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The Cracked Pot (We Are Imperfect)

He got up from his cot, and went to lay alongside his grandfather. Dev made way for him, but did not speak.

He silently nuzzled into his grandfather, feeling the familiar loving warmth from the old man.

“I am flawed,” he whispered silently, his body shaking with the force of emotion now breaking loose.

Tears rolled off his cheeks and were soaked up hungrily by his grandfather’s cotton shirt.

Love cleanses, Dev knew, and the boy had to be taught a lesson to last him a lifetime.

Catharsis is never painless. But the earlier the treatment could be administered, the earlier the recovery could begin.

When the boy’s violently racking body had finally settled down into infrequent spasms, Dev turned around towards him.

His warm compassionate hand reached across to smooth his grandson’s hair.

“A water bearer,” he said, “had two large pots. Each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck, as he walked a long walk from the stream to his house daily.”

“One of the pots had a crack in it. So, each day the cracked pot arrived home only half full. The other pot was perfect, and always delivered a full portion of water.”

“For a very long time, this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house.”

“Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfections, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been designed to do.”

“After years of shame, and guilt, and what it perceived to be a bitter failure, the cracked pot finally mustered the courage to confess his shortcomings to the water bearer.”

“I am ashamed of myself, it said, and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half my load because a crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”

“Did you notice,” the bearer replied, “that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the perfect pot’s side?”

“I have always known about your flaw. So, I planted flower seeds on your side of the path. And every day, while we walked back to the house from the stream, you’ve watered them for me.”

“For years, I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my home. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace my house!”

“The moral of the story is that we all have our faults. Nobody is perfect! Each of us has our own unique flaws. We’re all cracked pots, but can still be useful in our own way.”

“Succeeding despite our imperfections leads to a fulfilled life. This is what can bring out greatness in us. For our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

“It’s the cracks, the faults, the flaws we all have, that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. Yep, we’ve just got to take each person for who they are, and look for the good in them.”

“Strength lies in weakness?” Rosh was trying to understand. “You’re not just giving hope to a loser to make him feel good about himself?”

“No,” answered Dev, “a good builder works with all kinds of materials. Wood and metal have different strengths and weaknesses. Clay and cement are different. Yet, there is a place for all of them when one is creating a home.”

“Everything serves a purpose. Even our weaknesses and imperfections. What one can do, the other can’t. So, a good tradesman doesn’t blame his tools. He just learns to make the best use of whatever he’s got.”

‘Indeed!’ thought Rosh, as he contemplated the story. ‘Without the water-bearer’s compassion, his observation of the pot’s weakness, and without his putting it to good use, he wouldn’t be collecting flowers at all!’

‘But if he hadn’t had the foresight and intelligence to plant flower seeds on the path, the cracked pot would have still watered something. What? Weeds, perhaps?’

‘These could still have benefitted insects and our herbivore friends. So, weakness could still turn out to be strength really. Blessings to all of us crackpots! But how do I learn to see things that way?’

‘Would I rather be a perfect pot,’ Rosh asked himself, unaware that his grandfather beside him was already fast asleep and snoring heavily, ‘or a cracked pot who strives to become useful?’

‘Neither!’ he concluded. ‘The pots are what they are. They don’t have a choice in the matter. I am who I am – perfect or flawed – and I have no choice in the matter of my being.’

‘But I can still choose to become. I would like to become the water bearer, the one who knew how to make even a cracked pot lead a full, useful life.’

‘A compassionate, caring person. Smart! Not wasting anything. Not my talents, not my imperfections. Not even a drop of water!”’

Written by Rajeev Wadhwa

The Cracked Pot (We Are Imperfect)

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Inspirational Stories Vol 1

We all need a bit of motivation every now and then, and what better way to assure us that ‘nothing is impossible’ than sharing stories of people who had made the ‘impossible possible’. People who thought they had seen the end only for a new morning to show up in their wake, just to remind you and I that no matter how tough times are, we can scale through.

There are twelve real life, everyday, inspirational stories in this eBook, each with thought provoking lessons to build a better you. Please read and share with your loved ones and together we can build a better us.

Click link below to download

Selahsomeone Inspirational Stories

Interview With a Player Part 3

Interview With a Player Part 3

Previous Episode

This is my interview with a new friend of mine, he used to be a player, a heartbreaker and a chronic womanizer. He agreed to share some of his experiences with me and I hope we can all learn from them as well as from the few notes I took during the interview. You are welcome to the series. 

Selahsomeone: Welcome back readers, let’s learn as Mr. A continues with his story. So Mr. A, what happened in the morning?

Mr. A: Okay, so I woke up to realized neither of the two sisters came to bed, I was a bit worried, not just because I thought I had lost my meal ticket but because I thought I had lost two people who truly cared about me. I thought I had waited till it was morning, though I couldn’t sleep again, in my head I was replaying all that had happened. Then I heard movements in the sitting room, I jumped off the bed, lo and behold, miss F on the couch and miss B clearing the plates in the kitchen. I was so relieved, my play acting worked, maybe not totally but ‘they are still here’. I was so happy.

Selahsomeone: Wow! Miss F must have truly loved you to have stayed.

Love can be so many things; tolerating, forgiving, understanding, protecting, caring, believing, trusting and so on but love is not foolish. Your partner may be so loving that you want to mistake him or her a fool but believe me, when you take what you have for granted, with time it becomes what you had!

Mr. A: Yes, she did and I was able to keep her till we were done with polytechnic. Miss B left that weekend but we kept in touch via letters (no mobile phones then). Everything went smooth afterwards, I was able to process miss F’s admission to same  university as myself, as direct entry students, and our relationship continued until…

Selahsomeone: (cuts in) If I get you right, you still continued with miss B in spite of everything that happened, don’t you think that’s a bit to the extreme?

Mr. A: A part of me loved miss B, I maybe a player of some sort but somehow, I had this soft spot for miss B and maybe because of her innocence, i just could not leave her. Anyway, when we got to the university things changed. For being the best student at the polytechnic, my dad (things changed for him too, we had lots of money to throw around) gave me a car and my allowance moved from #500/month to #10000/month. I no longer needed anyone as my meal ticket, my dependence on miss F disappeared. She noticed this and we began to have lots of issues. She became obsessive, insecured and bittered; she practically saw faults in everything I did and how I related with other ladies. I saw another side to her but in spite of everything, one thing remained constant, she loved me and was not ready to let me go. 

Selahsomeone: Change comes with its own challenges. Please continue!

There is a thin line between love and obsession. Love lets go and somehow it comes back but obsession holds on tight and somehow it eventually squeezes life out of the relationship. Are you obsessed or in love?

Mr. A: Miss B came visiting again (3years since I last saw her), now she was older and a lot bolder. When she came the sister, Miss F, insisted they both stay at her place but miss B insisted, she came to see me and was going to stay at my place.
Okay a little description of the arrangement now, miss F had a place of her own while I also had a place of my own, both single rooms but different houses (about 5km apart). Miss F usually stays at my place weekdays and goes back to her place on weekends. So when miss B insisted she was staying with me, the sister too had to come stay with me that weekend. Three of us in one room, same bed, I sleep in the middle flanked by both sisters. Like I said, miss B was a lot bolder now and would insist on putting her head my chest even with the sister beside us. At first miss F was not comfortable with it but I was able to calm her down and assured her it was nothing, after all, she was like a sister to me.
First thing Monday morning, Miss B left for Lagos and back to her school. Life continued with Miss F till the unexpected happened; somewhere along the line she got pregnant. It was unexpected, we thought we were always careful, using the safe period calculations, withdrawal method because I wouldn’t use sheaths, then salt water the morning after just in case; but somehow it happened. We delibrated about it, thought of the consequences, eventually we opted for d&c.

Selahsomeone: D&C? As in abortion? That’s to the extreme! You guys really went too far. Weren’t you scared something bad might happen? Okay, go on *taking notes*

Actions come with consequences; we want to act yet we don’t want the consequence. Life doesn’t swing that way; ask yourself, “am I prepared for what this might bring upon me?”. Trust me friend, when the chips are down, the owner of the chips goes down with it!

Mr.A. At the clinic, the doctor insisted I should stay while he performed the operation. I had never seen someone in that much pain before, she tried to stay strong but she couldn’t hold back her tears, the blood was so much, I felt faint and I just went blank. When I gained consciousness, I found myself on the hospital bed, drip hung by my side, that was when I realized, I actually passed out. She was up already, seated by my side. In spite of all the pains she just experienced, she still managed to sit by my side with love written all over her face, I felt so sorry for her, for the pain I had caused her and for passing out when she needed me most. 

Selahsomeone: *Sigh* What can I say!?! Please continue.
Mr. A: After the hospital incident, we became enstranged, she became a bit withdrawn and more aggressive, till the last straw that broke the camel’s back.
Well it happened in a strange way. I had been keeping all miss B’s letters under my bed, this faithful day miss F came around and insisted she wanted to sleepover (after the pregnancy mishap, we decided we should stay apart, even on weekdays). I was invited to Law dinner (dinner and all night party) scheduled for that same night and I didn’t want to take her, so I don’t miss out on the fun, hence lied to her that the invite I got was just for one person. Without much hassle, she agreed to stay back in my house alone.
Following morning when I returned home (till today I wished I had taken her) I found my room had been turned upsidedown; miss B’s letters were scattered on my bed, my TV,video and other moveables thrashed, instantly I knew the bubble is bursted and I had lost her. Till today we have not spoken of what happened. It all ended that day; though being in the same class and because we shared same friends, we tried to maintain friendly disposition and when people tried to ask questions, we do our best to avoid giving any tangible answers.

Selahsomeone: Ugh! You lost her eventually. That was expected. You can’t eat your cake and have it, so also, lie can only sustain a relationship for a while, truth always have its way in the end. Hope that serves as lesson for you and changed you.

Mr. A: Yes, I did my best to change but then life had other ideas. In less than 2 months i started dating another lady, miss T (I met her at the law dinner, also happened to be in my class). Honestly, I believed I had learned from my relationship with miss F, I stopped writing miss B and I was so sure nothing could come between me and miss T. Miss T was that social dream girl; parties, clubbing, raves and what have you. We never missed an event together, though some I insisted we won’t attend but people came to tell me she attended without me. I wasn’t ready for any gossip to spoil the relationship, so I just ignored all the hearsays.
I met almost all her family members, and she used to take me to her uncle’s workplace (the bank). The man was very accommodating, he gave us money from time to time and advice too. I was really down with miss T, she knew how to turn the heat on; she was pretty good and made sure no unwanted aftermaths like pregnancy. However, on this faithful day, I dropped my car at the mechanics and since miss T’s  place was a stroll away from my mechanic’s place, I decided to breeze in. I got to her place, the brothers were playing soccer outside, they were too engrossed to notice me and so I just went straight inside. What I saw was blinding; miss T and the supposed uncle smooching and moaning on her bed. I was confused, i couldn’t process what was happening but when it eventually dawned on me, I almost ran mad!

Selahsomeone: *laughing* sorry I can’t help it. I know it must have really pained you but that’s like God’s payback. How fast the table turns, so how did you handle it.

An adeage says, “when an evil man thinks he is done with his last evil deed, somehow repercussion starts looking for him”. Life is simple but in a complex way, the past always catches up, no matter how fast we think we can run.

Mr. A: I left for my place, not crying but obviously very sober. This was early 2004, we had mobile phones then, so she called but I didn’t pick. Next, her brothers came to my house, forgot to tell you, she had these three hefty guys for brothers and they were cultists, they came around and beat the fear of God into me and then warned me that if I ever tried to leave her again, I would be dead.
So Selahsomeone, I had to stay in the relationship. She didn’t even bother to apologize neither did she stop seeing the said uncle. At this point, I became a slave in the relationship. I couldn’t leave neither could I stay. One day she was around when miss B called (miss B somehow got my number and seriously I was so pleased to hear from her after a long while), miss T forcefully collected the phone from me, on hearing a lady’s voice at the other end, she started cursing. She ended the call and I can’t forget what happened afterwards, she gave me a destiny resetting slap (I definitely saw billions of stars with colours IPhone7 won’t be able to place) then she said “imagine that idiot telling me, you don’t know me, I took him from my sister and I don’t think I am going to give him up for you. Who is she? Talk before I sound you again?” Selahsomeone, good slap activates the brain, every word she said stuck but then I wasn’t going to let it go just like that at the same time, I wasn’t ready to die at the hands of her brothers…

To be continued

Interview With a Player Part 2

Interview With a Player Part 2

This is my interview with a new friend of mine, he used to be a player, a heartbreaker and a chronic womanizer. He agreed to share some of his experiences with me and I hope we can all learn from them as well as from the few notes I took during the interview. You are welcome to the series. 

Previously on interview with a player

Selahsomeone: Welcome back readers, let’s learn as Mr. A continues with his story.

Selahsomeone: So Mr. A, you were dating two sisters under same roof and you were comfortable?

Mr. A: I wasn’t comfortable, no! far from that but I felt like I had all I had ever wanted. Everything was kind of going in my favour. A girlfriend that provided basic necessities (food, money and sex), the little sister that gave love a new meaning to me and I was really doing good at school, I was best in my class at the time. That was like everything a guy could pray for at that level but like I said when I thought it could only get better something bad happened.

Sometimes bad things bring the best comfort, but even with the comfort, it still doesn’t make them right. And when we lose ourselves in the bad, we should be aware that there will always be consequences!

Selahsomeone: I doubt these were answered prayers but anyway, what bad happened?

Mr. A: While Growing up, being the only child of my parents, there were some habits I picked up and one of them was keeping a diary. Then I needed to share my thoughts with someone but because I had no one close enough, I shared them with my diary. So on this faithful day, I went to play snookers with my friends, so I left Miss F and Miss B at home. It was always a nice time with the guys, you learn new tricks, compare notes and share experiences. So often I get so involved that I lose track of time.
So on this day, I came back home late, around 8pm to find Miss F packing her stuffs while Miss B stood there crying. I wanted to ask what the issue was but what I saw shut my mouth. There laid my diary on the desk in the sitting room. I remembered, keeping my diary under the bed, where I was so sure no one would check. But here it was, somehow, Miss F found it and read everything. When I say everything; I mean everything… chasing Miss K, game plan that led me to Miss F, the secret affair with Miss K and my love declaration for Miss B.

Selahsomeone: Wow! This is not funny. That’s why the saying goes, “a thief won’t get lucky every time“.  So what did you do?

Mr. A: As a player, I knew I had to find my way around the scandal and the first thing is to make sure she doesn’t leave. When you allow issue to get out of sight, it often ends up getting out of hands. So I locked the door, pulled her into the bedroom, leaving the sister in the sitting room, then conjured a fool proof scope.

Selahsomeone: By ‘scope’, do you mean lie? 

The trending thing nowadays is to give bad things good names to make us feel less guilty but deep down we have to know it is what it is and even a good name and cool emoji will not change what it is. If it is not right then it is bad!

Mr. A: Well, I would not want to go into the difference between scopes and lies now but then I had to get out the current mess and I had to do it really fast.
As soon as we got inside, I went on my kneels, started crying and began to talk at the same time, so I started my scope, ” Miss F, it is true I wanted Miss K at first but since I set my eyes on you, everything changed for me. You are my life, the reason I think I can beat the odds (appealed to feelings). I know you have read my diary but see every thing you read in my diary were all fantasies, make believes, just a story I write to catch fun. You know I could never share my love for you, not with someone like Miss K, you are better than she could ever be and we both know (playing on her ego). Then Miss B is just like a sister to me, yes I love her like I would love my own sister, that’s what I meant by “I love Miss B” that you read in my diary (word semantics). Believe me Miss F, you are all that matter to me”.
I studied her response, she didn’t utter a word but she was a bit calm now. I was hoping for a much better response though but that she was calm was a step in the right direction. I knew I needed to play a trump card, a kind of reverse psychology should do the trick. So I stood up, looked at her and said, “but you should have trusted me, but then I don’t blame you, it is just because you know I depend on you for everything. Just know this is not fair!” I made sure she saw the tears in my eyes then I went straight to bed. I was 90% sure, I had won her back and I hoped the night will do the remaining 10% for me. So pleased with myself, I slept off.

Selahsomeone: This is unbelievable, you mean you played your way out of that much trouble. Wait! Do these ladies stay in your house and share same room?

Mr. A:  We stayed together at my place, although Miss F had her own place and she only went there when her parents were coming to check on her. Kind of student live-in lovers. And we shared same bed; I sleep in the middle of the two sisters actually.

We make some bad decisions out of love often because we leave our head out of the decision making process. It takes the heart to love but without the head having things in the right perspective, silly decisions can’t be avoided. Giving someone your all can’t make them love you more if they don’t love you before, there can’t be more if there was none in the first place!

Selahsomeone: So what happened the next morning? Did she believe you? Did she stay?

Mr. A: I was 90% sure my scope worked. I slept off only to wake up around 5am, none of the girls were beside me. My heart skipped, this can’t be happening to me.Remember, I told you I came from a struggling home and as at then my entire allowance was about N500 which barely covered my transport. My feeding, spending and provisions were covered by Miss F. In fairness, she gave me all but then even though the way to a man’s heart is his stomach, if the heart is occupied already, feeding him can only get the woman used, and worse if the man has no heart.
I am not trying to exonerate myself or make reasons for what I did but then I also believe women give themselves too much credit. They always have the believe that they can change men, and believe me, with the life I had lived, I can boldly say only God can change man.

Selahsomeone: I agree with you on that. People change only when they are convinced they have to change and not because other people asked them to change. I agree it is only God that can change man. Back to your story, guess she left after you slept?

Mr. A: That was my thought when I woke up but then playing the crying card had never failed a player before or so I thought…

To be continued.

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