You can judge me as much as you like, that also makes you human, we put to sword when we can't ration the whys and the whats. I would be surprised if you had done otherwise. However, sins are sins, no double standard before God, because mine seems more grievous to you doesn't make yours less grievous to someone else.
...what if I try and I fail, what if I succeed and I can't cope with fame, what if I don't fit in, what if I can't learn, what if I don't find the right partner, what if I find the right partner but I am not right for him/her, what if my plans don't work, what if my plan works but people don't like it...
Dreams and aspirations are the foundation of success but our ability to keep these dreams alive, act on them, evaluate and correct our mistakes are how we build our success stories.