It Is Perfectly Normal to Be Confused

At 24years I had so many things on my mind, some of my friends were lucky to have had life figured out before 25 but for me I wasn’t that lucky.

I had so many thoughts running through my head. It seems there was more I could do and all at the same time. I remember at a time I wanted to be a radio presenter, even though I read Economics, then I wanted to work for World Bank, I wanted to be a lecture and I also wanted to be a motivational speaker not forgetting I wanted to marry an Indian. All these left me so confused, they seemed mutually exclusive but then something in my head told me I had to be all at the same time.

I remember talking to a mentor then and you know what he told me, he said, “It Is Perfectly Normal to Be Confused at 24 but if I want to succeed I should sort my confusion before 30”

There are basically five (5) Stages of Life from what I have learned and experienced, and here is my breakdown

Age 0 to 18years you have no responsibilities and no real worries, life is sweetest at this time. I often advise folks within this age not to be in a hurry to grow up, as much as possible avoid doing adults’ stuffs. Savor this moment, you may think things are difficult and lots of people are trying to control you but trust me, this is the fun part. Another good news about this stage is, it is when the mistakes you make can be easily corrected with little gaps to fill, if the mistake is not fatal, that is death. So at this stage, please just stay safe!

Age 19 to 30years: at this point you are still trying to do life. I call it Testing waters. You are weighing options, testing your strength, will power, control, capabilities etc. This also applies to all areas of life including relationship. However, the earlier you are able to figure out yourself, define who you are, what you want and act on it, the sooner you are likely to succeed.

Note this, because you didn’t find your feet early enough doesn’t mean you won’t succeed neither does it mean that people who became successful before you would be more successful than you. The rule is “It is better late than never!” So you know what, take your time.


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Life Begins at 30! Gone are the days when life begins at 40, this is jet age and you know what, life really does not wait for anyone. If you have not found your bearing by 30, my friend it is okay if you press the panic button.

Seriously, it calls for prayers, self evaluation, change of approach, redefining what you believe and your whole thought process. Yes dear, press the panic button. Sorry, if it seems I am scaring you but this is the honest truth, the earlier you become forceful in your approach the better, at this stage. If doors won’t open, you might as well break them down. Do whatever it takes legally to change the game.

At age 50, you are already thinking of taking the backseat and watch what you have worked for grow in leaps and bounds. I call this the Time of Reflection, because now you want to look back at what you missed, did wrong or could have done better, though you can hardly make amends but you tend to want to teach it to others so they don’t fall into that same trap.

No matter how successful you get or otherwise, you always have things you could have done better. Some books called this stage “Moment of Regrets”, but I think the word regret is too strong. Definitely there would be regrets but also this would be the time to enjoy the proceeds of all your hard work and fulfill fantasies.

Finally at this point (60years upward), life moves from what you have done for yourself to what you have been able to do for others and that’s why most people at this age are no longer contented with making money, there is a new urge in them which is usually in form of seeking power or will to touch more lives. Some go into politics, seek chieftaincy titles and honorary titles while others become philanthropist and most without means to do the aforementioned tend to become life counselors, critic or preachers that most of you tend to run away from because they have that-man-talks-too-much syndrome.

So you can see It Is Perfectly Normal to Be Confused, it is perfectly normal to have too many ideas pulling you right, left and centre. In fact you would be influenced by what friends are doing and you would be tempted to try what is working for others but here is my true advise “you are different, you are a person of your own and only what you feel comfortable doing would work best for you, if you haven’t discovered that yet then just go for what emphasizes your strength, with either of this you can’t miss it“.


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It Is Perfectly Normal to Be Confused

A little Nicer

Being deserving of a thing is not measured by what you went through to get it but your understanding of what makes that thing precious; passion does that for people more than pain could ever do, build passion in people and not pain. – Selahsomeone

You don’t have to have all you want before you make impact in other people’s life; a smile, kind words, gentle touch, constructive criticism are few of the ways you can reach out. I know sometimes you just feel like letting out your frustrations but you don’t have to make a third (innocent person) party a victim of your outburst. Everyone has a burden, transferring yours to others would only cause a ripple effect.

Many say the world is crazy, the government is bad, our leaders are malicious but you know what I think? I think we are all a victim of our own ills. I have encountered so many difficulties in my life and to each of them has a face of someone who could have been nicer. (I hope I am making sense). A sadistic lecturer, a difficult boss, a backstabbing friend, a cheating date, an oppressing rich man/woman etc, all individuals that could have just been a little nicer but instead chose to be selfish, eccentric and egoistic like you and I often do.

It doesn’t hurt to make life comfortable for others in spite of going through a difficult time yourself. You shouldn’t delight in seeing others suffer. Because you had a rough start at your workplace or getting your degree or getting to stardom doesn’t mean you should inflict same on people coming up through you. If we go by “an eye for an eye” the whole world will soon go blind. Making it easy for people coming behind should be your topmost priority. Being deserving of a thing is not measured by what you went through to get it but your understanding of what makes that thing precious; passion does that for people more than pain could ever do, build passion in people and not pain.

You know that giggling dance you do on the inside when you read bad news about celebrities and affluent people, that’s not nice. No one deserves to be wished evil upon. You wonder why bad news sell more, well it is because deep down most of us are of the opinion that if we can’t be happy no one deserves to be happy. This has to change! We can all be a little nicer, celebrating the good in one another. Do you know that happiness can be passed on just as sadness is contagious? That is the ripple effect! Make someone happy and you will see how happy it will make you feel.

Even when you feel compelled to correct a wrong, be subtle about it, remember it doesn’t end there. Don’t ripple the waters of karma, correct with the right intentions not out of envy or vengeance. When you have to teach a lesson, let the blessings be obvious. Because you are on top today doesn’t make you a supreme being nor omnipresent, you are but a man, remember someone would fill that position in a short while… Be mindful of this and let it guide your everyday actions.

Be nicer even if it is just a little more than your usual. Go out of your way to do something for someone. Do you know the greatest feeling of satisfaction comes from knowing that you have delighted someone? Don’t argue just try it and you will experience something different.

Share this with someone you wish could be a little nicer!

A little Nicer

Posted in Author Omotayo, Digest, Motivational

5 Things Problems Bow To

5 Things Problems Bow To

Problems are part of living, in fact the general believe is that problem are like exams, if you are fully prepared it can’t keep you down for too long and if you surmount it, you get promoted to the next level in life but if not, many lesser problems comes to complicate issues. Problems are often not the end of life even though some may seem insurmountable but with a positive attitude and wonderful awareness, they move from being a stumbling block to being a stepping stone.

Every problem is a gift – without problems we would not grow. – Anthony Robbins

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There are 5 powerful instruments that one can use to combat problems, each is efficient in its own way but not absolute. Smart people have learned to combine as many as possible for maximum result. I like to share this with you and I hope you will be able to make your choice and use them to set yourself free.

5 powerful instruments (in no particular order)

1. Power: This simply put is your ability to influence or control things. This can be exhibited through strength, words, affluent, weapons, manipulations, influence or position. Power puts you over challenges associated with oppressions. When you are in a position of power, many people become your friends or allies and all struggling to favour you just to be in your good books. Problems that come your way easily give way when you throw your weight around, little wonder people in position of power hold on to it like it is tied to their life.

2. Pounds: This is the unit of measure; money, gold, resources, wealth and possessions. Money answers to almost all problems, especially when you have it in excess and know how to use it. Some say money cannot buy happiness and a wise man replied, “they don’t know where to shop”. When you have enough resources, your problems move from not having enough to having too much. People who would have constituted problems struggle to be your friends. Money changes how we view and conceive things, wealth steps in and comfort becomes insatiable, that’s why it is bad not to have but worse to have had but lost it.

3. Prayers: This is seeking higher powers to intervene on one’s behalf. Prayers are pleas to high authorities; God, people in high places, higher understanding or self consciousness. Prayers are meant to stimulate miracles, a change that maybe unmerited or favour that goes beyond the ordinary. Problem bows to prayers, evidences abound even though, there always seem to be a logical explanation but so also some are beyond comprehension.

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4. Persistence: When you continue in a path you become a specialist on that path, you become an authority (power), and when you speak people will listen (influence). Problem has a way of giving way to people who won’t quit. Persistence has been used by many dream builders to make their dreams come true. Persistence teaches them to make better decisions, take calculated risk, turn bad situations to their advantage and in some cases just hang in their till the bad wind blows off.

5. Passion: This include sentimental appeals that usual finds common ground with quite a number of people, such as love, religion, ethnic sentiments, crusade, common hatred and other sentimental appeals. Through passion power; control and influence is handed over people, putting them above some problems. Passion is also strong enough to bring wealth and create affluent.

Problems are meant to take us to the next level and this can only be achieved when we overcome and move ahead.

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It is wise to direct your anger towards problems – not people; to focus your energies on answers – not excuses. – William Arthur Ward