Getting Too Familiar

It is no longer news that men and women are been killed on a daily basis now by the same people they once exchanged marital vows with. Some men abuse, maltreat even rape the same women they once claimed nothing can come between them, same women that are meant to be supportive pillars to them. Some women ignore their husbands, starve them of sexual pleasures and even use words that can kill destiny on the men they sworn to love till their dying days.

These are not end time signs like most other inexplicable things we tie to end time. These are because we take some things for granted and because we forget our position and obligation as a woman or a man. Not to forget that we are at the age of technology abuse, false liberation, wildering morals and religious recklessness.

In the book of Esther, a Queen called Vashti lost her position because she disobey the King’s instruction in the presence of the maids. I am sure, if she had done same thing while alone with the king, the result would have been different. The king never had the plan of having another wife, but the queen’s attitude brought about the second wife.

He is your husband, but don’t get too familiar with him to the point of bringing him down or disrespecting him in the public.

Never get too familiar with him or her to the point of washing his or her dirty linen outside. Neither of you is perfect, but your attitude in correcting the wrong of one another speaks a volume. You correct in love, not for attention or ridiculing.

Wife, you are powerful, more powerful than you will ever know, but please learn to use your power in bringing unity and peace into your home. What binds you together is more than the love you professed, you have exchanged vows and it is for better and for worse; through the good times and the bad times. Those side chicks are taking what belongs to you because they know the key to his heart, just like you used to know but too busy with life to remember. Sometimes to respect him is all you need to make things right, then correct him after he is calm.

Husband, as a man, you hold the key to stop external influence on your home. Never walk out on your home because you think it is her fault, please build trust! When she is wrong, please let your means of correcting her be love, compassion and respect. Those side chicks maybe a temporary solution but for how long? Your home should always come first, should be your priority, the blessings that come with a good home and a happy wife is too much to lose because of temporary gratifications.

Esther became a Queen and all her enemies became a thing of the past because she had someone called Mordecai, she took counsel from. Do you have someone you take counsel from regarding your relationship (I mean Godly counsel)? The best way to see far is to stand on the shoulders of those ahead of you. When they advise based on God’s instruction please take to it, remember, Esther’s blessings were in Mordecai’s instructions to her.

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Remember, don’t get too familiar that you become disrespectful to your spouse in public or before your children, maids or friends. Don’t get used to him or her that you begin to take him or her for granted. Don’t ignore your spouse’s feelings, their need to express how they feel and to be loved. Happy home is an ongoing process, we never stop being committed, and we keep pressing till we grow old together.

Getting Too Familiar



One of the major reasons for crisis at homes and/or in marriages is assigning roles and responsibilities. Society has taught us what a man should do at home and what he should not do (same goes for women).

Who should ‘win the bread’ for the family?

Our society has taught us that it is the responsibility of the man to provide all that the family needs to survive, but like I always say the best person to tell you how a product will work best is the manufacturer (every other person will only give you their best guess).

Marriage was ordained by God making Him(God) the only one who can give us the most practicable instruction/ guide on how it works.

In the book of Genesis 1 vs 27, Bible says ” So God created man in His own image and He created them male and Female ” at this point man was perfect and has all it takes to provide for the house without failing in anyway.

But in Genesis 2 vs 21, God caused Adam to sleep and Eve was removed, so Adam can be helped.

Adam became “imperfect” and can no longer provide all that is required to run a home. Some of the things needed were deposited with the woman, while others remained with the man.

We carry different grace to function in the marriage!

God himself decided to make some women more comfortable financially than their husbands ( not because the man is Lazy). Will it not be unfair on God’s part, if He is asking a man to provide what was not given to him?

Little wonder He(God) said both the man and the woman shall become one and must operate as one in all their dealings.

Man can cook, if he is better than his wife in that aspect, woman can provide the bread( if financially better than the man). Let me also point out this fact that irrespective of who is doing what, it is wisdom for the couple to know they are actually an instrument in God’s hand to build a happy home. The provider of the bread is God and may choose whosoever He pleases to provide through.

Come to think of it, all that Adam and Eve needed to survive was provided by God( the breadwinner), He only ask Adam to take charge on what to be touched and what not to be touched (Leadership).

Most will quote 1 Timothy 5 vs 8 here saying ‘Any man who cannot provide for his House is worst than an unbeliever’. What Bible expects a man to provide here is Leadership (1 Corinthians 11 vs 3-5) God expects you to Lead the family not only by word of mouth or backing orders but by examples in action and devotion to making your home a happy one.

Live as one and never allow the society to rule your home. Embrace the role you find yourself within the capacity God has given you. Don’t exploit your partner’s weakness, rather compensate, complete and complement your partner by all means possible. You are one, live as such and build a home that everyone in the family wants to come back to.