Your problems or The Solutions?

Where should your focus be; Your problems or The Solutions?

Easily many of us would say the focus should be on the solutions and not the problems but how practicable is this for most of us?

Problems are often the defining moments of our individual life. They are points we would be required to make complex decisions, getting off our comfort zone, having to mend ways with our enemies, sometime turn against friends and family, and other times it just simply going against the odds.

The funny thing about problems is that when you hold your problem up like it is one big insurmountable mountain, it turns out to be so but the moment you understand you can beat the odds, you start seeing Solutions. In variably, we cannot take our eyes off the problem however our attitude should reflect positivity if we want solutions and the moment we have the solutions we should be about it.

I remember a story my dad once told me, He said;

Long time ago, there was famine (problem) in the animal kingdom and all the animals became slim and many where dying of hunger. They had a meeting and all the young animals, after much lamentation and bickering (focus on the problem), they decided to survive, they should all kill the old animals and eat (at this point they have concluded that the famine would not end and they have to live for the moment at least). However, the tortoise had other plans. The tortoise sent its own mother into another land where there was no famine (solution). While others had killed every of their parents, and finally resigned to “fate”, the tortoise kept surviving from the food its mother was sending from the other land.

As funny as this story was to me then, I learned that no matter how big and complex a problem is, somewhere somehow there is an equally suitable solution, I just have to find.

Here is another fact, because majority have failed to see the solution doesn’t mean it doesnt exist. Seeing the solution like i earlier said depends on your attitude to the problem; are you focused on how insurmountable the problem is or on finding a lon term solution.

It is easy to focus on the problem and complain to everyone who cares to listen, in fact you will get many “likes” and “comments” for this on social media but it would never change a thing only at best give a temporal relief.

You have a whole lot of life ahead of you, be smart focus on the life ahead not your problems. Problems come and go, some you will have solutions to others you would just have to outlast or outlive them. Your life is precious, please make it count.

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BE HOPEFUL IN HOPELESS SITUATION

Hello!
I heard, you wanna die
How true?
You really want to get rid of your life?

Anyway,
There are many ways to say goodbye;
But, I would suggest one,
Throw yourself in a deep sea
Splash! splash!! splash!!!
There you go.
You would definitely start struggling
To save your life.

You would find it hard give up the struggle.

Why?
Well I know
Life might be hard,
Bitter, painful, and seem unfulfilling.
But there are people making headway
In this same unfair world.
Why then do we want to kill ourselves?

We definitely don’t want to.
But we are trying to kill something else inside of us.
The resentment, the stigma, the anxiety and the sufferings
Are what lies within us
And we are trying to kill ourselves to get rid of them.

Some of us live recklessly
Just to prove we don’t care
Often in rebelion against our family, friends or soceity
This doesn’t change what they feel about us
It only kills the little respect we have left
Good only comes from effort

Here’s what I have for you.
There’s an immense beauty, fruitfulness
And goodness that abounds in this World
Many success stories point to this fact
Life is a potent sign that there’s hope!
You’ll surely overcome your travails.
Just live, learn, love and enjoy your days.

Stop trying to kill yourself!

©Basiru Adebayo Emmanuel

Your Life is Precious

See The Positives in You

See The Positives in You

Whining is more like a trend these days, in fact unconsciously people just start to complain about anything and everything; how their life sucks, and some even compete with whose life sucks the most. You hear one person saying “my life is hell” and another saying “mine is more hell than yours”. Come on guys, we have to keep hope alive to stay alive, we have to focus on the positives we still have. Pity party can seem like fun and relieving but in the end it doesn’t solve the problem, rather it robs us off the zeal to fight back.

For every downside there is always an upside but it takes learning to appreciate what is unseen. Tragedy has a way of magnifying the buts, the should haves and the inflicted but with deep thoughts we can always see the blessings, the haves and the deflected. Raw diamond could be mistaken for an ordinary stone but even in its raw form people with knowledge still know its worth. No matter how tough times may be, if you have faith you will be able to see beyond the trials.

I remember some years back, I was battling with loss of job and many people i knew then kept reminding me of how many mistakes i made on my way to losing the job, some tried to shift and push the blame on my colleagues while others almost turn it into a charade of pity party and jamboree of condolences. I remember telling myself “I may have made some mistakes, some people may have had a hand in it but i can always come back from these better”. I didn’t just sit and allow life roll me over, I pushed back by not allowing myself drown in the negatives. I focused on the positives; my skill, my experience and my expertise, even when people said it was going to be hard getting another job, I was never in doubt i can come through.

Don’t hold your problems high up, don’t emphasize your negatives, focus on where you want to be, the kind of life you see yourself living five or ten years from now and work passionately towards it. We seriously have to quit bemoaning our situation, past or present, for a fact we will all pass through some forms of trying times, but these trying times are not meant to be our end rather a means to an end depending on our attitude during and after these times. Our attitude; did we choose to complain or embrace and forge ahead?

One day, a donkey fell into a pit. The animal cried and whined for hours while his owner tried to figure out what to do. Finally, the farmer decided that since the animal was old, and the pit needed to be covered up anyway, he’d just bury the old donkey right there. He got a shovel and started filling in the pit. The donkey kept up its wailing, but then fell silent. After an hour of furious shovelling, the farmer paused to rest. To his amazement, he saw his old donkey jump out of the pit and trot away! At first, when the donkey realized what was happening, he cried even more piteously. But then the wise animal hit on a plan. As each spadeful of dirt hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up on the growing mound of earth. Eventually, the mound grew high enough for him to jump out of the pit. Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the pit well is to shake it off and take a step up. We can get out of the deepest pits by not stopping and never giving up. Just shake it off and take a step up.

– Jew tales

Most people focus on the negatives because they keep comparing themselves with other people. They keep using other’s achievements as yardstick for their own lives. Life is not designed to be a rat race, as individuals we have our own unique contribution and they are embedded in the lessons we have learned and the positives we have taken from our troubles over the years. Don’t waste your time chasing others when you can be setting your own pace, there are lot of positives you can take from your current situation and create the kind of life you want for yourself. It is never too late to decide on who you want to be; the guy that whined about everything and did nothing or the guy that made the best of bad situations and lived happily ever after.

Life is no fairy tale my friend but miracles still happen, people still move from nothing to something, talents still make way, hard work still gets reward, faith still move mountains, persistence still breaks through, consistence still gets celebrated and negatives still yield a whole lot of positives.

​THE LIFE OF A KING

THE LIFE OF A KING

In the game of chess, it is universally known that there are different officials on the chessboard with different level of strength and power, from the puns to the knights, and to the bishops and the rooks, and then to the queen, but the King is the most important of all. In fact, the queen can move both horizontally and vertically, and the King can only move a step to anywhere, yet the King has the ultimate prominence on the chessboard. It is interesting to know that no matter how talented, strong or versatile an official is on the chessboard, its primary duty is to protect the King from being checkmated or captured; the moment they capture your King, even with the queen and other powerful officials around, you have lost the battle, that is, game over. If you are primarily obliged to protect your King from being captured, then, the ultimate rule for playing the chess game is to think before you move.

There lived a chess grandmaster named Eugene Brown in the United States of America. He spent his youthful days as a drug dealer, and when the law caught up with him, he spent seventeen years of his life in prison. However, it was in the prison he finally found the purpose for his life and the ultimate rule of living. He played the game of chess throughout his year of imprisonment, and discovered that life is a game of chess, and everyone is a player. He painfully discovered that in his youthful days, he had only been moving his officials on the chessboard without thinking; he had been living his life carelessly without weighing the consequences, and the consequence of that unfortunately is that his King took the fall. After he was released from prison, he managed to secure a job in a high school as a cleaner. He had the chance to watch over the juvenile delinquents of the school in their confinement room, and showed great prowess in keeping them in order, and that was how he started impacting in the lives of the youths, he started to teach them the game of chess and its relevance to their respective lives. Even though he was later sacked from the school due to the revelation of his being an ex-convict, he later set up a chess club which produced excellent chess players and character-refined youths. Guess what the slogan of his chess club was- ‘think b4 you move’.     

Many youths nowadays also make the same mistake Eugene Brown made and had cost him seventeen years of his life. Yes, he did make a better life out of himself after been an ex-convict, but just imagine if he had been thinking before moving, and he had rather spent seventeen years of his life living his dream and living right, just imagine what he might have achieved. That is exactly the same with youths now, most of them don’t think before making decisions, and they later make costly mistakes which they bitterly regret. It is one thing to be talented or gifted, it is one thing to have big dreams, crystal-clear visions and impeccably structured future plans and it is one thing to have a good character. It is one thing to use the queen, knights, rooks and bishops to destroy the enemy’s defense, and it is one thing to keep yourself from losing by protecting your King. The King is your character, it is something you must protect to earn dignity and integrity, and dignity and integrity are the things you must earn to keep your talents or gifts, dreams, visions, plans, ability, capacity and agility relevant to the service of humanity. Your moral force or character is the stronghold or pillar of whatever you possess or might possess, and the moment things go wrong with your character, all other things like admiration, reputation, personality, prestige, power, honour and even wealth crumples onto the ground, and trust me, the rare chances to build them back up is very slim, and is not worth taking the risk. Therefore, protect your King jealously, protect your character carefully, and do that by ‘thinking before you move’.     

By Gbenga Kajopaiye

Read more from this talented writer especially his latest book

Title: The Married Bachelor


Genre: Modern African Fiction (Novel)

  Description: The story is set in the middle of a Nigerian economic recession; two young couples with an agile romantic were caught up in it. Their marriage is almost a year old when suddenly the roses of romance became pricking thorns of violence. Simi believes Teju is cheating on her and pursues justice. Teju on the other hand strives to show his unflinching love to Simi without knowing someone has come between them. And when he gets to know, he commits murder to save his marriage, but it is accidental. Would he be able get back his wife’s trust, can he save his marriage or would his strong love cost him his life?   

Link to the book: http://www.okadabooks.com/book/about/the_married_bachelor/13851  

​It Has Always Been Your Decision 

It has always been your decision

No matter who said what, It has always been your decision
You have made the choices and you are in this situation
People may have influenced your line of thought
But you could have looked back on what you have been taught
No matter how bad and demeaning the pressure is
You always had the chance to chose before it came to what it is

Many people will come along our way
Many of whom have lost their way
If we do not exercise caution we may join the trend
Forgetting we have a say on whom we choose to call a friend
We are responsible for our lives first before we care for two
Even when we are blinded by our feelings and needs too

Circumstances, most say led them to doom
But same circumstances had made others bloom
What we make of life is more of how we respond to life
Some challenges may seem insurmountable but that’s just life
When you go through history you will find people have survived worse
And what you are going through is just a phase in life’s posepose

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No one can take the blame for the choices you have made but you
Bad character and uncontrolled childhood excesses kills prospects like flu
We have no sufficient reasons to end up as failures
In spite of the rough starts faith and hard work are often the best cues
There will be pressure from friends, family and life itself
But in the mist of all these pressures you will be wise to be yourself

EVERYONE HAS GOT A PRICE

Everyone Has Got A Price

We live in a society where people are quick to criticise other people, events or actions as long as they are not involved. Mind you, they may be engaged in something worse or close but as long as its not the present subject matter, they cast their stones on the accused without remorse. Most times, when situations occur, its sympathizers and critics fail to keenly ask themselves what they would have done if they were involved in it or if they could have acted better. If tides change and a critic of yesterday becomes a victim today, what should we expect?

In politics, it is observed that the incumbency is always inadequate at the time of power transition. However, when new individuals assume office, their flaws are seen in no time on either the same basis or similar ones with which their predecessors were criticized. My point is, everybody has got a price – you might never know yours until its the asking price. People are faced with situations daily. They have to make decisions, take actions and follow them through using methods they regard best to enable them cope with the situation. This is greatly influenced by their habits, personalities, etc. whether good or bad. When the result of these decisions become publicly known, a third party would learn from it by seeking better solutions to give him/her an edge if quizzed with such in the nearest future.

Passing judgement is easy anyone can do that but it takes compassion to understand while only the wise ones remember to live the lessons!

This develops one’s character and standards as the observer does not only seek for reasons to condemn but also unbiasedly analyses the situations and learns from it. People succumb to pressure when their charisma and values have been overpowered by it. Either in business or relationship, temptations will come. Being broke or lonely could be the asking price for a neighbour to do weird things. When exposed, they are castigated for not doing the right thing. Some people might even take out time to school them on how they could have acted better. If the same situation is redefined or intensified, these teachers mess up like no other. Wonder why? Its because they never learnt from the predicament of their neighbour; they only judged it.

In the days of Jesus, when the adulteress was caught without a defense, the perfect judge heard her case but denied her a sentence. I guess that was because He knew that a judgement on her would mean an equal judgement on everyone who was present either at that instant or a later future. We will all sell at a price, but what is your own price and because someone sold at a price less than we think we can sell doesn’t make them cheap, it only confirms they are human and they have a price.

We will all sell at a price, but what is your own price and because someone sold at a price less than we think we can sell doesn’t make them cheap, it only confirms they are human and they have a price.

Instead of magnifying people’s failures, show empathy and understanding, then you learn from them and step up your game. Increase the amount on your price tag so that on the bazaar of life, your shame will never be bought.

How do you want to die? 

How do you want to die? 

A quick look at today’s elders gives an insight to how the future of today’s youths will be. Elders are known for their stories; they have had an experience for almost every situation or question they are faced with. When given enough time, they reflect on their past, reminiscence on events that affected their lives and often times, contribute to their current state of living. The stories they share sometimes sound like movie scripts because of the intrigues, suspense, sadness and joy it entails, and not forgetting the vibrancy with which they shared them. A salient truth embedded in those details however, is that those stories reveal how the narrator spent his or her life. 

Their lives came in phases; childhood, teenage years, youthful stage then adulthood. Each phase was splitted into a time frame of twenty four hours a day as we have in modern times. Some of these elders, started out as privileged young chaps who got whatever they wanted or sought for opportunities to live their dreams. Either through formal education, skill acquisition or business orientation, they stepped out on a right footing in their youthful years. 

So, everything done has its place on the sand of time and would amount to ones biography someday. – Oluwatosin

As the phase concluded and the next commenced, they continually expanded their horizon in search for opportunities, knowledge, information and greener pastures. Thess exploits came along with exposure into different areas and it helped their choices in life decisions. When sharing their autobiographies as elders, they remember the years of troubles, adventures and celebrations. They re-live the moments of achievements with pride and would willingly set themselves as examples. 

There are also elders who would rather lie than expose their faults and regrets. For reasons which they wish never occurred, they lost opportunities, blew up the bridges to their success and a chance to have a better life for themselves and future generations. Instead of leaving a good legacy for their offspring, they depend on them for survival and serve those who they should have tutored. Elders like these, live everyday in regret, aggression and secret shame of how much of their lives have been wasted. 

A common gift from both category of elders to today’s youth and children is the nugget of how life should and should not be spent. As in the days of old, every man has got his life in phases with a fixed amount of time allocated to each. So, everything done has its place on the sand of time and would amount to ones biography someday. Spending time is easy but accounting for it can either result in pride or pain. A good number of the world’s population would rather live long but the question is what memories are we building?

What scares me are not the mistakes I have made everyone is guilty of that but what scares me are those mistakes I have covered up because I know someday I will have to make reference to them and when that day comes, I hope I have a good explanation. – selahsomeone


So I ask you, how do you want to die? Fulfilled or fool-filled?

​You are responsible 

​You are responsible learn to take responsibility

​In the end, we are responsible for how things turn out for us. Not the gods neither is it the unseen spirits, not fate neither is it destiny, it is simply the cumulation of all the choices we have made; one choice after another!

Recently, a friend of mine lost his job because of an obvious silly act, and when he was asked what happened his response was, “it was the devil” (I am sure the ‘devil’ must be so confused by now considering the number of accusations he/she gets daily). Then I simply asked him, ” did the devil make those choices for you?”. He wouldn’t reply, he just kept starring blank. This is exactly what most of us do, when things go sideways, we are so comfortable at passing the blame, while others use words like “God understands, it is well, I can’t kill myself etc.” to cover  up for their laziness and indecisions. Don’t get me wrong, supernatural forces are real but 99% of consequences are as a result of bad decisions; our own choices.

Too often we shy a way from taking responsibilities for our mistakes, bad choices and nonchalant attitudes however, we are quick to take credit for things we got right. Life works both ways, sometimes it is just so perfect while other times it seems like we can’t just get anything right, unfortunately, we have to be responsible for both outcomes. We want to ask questions like; why me? what kind of luck is this? who should I blame? When the most important question should have been ‘will I be able to bear the outcome of this choice?’.

I know most often wrong choices are as a result of pressure, pressure so powerful that our natural line of thoughts become distorted. Such pressures include peer pressure, greed, hunger, body desires, laziness, anger, jealousy, alcohol, drugs, cravings etc. but the truth is, no matter what is responsible for the pressure, when the did is done, no one sees the pressure and distortion again but the fact you made a choice and you must face the consequences; even where you don’t pay the ultimate price, the scar just never goes away. 

Now I am not going to assume, we all have equal self-control, in fact I agree it is often easier making a wrong choice than the right one, right decisions require more sacrifices and sincerely it takes lots guts but we also must have it in our subconscious that we will be responsible for the outcome of our actions. If it’s our action then the responsibility cannot be passed.

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” – Jim Rohn.

To achieve your goals in life you have to take responsible for your actions and inactions, and you have to be disciplined enough to make right choices, even when they really don’t sit well with your immediate desires. Apologize when your choice affects others most will forgive your sincerity, when you give your words honour them because second chances are very rare, own your problems and be about solutions, and don’t feed your lazy thoughts by being inactive, even the devil needs an idle hand before the devil can manipulate.

It is your life and you are responsible for the outcomes, you hold the pen to write your own story, the moment you drop the pen others will pick it and write whatever pleases them for you. I don’t want that and I know neither do you. So don’t handover the control of you life to someone or something else, own your existence and make this one life that you have count for something good.You are responsible for your life, so learn to take responsibility!

Some People Just Wear It Better

Some People Just Wear It Better

In a beautiful car was a woman so elegant, all dressed up and looking like the world was at her beck and call. Then there was this traffic at the ever busy road of UI (University of Ibadan), a woman with triplet seized the moment and rushed to this woman to beg for alms. The woman with her triplet peeping through the window of the fancy car, said to the woman, “please help us, we have not eaten for the past two days, my kids are hungry, I just wish I didn’t have them“. The woman in the fancy car with cloud of tears in her eyes, searched through her purse took a thousand naira note and gave it to the woman, then she said, “how I wish I could have just one child instead of all these riches“.

Everyone is passing through something but some people just wear it better. Don’t think that what you are passing through is the worst, we are all in life’s ocean being rocked by the waves of circumstances. Though it may seem on this ocean of life few are in a ship, couple in a boat, some in a canoe and others on a raft but no matter where you find yourself, the waves of life’s storm are just inevitable. It will hit in different forms, times and shapes, the truth is, only you know how bad it hurts but as much as it hurts don’t take it out on someone else because everyone has something they are struggling with too.

I have seen students with admission but can’t afford the fees, I have counseled students with wealthy parents yet can’t make it through the required exams to secure admission but then I have met grduates with all the good grades yet can’t seem to figure out what to do with their lives. I have seen people who struggle to get by each day yet they live over a hundred years while people with so much more can’t make it pass sixty years of age. I have shared tables with someone who had it all smooth, like life was made for him, I almost questioned God “what I did wrong why my life wasn’t like his” but then like a candle in the wind, he burnt out so fast and without a trace, and a part of me had to be thankful for the life I have. 

We are all on this ocean together; it storms, it thunders, sometimes a glimpse of rainbow, then sunshine but whichever comes to you first, don’t forget everyone is passing through something, some just wear it better.

If you look back you would realize there were so many situations you thought you wouldn’t survive but here you are, you survived them all, there were many things you thought you wouldn’t achieve but inch by inch you got them all covered while there were things you thought if you didn’t get, it will mean the end for you but then even though you didn’t get them you are still standing; you beat the odds on daily basis! You are more than you give yourself credit for, you are a survivor.  

So put a smile on your face, no matter what life throws at you, don’t be about your problems rather be about the solutions. Think positively, even the worst situations can still be made better. Don’t use negative words on yourself, don’t give up on what matters to you, don’t quit no matter what and above all don’t hate others because you think they are having it easy, remember, everyone is passing through something, some just wear it better.

What’s Your Passion?

What’s Your Passion?

When God gives you a vision for your life, it’ll burn within you like a fire that can’t be extinguished. The psalmist said, ‘My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burnt.’ So, what are you passionate about? What burns ‘hot’ within you?

When God calls you to do something, He creates within you both the desire to do it and the power to carry it out. Though you feel inadequate and unqualified, stand on His Word: ‘For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him’ (Philippians 2:13 NLT).
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Mahatma Gandhi had a vision of a free and independent India at a time when it was governed by the British. Henry Ford had a vision of every family in America owning an automobile at a time when people were frightened of his new invention. Daniel K. Ludwig had a vision of a self-supporting industrial region in the heart of the Brazilian jungle at a time when there was no industry, no electricity, and no city of any kind for hundreds of miles.

Where do such creative desires come from? God, Who is our Creator! And when God gives you a true worldview, you’ll never be happy living in a narrow mental framework.

Are there times when you’ll feel afraid and uncertain about what to do? Yes! Fear and faith are two sides of the same coin, and they’ll always be part of your thinking. But the one you choose is the one that’ll determine your future – and you get to choose!

‘My heart grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire burned.’ Psalm 39:3 NIV (1984 Edition)

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