Getting Too Familiar

It is no longer news that men and women are been killed on a daily basis now by the same people they once exchanged marital vows with. Some men abuse, maltreat even rape the same women they once claimed nothing can come between them, same women that are meant to be supportive pillars to them. Some women ignore their husbands, starve them of sexual pleasures and even use words that can kill destiny on the men they sworn to love till their dying days.

These are not end time signs like most other inexplicable things we tie to end time. These are because we take some things for granted and because we forget our position and obligation as a woman or a man. Not to forget that we are at the age of technology abuse, false liberation, wildering morals and religious recklessness.

In the book of Esther, a Queen called Vashti lost her position because she disobey the King’s instruction in the presence of the maids. I am sure, if she had done same thing while alone with the king, the result would have been different. The king never had the plan of having another wife, but the queen’s attitude brought about the second wife.

He is your husband, but don’t get too familiar with him to the point of bringing him down or disrespecting him in the public.

Never get too familiar with him or her to the point of washing his or her dirty linen outside. Neither of you is perfect, but your attitude in correcting the wrong of one another speaks a volume. You correct in love, not for attention or ridiculing.

Wife, you are powerful, more powerful than you will ever know, but please learn to use your power in bringing unity and peace into your home. What binds you together is more than the love you professed, you have exchanged vows and it is for better and for worse; through the good times and the bad times. Those side chicks are taking what belongs to you because they know the key to his heart, just like you used to know but too busy with life to remember. Sometimes to respect him is all you need to make things right, then correct him after he is calm.

Husband, as a man, you hold the key to stop external influence on your home. Never walk out on your home because you think it is her fault, please build trust! When she is wrong, please let your means of correcting her be love, compassion and respect. Those side chicks maybe a temporary solution but for how long? Your home should always come first, should be your priority, the blessings that come with a good home and a happy wife is too much to lose because of temporary gratifications.

Esther became a Queen and all her enemies became a thing of the past because she had someone called Mordecai, she took counsel from. Do you have someone you take counsel from regarding your relationship (I mean Godly counsel)? The best way to see far is to stand on the shoulders of those ahead of you. When they advise based on God’s instruction please take to it, remember, Esther’s blessings were in Mordecai’s instructions to her.

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Remember, don’t get too familiar that you become disrespectful to your spouse in public or before your children, maids or friends. Don’t get used to him or her that you begin to take him or her for granted. Don’t ignore your spouse’s feelings, their need to express how they feel and to be loved. Happy home is an ongoing process, we never stop being committed, and we keep pressing till we grow old together.

Getting Too Familiar


Fundamental of an Healthy Marriage

Fundamental of an Healthy Marriage

Marriage is God sanctioned; it is an institution God initiated immediately after creating all that He created. God allowed marriage because it is the only institution capable of solving the complex society problems. If education was the solution, God would have raised Professors from the Garden of Eden, if it was politics, He would have raised politicians from inception, if it was religion, God would have raised Pastor and Imams from Eden but instead of all of these, God raised a family. Note this, if we all raise healthy and Godly families this world will be a better place for us all.

For us to raise a godly family, we must understand the role expected of us as a man or as a woman in marriage.

Genesis 1 vs 26: God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He Him; male and female created he them. I want us to at this point put up our thinking cap, God said he created He him, and also said He created them male and female. This means that it was not only man that was created at this point, a woman was also created. If we proceed a bit to Gen 2 vs 18, God says : And the Lord God said, “it is not good that man should be alone, I will make him an helper suitable for him(NIV). Looking at this, it could be interpreted that man that was created in Genesis 1 vs 26 was alone, but this is contrary to the word ” He created them male and female”. Genesis 2 vs 21: So the Lord cause the man to fall into a deep sleep; then took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place 22, the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man and brought her to the man.

Get this, in Gen 1vs 26, God created them male and female, but the female could not be seen physically because she was still inside the man (except God was lying in verse 26, but you and I know He is not man that He would lie). Her being inside of a man hindered her from fulfilling the purpose for which she was created, so in Gen 2vs 18 – 22, she was brought out of the man into a physical state and her assignment was to help the man in fulfilling destiny; not as a servant or second-class object but as an helper, contributor or partner; even though the area of help was not mentioned.

You agree with me that you can only seek help in your area of weakness and not in your area of strength, right? So He carefully said, “an help mate suitable for you“. Your own weakness may be in areas orderliness and He will give you a woman that is orderly, yours may be financial instability and He will provide you a woman that is financially stable to fulfill the assignment given to you. It is shallow mindedness, when some women say they can’t part with their money to finance their home. You as a man may be grace in the area of cooking, and you have a wife that is weak in that area, you will have to help out, because God won’t give you what you have, an helper will always come in the form of who you need to be complete.

When God gives you the rib of your side in form of a woman, He expects both of you to become one entity, with each one playing his or her own part in that entity and that is when the promise of favour from Him(God) comes to be.

Understand this, when the man and the woman become one, and go back to the original way it was before the woman was remove from the man (working in synergy as an entity), that is when God’s promises concerning marriage are made to manifest. It is like buying a new phone, the phone is always packed separately from the battery, the charger and the other accessories but you are expected to put the battery in the place designed for it by the manufacturer, in the phone to enjoyed the phone, so also is your wife, you need to place her where God has commanded you to place her (a place of love and honour) before you can enjoy her role in your life.

Women, your help to your husband is not limited to cooking and caring for the kids, as Bible says help comparable unto you, is help in the area of your strengths and his weaknesses. So also men.

God bless you Union.