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Words Nobody Wants To Hear

So you probably don’t want to read this, if so then it is time to choose another article. But if you are ready for some hard truth then this is the article you have been looking for. So here we go:

Life is just what you make of it, the quality of efforts you put in will determine what you get out of life. Note the word “quality“! It is not hard work that makes way for success but smart work. You have to identify first which direction you want to go before you start making conscious efforts in that direction. You will see people running from one end to another like headless chickens all in the name of hard work and at the end of the day they will have nothing to show for it. Quality input is what it takes to have a first class product. Quality over quantity any day. Quality is like having depth, roots, just like with trees the deeper the roots the higher the chance of survival. When you have the depth then you can start thinking of producing more branches. Read Jordan rule

In the laziness of man, we have made so many feel good phrases to justify our idleness such as money is not everything, happiness is free, best things in life are free, I can’t fight destiny etc. These are all feel good phrases and honestly, holding on to them would only make you feel less responsible for yourself. Money is as essential as breathing, I understand we won’t all have it on the same scale but at least getting to the comfortable level is important. Nothing is free, whatever you have somehow you or someone or something paid for it. So get off your lazy behind and earn some comfort for yourself and people who depend on you.

There is nothing special about you! Yes and I mean it. You have a head, two arms and two legs just like everyone else. You are just like anyone you know, you have seen or read about. So you can try and become like the successful ones or end up like the unsuccessful ones, it is absolutely your choice. But because you are like everyone else, you can be whatever you chose to be, it means you can choose any path you desire. You might have gifts, talents, consciousness, intuition or passion that may give you edge over others or guide which footsteps to follow but whatever you make of your life will determine where you will end up. Don’t feel too special that you start hoping things would just change overnight, you would have to work for it like everyone else and if you decide not to, then you will end where most people who chose that ended.

Fairytale life do not exist. I want to believe in fairytales too but reality would just not allow that. Miracles, lucks, fortunes are products of positioning. You will have to seek if you want to find! No fairy godmother is going to pop up in your room at 23:59hrs asking you to make a wish before 00:00hrs. You will have to go after your wishes with all you have got. You will have to do your research if you want to be well positioned, you will have to pay for lies if you hope to find the truth, you will have to meet the wrong people on your way to finding the right ones. You will endure failures till you find success. Midnight wishes will not happen, most prayers will not be answered, most dreams will die before you even wake up, most ideas will not even leave the paper you jot them. All these may seem mean but trust me they are designed just to ensure only those who are ready to go the extra mile get the extraordinary.

Motivational speakers would want to give you the impression that having dreams is all that matters, this is a lie! There are lots of dreamers in the world yet few achievers. It is not good enough to have dreams, you must be willing and able to bring them to life through consistent and coordinated actions. People want to sit back and read success stories, and at the end of it, they want to claim it without working for it. Nope! It doesn’t work that way. You will have to get up and swing to action; set goals and achieve them, approach people for assistance and some will turn you down but you won’t stop, you will hit brick walls and you will still have to find a way to push through it. It is not about the size of your dream but about how far you are willing to go to see your dream come to live. 

What is lost can never be regained; opportunities, trust, first impression and so on. I believe in second chance but nothing beats making the best of your first chance. No matter how well you have repented it cannot be the same. Opportunity lost can’t be regained, you can get something better, something similar but not same thing and if against all odds you get same thing it can’t be same time (time is irreversible). And when you let people down, it is never going to be the same again. The import of this is that you should take nothing for granted, do everything possible to give your best at the first time of asking; in life choices, creating impressions, relationships, career, business, loyalty and in friendship. 

“New year new resolution”, trust me that’s just another crap we tell ourselves to delay/postpone what must be done. You don’t have to wait till a new day, a Monday or a new year to start something new. In fact you are better-off starting immediately you realize what must be done. People who have changed the course of history didn’t wait till Monday to start, they started the moment they realized what must be done. Most ideas die because we delay starting, that wait kills our morale, passion and burning desire to achieve results. ” Delay is deadly” when it comes to starting something new and changing your game. If you have a dream start as soon as you wake up, no delays.

Lastly, you have to know that no emotion or feeling or situation is forever. Whatever it is, good or bad, happiness or sadness it is ephemeral. Your situation is only for a while, it could either get better or worse depending on whether you choose to do something or nothing. If you are happy now, there will be time you would be unhappy, if you are so much in love now a time will come when you will question your feelings, it is normal, it is the way life is wired. It is now left to you to choose what your reactions will be on those gloomy days when you are not so sure of who you are or what you want. Don’t beat yourself up over situations you couldn’t have prevented, don’t be too hard on yourself for things you can’t change, but if there is/are something(s) you can do to make life better for yourself never hesitate to do it/them. 

Life is so worth holding on to especially when you remember you don’t know what lies at the other side, though our life is borrowed, without a doubt we will all pay back that debt. So dear, make your life count for something, let your living be felt even by the generations yet to come. Play, work, have fun, get serious, make money, get fame, take risks, stay safe and above all touch lives!

Words Nobody Wants To Hear

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There Was a Time 

There was a time when we hoped, and things came through. 

There was a time when we believed, and miracles happened. 

There was a time when our lovers would go to war, and come back to find us untouched, virgin once more and empty again- beseeching the long gone affection. 

There was a time when poems addressed upon the way of life, and more importantly, defined it. 

There was a time when storytelling was a delightful entertainment, as it sucked up the thrilling moments – pumping the mind to wander across all ages – just to find the seeds of hope, salvation, peace, kindness, and love. 
There were times when we didn’t have to speak, because those close to us, saw what lay in the depths of our hearts. 

A 24 year old boy seeing out from the train’s window shouted…
“Dad, look the trees are going behind!”
Dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behavior with pity, suddenly he again exclaimed…
“Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”
The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…
“Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?” The old man smiled and said…“I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.”
Every single person on the planet has a story. Don’t judge people before you truly know them. The truth might surprise you.

There was a time when knowledge was equally shared. One mind, one soul. 

There was a time when we would cry, and not because we had been hurt or felt any pain, but because we had been selflessly loved. And gained. We would cry tears of joy. 

There was a time when silence meant souls conversing with each other, and minds debating. 

There was a time when leaders were born, and not made from failed heroes. 

There was a time when time was not a tornado or freaky storms, but just dust in the wind.

A man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?
Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.

There was a time when we lived to embrace each other – touch ones soul, quench a neighbour’s thirst, light a friend’s heart, and not economically or politically self adjustably taken to what we found fit for our lonely souls.

There was a time when love was not courtship and marriage. Love was a selfless deed that stood irrespective of the grounds that we stood on; irrespective of the faces that we chose to conjunct with; irrespective of how much we were supposed to give. 

There was a time when relationship wasn’t just an “on and off” thing, but a one way path. Though crooked and harsh, people triumphed to die with their lips saying “i love you” to each other’s soul, as they patiently wait to hold each others hearts once more in the afterlife.

There was a time when paradise wasn’t figuratively spoken, but was lived and seen. It was a wondrous infinity that was witnessed.

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to a baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting the right amount, which he wasn’t. Angry about this, he took the farmer to court.
The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure to weight the butter. The farmer replied, “Honor, I am primitive. I don’t have a proper measure, but I do have a scale.”
The judge asked, “Then how do you weigh the butter?”
The farmer replied;
“Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker.”
Moral of the story: In life, you get what you give. Don’t try and cheat others.

Many things may have changed but a lot still rests on our choices. We may not be able to control time, trend of new technologies, people’s view about critical issues and what tomorrow will bring but we have power to determine what our response to life should be, our relationship with fellow humans and our God. We can decide to be a better person even in the midst of crumbling moral values. We can chose to see the best in people. We can chose to try again even after a fail. We can chose to tread the right path and not betray trust. We can chose to be selfless in a selfish world. We can always be who we chose to be irrespective of what time it is. There was a time but there is still enough time!

© Basiru Adebayo Emmanuel.

There Was a Time

SAME ROUTE, DIFFERENT DESTINATION

SAME ROUTE, DIFFERENT DESTINATION

We all were born into life without a clue of what living entails or what lies ahead of us. As children, we familiarise ourselves with the environment and people around us. A child accepts the people who they see often but are sceptical when strange people come around. As one grows older, this attitude to get attached to the known and become cautious of the unknown continues to characterize our actions in life. However, when a known individual becomes distant due to certain reasons, we sometimes hold on longer than we should because of the emotions which becloud our judgements.

The life in which we were born is rich in itself. It teaches us how to live in it through lessons that may be subtle or obvious. Take for example, you embark on a journey; whichever medium you choose to use, you meet people on your way. During the period of the transit, you may engage in discussions with people on topics helpful to your journey. If there is a cause to take some decisions about the journey, you tend to trust the opinion of your fellow commuters rather than someone without the experience of the journey. 

Nonetheless, once you arrived at your expected destination, you alight from the transportation medium. With little or no thought about those whose company you have enjoyed for hours, you continue to proceed in the achievement of the purpose for the journey. If you met anyone exceptional during the journey, you most likely keep in touch with such person.

The above analogy explains life though we rarely see the connection. Being on the same bus or flight to a city does not mean you must end your day with those people. Everyone you meet in life has got a time span to spend with you. Either we notice it or not, it is impossible to stay around the same set of people all your lifetime. You may be on the same route but your destination might be different. Hanging on longer than you should to your vehicle of transit will make you miss your destination and hence, forfeit the essence of your journey.

Those whose virtue have not completely rubbed off on you will still be on the same route with you as you advance in your journey. Twenty friends cannot play for twenty years because they all have different scripts and scenes cut out for them by life.  A scene needs to end for another to begin. As emotional as it may feel, it is the only way to a successful and meaningful drama.

Understanding when to keep on and when to quit a friendship is essential in order not to expend one’s energy in wrong areas. It keeps you abreast on who should feature in the next stage of your life. Not everyone you admire should remain in your circle. Some people should leave for some reasons or after a season. Others should always stick around because their contribution to your success in life is recurring; so says a woman of wisdom. 

It is not always an act of pride when people choose not to fight over some relationships. They may have realised that it is expedient to let go. Nevertheless, know your route and your destination and always identify those who should join you or leave at every juncture!

You Are None Of Those Names

You Are None Of Those Names

In life whatever name(s) people call us, can only become ours if we choose to answer to them.

Do you know you have to accept whatever name(s) you are called before it becomes your name? Whatever name(s) we answer to now became our name(s) because we chose to answer to them. If someone screams “Andrew!” in a hall filled with people, only those who answer ‘Andrew’ will most likely look in the direction of the screamer except maybe those who are curious and want to know who Andrew is. So also, in life, whatever name(s) people call us, can only become ours if we choose to answer to them. Little wonder, some people have gone ahead to change their birth name(s), when they don’t want to answer it anymore.

And because you are passing through a situation doesn’t make that situation your destination, you are just passing through! 

People may call you broke, loser, jobless, lazy, stupid, single, fat, fake and so on, these may describe your current situation but that still doesn’t make any of these your name. You decide what you want to answer to! And because you are passing through a situation doesn’t make that situation your destination, you are just passing through! When you decide your name isn’t any of those derogatory remarks and you begin to reinforce names you love to be associated with like success, smart, ambitious, special, winner… and reassure yourself on daily basis that you have all it takes to write your own success story, things will start changing for you.

There would be rocky parts but then you will also get to the smooth part.

You are blessed to have you however, this can only transform to physical blessings when you start believing in yourself.  None of those names people call you matter but the names you have chosen to answer. You have total control on what follows your “I am”, exercise this control and allow only positive words to follow your ” I am”. There would be rocky paths but then you will also get to the smooth path. Don’t be discouraged by now and don’t be taken back by what people seem to think about your life or situation, you will survive it, you are none of those ugly names, you are special and you deserve all the best things life has to offer. 

Because they say “you are” doesn’t mean “you are” (good or bad) but when you say “I am”, you have already set in motion what you want to become! – Selahsomeone

My A to Z of Motivation

My A to Z of Motivation

Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.

Bradley Whitford

A- Accepting: Accept who you are that’s the starting point, if you want to be a better you. Accept others for who they are, that way you expect less from others and more from yourself.

B- Boldness: You have to be bold to stand out. There will be castigations,humiliations and reproaches but if you want to be outstanding, you must be bold enough to stand alone.

C- Closure: Forgive and let go, life gets easier that way.

D – Dream: Dream big…it will cost you nothing but it would give you everything you have ever wished for.

E – Everyone is Special: Growth is all encompassing, if you want to grow, you must open your mind to people growing around you, after all everyone is special in their own way.

F – Failing can be beautiful, so also is falling. Most times the best life changing lessons are learned after a fail. When you understand the concept of failing forward, success would eventually find you.

G – Gratitude: Be grateful for what you have no matter how small or insignificant you think they are. They are someone’s prayer request and once they were all you could think of. Only a great fool is not grateful.

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.

Norman Vincent Peale

H – Help in any way you can. Give, encourage, listen, advise, inspire, challenge, help in every capacity you can, somehow, it will impact on your own life too.

I – Information. Information is a key to success, gather it, analyse it and interpret it and most of all make use of it on time.

J – Justice: Be just in everything you do and in all your dealings; with the young and old, big and small, rich and poor. Be fair as humanly possible, only do to others as you would expect them to do to you.

K – Knowledge is power. Make it your job to know, make your findings, don’t rely on just the information you have but make efforts to know details. Knowledge will always set you apart from others in a highly competitive world.

L- Live: Many people are alive without living, you start living when you start taking risks, it is nice to live simple but simple life seldom impacts on history.

M – Miracle is all about faith. We all need miracle once in a while but the first miracle we need is faith. With faith comes courage and with courage comes possibilities.

N – Nurture your talent. Everyone has something they are good at, it is just natural. Whatever yours is, nurture it and find a way to make people buy into it.

O – Optimism: A pessimist sees it far worse than it is, a realist sees it for what it is but an optimist sees it for what it can be. Don’t be down because of what today holds, be optimistic and focus on what tomorrow has in store.

P – Possibilities: If you can conceive it, then you can create it. Nothing is impossible with the right tools, information, knowledge and will power. No matter how difficult it is for people to believe it is doable, if you can dream it, then you can do it.

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.

Pope John XXIII

Q – Quality stands you out. Give your best no matter the situation. Don’t sacrifice quality for any reason, if it must be done by you, then it must be the best of you.

R – Read: You can’t grow yourself without growing your mind. Read wide, expand your horizon and be without bounds. Information is the key to breaking new grounds.

S – Sex like all matters in relationship is sacred.

T – Time: Time waits for no one, don’t waste yours. The best time to start is yesterday, the second best time is now. Don’t procrastinate no matter how inconvenient it feels, if it must be done, then now is the time.

U – Uniqueness: Be unique by being you. You are Special by creation, don’t become less by trying to be someone else. Be yourself, improve on who you are on daily basis and your uniqueness will speak for you.

V – Valable relationships: People you know are to a large extent the measure of how far you can go. Build valuable relationships and value people in your life. Water your contacts and don’t wait till you need assistance before you reach out.

W – Will power is that unstoppable force that keeps you going against all odds. For every fall, there must be a rise, even to grounds higher than before.

X – X-factor: eXtra is all it takes to move from being ordinary to being extraordinary. Go a step further than the rest, push a little harder than the rest, give more than others will give, in everything you do, don’t forget the extra.

Y – You are the most valuable person to you. Understand yourself, love yourself and appreciate who you are. You are your best shot at being successful, have faith in yourself and give yourself time.

Z – Zeal is everything. You have to be able to push, even when you have got nothing to go on, you still have to keep pushing. It is called the never say die attitude.

Know When To Let Go

Know When to Let Go

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On your journey to achieving your dreams, you have to know when to empty your sac, when to fill up and when to keep it light. Sometimes we are too attached to our past that we don’t know, when it is time to move on. Picture an adult still walking around with a doll his parents got him when he was just 5years, unimaginable right? But the truth is that is what most of us do. We hold on to things of the past like relationship, events, words, believes, ideas, grief, loss and so on, we get too attached that we don’t realize, it is time to let it go, like the man still holding on to his old doll.

If it is not adding value to you, then letting go is not an option, it is a necessity. Don’t ruin your future by holding on to old and redundant beliefs, life styles, relationships, ideas, doctrines, people, emotions etc. There is a bright future ahead of you and you can always start with a clean slate any time. There is a whole lot you can do for yourself, if you are willing to let go of those things holding you back. No matter how great the past was, the future can always surpass it but you have to give the future a chance and trust that your best is still ahead.
                          
Make no mistake, letting go is not the same as giving up… You let go of something in your past because you are on to something better in your future.

Your Time is Your Life

Your Time is Your Life

Time, not money, is your biggest asset in life. You need time to invest in relationships (with yourself and your family) or to chase your passion.
“Think again” if you are still trading off time for money. Let your money work for you. You don’t work for money. That is exactly what Financial Freedom is… – Manoj Arora , From the Rat Race to Financial Freedom

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There are 24hours in a day but you can have more than 24 productive hours in a day. There is a difference between normal hours and productive hours. One day in productive sense, is equal to the number of hours you make use of that actually impact on your life before dusk turns to dawn. The rich understands that Time is their most valuable asset and what they do is to hire more hands (that’s buy more time) to get the most from a day. The cheapest form of this can be seen in networking and marketing.

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Take for instance, a man who sleeps for 10hours, eats and have fun for another 10hours then uses only 4hours for something productive, that means in a 24hour-day he only gets 4 productive hours. On the other hand, a young entrepreneur, sleeps for 6hours, eats and have fun for another 6hours, works for 12hours, then hires 4men who also work 9hours for him, effectively he will be having 48 productive hours in a single day. Now you understand why the first man is barely getting-by and the second man is living large.

Some have mastered the use of time that they actually make money per second. Mike Adenuga gets money for every second you spend on a Glo line, that’s your time working for him. For every minute you spend on Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg gets an alert, your idle time working for him. For every hour spent at a football viewing center, the viewing center guy is counting cash, your time making him rich. If you are employed, your employer hires you first to add your time to his time, then maybe for your skills to make you efficient. Your employer can’t be everywhere at the same time hence because of this limitation, he puts a value on your time and buys it off you. Don’t get me wrong, it is nice to have fun, get employed but it is also fair that you understand that your time is precious and more valuable than you know.

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The value of time is best appreciated if you put it to use. Better put, the worth attached to time depends on how one translates every second to money (earning ability). The truth is, no employer will pay you the true worth of your time, no matter the value placed on it, your time is still a part of your life that you can never get back. This is why it is saddens me, when I sees able bodied young men waste away their time.  Some go as far as asking other friends, “what can I (we) do to kill this (time) number of hours?”, they conveniently murder part of their lives.

Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week. – Charles Richards

Your time is your life, don’t waste it. Your time is your greatest resource and most undervalued asset, be careful the price tag you put on it. Don’t waste your time on unproductive ventures, rather see how you can increase the number of productive hours you have in a day. Put your hours to use, invest money in them and let them work for you. Even if you have to offer your service to someone who can afford them, make sure you buy others’ time that you can afford and let them work for you too, that way you end up with more. Every tick of the clock, that’s a part of you ticking by, never let it go to waste.

For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again. – Eric Roth , The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Screenplay

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