone, the phone is always packed separately from the battery, the charger and the other accessories but you are expected to put the battery in the place designed for it by the manufacturer, in the phone to enjoyed the phone, so also is your wife, you need to place her where God has commanded you to place her (a place of love and honour) before you can enjoy her role in your life.

Women, your help to your husband is not limited to cooking and caring for the kids, as Bible says help comparable unto you, is help in the area of your strengths and his weaknesses. So also men.

God bless you Union.

What You Need to Know About Marriage

What You Need to Know About Marriage

Is Marriage a blessed or cursed institution?

Marriage is an institution ordained by God. The most important institution in the whole world. Marriage can be a blessing and also a curse depending on the foundation on which it is build. There are principles guiding everything in life (including marriage). When the principle and the foundation are faulty, then marriage become a Curse instead of a blessing.

Are you single? Planning to say I DO soon? Then you need to know these principles. Are you married, but presently in hell? You can make it work today by learning and applying those principles. Are you enduring yours? That is not the Father’s will for you. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not endured. We live in a world where we go through a lot as male and female, to run our homes and pay our bills our homes are meant to be a place of rest not a place of enduring.

If you agree that marriage was founded by God with the union of Adam and Eve, then you will also agree with me that the principles that would lead to a successful marriage can only be found in God’s teachings. After all, only the maker of a device has the authentic manual. Society and trends might try to modify, redefine or even give us a cosmetic idea of what is ideal but so long as you are not ashamed to use the original manual from the founder of marriage, you will have a beautiful home.

God created man and said it is not good for man to be ALONE and so woman was made. Marriage was not designed to be a lonely journey, where husband run his own race and the woman runs hers. The race in marriage is a joint race, where no one should Lord over the other.

Woman, you are meant to respect your husband and husband love your wife. God gave this instruction because He knew that most men are stronger than most women physically and may want to Lord over her, but when you love her as instructed, the love won’t make you Lord over her. As a wife or wife to be, you should be careful of the company you keep and what and who you listen to for advise.

Can two walk together except they agree? Agreement between husband and wife is key. Marriage is coming together of two adults, and not coming together of two adult and there parents, siblings, nieces, nephews and co. Every marriage should be between two adults and not the entire nation. No two situations are same, so also marriages. Your marriage is not expected to be compared to another.

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Work Your Strength

Work your Strength

We are all unique, each one of us with different skills, talents, reasoning, energy level, needs, greed, targets and history (STRENGTH), and that makes us special in our own way.

Some years back, there was this young undergraduate, he wasn’t too good academically, he was what most students call “let my people go”, he would not fail but he would always be on the bother line. Friends tried to help him with his studies and he tried his best to study hard but somehow he just doesn’t get it.

However, when it comes to business, this guy is never short of ideas. While he was in school, he was into importation of car spare parts, he helped most of his lectures to import spare parts for their exotic cars. After graduation, he could only manage a ” Pass Grade”, he decided to go into business fully but because he had just little money to start, he decided to go into importation of flashy Japanese cars on request, he does all the hard work till the car is cleared at the port and he was able to make a lot as he grew smarter in the business. Five years after living school, while his colleagues with good grades were still trying to adjust to the labour market, he was already making millions.

We are all special and blessed with something only very few people can do like we can. We might not be able to do things people expect from us but there are things we are capable of that can yield more than what people expect of us. You might not be talented to play football, sing, write or even be good academically, that doesn’t make you less special, there are a million and one other things you can be good at and when you can work your strength you will be whatever you desire.

Play to your strength, feed what you are good at. Put in everything you have got till it starts to pay off. Someone said, ‘Selah i wish i can write like you’ and i replied him ‘i wish i can talk like you’. we are gifted in different areas and that’s what makes us standout as individuals. We can maximize what we are blessed with by working to our strength, putting in efforts and channelling our resources to become better at what we are already gifted at.

I remember some twins i met, these twins are not identical in any way, Kehinde was brilliant while Taye was just the opposite. Their parents tried to slow Kehinde down academically just hoping Taye would catch up but all their efforts proved abortive, Taye wasn’t just the book type. By age 15, Kehinde was done with secondary (high) school while Taye was still stuck at Primary (elementary) six. However, Taye was a gifted artiste, without any special training Taye was already drawing a ‘look alike sketch’. The parents thought it wise to send Taye to a technical school to become an artiste while Kehinde went to university to study law. Today, both are doing very fine, Taye with his own art studio while Kehinde works for a law firm.

Nobody is useless! Because a fish cannot survive on dry land doesn’t make it inferior to a bird that walks the land, and because the bird cannot survive in water doesn’t make it inferior to fishes that swim the ocean. We are all unique in our own way. We all have our areas of expertise, we should not be shy to explore our strength, we should not give into what people expect from us that we fail to do what we know how to do best.

You are already a winner, all you need to do is to work your strength! Put your Skills to use, develop your Talents, give the decisions to your Reasoning, maximize the use of your Energy, take care of your Needs, don’t let your Greed ruin your life, act with your Targets in mind at all times and never ever forget your History.

You Can Do It

You can do it

No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you’ll find the positive side of things.

Demi Lovato

Success stories are often fun to read, my favorite is the story of Joseph in the Bible, after everything he went through and against as many odds as possible, at last, he ended up solving a huge famine problem and in turn he was made number two person in a foreign land with wealth beyond his imagination. But as much as this story is impressive and astonishing, imagine Joseph who lived it.

Joseph not knowing the end of the story from the beginning like you and I do, would probably at a point thought that every step he took forward, took him two steps backward instead, for every honest and kind attitude he showed he reaped shame and ingratitude, for every problem he solved, instead of commendations he got condemnations and for every hard work he put in, he got hard walls in return. At a some point in the prison, I am sure he would have thought of giving up and maybe blamed himself for not being like everyone else. But the best part of the story is that Joseph never stopped trying, he never stopped pushing, he didn’t give up on his dreams, even when the situation looked hopeless he never stopped believing in possibilities.

Yes, you too can do it!

Before the good times come the hard ones, times that it would seem nothing is working. Often at these times we wonder if there are things we have done wrong or if there were some past trying to catch up with us. In fact, at these times it seems as if every step we take, every effort we make takes us further back. But my friends, these times are our most critical times, these are the times our faith and our resolve to stay true to our dreams get tested. It is like the darkest part of our night that is just before the breaking of our dawn.

With a little persistence you can do it.

It is difficult to hold on to our faith at these trying times especially when most people who truly care about us begin to lose their faith in us. At this point, it feels like we are all alone and no one really understands what we are trying to make of our lives. These are times people refer to us as crazy, lazy or confused, and truly sometimes we are tempted to see it their way and abandon our dreams all together. But dear, that’s about the time things start to make sense, about the time we are pushed to the wall and we start to push harder till doors begin to open.

Please don’t be derailed by what you are currently passing through. I know it is not as easy as I am saying it but then i also know it is not as hard as it is pretending to be. You can pull through this part of your life. Dreaming is the easy part, keeping the dream alive is where the work is, but i am positive you can do it. I know people you trust are currently no where to be found and people who before now shared your views are gradually pulling back because the results are yet to be seen but all these are just like smoke screen, soon when the dust settles and the tide starts to roll your way, the good days would return, then friends and families would love to share the podium with you.

You are another Joseph in the making, just that you can’t see the end of your own story yet but I am more convinced it is even going to be sweeter and your success would be a lesson to others who wouldn’t give up, just because you didn’t. I believe in you not because i want to make you feel good but because I know your pain and I also know it would be well justified in the end if you can just persist consistently a little longer.

Dedicated to my adopted daughter Onome Omodara (www.onomewrites.com)