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Trade off to Success

“To get one thing that you like, you have to give up another thing that you like.”

Some will say you can’t eat your cake and have it, if you have eaten it then it is gone; the irony of life. The cost of something is what you give up to get it, the cost of building your own dream is to give up building another man’s dream.

Unfortunately, most of us want to eat our cake and have it. We want to party all night and still excel in the exam we write in the morning; we want to live in sin yet enjoy unlimited Grace; we want to lay idle yet except something to happen; we want to stay in bed and hope success will find us there… To have what we desire most we have to give up what we desire least. It is called sacrifice or trade off.

Winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the trade-off they’re making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that’s the difference.
Lou Holtz

Trading off is not an easy thing to do, losing what you desire is never fun, no matter how small it seems but the truth is that it will be worth it. It takes discipline for someone to give up what he is enjoying at moment just for the sake of what he is to enjoy in some distant future, a discipline many of us lack and the reason it has been difficult to change our status.

What are those things you need to give up to be able to focus on your goals? Deep down you know you have to let some things go, you have to avoid some sets of people and stop taking advice from some group of friends. These are little inconveniences you will have to bear if you desire to reach those goals. Trade offs are must on your route to success and a stitch in time saves nine!

Trade off to Success

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*To live without a dream*

I have lived in misery before. Not because of karma but because of lack of understanding. Day in and day out walking the tightrope of a mundane existence. Merely existing and nothing more. I think this defines what I went through “To live without a dream”.

Let me tell you something. There is no nobility in poverty. I’ve been a rich man, and I’ve been poor man. And I choose rich every … time. Cause, At least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I show up in the back of a limo wearing a $2000 suit …and $40,000 gold …’ watch! Now, if anyone here thinks I’m superficial or materialistic. Go get a job at … McDonald’s, because that’s where you … belong!

– The Wolf of Wall Street – Leonardo DiCaprio Speech

Not knowing all the while I was only sleepwalking, not living. The road to hell is plagued with misunderstanding after misunderstanding, a fortune I wish on no man. My road, my mind resembled a rickety street full of potholes at this time. All because I all too well knew what it was, like To live without a dream.

Paradise can resemble hell when one has no dream in heart. Nothing to wake up to, no sense of urgency about life. An idle mind, one without a desire to aspire to anything worthwhile. To live without a dream, makes the heart unworthy of the air we breathe. The only logical recourse to be taken, is to set your sights high and give your heart a reason to beat.

“Listen, and take my advice,” she urges. “Don’t overlook the money part of it (life), I’ve been poor and I’ve been rich. Rich is better!” – Fanny Brice,

By all means, dream. Think the best for yourself, act on those thoughts and for all those around you let them feel your impact. For all those with a vision, imagine what it would be like, To live without a dream! Push to achieve your greatness and you will inspire greatness in the others. Let the passion that pushes you to excel, be heard, let your stories be told beyond the reaches of your world and even after you are long gone your name will continue to live on.

To live without a dream

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How to Bring Your Dreams to Life

There is nothing quite as empowering as the moment you realize you have reached your dreams.

Sometimes we can allow our excuses and self-limiting beliefs to prevent us from setting our dreams and goals as high as we truly desire in our hearts. There are hundreds of reasons we can tell ourselves about why we will never actually achieve what it is we are yearning for. It could be we feel we don’t have the time, money, strength, or support. Perhaps we believe we aren’t smart enough, talented enough, or good enough to have what we dream about. Maybe it’s because we are overwhelmed, or we believe our dream is an impossible undertaking.

When we live life believing we can’t reach our goals, we will prove ourselves right every time. Not only can we lose that sense of hope and passion, over time we may stop dreaming altogether.
The truth is we are all deserving of success and happiness. We are meant to live fully and experience what life has to offer. When we stay on the journey of pursuing our dreams and goals, we receive opportunities to learn valuable life lessons that help us see anything is possible.

Years ago, I dreamed of doing work in the world that would help empower others to believe in who they are. I knew and felt firsthand how debilitating it is to not believe in yourself. I wanted to somehow help others see their potential and true essence. I started out with a desire to create a resource that parents and educators could use to help instill a sense of empowerment in children. That was my initial goal. It turned out that this dream involved countless goals. Over the course of nine years I published eleven books with the intention, the messages would resonate and help others believe in themselves. Each of these projects was an enormous undertaking. The creative process involved many months of dedication and patience. Most of the projects took well over a year to create. I had to meet thousands of small goals on the journey to reach my original dream.

I had no idea how much time, effort, and perseverance it would require to reach my initial vision. I’m pretty sure if I had known it all before I put my dream in motion, I would have been too overwhelmed to take that first step. When we look at all of the steps and unknowns involved in reaching our dream, we can very quickly lose focus. The bigger the dream, the more daunting it can feel. Often this feeling of ‘overwhelm’ can prevent us from ever taking that initial step.

Over time, I have come to see that my life has been enriched because I have pursued my dreams and goals. Having the willingness to consistently show up and take a step forward is what has helped me truly believe in myself.

7 Proven Strategies To Transform Your Dreams And Goals Into Reality

Here are the 7 proven strategies I utilize to transform my dreams and goals into reality.

Strategy #1
Have fun setting your goals. Imagine how you want to feel when you reach them. Step into that feeling as though it was already a reality. Visualization is a powerful tool to help you know where you are headed. When we know where we are headed, it is easier to trust our instincts and stay on our path that’s aligned with our truth.

Remember to make your dreams and goals BIG, and create visual reminders of what they are. Keep those reminders close by. You will need them when you hit your stopping place and need to be reminded ‘why’ you started out and ‘why’ you don’t want to quit.

Strategy #2
Focus on taking baby steps in the direction of a goal. Instead of worrying about how many steps it will take, give yourself permission to simply take one step at a time.

Strategy #3
Write your goals down. Start with a monthly plan for what you want to focus on. Then create a weekly and daily snapshot of what you will work on — make sure your plan is realistic and attainable.
When you move all of the details from your mind onto paper (or computer), you end up spending less time overthinking and worrying about all of the many tasks and projects you have to do. Spend a bit of time each month downloading your game plan. Then instead of wasting a whole bunch of time fretting, you can use that time to actually get stuff done.

Strategy #4
Commit to allotting some time each day where you ‘laser focus’ in on completing one small task related to your weekly or monthly game plan. Consistency is key. When we spend too much time looking at the big picture, we can get overwhelmed and forget where to start. Know it is okay just focus on the one small thing at a time. Dream creation is a journey, not a race.

Strategy #5
Talk about your dreams with the special people in your life to create lots of energy around what it is you are doing. When you keep your dreams hidden, it is way easier to leave them in the dark and never bring them to light. When we have people behind us who know what our big dreams are, they become our support team. They are the ones we turn to when the journey gets discouraging and we need people we trust to remind us ‘why’ we ever started in the first place.

Strategy #6
The road to reaching our dreams is often bumpy — that’s normal, it’s not meant to be smooth and overly easy. The bumps are where all of our rich learning and opportunities exist. We may question ourselves (often) and we may feel vulnerable and discouraged. We may even be tempted to work ourselves to the point of burnout to try to combat all that is hard and uncomfortable.
When the journey feels overwhelming, that’s usually the first sign we need to take some time out for ourselves. Make a serious pact with yourself to NOT become so laser focused that you lose your joy in the journey.
Regular self-care is a mandatory part of bringing your dreams to life. Know you can take regular breaks to regroup and recharge and you won’t actually get behind. Recharging your batteries gives you a renewed sense of energy and passion you can put to good use. We can hit the restart button at anytime — a much better alternative than quitting or losing our faith in the dream itself.

Strategy #7
Remember to celebrate the achievement of each mini-goal along the way. This feeling of excitement and gratitude will create the momentum and confidence to help you feel like you will reach your BIG dream. Remind yourself often that turning your dreams into reality is not a race — it is a journey. Celebrate and enjoy your journey as much as possible, and above all be kind to yourself through it — you will thank yourself later.

A couple years ago, I had the opportunity to be in the same room with five of the children who inspired the characters in my children’s empowerment books. It was a surreal experience. The children were gathered together to take part in an esteem-building workshop. The books I created, that they inspired, were resources in the program. In that moment, I suddenly realized I had actually reached my dream. It became very apparent to me then that the journey of reaching our dreams is the most memorable part — so enjoy each step as much as possible and make your dreams as big as your heart desires.

On the journey to reach the goals you set, you build yourself up. When you experience what you are capable of first hand, you continue to create dreams that will ensure a full, happy, and satisfying life journey. When you turn your ‘impossibles’ around, it has a way of opening up the world and allowing you to see your limitless potential.

This is an adapted article from Emily Madill’s book, ‘Fall In Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time’ .

How to Bring Your Dreams to Life

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Words Nobody Wants To Hear

So you probably don’t want to read this, if so then it is time to choose another article. But if you are ready for some hard truth then this is the article you have been looking for. So here we go:

Life is just what you make of it, the quality of efforts you put in will determine what you get out of life. Note the word “quality“! It is not hard work that makes way for success but smart work. You have to identify first which direction you want to go before you start making conscious efforts in that direction. You will see people running from one end to another like headless chickens all in the name of hard work and at the end of the day they will have nothing to show for it. Quality input is what it takes to have a first class product. Quality over quantity any day. Quality is like having depth, roots, just like with trees the deeper the roots the higher the chance of survival. When you have the depth then you can start thinking of producing more branches. Read Jordan rule

In the laziness of man, we have made so many feel good phrases to justify our idleness such as money is not everything, happiness is free, best things in life are free, I can’t fight destiny etc. These are all feel good phrases and honestly, holding on to them would only make you feel less responsible for yourself. Money is as essential as breathing, I understand we won’t all have it on the same scale but at least getting to the comfortable level is important. Nothing is free, whatever you have somehow you or someone or something paid for it. So get off your lazy behind and earn some comfort for yourself and people who depend on you.

There is nothing special about you! Yes and I mean it. You have a head, two arms and two legs just like everyone else. You are just like anyone you know, you have seen or read about. So you can try and become like the successful ones or end up like the unsuccessful ones, it is absolutely your choice. But because you are like everyone else, you can be whatever you chose to be, it means you can choose any path you desire. You might have gifts, talents, consciousness, intuition or passion that may give you edge over others or guide which footsteps to follow but whatever you make of your life will determine where you will end up. Don’t feel too special that you start hoping things would just change overnight, you would have to work for it like everyone else and if you decide not to, then you will end where most people who chose that ended.

Fairytale life do not exist. I want to believe in fairytales too but reality would just not allow that. Miracles, lucks, fortunes are products of positioning. You will have to seek if you want to find! No fairy godmother is going to pop up in your room at 23:59hrs asking you to make a wish before 00:00hrs. You will have to go after your wishes with all you have got. You will have to do your research if you want to be well positioned, you will have to pay for lies if you hope to find the truth, you will have to meet the wrong people on your way to finding the right ones. You will endure failures till you find success. Midnight wishes will not happen, most prayers will not be answered, most dreams will die before you even wake up, most ideas will not even leave the paper you jot them. All these may seem mean but trust me they are designed just to ensure only those who are ready to go the extra mile get the extraordinary.

Motivational speakers would want to give you the impression that having dreams is all that matters, this is a lie! There are lots of dreamers in the world yet few achievers. It is not good enough to have dreams, you must be willing and able to bring them to life through consistent and coordinated actions. People want to sit back and read success stories, and at the end of it, they want to claim it without working for it. Nope! It doesn’t work that way. You will have to get up and swing to action; set goals and achieve them, approach people for assistance and some will turn you down but you won’t stop, you will hit brick walls and you will still have to find a way to push through it. It is not about the size of your dream but about how far you are willing to go to see your dream come to live. 

What is lost can never be regained; opportunities, trust, first impression and so on. I believe in second chance but nothing beats making the best of your first chance. No matter how well you have repented it cannot be the same. Opportunity lost can’t be regained, you can get something better, something similar but not same thing and if against all odds you get same thing it can’t be same time (time is irreversible). And when you let people down, it is never going to be the same again. The import of this is that you should take nothing for granted, do everything possible to give your best at the first time of asking; in life choices, creating impressions, relationships, career, business, loyalty and in friendship. 

“New year new resolution”, trust me that’s just another crap we tell ourselves to delay/postpone what must be done. You don’t have to wait till a new day, a Monday or a new year to start something new. In fact you are better-off starting immediately you realize what must be done. People who have changed the course of history didn’t wait till Monday to start, they started the moment they realized what must be done. Most ideas die because we delay starting, that wait kills our morale, passion and burning desire to achieve results. ” Delay is deadly” when it comes to starting something new and changing your game. If you have a dream start as soon as you wake up, no delays.

Lastly, you have to know that no emotion or feeling or situation is forever. Whatever it is, good or bad, happiness or sadness it is ephemeral. Your situation is only for a while, it could either get better or worse depending on whether you choose to do something or nothing. If you are happy now, there will be time you would be unhappy, if you are so much in love now a time will come when you will question your feelings, it is normal, it is the way life is wired. It is now left to you to choose what your reactions will be on those gloomy days when you are not so sure of who you are or what you want. Don’t beat yourself up over situations you couldn’t have prevented, don’t be too hard on yourself for things you can’t change, but if there is/are something(s) you can do to make life better for yourself never hesitate to do it/them. 

Life is so worth holding on to especially when you remember you don’t know what lies at the other side, though our life is borrowed, without a doubt we will all pay back that debt. So dear, make your life count for something, let your living be felt even by the generations yet to come. Play, work, have fun, get serious, make money, get fame, take risks, stay safe and above all touch lives!

Words Nobody Wants To Hear

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I Wish I Knew These Years Back

Life is a learning curve, we learn new things and unlearn old obsolete things. When we stop learning, we stop growing and some have even argued that we stop being productive. As much as we learn on daily basis, some knowledge or information we have them a little too late; I am sure most of us are familiar with instances like that. Imagine if you had the information with certainty 1year ago what value of Bitcoin would be this year; you would be in thousands if not millions not by now. That’s how precious having the right information the right time can be.

You are wondering now, how far you could have gone too, right? If only you had known a thing or two earlier. Well, it could be really painful especially when you imagine the impact it could have had on your business, relationship, career, academics and so on.

So here are few things I wish I knew years back:

1. Irrespective of what I do, I will succeed

Success is a product of sustained hard work and sometimes a bit of fortune. I wish I knew this earlier in life, especially the part of “sustained hard work”. Over the years, I have made it an habit to work on a project for a while and once I stopped getting my desired result, I abandon it and start another. I don’t sustain anything, I tell myself I have lots of ideas why tie myself down to what is not working. But now I know better, whatever I do, I will succeed, I just have to sustain it long enough till success finds me. Be it white-collar job, self employment, entrepreneur, intrepreneur, talent use, skill use, artistic or instructive whichever it is so long as I can sustain it, I will succeed.

2. The only time money grows is when it is invested

Investment is key, I have heard people say this over a gazillion times, but me? Always scared, I rather have a safe Naira (Nigerian currency) than risk making it four by investing. I think the problem is I prefer certainty. However, recently, I realized that life itself is a risk, a safe Naira won’t grow in value nor volume, and to be fair what’s the use of idle cash that cannot grow. Investment is not just a word thrown around by bookies, it is a word I need to practice, if I truly want to make a fortune. Damn, I wish I realized this earlier.

3. I don’t need people’s approval

I have missed many breaks because I was too conscious of people’s reaction. People will talk alright and I know this, in fact I understand even when you do nothing they will still talk but one thing I have not been able to over come is what would friends and family say if they know I did this. The feeling was that of needing their approval before I can do something meaningful with my life. Oh, how I got that wrong all this while! I need nobody’s approval, my friends and family might find it difficult to accept what I have chosen to become, mostly out of love but in due time when they see how meaningful, it all turned out, they will celebrate me for love. You know what, approval is overrated amongst other things especially here in the west, thereby killing talents, ideas, innovations and all that big English words that stimulate success. Don’t say “really”, just go with your inspired thoughts.

4. Relationship is overrated at early 20s

20s is that age when love and sacrifice get a little too confusing. You can bet I had my own fair share of the confusion. Killing big ideas, ignoring lifetime opportunities and taking off course decisions just because I want to be around someone I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with unfortunately at the wrong age. Seriously, love is something way off control and has a way of taking the power to decide from our head and giving it to our heart, not that bad till the love expires and we start seeing things we have lost because of those bad calls (raise your hand if you can relate). To make matters worse, we find a new love and we make same wrong decisions all over again. Ooh 20s! Relationship should be adding value and enhancing personal growth. Not that because my goals would put distance between us then I should abandon them, rather we should find a way to still love in spite of the distance, that is if we truly love in the first place. 20s you just get fond of someone you are close to, when they are gone you miss them the get close to another and the cycle continues; this cycle is not worth giving up your dreams for.

5. Friends with purpose are scarce

We make friends at different stages of life; the good, the bad and the ugly. Some we wonder how we even met (someone’s name came to mind right?), while others we wonder why we had to let them go (that one person you so missed). What I have come to realize is that true friends may be scare but friends with purpose are even rarer. What friends can do in one’s life cannot be overemphasized, many great names became great because they met friends with purpose while some people can only sit back and watch friends they have lost mount podium of greatness. I have been a victim of the latter but now I am wiser, to know who to hold on to and which friend to keep at arm’s length.

6. Spiritual is as important as physical

Growing up, my mum would always say “whatever is manifesting in the physical (reality) already took place in the Spiritual realm”, how I wished I had harken to that Woman’s words. Not too long ago, I finally realized that before swinging of swords there must be lifting of hands, before I can take control of the physical, I must first ensure my Spiritual life is on the right track. I understand if you find it difficult to agree with this, I used to be like you but in due time, it will all make sense. You may want to argue that many successful people don’t really have a spiritual life but I will also have you know that there is a big difference between wealthy and successful. Read my article “I don’t want to be successful” for clarification.

7. Success is the best revenge

If you knew me way back then you will know how vengeful I can be, I once inserted pins into my sister’s covered shoes just to get back at her for reporting me. I keep malice and I used to believe in tit for tat (the Mosaic Rule). Now a wiser me knows better, when you think people have offended you, don’t spend your valuable time on plotting how to get even rather disappoint them by not stooping low to their level. Use your valuable time to work on yourself. If you are the type that gets very angry, convert that anger into hunger for success (energy may be beyond destruction but can be converted), let the humiliation that you feel propel you to the point that you just want to amount to something big in life. I have also come to understand that people who hate on you get shattered when you finally succeed, so why deny them that devastation when all you have to do is just succeed.

8. Start first then worry about the problems after

I am a perfectionist, I love to have everything well spelt out before I engage in anything. As much as I love this about me, I have also learned that it is less effective when it comes to being an entrepreneur. There are many dreams I have conceived and abandoned almost immediately because I can’t see pass the problems of starting, the thing is I worry far too much about everything. But now I know better, if it is a dream then I will go after it, end of story! I will start first and ask questions after, I will jump then figure out landing afterwards. I think success is a risk on its own and what fun is life if I expect everything to be perfect.

9. Suck up but don’t give up

Pride goes before a fall, is already a cliché. We were raised to be humble, respectful and honest. I think we were raised right but something was left out of all these. They forget to tell us mean people will most likely have what we desire and to get it we will have to suck up to them and endure all the insults and disappointments, till we have what we want from them. I wish I knew this earlier, I can only imagine how far I would have gone if I had endure some rude bosses, crazy customers, cocky intellects, dare devil idealists etc, these people had at one time or another held the key to what I seek and I could have taken it from them if I had just been a little good at sucking up.

10. No one really cares

I have been really shy to try some things over the years or do I say I have been critical of what people will think. Now I see people pulling off those ideas and being celebrated. Little did I know that no one really cares about how you made it, there might be tongues wagging while you are at it but the moment results starts flying in their account of you would start changing. Success changes view! No idea is below your standard, it is what you make of it that sets the standard. Really there are no new ideas just old ideas presented in new enticing forms. I for one can’t be discouraged with initial comments; colleagues may think I can do better than this, family may think I had more prospects than this, friends may think this is a new low for me but when the results starting rolling in my favour, they will to do their rethink.

11. It is okay to ask for help

Many times I need help but somehow I tell myself I can still manage. Maybe I was shy, maybe it was pride, maybe I was scared of people telling me “NO”, whatever my reasons were at the time, I don’t think they were worth not knowing what could have been. Now when I need help I will ask, when I need information I will probe, when I need guidance I will seek. The only way you see further is to stand on the shoulders of someone taller. I am tired of wondering what the response could have been.

So bring it on, life!

Now I know better, and I am ready to do things better, I am putting all my past experiences into good use. I deserve better and I know it. So I won’t just sit around and hope things will change, I will make them change. I won’t keep doing things the old way and expect a new result, I will change my ways. I earned my experience from my past mistakes and hideous believes now is time to prove that I have learned and I am willing to rise because I have paid the price. So do you!

I Wish I Knew These Years Back

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WHO IS IT ALL ABOUT?

Many times we must have asked ourselves this question but again I put it to you, “who is it (life) all about?”

Is it about you?

Your friends?

Your family?

Your job?

Or your God?

You may take some time to reflect before you answer me.

Whichever your answer is, you are right because It is how you feel at this moment and probably your past experiences, after all, “we are a product of our past, a brand of our today and the advert of our future”.

Growing up, we were often advised by our parents to be serious and stay focused, then it seemed as if it was all about our parents, the family. In school and other social gatherings, we wanted to feel among (friends), be associated with the best click, it felt like life was about our friends. Working now we want to outshine colleagues, make a name for ourselves, so life seems all about (us) you. In church or mosque, you hear sermons, they talk about God, what He can do and His expectations, at this point life seems all about God.

But hear is what I believe. Our life is about making things work, putting smiles on the faces of people around us and not giving up even when everything seem awkward. When you touch lives, when you make positive changes, when you stand for something, when you ensure that you do your best to make things work, when you follow your dreams and become an inspiration to others, then you would have justified living.

Your life is about everything that matters to you, your life is about making your dreams happen and making your life count. You don’t want to just exist, you want to live and impact, and live so good that stories of you would go on for generations even after you are gone.

Give it (life) a bigger shot; it is never too late to try again. “Know that if it is not working yet then you have not given it your best and if it is working, there is always room for improvement”.

Originally published May 1, 2011

WHO IS IT ALL ABOUT ANYWAY?

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You Have All You Need To Start

If you have the passion, if you have a dream, if you have the Will, if you have You, then you have all you need to start! – Selahsomeone

A little bird looked at its mother and said, “mama when I grow big like you, I will fly to the top of the highest mountain and enjoy the coolest breeze of all”.

The mother bird smiled and replied, ” my little angel, if your dream is to one day enjoy the coolest breeze of all on the top of the highest mountain, then you will have to start your flying practice now”.

The little bird stretched its little wings, as if to say mum can’t you see, then said, “mum but you know i can’t fly that high yet, i am just a little bird”.

The mother bird replied, “I know you can’t fly that high yet but then if you want to someday fly that high you will have to start the lessons and attempts now”.

The mother bird went on; do you have wings?

The little bird answered, “Yes I do but they are pretty short!”

The mother probed further, do you have the Will and passion to drive your dream?

The little bird answered, “Yes i do but my friends said i need more than that”.

The mother bird shook her head, finally she asked, do you believe in yourself?

The little bird now not really sure of what to say, murmured, “Yes but i think i need to wait till i have big wings to carry me”.

The mother bird came closer and wrapped her wings around the little bird in a way to comfort and encourage her little baby. She then said, ” my baby, you have all you need to fly to the highest mountain, maybe you can’t fly that high right now but trust me, to grow big you have to start small. You have wings irrespective of the size, you have the Will and you have the dream to follow; that’s all you need. It is good to aim for the highest mountain, to set goals worthy of the future but it is wise to know that to fly to the highest mountain you will have to start from jumping ridges.


Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin… Zechariah 4:10

Many of us are like the little bird, we have big dreams and aspirations, some even have blueprints of where they want to be but the mistake most of us make is that we forget growing big means we have to start small.

Take for instance;

Steve Jobs all he had were his idea, few friends who shared his vision and a garage to start with

Arnold Schwarzenegger all he had was his body and a terrible English accent

Larry Page and Sergey Brin could not even afford the rent of a garage when they started, they had to wait like a year to get that yet that didn’t stop them from starting Google.

We would always have excuses why we cannot start living our dreams but when we understand the beauty of starting small we will understand that all these excuses don’t hold water; be it finance, personnel, experience, economic situation and so on, they are all things we can pick up along the way. The most important thing is that we start.

Know this, no matter how big and beautiful your dream is, if it cannot not be broken down into achievable pieces, stages, goals or targets then the dream is already self defeated.

Starting small presupposes that you get better per stage at doing something while growing at the same time. For instance, if your dream is become the President of a country, you will have to have achievable pieces or stages like get a political party, establish yourself in the party, try a couple of positions within the party, create big impression in your community, state and country, go for a state position then finally your dream, the presidency. You don’t just hope that you will wake up someday and become the president. Every dream should be capable of being broken down.

The beauty of starting small is that you are able to grow with your dream; along the way you learn from your mistakes, you adjust to reality, you grow into character and finally surpass your initial dream. However, if you are waiting to start big, most likely you won’t even start and when by a stroke of luck you are able to start, if you fail there would definitely be no way back.

You have a dream capable of being broken down, you have the passion, you have the will and you have You, that’s about all you need to start. Take the first step and don’t look back, start from the least and work your way to the top, set goals, have targets and plan stages, and whatever other things you think you need would find their way to you. Start flying now and very soon you will find your way to the highest mountain where the breeze is coolest.

You Have All You Need To Start

Your Attention Span

Your Attention Span

I learned a lesson from my little boy that I love to share with you.

My little boy is such a fine 4year old with lots of enthusiasm about almost everything; he wants to write, draw, discover new things, play and watch Nickelodeon all at the same time. On this day, he was trying to reassemble his scattered toy and he was at it for some minutes, trying to connect one part to another. As he was about getting it, another thing caught his attention, a piece of paper and pen, so he left his toy and moved to drawing with his new found writing tools. As I was still wondering why he left a toy he seemed so much interested in few minutes ago, I noticed he wasn’t even drawing again, now he was face fixed on SpongeBob on Nickelodeon. I just smiled and said to myself, “he still has short attention span”. Then it hit me, it might be excusable for my little boy but then some adults still suffer from this, especially with their dreams.

The average human attention span was 12 seconds in 2000 and 8 seconds in 2013. A drop of 33%. The scary part is that the attention span of a goldfish was 9 seconds, almost 13% more than us humans. That’s why it’s getting tougher by the day to get people to turn the page. – Ashwin Sanghi

Having so many talents and energy is a very good thing, in fact I love multitalented people but I have also noticed that most multitalented people are as confused as my little boy. Get this, being able to do so many things or being enthusiastic about different things is not a bad thing in itself, but not being able to see one thing through before jumping to another is dangerous. Going back to my little boy, he attempted about 3 things in less than 15minutes and he still didn’t achieve anything. Does this sound like you?

Short attention span has robbed many of the glory they seek; as they are working on one project, they jump to another and before they can achieve anything meaningful they hump on to another. The truth is, getting something done requires that we give that thing most, if not all of our attention. Most of us, myself inclusive, are guilty of this, once we try once or twice we abandon it and move to another thing, and before the turn of the year we would have tried more things than can be counted with the fingers, while if we had stayed with one idea, try and try and try till it starts working by the same turn of the year we would have gone really far.

Whatever you want to do, whatever is placed in your heart, whatever you are so convinced is your way, do everything within your means to follow it through. – Selahsomeone

Take for instance, today we want to do music, tomorrow we want to do modelling and before that could click we are thinking of going into branding business and so on, and at the end of the day we realize we have achieved nothing but pieces of dreams that can’t be put together. Understand this, having many streams of income presupposes that you establish one stream before moving unto another, not that you do one half way, then you jump to another.

Whatever you want to do, whatever is placed in your heart, whatever you are so convinced is your way, do everything within your means to follow it through. Yes! There will be hitches, hurdles and even mountains to climb but none would be enduring if you are persistent consistently. You will be tempted to quit and try something else but as the saying goes quitters don’t win. If you quit this now for something else, then soon you will quit that something else for another thing the moment you are faced with challenges. Even though we see ourselves doing so much, it is wiser to do things one at a time or at most combining two things that we can work together. Let’s look at people who have made impact, most of them are known for one or two achievements. You see, it is always easier to run faster when your load is light.

Be resolute in your approach, work on your attention span, be as excited as you were at the beginning even at the crises middle up till you start seeing results. Good ideas might get you started but without consistency and daily renewed passion, good ideas won’t translate to success. Focus on what you know you are best at and give it all your attention, don’t quit because the results are taking too long to come and say you want to try something else, be diligent, be persistent and be consistent, and when you become fully established in that thing you are best at, you can now bring in your other talents to support it.

You Can Do It

You can do it

No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you’ll find the positive side of things.

Demi Lovato

Success stories are often fun to read, my favorite is the story of Joseph in the Bible, after everything he went through and against as many odds as possible, at last, he ended up solving a huge famine problem and in turn he was made number two person in a foreign land with wealth beyond his imagination. But as much as this story is impressive and astonishing, imagine Joseph who lived it.

Joseph not knowing the end of the story from the beginning like you and I do, would probably at a point thought that every step he took forward, took him two steps backward instead, for every honest and kind attitude he showed he reaped shame and ingratitude, for every problem he solved, instead of commendations he got condemnations and for every hard work he put in, he got hard walls in return. At a some point in the prison, I am sure he would have thought of giving up and maybe blamed himself for not being like everyone else. But the best part of the story is that Joseph never stopped trying, he never stopped pushing, he didn’t give up on his dreams, even when the situation looked hopeless he never stopped believing in possibilities.

Yes, you too can do it!

Before the good times come the hard ones, times that it would seem nothing is working. Often at these times we wonder if there are things we have done wrong or if there were some past trying to catch up with us. In fact, at these times it seems as if every step we take, every effort we make takes us further back. But my friends, these times are our most critical times, these are the times our faith and our resolve to stay true to our dreams get tested. It is like the darkest part of our night that is just before the breaking of our dawn.

With a little persistence you can do it.

It is difficult to hold on to our faith at these trying times especially when most people who truly care about us begin to lose their faith in us. At this point, it feels like we are all alone and no one really understands what we are trying to make of our lives. These are times people refer to us as crazy, lazy or confused, and truly sometimes we are tempted to see it their way and abandon our dreams all together. But dear, that’s about the time things start to make sense, about the time we are pushed to the wall and we start to push harder till doors begin to open.

Please don’t be derailed by what you are currently passing through. I know it is not as easy as I am saying it but then i also know it is not as hard as it is pretending to be. You can pull through this part of your life. Dreaming is the easy part, keeping the dream alive is where the work is, but i am positive you can do it. I know people you trust are currently no where to be found and people who before now shared your views are gradually pulling back because the results are yet to be seen but all these are just like smoke screen, soon when the dust settles and the tide starts to roll your way, the good days would return, then friends and families would love to share the podium with you.

You are another Joseph in the making, just that you can’t see the end of your own story yet but I am more convinced it is even going to be sweeter and your success would be a lesson to others who wouldn’t give up, just because you didn’t. I believe in you not because i want to make you feel good but because I know your pain and I also know it would be well justified in the end if you can just persist consistently a little longer.

Dedicated to my adopted daughter Onome Omodara (www.onomewrites.com)

​THE LIFE OF A KING

THE LIFE OF A KING

In the game of chess, it is universally known that there are different officials on the chessboard with different level of strength and power, from the puns to the knights, and to the bishops and the rooks, and then to the queen, but the King is the most important of all. In fact, the queen can move both horizontally and vertically, and the King can only move a step to anywhere, yet the King has the ultimate prominence on the chessboard. It is interesting to know that no matter how talented, strong or versatile an official is on the chessboard, its primary duty is to protect the King from being checkmated or captured; the moment they capture your King, even with the queen and other powerful officials around, you have lost the battle, that is, game over. If you are primarily obliged to protect your King from being captured, then, the ultimate rule for playing the chess game is to think before you move.

There lived a chess grandmaster named Eugene Brown in the United States of America. He spent his youthful days as a drug dealer, and when the law caught up with him, he spent seventeen years of his life in prison. However, it was in the prison he finally found the purpose for his life and the ultimate rule of living. He played the game of chess throughout his year of imprisonment, and discovered that life is a game of chess, and everyone is a player. He painfully discovered that in his youthful days, he had only been moving his officials on the chessboard without thinking; he had been living his life carelessly without weighing the consequences, and the consequence of that unfortunately is that his King took the fall. After he was released from prison, he managed to secure a job in a high school as a cleaner. He had the chance to watch over the juvenile delinquents of the school in their confinement room, and showed great prowess in keeping them in order, and that was how he started impacting in the lives of the youths, he started to teach them the game of chess and its relevance to their respective lives. Even though he was later sacked from the school due to the revelation of his being an ex-convict, he later set up a chess club which produced excellent chess players and character-refined youths. Guess what the slogan of his chess club was- ‘think b4 you move’.     

Many youths nowadays also make the same mistake Eugene Brown made and had cost him seventeen years of his life. Yes, he did make a better life out of himself after been an ex-convict, but just imagine if he had been thinking before moving, and he had rather spent seventeen years of his life living his dream and living right, just imagine what he might have achieved. That is exactly the same with youths now, most of them don’t think before making decisions, and they later make costly mistakes which they bitterly regret. It is one thing to be talented or gifted, it is one thing to have big dreams, crystal-clear visions and impeccably structured future plans and it is one thing to have a good character. It is one thing to use the queen, knights, rooks and bishops to destroy the enemy’s defense, and it is one thing to keep yourself from losing by protecting your King. The King is your character, it is something you must protect to earn dignity and integrity, and dignity and integrity are the things you must earn to keep your talents or gifts, dreams, visions, plans, ability, capacity and agility relevant to the service of humanity. Your moral force or character is the stronghold or pillar of whatever you possess or might possess, and the moment things go wrong with your character, all other things like admiration, reputation, personality, prestige, power, honour and even wealth crumples onto the ground, and trust me, the rare chances to build them back up is very slim, and is not worth taking the risk. Therefore, protect your King jealously, protect your character carefully, and do that by ‘thinking before you move’.     

By Gbenga Kajopaiye

Read more from this talented writer especially his latest book

Title: The Married Bachelor


Genre: Modern African Fiction (Novel)

  Description: The story is set in the middle of a Nigerian economic recession; two young couples with an agile romantic were caught up in it. Their marriage is almost a year old when suddenly the roses of romance became pricking thorns of violence. Simi believes Teju is cheating on her and pursues justice. Teju on the other hand strives to show his unflinching love to Simi without knowing someone has come between them. And when he gets to know, he commits murder to save his marriage, but it is accidental. Would he be able get back his wife’s trust, can he save his marriage or would his strong love cost him his life?   

Link to the book: http://www.okadabooks.com/book/about/the_married_bachelor/13851