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Please Don’t Judge Me Wrong

I have my own ways, however they may not be what you are used to but so far they have worked for me. I may not be where you think I should be but trust me, I am not where I used to be. I make my choices and I have learned to live by their consequences. I want to improve but on my own terms, I want to see my dreams come to life but at my own time. Sorry if I come to you as a disappointment but soon you will give testimonies of how you met me.

My methods are not conventional, I don’t use the orthodox approach, being a conformist is not who I am, I may come to you as being lazy but I still get the job done. I may not yield to rules or bind my actions to general principles but I live by my codes. Don’t judge me based on your ideals, you are not the standard I live by. Your truth may not be my truth because we have different facts about living. You and I have a different path to take and a different part to play, so because something works for you doesn’t make it a must for me. I am me!

Don’t judge my faith, my passion, my relationship or my lifestyle they are all part of me, my experience and the way I have come to terms with life. If you truly love me, lead by example and if I am convinced I might follow you. I am not inferior because of the colour of my skin, my background or my level of education, they are no limits to what I can become and I have embraced that fact, so just you know, I have big dreams too.

Please don’t judge me because I don’t measure up to what you expect, I am still growing and I believe I still have enough time to be who I am destined to be. I have my dreams, I have set my goals, I know my mission, they may not be as big as you might have imagined them but this works for me. They will grow as I grow, they will become bigger as I nurture them and maybe you would come to learn a few things too about starting small.

I love who I am, don’t try to change me, don’t measure me on your own scale of perfection. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be measured but against who I was yesterday and who I can become tomorrow. Just as I have accepted you for who you are, do same for me. Watch me take shape, I will stumble but I will pick myself up, I may have my heart shattered but be sure I will pick up the pieces and move on.

I enjoy it when you share your thoughts with me, I learn and I adjust some things about me but when you pass judgement, the lessons become lost in the resentment. I am like the proverbial square peg in the round hole, I may not fit in but I am indispensable, please don’t judge me wrong.

Please Don’t Judge Me Wrong

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Embrace Who You Are

Sometimes, however, there’s no one around to give you that hug you need. When you’re having a bad day, experiencing some sort of pain, or simply craving a bit of affection, why not give some love to yourself? … Mimic the pressure that you feel when you get a reassuring bear hug.

There is so much to you than meets the eye. True, you may not have figured out all about yourself but you can still build on the little you know. Don’t let people shut you down just because they don’t like the way you speak or your kind of ideas. Don’t let people put you down because you are not what they expect. Don’t shrink just because you want to make someone feel comfortable around you. Don’t become someone else because someone close does not like your kind of person. It is who you are, embrace it and make the best of it.

You have to stop apologizing for who you are. You can’t keep denying what your passions are, no matter who is misunderstanding what matters to you. You should be your own number one fan, no one should love you more than you love yourself. Your line of thoughts may seem very odd, don’t be shy to stand by what you think is real, be proud of your views. You may not have as much insights as others do but that doesn’t mean you are not capable of something more meaningful. There is a You in there, embrace it.

You can learn, learning is not beyond you. You can improve on your current self that is the idea of living but never let anyone take away your values and what you believes. These are your identity, fight to keep them, they are who you are, protect them with your life. You are special never let anyone tell you otherwise, even when people fail to see why, never doubt yourself. They will surely come around, each one bearing gifts when you fully form.

Photo Credit: Hugging Myself
by escaped-emotions

Love yourself, no one will do that right for you. Don’t let your head down less others will look down on you. Humility is good but do it with pride, self-belief, self-love, good self-esteem and unshaken desire to excel in all things. You are your own greatest ally, cast away all doubts and trust your instincts, listen to your heart and pay close attention to your mood. They are all part of your making, even when your eyes fail to see they will keep you safe and on track.

Make it all about you, when you learn to love yourself as you should, loving others won’t be a problem. This will impact on your friendship and relationship; it takes a complete you to complement another. You have got so much within you; talent, gift, wisdom, thoughts, passion… loving yourself is all you need to amplify all these. Don’t fail the You inside, embrace who you are and watch life get less complicated.

Embrace Who You Are

Are You Sure of What You Are Doing?

Are You Sure of What You Are Doing?
Are you sure of what you are doing? This is a striking question that I am sure we must have asked ourselves at one time or the other. The truth is, no matter what answer we must have arrived at, we cannot say for certainty that we are 100% sure. Let’s break it down like this, the word ‘sure’ here means that we have an accurate information of what we are doing and what the outcome will be. Except one can see into the future, you will agree with me that no one is certain of what tomorrow holds. Having understood the question, I will like to review the 3 possible answers and their implications.

1. Yes I am sure
If you are sure of what you are doing, then to you I say, ‘congratulations’, at least this means you have an idea of what is required of you and the likely outcomes. You have direction, goals and the desire to achieve them but you have to know this, even though you think you know doesn’t mean it will turn out just fine, at the first time of asking. There are variables we can’t really account for, some call it life but I call it tests. They will come, they will try to make nonsense of what you think you know but  if you are steadfast, eager to learn and flexible in approach, you will find a way to reach your goal.

2. No I am not sure
If you are not sure of what you are doing, then I say, ‘well-done’, at least this means you have given a thought to doing something meaningful with your life. Not sure doesn’t mean you do not have dreams and goals, it only means you have not yet prioritize your goals and you are yet to understand what works best for you. But here is the good news, most laudable personalities don’t figure out who they are quite on time, when you have numerous talents at par, it is often hard to place your hand on which one to follow. I can assure you, you will figure out very soon which dream to follow, don’t be shy to try out options, explore as many opportunities as possible, read wide, open your mind and push your limits. No matter what the odds may say, “don’t give up on yourself”.

3. I am not even doing anything
If you are not even doing anything, then to you I say, “it is time to hit the road”. It is never too late to make something out of your life, no matter how old or how young you are, records show you can still make things happen. It may seem a long walk ahead but by all means it a journey worth it. Legacies, ambitions and dynasties were not built in a day, hard work, consistency and passion was what many had to start with and God knows you have that and so much more. So if I were you, I will take notes, I will invest in self development and most of all I will believe in myself. You can make things happen but you have to be willing to, after all Will creates Way.

Now back to the question, whatever your answer is/was, know that it is more of a journey than a destination. You will have to keep reinventing yourself to stay true to your dreams. As long as there is life, there would always be reasons to stay relevant. It is your story, you are the star, you are the writer and you are the director…you can always make the end you desire!

The Big Question; “WHO ARE YOU?”

The Big Question; “WHO ARE YOU?”

When I was much younger I never liked myself. I really wished Omotola Jalade was my mother, I felt if she was my mother then I would have been so beautiful and popular.  My legs were not straight, they were actually curved (bow-shaped) which made my classmates especially the boys tease me, they called me “open bracket close bracket“. Each time I was teased, I cried and hated myself more and sometimes wondered why God made me like that. I wished I was somebody else, I knew I had potentials in me but I was scared to use them. I became self conscious, timid and shy, I lost my self confidence. I became defined by what my classmates called me, I was lost in the shadow of abuse and people’s opinion of me. I was lost because I don’t know, who I was.

Like me when I was younger, many of us have lived our lives in the shadows of friends and allowed people to define us that we don’t really know who we are. Let me ask you the big question; Who Are You? ….take few minutes to think about this.

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I’m not just asking you what your name is or who your father is, I’m asking who you really are on the inside? People can say anything they want to say about you but you have to decide what you choose to believe and the name you choose to answer to.

You need to start seeing yourself the way God sees you. When you are seeing pains He is seeing gain. When it seems like a test, God is preparing you for your testimony. When you think you are a failure, God is hoping that you realize that to succeed you must have failed, except if you have never tried something new. When you see hurdles, God sees an avenue to cuddle you and remind you, He is forever faithful. God is too busy to create a nobody, so, if He has invested that much in you then you are not stupid or dumb, You are special my friend. All you need to do is ask Him to help you see yourself the way He sees you. There is the good side of every situation that is what God sees and till you learn to see the good inside you, it would be hard to leave the shadow and step into your light.

You are not everybody. You are different so don’t allow people turn you into something you are not. Don’t lose your uniqueness because of some silly comparisons. It is time to stand up and find out the real you. Don’t settle for less when you can do more. Don’t allow people, situations and even trials to define you. Find your worth so that you don’t live in the shadows of other people.

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There is a poem that changed me and I like to share it with you:

“Our Greatest fear”

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God
Your playing small does not serve the world
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone
And as we let our own light shine
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others”

By Marianne Williamson

You don’t have to be diamond to be special , but If you don’t believe in yourself nobody will. If you don’t see yourself as a champion and a success you are automatically giving people permission to see you as a failure. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you need to see an achiever and a winner!

You are beautiful, you are smart, you are intelligent, you are the best of your kind, you are a champion, and you are talented and blessed with skills, make them count. There is a lot in you that needs to be discovered, dig deep,  but make it fast because the world is waiting to hear you!!!

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I believe in you.
Great success awaits you.
God bless you!

Omodara Oluwabunmi Onome