Disappointment

Disappointment

Disappointment is part of life and how we handle it would go a long way in determining how we relate with others. One of the things I first learned about living is that disappointment is inevitable.

Some people will say, “when you put your trust in people what you get is disappointment”, well this is true but how can we live life without trusting someone? Yes, we should trust God but if we can’t trust humans we see how can we trust God we cannot see? Hence, my conclusion that disappointment is just part of life.

In a matter of speaking, you and I have also disappointed people before; our parents, friends, lovers and ourselves. Even though these acts might not have been deliberate, we just find ourselves not living up to the expectations of others, no matter how much we try. On this basis you will probably agree with me that anyone can disappoint and most times not intentionally.

We should be bound by our words, we should uphold whatever we give promise to do that is how it should work but life has also taught me that sometimes things can really really get out of control and we find ourselves where our words and promises become the least of our problems. Ultimately, we disappoint people who ordinarily we would do everything to put smiles on their faces.

Having understood that disappointment can come from anyone you included, so how do you manage disappointment:

  1. See the positives in everything: I think why being disappointed hardly gets to me is because I see the positives in everything. I believe to everything is a reason and not all reasons are comprehendible. So even when I see no reason why someone should disappoint me, I still tell my self, it is for the best. A mentor of mine once told me that there is good in bad and there is bad in good. So whether good or bad, every situation provides reason to be happy and sad (#deep).
  2. Always have a backup plan; When I make plans, I always give room for “what if”, hence, a backup plan. If you observe this too, disappointment won’t hit you too hard. Call it plan B or Plan 2, always ensure you have what to fall back on so you don’t hit the solid ground after a disappointment.
  3. Build on what you can achieve: My ground zero has always been based on what I can personally achieve, then I commit people to helping me from there. Invariably when their help ceases or doesn’t come I will still have my ground zero which is better than nothing. See whatever anyone wants to do for you as just the icing on the cake you baked with your sweat. So even if they disappoint, you still have your cake.
  4. Focus on the big picture: There is this big picture in my head of where I want to be and you know what? I have come to understand that it only takes my commitment and God’s grace to get there. Whoever helps along the way is God sent and whoever chooses to quit on me is just someone God grew tired of using while those who failed to help at all are just people God won’t use for me just to protect my dreams. What do you think?
  5. Have a big heart: Forgiveness used to be one of the most difficult things for me to do, unconsciously I find myself referring to wrongs people did to me and I acted it out. But I think I have grown pass that now. I have grown my heart to accommodate the good, the bad and the ugly without thinking of getting even. This wont happen in a day but as you grow in point number 4, it becomes a piece of cake.
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Look Closely

Look Closely

Look closely, you will find your game changer!

– @selahsomeone

Your life may seem to be in shambles, nothing seems to be working according to plans and you just want to throw in the towel and resign to fate. Or you just don’t see a way out of your current predicament and you think this is the end of everything good. I have this words for you today, “look closely!”

Look closely at your current situation, maybe some lame choices got you here but if you pay attention to what you have learned you can make better choices going forward. You can turn around your lessons into blessings, building from the pieces of what is left of you, making your experiences into a springboard, and a platform for something others can learn from. Many people have come off scenarios crazier than this and you too can but you will have to take a closer look.

I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door.
– Marla Gibbs

Look closely at what you still have in your favour and how you can make them count for something great. No matter how bad things are, there will always be some positives, it just takes a closer look to figure them out. Identity these positives and how you can use them to get your life back together; your contacts, your friends, your goodwill, your faith, your free time, the fact that you still can breathe these are few of the many positives you still have, don’t hesitate to explore them.

Sentiment some times obscure our views, so much we lose hope, we get emotional about what we have lost; heartbreaks and the time we have wasted, the passion that went unrewarded and the investments that failed to yield, all these can leave even the strongest of us shattered. But when we look beyond the grief of the moment and the remains of our disappointment, we will see the dawn that is about to break before us. It is said that when one thing ends another begins. Look closely!

There are over 7 billion people on this planet, I am sure you have not met up to 700’000 people which is far less than 1%, and you think you can’t find someone who shares your dream or a way out your current situation? Think again! Take another look at what new skills and talents you have acquired over these few years, explore them market yourself to the world that is waiting. Don’t be shy be about what you desire, people will talk, make jest of you, even rubbish your efforts but then other people will buy into it, some will finance, most will be motivated by it and eventually it will pay off.

Your Life is Precious

BE HOPEFUL IN HOPELESS SITUATION

Hello!
I heard, you wanna die
How true?
You really want to get rid of your life?

Anyway,
There are many ways to say goodbye;
But, I would suggest one,
Throw yourself in a deep sea
Splash! splash!! splash!!!
There you go.
You would definitely start struggling
To save your life.

You would find it hard give up the struggle.

Why?
Well I know
Life might be hard,
Bitter, painful, and seem unfulfilling.
But there are people making headway
In this same unfair world.
Why then do we want to kill ourselves?

We definitely don’t want to.
But we are trying to kill something else inside of us.
The resentment, the stigma, the anxiety and the sufferings
Are what lies within us
And we are trying to kill ourselves to get rid of them.

Some of us live recklessly
Just to prove we don’t care
Often in rebelion against our family, friends or soceity
This doesn’t change what they feel about us
It only kills the little respect we have left
Good only comes from effort

Here’s what I have for you.
There’s an immense beauty, fruitfulness
And goodness that abounds in this World
Many success stories point to this fact
Life is a potent sign that there’s hope!
You’ll surely overcome your travails.
Just live, learn, love and enjoy your days.

Stop trying to kill yourself!

©Basiru Adebayo Emmanuel

Note To The Enslaved

Note To The Enslaved

To everyone living with foster parents; whether you are an orphan, forced by circumstances, pushed by desperate parents, compelled by survival, whichever is your case, this is a message specially for you. The future might look very bleak at the moment but I have a strong conviction that you would eventually have it your way. 

You might be feeling used, enslaved, maltreated, even abused but in all of these please don’t lose the lessons life is trying to teach you because eventually those would be your gains from all these troubles. Yes! They maybe putting you through hard labour while their own kids enjoy all the luxuries, you might have to be up all night doing chores while their kids enjoy blissful night sleep, you might be in a public school with no good teachers while their kids enjoy the best of ultramodern schools but in all these don’t think for a second you were created for less. Remember, the test of fire makes a fine steel. What you are experiencing now is not meant to limit how far you can go, it is meant to test your resolve to beat life’s odds.

Don’t become hateful, don’t bottle up anger, don’t lose your self-worth and don’t dispense off your dreams. Dreams?!? Yes! Dreams! You must have a dream, don’t be worried about your current limitations, dreams have a way of coming to life when they are nurtured. Opportunities will come, all that you have passed through will be exactly all you would need and then things will start swinging your way. Keep your dreams alive within you and don’t lose hope because it is the best way to overcome occasional depressions and desperations that would come your way from time to time. 

If you are reading this, that means you have access to internet (no matter how seldom), use it to improve yourself. Read as wide as you can, educate yourself, pick interest in what fascinates you and learn as much as you can about it. Formal education is less than 20% of what you need to be successful, the rest is self-development and that you can do yourself, if you put your heart to it. It won’t be easy my friend, but 10years from now when you look back at it all, it would be worth it.
I am not giving you false hope, this is doable, some of us have passed through it, and I for one can say, it made me better and I turned out better than those kids I was enslaved to. You too can! You deserve to be happy and you would be, it may not be as soon as you desire it but it would surely come and when it comes, you would look back with tears of joy in your eyes and say, ‘Yes, I made it’.

My Trevo™ Experience

My Trevo™ Experience

“There is greatness in your inside.”

If you have attended any of the Trevo “Business meeting” you would understand the concept of my opening sentence. I share this belief because I strongly believe that everyone is special in his/her own way, of course our being special also means that we are not only unique but we have specialties. A bird can’t do well in the sea neither can a fish flourish on a tree, that’s the concept of uniqueness and speciality.

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Like everyone, I was curious to see what the “Business meeting” was all about plus I was on leave in Akure City, so I guess going out wouldn’t hurt. Got an invitation on request from an amiable lady Bamidele Olubunmi . Considering my usual reservations when it comes to online marketing, networking and referral schemes, as they call it “open mind business”, (Chisom Henry Skillz can attest to this), when I found out this was another of such, I was basically disappointed. However, seeing the excitement in the atmosphere, the enthusiasm exhibited by the teenagers and youth in the hall, I begin to see that after all said and done,  there is a future for my country. Hope that lies in the eyes of these teens that still believe that with hard work, determination and diligence, they can reach the skies held me spell bound.

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I understand how get rich-quick campaign can generate so many disciples but this that I saw was genuine believe. Some of the future leaders actually believe in hard work and results. The trainers (either a pastor this or apostle that and my most admired ‘Adetula the great’) came one after the other talking about the product and the “wonders” it does, the pioneer and his successes (businesses and family) and also about the business side of joining the Trevo wagon,  with testimonies of how millionaires have been made.

I think it is not a bad idea considering good Jobs can’t really make millionaires only entrepreneurial skills can ensure that and that’s what the campaign really stressed.  Even if these youths don’t eventually sign up, they have been taught one thing that will help them throughout life and that is, there is greatness in their inside and they just have to find a way to let it out.

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William Shakespeare said “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” but the bottom line is “there is greatness in everyone . (But you have to) look within yourself and discover your greatness.” Lailah Gifty concluded. Don’t underestimate yourself or the potential you carry, don’t be someone with great ideas only, be someone who is willing and able to take bold steps to backup those lofty ideas. We are children of destiny, a fate that is in our own hands.

Hope: The Tyler Perry Story

Hope: The Tyler Perry Story

There is a man I so much love and respect I discovered something great about this man, he never achieved his success overnight, he never gave up he had the hope that his dreams will come pass, if you are a big fan of Madea then you will know this man it is no other person but the Madea character himself “TYLER PERRY”.

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Born into poverty in New Orleans, Louisiana on 13th September 1969 as Emmit Perry Jnr, as a child he suffered abuse from his father like he once said that his father’s answer to anything was to beat it out of you and he even attempted suicide once just to escape his father’s beatings, the only place he found refuge was in church which his mother took him once a week and in an effort to distance himself from his father at the age of sixteen he changed his name from Emmit to Tyler Perry, he never completed  his high school degree but he earned a General education development which is known as GED (a diploma for adults which is equivalent to a high- school diploma). A simple advice from Oprah Winfrey set his career into motion, encouraged to keep a diary of his thoughts and experiences, he began writing a series of soul-searching letters to himself, the letters were full of pain and in time forgiveness became a healing of emotional release, his writings later inspired a musical called I know I’ve been Changed.

In 1992, he gathered his life savings of about $12,000 in hopes of staging a play he spent all his money but people never came and Tyler once again came face to face with poverty that had plagued his youth, he spent months sleeping in seedy motels and in his car but his faith in his God and in himself only got stronger, he kept writing and in 1998 his perseverance paid off , a promoter booked I know I’ve been changed for a limited run at a local church-turned-theatre and this time people came out in droves and Tyler never looked back. Tyler Perry has earned US $130 million between May 2010 and 2011, in 2011 Forbes named him the highest paid man in entertainment and today he is a nothing but a success story. He is a man who had hope and never gave up.

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Samuel Smiles said “Hope is like the sun, which as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us” Hope is that stubborn thing in us that insists in spite the challenges it believes that something better awaits us; all we need is the courage to keeping believing, keep reaching, keep working hard and not giving up. There are times when it looks as if the world is crashing and it seems like your good dreams will never come pass but I want you know all you need to do is to hold on to your faith, keep your hopes alive and don’t give up.

I have good news for you it doesn’t matter where you are, your background, your past, who your parents are you can actually make it if only you keep working hard and you keep your faith alive there is always enough room at the top. I know it may be hard right now but I want you to know that God has not forgotten you. You are in God’s plan, so do not be discouraged. All you need to do, is to light that candle called “Hope” and keep it burning, for a brighter future awaits you. Morgan Freeman didn’t appear in a movie until age 34, and didn’t get a big role until he was 52, he kept doing what he knows how to do best, he didn’t lose hope in spite of his age and it paid of. He is now one of the highest paid artist.

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Anne Frank said “When there is hope, there is life. It fills us with fresh courage and makes us strong again” as long you are still breathing and you are still alive you can make it, don’t lose that hope of making it, sustain that hope! Of course, the road is not going to be easy, every great man has been there but what made them great was that they never gave up. You are born to be great, God never made you a failure, failure is just temporary, if you have failed get up and get going.
Remember, you are not a failure, you are a success and the world is waiting for you because your story will inspire generations if you don’t give up, I challenge you today to sustain that hope and keep your dreams alive because you are born to be great! I believe in you! Keep working hard! The best you can be is number one!

God bless you

Keep your hope alive!

Omodara Oluwabunmi Onome

Be Grateful

Be Grateful

Life has really showed every one of us different things, different lessons at different phases. There are days we can’t stop tearing and other days we find it hard to hold back the smiles. There are days when all we ask are questions and there are other days when it seems we have all the answers. There are days we can’t stop complaining because we feel so lost and unfulfilled and other days we see things beyond our comprehension and then we can’t stop giving thanks. However, if we are diligent and observant, we will realize that life won’t always be perfect but a grateful heart will thrive even in the mist of imperfections.

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Jide was a young man born in the western part of Nigeria, he was very intelligent and hardworking. He had always dreamed of becoming a medical doctor and he thought his dreams had come true when he passed his school certificate exams in flying colours. His parents were so proud of him, when he cleared all other exams that would lead him to study medicine but to everyone’s surprise Jide was not offered medicine at his choice University.  Instead of Medicine, he was offered Biochemistry. His father did all he could, he made lots of phone calls to his friends who he thought could help but all to no avail. Then his father encouraged him to go for the course in the hope that he would cross over to medicine in his second year.

Jide went in good faith and did all he could, he studied so hard but unfortunately for him (so he thought), he was not allowed to cross to medicine. He hated life so much so, that he questioned the existence of God. However, his parents were able encouraged him to trust in God’s purpose for his life and told him to be grateful for what he has. Jide felt they were only trying to cheer him up and rather than being grateful he was hateful. Things got worse for him,  he had carryovers in few compulsory courses and this effectively killed any hope he had of crossing to study Medicine.

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He decided to share the bad news with his parents hoping they would console him as usual but he was surprised when his father called him ‘good for nothing’ and a failure. He felt like dying, he just could not understand how his loving parents would suddenly change. He concluded that instant that if there is a God, then that God must really hate him. He then made up his mind that he was on his own and has to give it all he has got if he wants to make head way in life.

By his fourth year in the university, he was done with his carryovers and he was much better in his academics.  One day, he decided to visit his close friend (the smartest of them back in secondary school days) who was studying medicine. When he got to his hostel, he met him crying, he inquired what the issue was, his friend told him, he had failed his Incourse exams and he has been dropped to Biochemistry and was to now start again from year two. Furthermore, he does not know how to tell his parents and his friend concluded by saying,“ I wish  I had your life, I wish I was also given biochemistry from the beginning”. These words shook Jide to the spine.

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That second, Jide realized how ungrateful he has been. He  realized his mess was really a blessing. He finally understood that because God knows our inadequacies he sometimes take us through the wilderness so that we can discover the Joshua and Caleb in us. Jide could only imagine what his friend was going through and now in his heart he was grateful for what he has. He now saw that he wasn’t really prepared for the challenges of studying medicine, he was only eager to study the course because he wanted to measure up to his friend and satisfy the ego of his parents. Jide learned the real lesson of life, that if one appreciates what one has, one would eventually have what one desires.

A lot of us wake up in the morning wishing we had better lives, better relationship, better friends even better parents but the funny thing is there are lots people who look at us and pray and wish they had a life like ours. Most people are not satisfied and this won’t likely change till eternity comes. It is not all about the present pain, tribulations or challenges but there is a need to be grateful for the little things we have.

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“A man who appreciates little things will definitely earn bigger things -Onome”

Walking on the street every day I see a lot of homeless people, I see kids who have no hope of becoming something great tomorrow, I see kids who are hungry but yet they still move on with their lives hoping that maybe someday a miracle will happen, these people have not given up on life, and I believe you and I who have almost everything should learn from them. Therefore, I charge you to look beyond the pains, the trauma and the disappointments, and choose to focus on the positives while being grateful for every little thing you have; the air we breathe, the alarm that wakes us, the family we have, the friends that keeps us company, the life that gives us hope and the miracles we see everyday. 

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“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears – Tony Robbins”

The fact that we are breathing is a blessing; there is always something for everyone to be grateful for and in faith we should be thankful for things that we do not have yet. For if we choose the path of gratitude the rest of our life will be testimonies to God’s blessings.

By Omodara Oluwabunmi Onome