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Trade off to Success

“To get one thing that you like, you have to give up another thing that you like.”

Some will say you can’t eat your cake and have it, if you have eaten it then it is gone; the irony of life. The cost of something is what you give up to get it, the cost of building your own dream is to give up building another man’s dream.

Unfortunately, most of us want to eat our cake and have it. We want to party all night and still excel in the exam we write in the morning; we want to live in sin yet enjoy unlimited Grace; we want to lay idle yet except something to happen; we want to stay in bed and hope success will find us there… To have what we desire most we have to give up what we desire least. It is called sacrifice or trade off.

Winners embrace hard work. They love the discipline of it, the trade-off they’re making to win. Losers, on the other hand, see it as punishment. And that’s the difference.
Lou Holtz

Trading off is not an easy thing to do, losing what you desire is never fun, no matter how small it seems but the truth is that it will be worth it. It takes discipline for someone to give up what he is enjoying at moment just for the sake of what he is to enjoy in some distant future, a discipline many of us lack and the reason it has been difficult to change our status.

What are those things you need to give up to be able to focus on your goals? Deep down you know you have to let some things go, you have to avoid some sets of people and stop taking advice from some group of friends. These are little inconveniences you will have to bear if you desire to reach those goals. Trade offs are must on your route to success and a stitch in time saves nine!

Trade off to Success

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I Wish I Knew These Years Back

Life is a learning curve, we learn new things and unlearn old obsolete things. When we stop learning, we stop growing and some have even argued that we stop being productive. As much as we learn on daily basis, some knowledge or information we have them a little too late; I am sure most of us are familiar with instances like that. Imagine if you had the information with certainty 1year ago what value of Bitcoin would be this year; you would be in thousands if not millions not by now. That’s how precious having the right information the right time can be.

You are wondering now, how far you could have gone too, right? If only you had known a thing or two earlier. Well, it could be really painful especially when you imagine the impact it could have had on your business, relationship, career, academics and so on.

So here are few things I wish I knew years back:

1. Irrespective of what I do, I will succeed

Success is a product of sustained hard work and sometimes a bit of fortune. I wish I knew this earlier in life, especially the part of “sustained hard work”. Over the years, I have made it an habit to work on a project for a while and once I stopped getting my desired result, I abandon it and start another. I don’t sustain anything, I tell myself I have lots of ideas why tie myself down to what is not working. But now I know better, whatever I do, I will succeed, I just have to sustain it long enough till success finds me. Be it white-collar job, self employment, entrepreneur, intrepreneur, talent use, skill use, artistic or instructive whichever it is so long as I can sustain it, I will succeed.

2. The only time money grows is when it is invested

Investment is key, I have heard people say this over a gazillion times, but me? Always scared, I rather have a safe Naira (Nigerian currency) than risk making it four by investing. I think the problem is I prefer certainty. However, recently, I realized that life itself is a risk, a safe Naira won’t grow in value nor volume, and to be fair what’s the use of idle cash that cannot grow. Investment is not just a word thrown around by bookies, it is a word I need to practice, if I truly want to make a fortune. Damn, I wish I realized this earlier.

3. I don’t need people’s approval

I have missed many breaks because I was too conscious of people’s reaction. People will talk alright and I know this, in fact I understand even when you do nothing they will still talk but one thing I have not been able to over come is what would friends and family say if they know I did this. The feeling was that of needing their approval before I can do something meaningful with my life. Oh, how I got that wrong all this while! I need nobody’s approval, my friends and family might find it difficult to accept what I have chosen to become, mostly out of love but in due time when they see how meaningful, it all turned out, they will celebrate me for love. You know what, approval is overrated amongst other things especially here in the west, thereby killing talents, ideas, innovations and all that big English words that stimulate success. Don’t say “really”, just go with your inspired thoughts.

4. Relationship is overrated at early 20s

20s is that age when love and sacrifice get a little too confusing. You can bet I had my own fair share of the confusion. Killing big ideas, ignoring lifetime opportunities and taking off course decisions just because I want to be around someone I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with unfortunately at the wrong age. Seriously, love is something way off control and has a way of taking the power to decide from our head and giving it to our heart, not that bad till the love expires and we start seeing things we have lost because of those bad calls (raise your hand if you can relate). To make matters worse, we find a new love and we make same wrong decisions all over again. Ooh 20s! Relationship should be adding value and enhancing personal growth. Not that because my goals would put distance between us then I should abandon them, rather we should find a way to still love in spite of the distance, that is if we truly love in the first place. 20s you just get fond of someone you are close to, when they are gone you miss them the get close to another and the cycle continues; this cycle is not worth giving up your dreams for.

5. Friends with purpose are scarce

We make friends at different stages of life; the good, the bad and the ugly. Some we wonder how we even met (someone’s name came to mind right?), while others we wonder why we had to let them go (that one person you so missed). What I have come to realize is that true friends may be scare but friends with purpose are even rarer. What friends can do in one’s life cannot be overemphasized, many great names became great because they met friends with purpose while some people can only sit back and watch friends they have lost mount podium of greatness. I have been a victim of the latter but now I am wiser, to know who to hold on to and which friend to keep at arm’s length.

6. Spiritual is as important as physical

Growing up, my mum would always say “whatever is manifesting in the physical (reality) already took place in the Spiritual realm”, how I wished I had harken to that Woman’s words. Not too long ago, I finally realized that before swinging of swords there must be lifting of hands, before I can take control of the physical, I must first ensure my Spiritual life is on the right track. I understand if you find it difficult to agree with this, I used to be like you but in due time, it will all make sense. You may want to argue that many successful people don’t really have a spiritual life but I will also have you know that there is a big difference between wealthy and successful. Read my article “I don’t want to be successful” for clarification.

7. Success is the best revenge

If you knew me way back then you will know how vengeful I can be, I once inserted pins into my sister’s covered shoes just to get back at her for reporting me. I keep malice and I used to believe in tit for tat (the Mosaic Rule). Now a wiser me knows better, when you think people have offended you, don’t spend your valuable time on plotting how to get even rather disappoint them by not stooping low to their level. Use your valuable time to work on yourself. If you are the type that gets very angry, convert that anger into hunger for success (energy may be beyond destruction but can be converted), let the humiliation that you feel propel you to the point that you just want to amount to something big in life. I have also come to understand that people who hate on you get shattered when you finally succeed, so why deny them that devastation when all you have to do is just succeed.

8. Start first then worry about the problems after

I am a perfectionist, I love to have everything well spelt out before I engage in anything. As much as I love this about me, I have also learned that it is less effective when it comes to being an entrepreneur. There are many dreams I have conceived and abandoned almost immediately because I can’t see pass the problems of starting, the thing is I worry far too much about everything. But now I know better, if it is a dream then I will go after it, end of story! I will start first and ask questions after, I will jump then figure out landing afterwards. I think success is a risk on its own and what fun is life if I expect everything to be perfect.

9. Suck up but don’t give up

Pride goes before a fall, is already a cliché. We were raised to be humble, respectful and honest. I think we were raised right but something was left out of all these. They forget to tell us mean people will most likely have what we desire and to get it we will have to suck up to them and endure all the insults and disappointments, till we have what we want from them. I wish I knew this earlier, I can only imagine how far I would have gone if I had endure some rude bosses, crazy customers, cocky intellects, dare devil idealists etc, these people had at one time or another held the key to what I seek and I could have taken it from them if I had just been a little good at sucking up.

10. No one really cares

I have been really shy to try some things over the years or do I say I have been critical of what people will think. Now I see people pulling off those ideas and being celebrated. Little did I know that no one really cares about how you made it, there might be tongues wagging while you are at it but the moment results starts flying in their account of you would start changing. Success changes view! No idea is below your standard, it is what you make of it that sets the standard. Really there are no new ideas just old ideas presented in new enticing forms. I for one can’t be discouraged with initial comments; colleagues may think I can do better than this, family may think I had more prospects than this, friends may think this is a new low for me but when the results starting rolling in my favour, they will to do their rethink.

11. It is okay to ask for help

Many times I need help but somehow I tell myself I can still manage. Maybe I was shy, maybe it was pride, maybe I was scared of people telling me “NO”, whatever my reasons were at the time, I don’t think they were worth not knowing what could have been. Now when I need help I will ask, when I need information I will probe, when I need guidance I will seek. The only way you see further is to stand on the shoulders of someone taller. I am tired of wondering what the response could have been.

So bring it on, life!

Now I know better, and I am ready to do things better, I am putting all my past experiences into good use. I deserve better and I know it. So I won’t just sit around and hope things will change, I will make them change. I won’t keep doing things the old way and expect a new result, I will change my ways. I earned my experience from my past mistakes and hideous believes now is time to prove that I have learned and I am willing to rise because I have paid the price. So do you!

I Wish I Knew These Years Back

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Twenty is the formative age for success, the further you move away from this age the more pressured you get to succeed. However, there are some life facts that you need to know as you approach this age if you want to be really successful. I implore you to carefully read this article.

What You Do Defines Who You Are (and What You Get Out of Life)

We’ve all got that friend – the one who is always talking big, like they’re going to start this amazing new company, write an inspiring novel or change the world. In fact we probably have more than one friend we hear constantly talking about big future plans.

The problem I have noticed with not all, but many of my peers (20-somethings) is follow-through. Ideas are everywhere, but motivation is seemingly nonexistent. Life doesn’t start tomorrow, life is happening right now. Successful people know this and are focused on achieving their dreams and goals 24/7.It’s more than an obsession and a passion, it’s what they are living. Instead of talking, they’re doing.

Does what you’re doing at your day job support your overall life goals?

Are you equally excited for personal projects as you are projects at work?

Do you actually have any personal projects?

Do you have a passion?

Are you refining/advancing your skills and knowledge of something daily?

Do you know exactly what you want in life?

These are all big questions. But I guarantee you successful, motivated and passionate people not only answered yes to all of them instantly, but they even knew the what and why as well without much thought. If you didn’t answer yes to all of these, it may be the day to rethink your life.

I’m 25 and know exactly what I want out of life and the ways I plan to achieve it. In fact, I’ve known for years. One of my peers told me, that “I’m lucky to have found something I’m passionate about.” I disagree with that. I’m not “lucky” to have found it at all, it was a combination of my unquenchable thirst for knowledge, my desire to pursue independent learning and the fact that I can’t stop reading and consuming information.

If you haven’t found it yet, that incredible spark and excitement for life, here’s the reality: it isn’t just going to randomly happen or fall into your lap. It isn’t the result of lots of money, nor is it the result of chance and circumstance.

It is the result of freeing yourself mentally and engaging your intellect. It is the result of breaking away from your peers and delving deeply into a niche. It is the result of focus, determination and motivation. It is the result of an internal drive that is unstoppable.

How do you find a passion? There’s so many engaging, interesting and ultimately fulfilling things to spend your free time (and your work time) doing. The question is how can you not find a passion?

Once you’ve found it, it’s amazing and indescribable – no one can sway your thoughts and your concentration. When you know exactly what you want in life and what really drives you, you’ll never again be bored, tired or unfulfilled. Seemingly boundless inspiration and motivation will be brought forward.

Friends have called me “because they are bored” and I never understood it. I’m not sure how it is possible to be bored, life itself presents infinite challenges and mysteries, but only finite amount of time to explore them. That’s why having a focus is vital – we’re all only given X amount of time to accomplish what we set forth, and you certainly cannot do everything.

People who spend their free time engaged in a passion are happier, more creative and more dynamic in their personality than those who merely spend their time as consumers of vapid entertainment pop-culture. Getting sucked into that is a waste of life and (in my opinion) leaves smart people unfulfilled. It’s essentially fast food for your brain – small amounts once in awhile are fine, but I can’t understand how people live off of it.

Do you come home from work and simply fall down in front of the TV where you spend your time until you sleep? If the answer is yes, perhaps you should consider living life yourself instead of by proxy. You’re going to wake up one day regretting how you spent your limited time in existence. A human lifespan is but a cosmic blink when you consider the age of the Earth, our galaxy and the universe. It’s precious, it’s rare and it is happening right now. To waste it is to give up the ultimate gift.

I feel like most of you reading here understand this, and if you do this post was not for you. It’s for everyone who is living life by proxy and for those of you who haven’t yet found a passion and embraced your true, creative self. It is not too late, you can do it.

Start today!

WRITTEN BY ADAM SINGER

PUBLISHED MAY 14, 2008

What You Need To Know At Twenty

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Dear Friend,

I will not tell you I understand how you feel because the truth is only you understand how it hurts but this I can assure you, you are strong enough to make it through. Maybe you feel weak right now, maybe you are tired, a little hug here and a little love there may be all you think you have been living off for a while but I believe it only takes a strong spirit to have come this far. I know it hurts so much and you feel you can’t share, I can relate because your silence says a lot. I wish there is more I can do to let you see what I see in you.

I see is a Sun at dawn, even though it is still shielded by the thick dark cloud, soon there will come a time when nothing can stop its shine.

Most times life would not give us what we deserve, by a longshot we might be far from what we believe should be our reality or where we think we should be but that is life. The humiliation, the stigma and the “bitter after taste” might be too much to bear, this I understand is not easy but I also know many have come from the grave dark to grace the stardom lights.

Opera Winfrey was raped repeatedly for years, got pregnant and lost the baby. It seemed she was in that darkest place where no one can come out of but somehow she never gave up. Today, her light shines brighter everyday while guiding others to the light.

Joyce Meyer suffered abuse, molestation and rape from her own father for several years. She said those were her darkest hours but then she didn’t give in to those hours. God’s love found her and today she is touching lives with her story.

Steve Jobs was ‘fired’ from his own company ‘Apple’ by someone he hired but he didn’t give up, he didn’t let anger, feeling of being betrayed and quest for vengeance cloud his judgement. He built another company called NEXT and through that he was able to get back into Apple.

You may have been humiliated by people you trusted, people you thought you could count on through thick and thin but then life is a war with many battles, you may have lost several battles up till now but I can assure you the war is not over. So long as you don’t let depression bring the worst out of you, like a wounded lion, inch by inch, you can claw your way back into this fight.

It is easy to think revenge will set you free, this I will not stop you from especially when it seems your mind is all made up but here is a fact I know, no good thing comes from being vengeful. When you hold on to hate, revenge, or bitterness, it is like trying to smite someone who hurt you with hot iron rod in your bare hands, whether you succeed or not, you would have burned your own hands in the process. My honest advice, let it go! It won’t be easy but it is the right thing to do, let karma do her work and you concentrate on building your life a piece at a time.

Death may seem a way out, but suicide is for cowards. The brave would rather die fighting than commit suicide. You are brave my friend, I see so much life in you, even through the thick cloud, I believe your Sun will still get its turn to shine. I know you probably expect more from people but there is so little anyone can do, honestly. As much as I want to assure you things will be alright, there is just little I can offer you but my words. People may seem less concerned but that is not totally true, there is more than meets the eye; most people are also struggling with things they would rather not talk about, yet they wear the smile of ‘all is well’. However, after all said and done, never forget to reach out. It is easier to fight life’s battles when you have someone to rub minds with.

You are not alone in this struggle. It is a phase and it will pass. It is okay to be confused, it is human to feel insecure and unsure, these only remind us that we are not perfect; and nobody is perfect. You can ask questions or just do it anyway. Don’t give up on yourself on the account of how life has treated you, remember only the test of fire makes a fine steel. I believe in you my friend, I believe your light can still find its way through this thick cloud. Your past don’t define you, you are wiser, you are braver, you have all it takes; dig deep!

Letter to My Depressed Friend

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Why Good Things Take Time

Why must we wait before things start turning right? Why must we go through the preparing stage before self actualization? Why must it first be stormy before a good rain comes?

There are a thousand and one questions that leaves us speechless when it comes to waiting for success to happen. In fact some say you don’t wait for it to happen rather you go after what you truly desire. One thing I have learned is that it would always be stormy but when we are not scared to face (wait) the storm, we will soon learn how to fly through it.

I implore you to watch this 6 minutes teaching video and learn!

Click Link Below To Watch

Good Things Take Time

You can also visit Selah’s Media (link below) for more audio and videos

Selah’s Media

Why Good Things Take Time

Your Attention Span

Your Attention Span

I learned a lesson from my little boy that I love to share with you.

My little boy is such a fine 4year old with lots of enthusiasm about almost everything; he wants to write, draw, discover new things, play and watch Nickelodeon all at the same time. On this day, he was trying to reassemble his scattered toy and he was at it for some minutes, trying to connect one part to another. As he was about getting it, another thing caught his attention, a piece of paper and pen, so he left his toy and moved to drawing with his new found writing tools. As I was still wondering why he left a toy he seemed so much interested in few minutes ago, I noticed he wasn’t even drawing again, now he was face fixed on SpongeBob on Nickelodeon. I just smiled and said to myself, “he still has short attention span”. Then it hit me, it might be excusable for my little boy but then some adults still suffer from this, especially with their dreams.

The average human attention span was 12 seconds in 2000 and 8 seconds in 2013. A drop of 33%. The scary part is that the attention span of a goldfish was 9 seconds, almost 13% more than us humans. That’s why it’s getting tougher by the day to get people to turn the page. – Ashwin Sanghi

Having so many talents and energy is a very good thing, in fact I love multitalented people but I have also noticed that most multitalented people are as confused as my little boy. Get this, being able to do so many things or being enthusiastic about different things is not a bad thing in itself, but not being able to see one thing through before jumping to another is dangerous. Going back to my little boy, he attempted about 3 things in less than 15minutes and he still didn’t achieve anything. Does this sound like you?

Short attention span has robbed many of the glory they seek; as they are working on one project, they jump to another and before they can achieve anything meaningful they hump on to another. The truth is, getting something done requires that we give that thing most, if not all of our attention. Most of us, myself inclusive, are guilty of this, once we try once or twice we abandon it and move to another thing, and before the turn of the year we would have tried more things than can be counted with the fingers, while if we had stayed with one idea, try and try and try till it starts working by the same turn of the year we would have gone really far.

Whatever you want to do, whatever is placed in your heart, whatever you are so convinced is your way, do everything within your means to follow it through. – Selahsomeone

Take for instance, today we want to do music, tomorrow we want to do modelling and before that could click we are thinking of going into branding business and so on, and at the end of the day we realize we have achieved nothing but pieces of dreams that can’t be put together. Understand this, having many streams of income presupposes that you establish one stream before moving unto another, not that you do one half way, then you jump to another.

Whatever you want to do, whatever is placed in your heart, whatever you are so convinced is your way, do everything within your means to follow it through. Yes! There will be hitches, hurdles and even mountains to climb but none would be enduring if you are persistent consistently. You will be tempted to quit and try something else but as the saying goes quitters don’t win. If you quit this now for something else, then soon you will quit that something else for another thing the moment you are faced with challenges. Even though we see ourselves doing so much, it is wiser to do things one at a time or at most combining two things that we can work together. Let’s look at people who have made impact, most of them are known for one or two achievements. You see, it is always easier to run faster when your load is light.

Be resolute in your approach, work on your attention span, be as excited as you were at the beginning even at the crises middle up till you start seeing results. Good ideas might get you started but without consistency and daily renewed passion, good ideas won’t translate to success. Focus on what you know you are best at and give it all your attention, don’t quit because the results are taking too long to come and say you want to try something else, be diligent, be persistent and be consistent, and when you become fully established in that thing you are best at, you can now bring in your other talents to support it.

You are a Success!

You are a Success!

I didn’t say ‘You are successful’. I chose my words carefully. Success is one concept that is difficult to pin down to a specific universal definition. It’s an elusive, evasive and slippery idea. Frankly, what really is success? What are the yardsticks for determining a complete success story?

If getting married was success, Jesus was a failure.

If being unmarried was success, Mohammed was a failure.

If amassing college degrees was success, George Washington was a failure.

If growing gray hair and dying old was success, Alexander The Great were failures. (He died at 32years of age).

If being the wealthiest man was success, Albert Einstein was a failure (in his time).

I think you get the gist by now.

There’s no way you’d define success universally without making light of and alienating many notable names; apparent success stories.

I wouldn’t say success is relative, but I’d say it is subjective. If it was relative (to persons), a murderer may define serial killing as his idea of success. But nobody in his or her right mind should see that as success. The fact that he kills people successfully doesn’t mean he is a success story. But when I say success is subjective, it means that the meaning of success is subject to circumstances and/or experiences of one’s life. For instance, a man who was physically and sexually abused as a boy is a success if he grows up to empower rather than abuse others. Rising above negative circumstances and experiences of life is my definition of success. The moment you rise above your negative circumstances, you are the real MVP (a success story).

A friend told the story of his life thus;

I remember when I was admitted to Nigerian Law School. My hope of being called to the Nigerian Bar was almost dashed. The problem was the Law School Tuition. It was #230,000. This was 2007/2008 Academic Session. You see, in my family at that time, #230,000 was a fortune. It would be a fortune if your Dad was a retired low-level NEPA official (Pensioner) and your Mum a medium-scale trader. My Dad literally called a nuclear family meeting to discuss how we would raise the almighty tuition so that I could make it to Law School. He even considered selling his car at the time.

Folks, that amount was a big deal to us. Well, to cut to the chase, through sweat and blood, my Dad raised the money. I don’t even want to know how. All I know is that on the day I was given the cash to pay into the Nigerian Law School designated account, I became paranoid. It felt like I was being followed. Until that day, I had never held that much cash in my life. I was more vigilant than an FBI agent even in the bank premises. I only regained my sanity after the cashier gave me my Bank Teller and said, ‘have a nice day’.

Today, for one court case, I charge almost twice or triple that amount. Someone might wonder, ‘but I spend #500,000 on feeding every month and you charge that for a lawsuit?’ Exactly! And that’s why success is subjective. One man’s lunch money is another man’s weekly budget. And they may both be success stories because their circumstances are radically different. My parents went to great lengths, running from pillar to post just to get #230,000. I make double or triple that amount in one brief. That is Success to me and my parents especially. They did for me what was not done for them. They rose above their own circumstances.

You too can. And when you do, you are for all intents and purposes a Success. No matter what your bank account reads, if you can rise above your challenges, You are a Success!

How To Manage a fail

How To Manage a fail

Every successful person had failed at one thing or the other at a point in time. If you are willing to improve on yourself or try new things then you are bound to fail at a point, if you do not quit however, you will eventually succeed.

When we fail to get something we have worked so hard for, we tend to believe it is the end, nothing else is worth trying. Know this, the end of one thing is always the beginning of another but you have to decide what begins at the end of your fail. What some have termed epic fail has turned out to be the spurring beginning of a big time success streak for others. Our fails should spur us to trying again and again and again, after all we have learned new things from our last fail that would definitely help us to do better, if we try again.

There are few tricks to managing the fallouts of a fail to ensure you don’t get drowned in what is just temporary.

1. See a fail as an opportunity to learn: Because you failed doesn’t necessary mean you are not good enough rather most fails are just pointers to the fact that there are some things you don’t know yet. When you embrace a fail as an opportunity to learn new things, it won’t weigh you down, rather it will increase your desire to succeed. Success is not some thing we pick from the streets like garbage, success requires work on the dream and most importantly work on self. There are certain things we will have to give up and some things we will have learn to become successful, fails teach that!

2. Keep your focus on your dreams and not your current situation: It is easy after a big loss to get lost in the weakness of that moment. For example, in a Football league a team won’t say because they have lost their first two matches, they have lost the hope of winning the title, they know there is still a long way to go! The chase after success is not a dash, it is a marathon! The focus has to be on the dream or goal not what is currently happening; attention on goals not circumstances. Loss or fail is just an event not the whole story, we need understand this. How the story plays out depend on what we make of the different events in the story.

3. Avoid people with depressing comments: After a fail, it is not uncommon to have people around in a pity party mood with depressing comments that can kill one’s zeal to give it another shot; avoid this! We have the power to control the atmosphere in and around us by the choices we make. Even when you don’t have control over what you hear, you can still decide on what and who you listen to and when you can’t control what and who you see, you can always control the ideas you meditate on. Exercise your power of choice as your life and dreams depend on it.

4. Keep yourself motivated at all times: It is said that motivation is like having bath, you need it all the time to keep you refreshed but after a fail, you even need it more. It is like after a workout, even if you had showered already in the day, you would still need another to feel alright. After fails are exactly when you need motivations the most because at these times we are most vulnerable, different thoughts cross our mind; of regrets, of disgust, of weariness, of doubts, of distrust and if we allow them to take root, they will destroy all the hard work we have already put in to get to where we are at the moment. So we need motivation to clear our head and set us back on track. Talk to your mentor, rub minds with people who have trodden the same path and came out successful.

5. Don’t forget where you are coming from: Fails have a way of making us forget past successes but we would have to remind ourselves where we started from and what has led us to where we are now. Most need for success are driven by our past sufferings, humiliations, frustrations and need to see things change, and if we keep these in mind and while not forgetting what hurdles we have surmounted along the way to get to this point, we will see that this fail is not enough to stop us. Like the Biblical Israelites, after all their long suffering in Egypt, they knew the Red sea was not big enough to send the back to where they are coming from, so somehow amazingly they matched through it.

Have a mindset of a winner, even when you fail see it as part of your learning process. Don’t quit, try again and again and again till you succeed!

SAME ROUTE, DIFFERENT DESTINATION

SAME ROUTE, DIFFERENT DESTINATION

We all were born into life without a clue of what living entails or what lies ahead of us. As children, we familiarise ourselves with the environment and people around us. A child accepts the people who they see often but are sceptical when strange people come around. As one grows older, this attitude to get attached to the known and become cautious of the unknown continues to characterize our actions in life. However, when a known individual becomes distant due to certain reasons, we sometimes hold on longer than we should because of the emotions which becloud our judgements.

The life in which we were born is rich in itself. It teaches us how to live in it through lessons that may be subtle or obvious. Take for example, you embark on a journey; whichever medium you choose to use, you meet people on your way. During the period of the transit, you may engage in discussions with people on topics helpful to your journey. If there is a cause to take some decisions about the journey, you tend to trust the opinion of your fellow commuters rather than someone without the experience of the journey. 

Nonetheless, once you arrived at your expected destination, you alight from the transportation medium. With little or no thought about those whose company you have enjoyed for hours, you continue to proceed in the achievement of the purpose for the journey. If you met anyone exceptional during the journey, you most likely keep in touch with such person.

The above analogy explains life though we rarely see the connection. Being on the same bus or flight to a city does not mean you must end your day with those people. Everyone you meet in life has got a time span to spend with you. Either we notice it or not, it is impossible to stay around the same set of people all your lifetime. You may be on the same route but your destination might be different. Hanging on longer than you should to your vehicle of transit will make you miss your destination and hence, forfeit the essence of your journey.

Those whose virtue have not completely rubbed off on you will still be on the same route with you as you advance in your journey. Twenty friends cannot play for twenty years because they all have different scripts and scenes cut out for them by life.  A scene needs to end for another to begin. As emotional as it may feel, it is the only way to a successful and meaningful drama.

Understanding when to keep on and when to quit a friendship is essential in order not to expend one’s energy in wrong areas. It keeps you abreast on who should feature in the next stage of your life. Not everyone you admire should remain in your circle. Some people should leave for some reasons or after a season. Others should always stick around because their contribution to your success in life is recurring; so says a woman of wisdom. 

It is not always an act of pride when people choose not to fight over some relationships. They may have realised that it is expedient to let go. Nevertheless, know your route and your destination and always identify those who should join you or leave at every juncture!

What is that in your hand?

‘What is that in your hand?’

When God called Moses, one of the first questions He asked him was: ‘What is that in your hand?’ Moses was holding his shepherd’s staff – the one he used each day to lead and protect his sheep. But God had a different plan for it – a greater one! He used it to part the Red Sea and lead Israel into the Promised Land. When God asks you, ‘What is that in your hand?’ He wants you to think about your talents, experiences, relationships, education, resources, your mind and your temperament. – By Bob Bass

From the quote above, God just had to show Moses, Moses had all he needed to succeed. So also, I am bringing to your notice today, you have all you need to achieve that your desired goal(s). Understand this, all you have been through up until this time are no accidents, they are by design the exact things you need to push you to where you need to be. Your experiences, talent(s), lessons, trials, triumphs are just to get you in tune for what you have always wanted. But you have to be able to harness all these positively to make them work for you.

It may not seem much what you have but once you can take that big bold step, you will realize you have more than enough. You are equipped to succeed by default, no one is useless, no one is designed to be a failure, no one is destined to be irrelevant, we are all a product of a God that never fails, but we have to be willing to do our part; take the step, test our limits and go against all odds. It may not be easy but like I will always say, it will be worth it.

New day is always a reminder of the fact that you can start afresh any time you choose to, it goes dark and then it is morning, everything starts afresh. It is never late to change, make a choice, choose a path, find a new something worthwhile doing or meet that dream person of yours. Whichever level you think you are, you can always move to the next, but it is by choice, by deliberate attempt to better your yesterday while setting new heights for yourself.

So much depends on the choice you make now going forward. Remember, you have all it takes, don’t doubt yourself like Moses did at first, you are made for something extraordinary and you can do it. Your dreams may be scary, may look impossible but God gave you them for a reason and without a doubt I have strong conviction that you are just what those dreams need to come alive.

Keep going!