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A little Nicer

Being deserving of a thing is not measured by what you went through to get it but your understanding of what makes that thing precious; passion does that for people more than pain could ever do, build passion in people and not pain. – Selahsomeone

You don’t have to have all you want before you make impact in other people’s life; a smile, kind words, gentle touch, constructive criticism are few of the ways you can reach out. I know sometimes you just feel like letting out your frustrations but you don’t have to make a third (innocent person) party a victim of your outburst. Everyone has a burden, transferring yours to others would only cause a ripple effect.

Many say the world is crazy, the government is bad, our leaders are malicious but you know what I think? I think we are all a victim of our own ills. I have encountered so many difficulties in my life and to each of them has a face of someone who could have been nicer. (I hope I am making sense). A sadistic lecturer, a difficult boss, a backstabbing friend, a cheating date, an oppressing rich man/woman etc, all individuals that could have just been a little nicer but instead chose to be selfish, eccentric and egoistic like you and I often do.

It doesn’t hurt to make life comfortable for others in spite of going through a difficult time yourself. You shouldn’t delight in seeing others suffer. Because you had a rough start at your workplace or getting your degree or getting to stardom doesn’t mean you should inflict same on people coming up through you. If we go by “an eye for an eye” the whole world will soon go blind. Making it easy for people coming behind should be your topmost priority. Being deserving of a thing is not measured by what you went through to get it but your understanding of what makes that thing precious; passion does that for people more than pain could ever do, build passion in people and not pain.

You know that giggling dance you do on the inside when you read bad news about celebrities and affluent people, that’s not nice. No one deserves to be wished evil upon. You wonder why bad news sell more, well it is because deep down most of us are of the opinion that if we can’t be happy no one deserves to be happy. This has to change! We can all be a little nicer, celebrating the good in one another. Do you know that happiness can be passed on just as sadness is contagious? That is the ripple effect! Make someone happy and you will see how happy it will make you feel.

Even when you feel compelled to correct a wrong, be subtle about it, remember it doesn’t end there. Don’t ripple the waters of karma, correct with the right intentions not out of envy or vengeance. When you have to teach a lesson, let the blessings be obvious. Because you are on top today doesn’t make you a supreme being nor omnipresent, you are but a man, remember someone would fill that position in a short while… Be mindful of this and let it guide your everyday actions.

Be nicer even if it is just a little more than your usual. Go out of your way to do something for someone. Do you know the greatest feeling of satisfaction comes from knowing that you have delighted someone? Don’t argue just try it and you will experience something different.

Share this with someone you wish could be a little nicer!

A little Nicer

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Interview With A Player Part 1

Interview With A Player Part 1

This is my interview with a new friend of mine, he used to be a player, a heartbreaker and a chronic womanizer. He agreed to share some of his experiences with me and I hope we can all learn from them as well as from the few notes I took during the interview. You are welcome to the series.

Selahsomeone: Kindly introduce yourself and why you are here.

Mr. A: Firstly, let me say I am not proud of these stories, at the time all these happened, I was young and foolish. My name is Mr. A and I am bound to share my story, so that ladies will learn to be smarter and guys will learn that for every action there will always be consequence(s). All names will be restricted to first letters, to protect identity. Please read my story as I share with Selahsomeone. Thanks!

Selahsomeone: I am sure no one is born to hurt others, so how did it all start?

Mr. A: You are right Selah. I wasn’t always a player or heartbreaker. I had a rough childhood, molested by adult females while growing up and some lessons you learn the hard way and such is this, and how I became insatiable for lust, women and revenge.

We all love to find excuses to absorb us of the blames but the truth is whatever may have happened before or after are no sufficient reasons to inflict pain on others. Whatever we have done, we are responsible!

Selahsomeone: You know what you went through is not an excuse to put others through pain and heartbreaks? So tell us how it all started.

Mr.A: It all started when I was in the polytechnic. It was my first year and there was this pretty lady (Miss K); it was like I have never seen such beauty before, like a lady out of a bollywood movie. Smart, beautiful and charming at the same time but she also happened to be the daughter of the Rector of the polytechnic; so a bit out of my league. I did everything I could to get her attention, I got it alright but she only wanted me as a friend, unfortunately i wanted more.
A bit about me; I came from a struggling home, I am not ugly but at that age, zits were all you could see on my face (my mother said it was just a phase at the time). So there was this time I went to Miss K’s class to pester her as usual and see if I could score some points (I have been occasionally left standing outside her house before now, so I changed the tactics to visiting her in class) but well, it didn’t go as I hoped. I remember those words like it was yesterday, she said, “I guess you don’t have something good to do with your life than to be chasing girls everywhere, someone needs to tell your parents they are wasting their money”.

Selahsomeone:  That must have hurt you so much, for you to still remember the exact words. How long ago was that?

Mr. A: 1998…you can do the maths. And yes it was painful, words from someone you actually care about has a way of sinking deep and  again those words made me look so stupid, not just because of those words but people around who heard her. That was humiliating! Well, I left her class in shame and the only thing on my mind was getting back at her till she sees that I truly love her. 

Our words are so precious, even though we can say, ‘I take it back’, we can never take back how we made the other person feel. If it is not a compliment or an encouragement, it is better swallowed!

Selahsomeone: So how did you deal with it and what has that got to do with you becoming a player?

Mr. A: So I came up with this plan, I know the best way to make a girl you love jealous is to show more care to someone else around her, so I started giving more attention to her cousin (Miss F), who happened to be in same class with me. At first, Miss K ignored the whole plot, so I intensified the care but unfortunately when she realized the attention was shifting away from her and was now trying to play nice with me, Miss F had already fallen in love with me and asked me out.

Selahsomeone: Wow! Miss F asked you out?!? Didn’t she know you had already asked her cousin, Miss K, out?

Mr. A: To both questions, Yes she did! I couldn’t say no because that would hurt her feelings and I couldn’t tell her getting close to her was just to spite Miss K, who I was actually truly in love with. So I kept the acting on, I was dating Miss F officially, while my heart was with Miss K, who by now was very jealous of Miss F and was now trying everything possible to get my attention. I didn’t want to lose the person I truly love, so I and Miss K started a secret love affair and that was how I started dating two ‘sisters’.

It is one thing to fool one person, it is another to fool yourself but when you start believing you are fooling everyone else but yourself, then somewhere along the line, you have lost all sense of reality because in the end when reality comes knocking, you will realize you have been the fool all along.

Selahsomeone: Two sisters? what were you thinking? That’s a taboo you know?

Mr. A: Yes I know but it was a game plan just that it went awkward. Anyways, things eventually got better to save my secret. Miss K, got admission into university, so she had to leave us at the polytechnic. I had to face Miss F, even though I still find time to send letters to Miss K. When Miss K left, it was like I lost the most important person to me. On one weekend, Miss F showed up with another of their sister (miss B), apparently she came to rewrite her seconday school cert exams, she was a split image of Miss K and Miss F, she took all their positives; just like having the two of them all rolled up into one. The moment our eyes met, it was like love at first sight. That was how I started having secret affair with Miss B. She was good at keeping secrets just like Miss K, even though she was just 18years, she understood how I felt about…

Selahsomeone: Sorry to cut in… you are now practically dating three sisters? Taboo no longer qualifies this, not that i am judging you but didn’t you feel any guilt at the time? Hope the relationships were not sensual?

Mr. A: Yes I was dating three sisters but I didn’t have sex with Miss B at the time however both Miss K and Miss F lost their virginity to me. I just felt Miss B was all I have been waiting for. I felt guilty but I saw it as fun at the same time, like I said I was young and foolish. My relationship with Miss K was strained by distance as school became tougher I stopped writing letters and unfortunately there were no mobile phones then. I, Miss F and Miss B practically lived in the same house and it was like i was eating my cake and having it at the same time. But then about the time I thought the fun was just getting started something very bad happened…

To be continued!

Next on interview with a player

My Trevo™ Experience

My Trevo™ Experience

“There is greatness in your inside.”

If you have attended any of the Trevo “Business meeting” you would understand the concept of my opening sentence. I share this belief because I strongly believe that everyone is special in his/her own way, of course our being special also means that we are not only unique but we have specialties. A bird can’t do well in the sea neither can a fish flourish on a tree, that’s the concept of uniqueness and speciality.

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Like everyone, I was curious to see what the “Business meeting” was all about plus I was on leave in Akure City, so I guess going out wouldn’t hurt. Got an invitation on request from an amiable lady Bamidele Olubunmi . Considering my usual reservations when it comes to online marketing, networking and referral schemes, as they call it “open mind business”, (Chisom Henry Skillz can attest to this), when I found out this was another of such, I was basically disappointed. However, seeing the excitement in the atmosphere, the enthusiasm exhibited by the teenagers and youth in the hall, I begin to see that after all said and done,  there is a future for my country. Hope that lies in the eyes of these teens that still believe that with hard work, determination and diligence, they can reach the skies held me spell bound.

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I understand how get rich-quick campaign can generate so many disciples but this that I saw was genuine believe. Some of the future leaders actually believe in hard work and results. The trainers (either a pastor this or apostle that and my most admired ‘Adetula the great’) came one after the other talking about the product and the “wonders” it does, the pioneer and his successes (businesses and family) and also about the business side of joining the Trevo wagon,  with testimonies of how millionaires have been made.

I think it is not a bad idea considering good Jobs can’t really make millionaires only entrepreneurial skills can ensure that and that’s what the campaign really stressed.  Even if these youths don’t eventually sign up, they have been taught one thing that will help them throughout life and that is, there is greatness in their inside and they just have to find a way to let it out.

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William Shakespeare said “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” but the bottom line is “there is greatness in everyone . (But you have to) look within yourself and discover your greatness.” Lailah Gifty concluded. Don’t underestimate yourself or the potential you carry, don’t be someone with great ideas only, be someone who is willing and able to take bold steps to backup those lofty ideas. We are children of destiny, a fate that is in our own hands.